Doesn't Beauty Start With A Smile?

[jazzzbaby]

I was out last night (first time in years!) and I noticed that
some of the ladies that were dressed up in genuine vintage
wear never seemed to crack a smile. I felt that it brought a
coldness to their look.

I thought to myself..."My oh My how important a smile is!"

[LadyStardust]

"You're never fully dressed without a smile!"..and all that jazz?;)

I would hazard that maybe either they weren't confident in what they were wearing, themselves...or perhaps they were just in sour moods. [huh]

But I agree, a smile completes any outfit, and obviously adds warmth and ease to the situation.

[LizzieMaine]

That's something that really bugs me about the modern generation -- that whole blase, hip-ironic-too-cool-for-it-all attitude where a smug smirk is about as close as you get to a smile. It comes across, to me at least, as both cold and self-involved, and is very unflattering, no matter how one is dressed. Lighten up, kids!

[Viola]

Well, I have a very animated smiling style in person but I usually DON'T smile in pictures, not more than a closed-mouth smirk, just because I don't like how it comes out looking in photos.

-Viola

[vonwotan]

Several folks in the Boston area took it upon themselves to sign a pledge. Frustrated with the sour expressions seen on fellow pedestrians, we agreed to smile and say hello to our neighbors and fellow communters. With some exceptions, smiles were generally returned and, not infrequently, accompanied by a friendly hello.

Very encouraging that such a simple gesture can still elicit a positive response. However, we did notice a few people who seemed to take offense to any attention directed their way. Perhaps if enough of us smile, doff our hats, or say hello, the rest will learn to accept or appreciate this practice?

[Rosie]

Many people don't smile regularly but if you smile at them (like I do) you almost always get a smile back. :)

[jitterbugdoll]

My grandmother always said that pretty is as pretty does. No matter have lovely a person might be on the outside, if she is not nice on the inside, her beauty is tarnished a bit.

I do agree--having a smile on your face often encourages others to smile back :)

[ITG]

My grandmother always said that pretty is as pretty does. No matter have lovely a person might be on the outside, if she is not nice on the inside, her beauty is tarnished a bit.

I do agree--having a smile on your face often encourages others to smile back :)
Yes I agree. It's amazing how much a smile can make a difference. I've met so many good looking people but they seem so cold when approached but a smile can really break the ice.

[MissHuff]

I've always been accused of having a cheery disposition by people because I am always smiling and not in a good way. Since when was being friendly a bad thing? I like to smile and smile at people because I am a people person and like that to be known. It's really unfortunate to see all the people walking down the street looking like they're about to murder the next person that catches their eye let alone smiles at them. What would Emily Post say!

How is anyone ever supposed to approach you if you don't present a friendly face?

[Viola]

Honestly in a lot of public situations, I'm trying to keep a stonier face so that I DON'T get approached. Not a scowl, but apparently some people get the wrong idea if you nod or smile or even respond to them at all, sometimes.

-Viola

[Naama]

Well, I have a very animated smiling style in person but I usually DON'T smile in pictures, not more than a closed-mouth smirk, just because I don't like how it comes out looking in photos.

-Viola

Funny, but it's exactly the same thing with me lol I just can't stand myself smiling in pictures, most of the time.

Naama

[Kim_B]

My grandmother always said that pretty is as pretty does.


My Grandmother always said this to me as well!

I always try to keep a smile on my face - people tend to be a lot more friendly when you're smiling!

[waingirl]

I have had some people that I know come up to me and ask me what is wrong, then "you should smile more". I guess I don't even realize it, I am in a fine mood, maybe happy even, but my face just doesn't present it well. I think it has something to do with being shy. If someone smiles at me, I do smile back though. :D

[pigeon toe]

Honestly in a lot of public situations, I'm trying to keep a stonier face so that I DON'T get approached. Not a scowl, but apparently some people get the wrong idea if you nod or smile or even respond to them at all, sometimes.

-Viola

I've been trying not to smile as much lately too, for the same reasons! But when I'm with friends or my boyfriend, I can't help but smiling like a goon all night.

I remember I was at a Dita Von Teese book signing last year there were two very nicely dressed vintage girls that just looked so unfriendly and dour. Since they came together, I couldn't understand why they weren't smiling and joking around. It just made them look like they were trying too hard.

[CanadaDoll]

I was having a really rough day over Christmas and at about 4:30 we were finally slow enough to go get our lunches, and I must have looked really sour, cause I had someone call to me on the walk saying, "You should smile you'd be really pretty if you smiled more!" I was in such a miserable mood that I seriously entertained the thought of slapping them, but when I thought about it later it's true, you do look prettier when you smile, and not only that you feel better and friendlier.

[RaasAlHayya]

It really bothers me when strangers tell me to "cheer up!" or "smile!" I don't think my face is any of their business. Perhaps I should comment on their faces?

I don't go around grinning like an idiot. I don't make a conscious effort to smile or not smile if I'm not on a stage. I have other things to think about.

--Leslie

(Edited to add) This is not to say that I think people who smile a lot are idiots...not at all! But I would feel foolish if I did so.

[HadleyH]

You know, may be I'm funny but I like smiling, and I like when people smile back at me. [huh]

[RetroModelSari]

I try to smile as much aa possible. For one reason cause it makes ME feel better, for the other reason: It makes others feel better, too.

[Paisley]

A kind, pleasant expression is a good thing, but to try to smile continually? My face would be tired, and everybody would know I was faking it. I can't help thinking of the movie Ed Wood where Johnny Depp constantly wore a grin. :eusa_doh:

And people who say "smile!" "Cheer up!" Maybe they think they are the director of a show. Someday they are going to give their directions to "Smile!" to someone who has just lost a job or is in mourning.

[TheKitschGoth]

And people who say "smile!" "Cheer up!" Maybe they think they are the director of a show. Someday they are going to give their directions to "Smile!" to someone who has just lost a job or is in mourning.

People that do that bug me, they don't know the person they are telling to smile, for all they know that stranger may well have been told bad news. So telling them to "cheer up", or my personal favourite "it might never happen", isn't the best idea. If those people really wanted to see people smiling maybe they should make the effort to find out why they aren't smiling in the first place.

[Miss Sis]

Well, if you do smile, it does make other people feel better and if you feel in the mood to smile - then go for it! At an event or party, I'm enjoying myself so I smile and chat to whoever is there. I like meeting people and smiling is a way of being approachable to others.

It does make the world a more pleasant place to be and is miles better than the sea of scowls you generally see most days. :)

[Kim_B]

Well, if you do smile, it does make other people feel better and if you feel in the mood to smile - then go for it! At an event or party, I'm enjoying myself so I smile and chat to whoever is there. I like meeting people and smiling is a way of being approachable to others.

It does make the world a more pleasant place to be and is miles better than the sea of scowls you generally see most days. :)


I agree! I tend to smile when passing people in the halls or on the street - it's not as if I wander around with a maniacal grin about my face! I do believe the only people who are capable of smiling 24/7 are those with plastic surgery gone awry! ;)

[Paisley]

People that do that bug me, they don't know the person they are telling to smile, for all they know that stranger may well have been told bad news. So telling them to "cheer up", or my personal favourite "it might never happen", isn't the best idea. If those people really wanted to see people smiling maybe they should make the effort to find out why they aren't smiling in the first place.

Or pay them a compliment. :)

[TheKitschGoth]

Or pay them a compliment. :)

Exactly. But then I find a lot of the people that tend to shout at people to cheer up are actually just doing it because they think it sounds witty :eusa_doh: Or maybe it's just where I live [huh]

[Rebecca D]

some of the ladies that were dressed up in genuine vintage
wear never seemed to crack a smile.


In my circle of friends this is called "Rockabilly Poo Face" and it has nothing to do with what some of you gals have mentioned above. Go to Viva Las Vegas and you'll see plenty of it - some vintage women are just plain mean.

[Molly O'Star]

I agree with you, Rebecca. This is definitely something that happens at all of the Rockabilly shows. I think it's mostly about girls who never learned to be women...

They get all dolled up and as soon as they see someone they think looks better than they do, they start scowling. Or, they keep the perma-scowl on as if to say, "We don't have to be friendly, because this is OUR place." Really, I think a lot of it comes from general cattiness. It gets to the point that you can't even really tell a girl you like her dress, or shoes, or anything, because she just rolls her eyes and makes a beeline for the closest neo-greaser to prove she's Bettier-than-thou.

