Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 24

Thread: Ettiquete: Men and Bridal Showers.

  1. #1
    Call Me a Cab MrNewportCustom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Outer Los Angeles
    Posts
    2,272

    Ettiquete: Men and Bridal Showers.

    Pardon the intrusion, Ladies, but I have some questions:

    My younger brother is getting married next month (and again in October - to the same woman, of course) and yesterday he called to invite me to his bride-to-be's shower - TODAY. It didn't feel right to me, but I said I'd attend. This morning, though, I decided not to for two reasons:

    1. Traditionally, a bridal shower is for the bride and her female friends. The men have a their own party.

    2. I feel that less than twenty-four hours between invite and party isn't enough time, not to mention it made me feel like an afterthought.

    I called my brother (had to leave a message - he didn't answer) and told him I wasn't going and why, and also told him I'd be happy to go to his bachelor party, given adequate notice (I didn't tell him the late invite made me feel like an afterthought).

    Here are my questions:
    Am I wrong for saying I'd attend, and then, eighteen hours later (and four hours before the shower) telling him I'm not?

    Are my two reasons valid?


    Thank you,
    Lee
    _______________________________

    My eighteen hours in a Quandary, and how they grew.
    .
    Courtesy: Consideration for the well-being of those around you, and the plans you make with them.

  2. #2
    Bartender Lady Day's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Crummy town, USA
    Posts
    8,987
    They could be doing those new co-ed deals, men and women a t both parties. The fellas party being mini gold or go carting or fishing instead of the stripper.

    Yeah, 24 hrs is a bit too short notice. These things generally have invites and RSVP lists and 'save the date cards'. But if it IS one of those new co-ed thinggies, they may be forgoing all that 'traditional' stuff.

    I wouldnt have gone. Its independence day. How could I have gotten a gift together in such few hours. And you dont wanna be around a bunch of crazy ladies drunk and singing loudly....well, maybe you do

    LD

  3. #3
    One Too Many GWD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Evergreen, Co
    Posts
    1,631

    Good for You!

    Number 1, you're right, 24 hours notice is ridiculous I bet invitations were sent out at least a month ago.

    Number 2, Men don't belong at "Bridal" Showers. Why do women insist on emasculating men today? Or is it a way for the future bride to get more gifts by inviting more people?

    Number 3, Men don't belong at "Bridal" Showers!!!!!!
    ≍≋≈ᴳᵂᴰ≈≋≍

  4. #4
    My Mail is Forwarded Here BegintheBeguine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Rochester, NY originally from Atlanta, Georgia
    Posts
    3,488
    This is weird. It's a bridal shower and not a bachelorette party, right? So the guys don't in fact have their own version of a bridal shower. The shower is given by her friends, so why did your brother call you? If it's a co-ed shower then you should have already gotten an invitation for you and your date, if applicable. I would've done the same thing, at first saying yeah, sure, and then thinking about it and changing my mind. Because the whole thing is weird. When I went to a co-ed shower (20 years ago, but still) as the best man's date, we already knew what items the bride wanted (I picked out a lovely ice bucket, and it wasn't easy to find just the right one). So it sounds like you were an afterthought, which is never fun. Don't feel guilty for changing your mind. You should've been first on the list.
    The bridal shower is unabashedly about gifts. You weren't given enough time, so you decided not to go.
    "Revenge is the best way to get even." Archie Bunker

  5. #5
    I'll Lock Up
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    The land of Sinatra, Hoboken
    Posts
    6,621
    Quote Originally Posted by GWD
    Number 1, you're right, 24 hours notice is ridiculous I bet invitations were sent out at least a month ago.

    Number 2, Men don't belong at "Bridal" Showers. Why do women insist on emasculating men today? Or is it a way for the future bride to get more gifts by inviting more people?

    Number 3, Men don't belong at "Bridal" Showers!!!!!!

    Since it was his -Brother- asking......please do not jump to some assumption that 'all women insist on emasculating men today' nonsense, when in this case it does not fit the situation in the slightest.

    Clearly this is a case of the entire thing not really being a 'shower' in the traditional sense but rather a 'felicitations on your upcoming nuptuals party'...for which there is not a term and so people use 'shower'.

    And trust me...-most- women get frilly naughties at their bridal shower and don't want you there either, emasculated or not
    They say ignorance is bliss, but it really just means you failed to learn.

  6. #6
    I'll Lock Up KittyT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Boston, MA
    Posts
    4,466
    I think the fact that men don't belong at bridal showers is enough reason for you to back out.
    Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Mo, catch a Hepcat by the toe...

  7. #7
    Call Me a Cab MrNewportCustom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Outer Los Angeles
    Posts
    2,272
    For the record: My brother asked me because she told him to. I know this, because he told me.

    She's not one to emasculate men, but she's certainly one who likes to bend people to her whims. I wanted to date her long before they even met, but she didn't want to date me because I was, in her words, "Too stubborn": She couldn't get me to do things I didn't want to do, even if I could afford to. That's why I stopped trying to date her. (I eventually came to the conclusion that, if we had started dating, we'd probably come close to blows with the argument we'd have breaking up.)

    But this thread isn't about emasculation or stubbornness or who's dating whom. It's about men at bridal showers (they called it a Bridal Shower, so that's the term I'm using) and, based on the information I provided in the initial post, whether I was right or wrong to turn down the invitation after having accepted it.


    Thank you again,
    Lee
    .
    Courtesy: Consideration for the well-being of those around you, and the plans you make with them.

  8. #8
    One of the Regulars patrick1987's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Rochester
    Posts
    296
    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Neecerie
    Clearly this is a case of the entire thing not really being a 'shower' in the traditional sense but rather a 'felicitations on your upcoming nuptuals party'...for which there is not a term and so people use 'shower'.
    The term is engagement party and it already would have happened.
    You did the right thing, Mr.

  9. #9
    I'll Lock Up
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    The land of Sinatra, Hoboken
    Posts
    6,621
    Quote Originally Posted by patrick1987
    The term is engagement party and it already would have happened.
    You did the right thing, Mr.

    Of course he did the right thing...no argument there..


    But this -would have happened- already nonsense...-assumes- some clue of 'proper behavior and etiquette' of the parties...and other then our lovely poster....no -proof- of such a clued in state has been given...

    Their idea of a 'shower' is co-ed...ours is not. They follow more modern rules...we do not.

    Can argue til the cows come home about what a word -means- to various groups or people...and never reach a consensus on things, because the meaning of words -change- over time...
    They say ignorance is bliss, but it really just means you failed to learn.

  10. #10
    One of the Regulars patrick1987's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Rochester
    Posts
    296
    I was talking about the term. It's not nonsense, it's a timeline and I'm offended. I wasn't talking about the party-givers' intentions.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •