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Thread: Jokes About Hats

  1. #1
    New In Town
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    Jokes About Hats

    Im looking for all jokes about hats. Of course extra points for old school style!

    Incredible extra cool points if its a knock knock joke about bowlers or derbys... anyone up for the challenge?

    Cant wait,
    Paul-y

  2. #2
    One of the Regulars Hereward's Avatar
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    Allow me to start with an offering of mine own (with apologies perhaps):

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Derby

    Derby who?

    Derby bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover...
    'No one knows how ungentlemanly he can look, until he has seen himself in a shocking bad hat.' [R.S. Surtees]

  3. #3
    Call Me a Cab The Good's Avatar
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    Here's a good one I remember seeing when I was reading about the early history of Stetson and his Boss of the Plains hat:

    Perhaps the greatest tribute to Stetson’s remarkable hat was paid by an unknown cowpuncher. According to W. C. Tuttle, a Western author, a man rode into town wearing a derby one Sunday morning. “It was a terrible faux pas,” related Tuttle. “The derby was knocked off his head and cruelly mistreated.” Later, some cowboy picked up the ruined derby and squinted at the imprint on the hatband. “My God!” he gasped. “It says Stetson. I bet it’s a counterfeit. I’d just as soon think of a bow and arrow with the name ‘Colt!’”

    It's from here, for the record: http://www.desertusa.com/mag04/jun/hat.html

    I found this quite amusing!
    Romans 10:9
    Sincerely,
    J.B.

  4. #4
    Practically Family Phineas Lamour's Avatar
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    Found this one online

    There was a little old lady standing at a corner. She had both hands holding her hat on while the wind blew her dress up around her waist.

    A dignified southern gentleman came up and said, "Ma'am, you should be ashamed of yourself, letting your skirt blow around, being indecent, while both hands hold your hat."

    She said, "Look mister, everything down there is seventy years old, this hat is brand new!"

  5. #5
    One of the Regulars 57plymouth's Avatar
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    I have a friend that calls me "The Reporter" every time he sees me since I started wearing fedoras.

  6. #6
    Call Me a Cab The Wolf's Avatar
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    I think I got this from an old Archie comic

    "I just bought a new hat"
    "Fedora?"
    "No, for me."
    rimshot

    Sincerely,
    The Wolf
    Nothing is impossible to the man who won't listen to reason

  7. #7
    One Too Many 150719541's Avatar
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    Some friends ¡¡¡

    Now with all troubles wich are living in México (delincuency, violence and gangs) when I am wearing dark clothes and hat, some friends tell me:
    Are you a mafia boss? because remember the old movies with arists using fedoras.
    any where, any place,be kind with animals, keep on warm walking, smiling and shadowing, life is plenty

  8. #8
    Practically Family
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phineas Lamour
    There was a little old lady standing at a corner. She had both hands holding her hat on while the wind blew her dress up around her waist.

    A dignified southern gentleman came up and said, "Ma'am, you should be ashamed of yourself, letting your skirt blow around, being indecent, while both hands hold your hat."

    She said, "Look mister, everything down there is seventy years old, this hat is brand new!"
    I've never heard that one. Very good.

  9. #9
    One of the Regulars The Lark's Avatar
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    Q - For whom should you always remove your hat?

    A - The barber.

  10. #10
    Call Me a Cab Blackthorn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Lark
    Q - For whom should you always remove your hat?

    A - The barber.
    Great avatar, Lark!

    (sorry, no joke, but I'm enjoying these!)
    You know what the three most exciting sounds in the world are? Anchor chains, plane motors and train whistles......George Bailey

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