I love to smile and do it all the time. I've met some awesome women just because we smiled at each other. Let all the frowners be miserable together, I'm having a good time and I don't care who knows it! :D

[jitterbugdoll]

I agree with you too, Rebecca.


because she just rolls her eyes and makes a beeline for the closest neo-greaser to prove she's Bettier-than-thou.


I love your description, Molly--it made me laugh, but it's so true :)

[Paisley]

When I don't look very cheery at my usual party places, it's usually because my friends aren't there and I don't see anyone I wish to strike up a conversation with. I've been around long enough to know that conversation attempts in that case will be met with 13-year-old-isms (http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=15500). To wit:

"Have you been here before?"

"No."

"How do you like it?"

"Great."

"Did you go to the class earlier?"

"No."

:mad:

[Paisley]

Then there was the guy who walked into our office, didn't find me friendly enough, said "You're in the wrong job, honey" and tattled to my superiors. :rage:

Of course, they didn't believe him when he said I was rude.

[jazzzbaby]

YES...the 'bettier-than-thou" is a classic line! So is "Rockabilly Poo Face"
I am laughing so hard at these ~

My opinion on smiling is this. No one has to smile all the time. We all can see a scowl is different than that blank look of "I Vant To Be Alone" (courtesy of Garbo there) ~ It's just when a person has warmth to their personality it comes across in a natural way. It's just an ease that accompanies their glances or their smile. I smiled a lot on Friday night because it had been three years since I have been out and the night was glorious. BUT, I didn't smile at the drunk guy next to me who was staring at my cleavage...I just kept looking away in other directions whilst smiling.

This has been so interesting reading peoples replies. I have been guilty of telling someone they need to smile. Actually, they are usually people who have been mean and I saw them pushing someone or glaring at me. It's startling to see such hatred in someone's eyes and my reaction was to tell them to smile b/c then the hatred might leave their face.

[pigeon toe]

Definitely so true about the "Bettier-than-thou" thing! Unfortunately, I find myself doing little more than a 2 second, tentative smile when I'm around other vintage women, usually because I'm intimidated when I see that they aren't smiling back.

The best is when they try their hardest to ignore you. They'll look in everyone else's direction but yours. They act like seeing vintage clothes on another woman will turn them to stone! It's definitely a strange feeling sometimes, I'm not very used to such female competitiveness.

[Paisley]

We aren't perfect at discerning others' expressions. I read awhile back that young people often mistake fear for anger. The person who is yukking it up may be compensating for something else.

When I was much younger, I got really tired of continually hearing, "Smile!" "Cheer up!" "It can't be that bad!" and "Why are you so sad?" I can say from experience these are not good conversation starters. It really might be that bad, or the person may not be sad at all. (If they are, you might hear more about it than you bargained for.)

On the other hand, yes, there is a big difference between a neutral expression and a scowl. The latter is what I usually see on middle-aged to old women who go to dances. I'm sure they wonder why nobody asks them to dance.

[Mojito]

I enjoy being around people who smile warmly, often and sincerely. I also do try to consciously follow the advice to smile before you answer the phone (it will be conveyed in your voice), and when I'm in a social setting I try not to lapse into my habitual expression.

Unfortunately, I'm naturally quite an introverted person, and this - judging from a lifetime of comments strangers have felt justified in making to me - seems to result in a pensive or even sad default expression.

I've been walking along the street perfectly content but deep in thought, when people approaching from the opposite direction have directed me to "smile!" or "cheer up - it can't be that bad". Once, stopped while on foot at the crossing lights, a care pulled up alongside and the occupant leaned out to say "Smile, Love - it might never happen!"

The irony is that on several occasions when this has happened I've been in an extremely good mood - just very deep in thought. The introspection seems to give me a grim expression!

When actively engaged in what is going on around me it is different - indeed, when I've lapsed into the usual introspective mode around friends, I've had some ask in concern what the matter is, as "you're not your usual vivacious self!" I have to explain that there's nothing at all wrong - I'm living in my head for a while.

[Paisley]

Yes, people can look serious when they are deep in thought. A few months ago, my best friend and I were at a club. From her expression, I'd have bet the rent money that she was having a lousy time--and I've known her for six years. But she said she was enjoying herself. (When she hasn't enjoyed herself somewhere, she has said so.) She's also gotten the "smile!" comments throughout her life.

