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View Full Version : wearing a fedora to a wedding. Etiquette.




























vespasian
01-12-2006, 12:36 PM
First big question is should a guy wear a smart hat to a wedding where the groom and male entourage do not? Does it show bad form for a guy to turn up and possibly by the addition of that hat draw attention from the groom?

I'm talking a summer(well for the UK) wedding, so likely not to be meditteranean hot.

Generally speaking here women do not wear hats any more to weddings, though a few persist.

Biltmore Bob
01-12-2006, 12:44 PM
If a hat is as much a part of you as it is me, you'll look out of place without one.

Be like me and just do whatever the heck you want. I wear my hats at outdoor weddings and to funerals. I was a Pall Bearer at my Mother in Laws funeral two years ago and I was the only gentleman with a wearing a hat. I received nothing but complements. Of course I only wore it outside the Funeral Home and at the graveside.

Baron Kurtz
01-12-2006, 12:53 PM
I wouldn't worry about it. If the groom is anything like me on my wedding day (:beer: ), he wont even realise you're there. Hes not there for attention anyway.

bk

WEEGEE
01-12-2006, 01:42 PM
As-- Biltmore Bob said "If a hat is as much a part of you as it is me, you'll look out of place without one."

Yes, i think if you are invited...your hat is as well.

I am a photojournalist...go alot of places in my hats. I do photograph a couple of weddings a year and i do ask the clients ahead of time and
they always are pleased that i would dress well for thier special day.

GateXC
01-12-2006, 02:17 PM
This past summer I went to a wedding up in northern New Hampshire where it was actually pretty hot so I packed my Hardy Aimes linen suit and my Borsalino straw hat. Wore them both to the church, outside the church, and to the reception. Got a couple quizzical looks, lots of compliments, and took nothing away from my buddy who was getting married.

Wear the hat.

photobyalan
01-12-2006, 02:28 PM
I vote for the hat. Just take it off for the ceremony and for dinner, if there is one. Last wedding we went to, I left the lid in the car at the reception because they did not have any sort of hat check and I didn't want to lose it or get it ruined. Keeping it on my head was not an option because I refuse to wear a hat at a sit-down dinner.

Kaleponi Craig
01-12-2006, 03:11 PM
Depends on the groom, but I don't think it would be a problem. I wore my Panama fedora to a wedding last summer and the groom certainly didn't seem to mind. Since we ate outside in the full sun, a couple of guys told me they wish they'd have brought their lids...KC

Baron Kurtz
01-12-2006, 03:11 PM
Depending upon how religious the bride/groom are you might want to take the hat off inside the church building. My grandmother would have gone mad if id worn a fedora inside a church. If it's not too religious a gathering they may not care ...

bk

Biltmore Bob
01-12-2006, 03:18 PM
Hat in church? Not for men. Hat in Courthouse, not for anybody...

budward
01-12-2006, 03:52 PM
I say wear the hat. You shouldn't be on par with the groom in terms of formality unless you wear a top hat, and therefore shouldn't show him up. I'm assuming he'll wear a tuxedo, and I don't think a fedora works with that, so you and he will be dressed on different levels of formality. But I already said that. Were you a groomsman, you might want to give the hat a rest. My $.02.

Bud

Kent Canary
01-12-2006, 04:03 PM
I bought my hat specifically for a wedding. A couple of others had great oloking hats too, and wore them inside the ceremony, though I chose to take mine off inside the registry office but not inside the hall beforehand.

Others wore their hats inside the ceremony but Ive always been taught (I say 'taught') to take my hat off indoors (mainly Boys Brigade before going into Church). Although this wedding was a civil ceremony I felt comfortable wearing it up until we went inside for the service. Then it was time to take it off.

I think you'll know what to do and when, I wouldnt worry about upstaging anyone.

vespasian
01-12-2006, 04:41 PM
Wearing it in the church would not be an option for me, definately comes off.

Andykev
01-12-2006, 05:47 PM
Don't wear it in the church or during the ceremony if outdoors, remove it out of respect. Outside, you should wear your hat, if part of your look. I went to a nice wedding a couple of summers ago at the University of Santa Clara. Nice place, with outside tables with umbrellas, and an inside dance hall. There was a nice young man wearing a beautiful Panama hat, and we immediatly had something to discuss. He looked "well dressed" in his suit, tie, and hat. Kind of a summer formal look. No one had anything bad to say. Now if you wore a baseball cap.......:rage:

vespasian
01-12-2006, 06:38 PM
Baseball caps are for sports. End of.:rolleyes:

tonyb
01-12-2006, 08:55 PM
Attended an outdoor wedding on a scorching day last summer (yes, it gets quite hot over on the dry side of the Cascades). Wore a nice straw to the event but removed it during the ceremony. I don't think, though, that it would have been such a faux pas had I left it on, seeing how half the men in attendance were either not in their suit jackets (or sports jackets) while the ceremony was in progress, or came without neckties. Didn't bother me any, but still, I was one of only two men there wearing hats, and removing mine during the "solemn" part of the proceedings seemed most appropriate.

photobyalan
01-12-2006, 09:05 PM
Outdoors is different. My feeling is that, outdoors, you only need to remove your hat when the national anthem is played or when a color guard passes. It's also respectful to remove your hat when a funeral procession passes and when speaking to a lady. Other than that, I think you can leave it on when outdoors,even during a marriage ceremony or while eating the fanciest dinner.

Solid Citizen
01-12-2006, 09:09 PM
Attended a wedding last year where the groom showed up during the reception sporting a fedora. Nice lid , but just looked out of place, so glad I showed up without a lid.

Peter :rolleyes:

vespasian
01-12-2006, 09:27 PM
And yet if you had taken your hat with you he would not have looked half as out of place as he did. Got to be carefull not to run with the flock just because its easy. Anyone ever remember a particular sheep? Plus its a bit like thinking the bride looked odd in a veil because no-one else was wearing one, I would think that of all the men there the one looking least odd for being different would be the groom. Thank god he didnt bleat and wear a wool coat. But I follow your thinking Peter, it feels odd to be different, but for me it feels odd in a good way.

Doh!
01-13-2006, 02:20 AM
I went to an outdoor wedding last summer, but days before the event I asked the groom if the venue was in the shade. He assured me that it was, so I left my panama at home.

My ears are still sunburned.

Michaelson
01-13-2006, 07:45 AM
I agree with Andy. I wore my custom gray AB to my eldest daughters wedding. I wore it to the reception, but took it off using the proper hat ediquette. Had nothing but positive comments regarding how smart the hat made me and my 3 piece suit look....and I need all the compliments I can get. ;)

Regards! Michaelson

Hemingway Jones
01-13-2006, 08:10 AM
Good general wedding etiquette is not to do anything that will detract from the appropiate attention due the bride and groom. ;)

Michaelson
01-13-2006, 08:15 AM
Really? Whoops. Maybe that's why the daughter won't talk to me much now.:rolleyes: ;)

Regards! Michaelson

Hemingway Jones
01-13-2006, 08:28 AM
Really? Whoops. Maybe that's why the daughter won't talk to me much now.:rolleyes: ;)

Regards! Michaelson
I find that hard to believe! Falling over drunk into the wedding cake is discouraged, however.

Michaelson
01-13-2006, 08:34 AM
Oh. You heard about that, huh?:beer: ;)

Regards! Michaelson

vespasian
01-13-2006, 08:39 AM
Good general wedding etiquette is not to do anything that will detract from the appropiate attention due the bride and groom. ;)

Difficult to do anything but with male attire nowadays. Grooms generally just wear a suit and tie. I generally prefer quite decent suits but some grooms will be less well dressed just because they chose a different style or a less costly and fitting suit, or their tie is less garish.