When I want to know a person's mood, I listen to their voice.

On the other hand, I agree that there is a time and place to put on your game face. And I admire those who seem to have a perpetually sunny mood. But some of us just aren't of that bent.

[Molly O'Star]

seems to result in a pensive or even sad default expression.

Oh, that's the story of my life. I get told to "smile" all the time. I make a big effort, when I'm out, to smile, because I know that changes the way people will react to me.

But, when I'm reading, or working at my desk, I'm really not interested in what everyone else thinks. I have a heavy brow and my "resting face" comes out as sort of a frown. Not that anything's wrong - I'm just concentrating! It does seem to throw people off a bit, though.

My friend Laurel is the only one who has ever really understood as she has an angry/sad/frowning "resting face," too. She always tells people (especially men!), "If Molly, is smiling, she's happy and if she's frowning, she's listening. If she's not happy, she'll tell you."

[Tough Cookie]

I smile plenty enough when not preoccupied.

I do have to say that I do get rather annoyed when commanded to smile while working. I'm usually juggling several things in my head, trying to remember to do three other things when I'm finished, and gosh darn it, I'm concentrating! Too bad if I'm not being eye candy enough for passers-by ( at my cube).

I also have to point out that men would *never* tell another man to "Smile!", at least I've never witnessed it. So why is it acceptable to walk up to a woman you don't even know and issue the command?


("I think I will smile now, thanks! I'm you're bosses' boss, and I just figured out who gets the smallest pay raise this year. :D Wow, you're right, I *do* feel better!")

[mysterygal]

I'm not necessarily the kind of person who's always walking around with a smile...I tend to be a 'thinker'...if I'm not in conversation with someone, then I'm probaby thinking of errands, house chores, the kids, ect...which tends to bring about the 'concentration/frown' face...and I agree, it really pisses me off when someone say's 'smile!' or worse, 'turn that frown upside down' yeah, I do a mental slap of that person's face.
In social settings, I've worked hard on making sure that there is a smile planted on. I've found that since I find other's more approachable with a happy face, so why wouldn't I?

[rachw182]

A smile can be enough to change a person's day, even if they don't know you.
I'm always smiling, it must just be my personalitiy.

[Miss 1929]

There are the odd madmen who think it wrong to smile!

Back when I was managing a vintage store, one day a man walked in, I said the usual, "hi, let me know if you need any help" and he said
"I want to see the manager."
"I am the manager, how may I help you?"
"Then I want to see someone else!"
So I turned to my (highly amused) co-worker and said, "perhaps you can handle this?"
I went to the opposite end of the very small shop, and overheard:
"Yes, sir, what can I do for you?"
"Make her stop smiling at me!"

Okay? Isn't that just plain weird? Ah, the joys of working with the public.

[Lillemor]

I don't like to dictate to other people what they should do because I don't take well to being told what to do but I'm a naturally very smiley person. I can't help that I usually nod and smile at people.....even when I was in Londonlol

[Lillemor]

There are the odd madmen who think it wrong to smile!

Back when I was managing a vintage store, one day a man walked in, I said the usual, "hi, let me know if you need any help" and he said
"I want to see the manager."
"I am the manager, how may I help you?"
"Then I want to see someone else!"
So I turned to my (highly amused) co-worker and said, "perhaps you can handle this?"
I went to the opposite end of the very small shop, and overheard:
"Yes, sir, what can I do for you?"
"Make her stop smiling at me!"

Okay? Isn't that just plain weird? Ah, the joys of working with the public.

Oh, I've upset people too by being too friendly and smiling when I worked at KFC for a while. I'm not fake, that's just the way I usually am and I won't change!

I do feel it's the most polite thing to smile at people, especially in smaller towns or when there aren't that many people around. I definitely smile if I make eye contact with someone but some do take it all wrong.

Some ladies will clutch their handbags close and nearly break into a run. Some men mistake a smile with flirting. That makes me feel self conscious. Being polite and of a sunny disposition shouldn't make one self conscious.

[lillielil]

I smile all the time in real life, but I turn it off in pictures. One of my eyes squints a whole lot more than the other when I smile, and it always makes me dislike otherwise good photos. It's too bad, really, because I love my teeth.