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Thread: Regarding Tuxedo Etiquette

  1. #11
    Practically Family AntonAAK's Avatar
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    Of course it is your day and you should wear what you wish. But seeing as you asked.

    Please, please don't wear a dinner jacket in the daytime. It's not just a question of etiquette or snobbishness, it's an aesthetic consideration too. It just looks wrong. Evening clothes are designed to look good in the evening. Black is a very elegant and formal colour which suits an evening setting perfectly but looks out of place in bright sunshine.

    Congratulations on your forthcoming nuptuals, whatever you choose to wear.
    I'm not dressed up. I'm just dressed.

  2. #12
    My Mail is Forwarded Here Flat Foot Floey's Avatar
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    I am just posting this again because it looks good

  3. #13
    Call Me a Cab Nick D's Avatar
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    If you want to wear both, and there is a considerable gap in between the ceremony and the reception during which you would have the time to change, then I would say go for it. If, on the other hand, you will not have the opportunity to change or are unsure if you should then there is no problem with wearing the morning suit at the reception.
    Monocle: This may be worn by (1) good dukes, (2) all Englishmen. No bad man may wear a monocle. ~P. G. Wodehouse

  4. #14
    I'll Lock Up DJH's Avatar
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    We've photographed hundreds of New England weddings and only one has the groom changed between the ceremony and the reception.

    In this case, the wedding was at the summit of Mount Washington and he changed from his military dress uniform to regular clothes to hike down the mountain with the wedding party - the bride hiked in wedding dress!

    So I'd say keeping the same clothes all day is the norm.
    Cheers!
    David - 21st Century Man

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by damienweaver View Post
    Thanks, everyone for all the swift and informative responses. I'm still mulling it over. I always envisioned myself in a tux on my wedding day... and so did my fiance, who is pushing strongly for the monkey suit! I may have no choice at all! Please keep the comments coming.

    Oh, and a point of clarification: by "semi-formal" I'm referring to the classic definition which calls for the plain tuxedo. I realize now that this might be confusing since nowadays we (we Americans, at least) consider tuxes formal.
    Well, as I say, there is the daytime equivalent of a tuxedo/DJ - the stroller, which in the US seems to sit squarely in the semi-formal camp, and has the advantage of being rather more unusual than either the morning coat or, especially, the DJ or informal day suit for weddings, as well as being (to my eye) rather more elegant then a DJ or informal day suit and without the "old-fashioned ness" of the morning coat. A google image search of "stroller suit" throws up a few good pics of the style, should you need to convince the fiance.

    I'd also chat to your wife's dressmaker about the formality of your fiancees' dress (without actually looking at her dress, naturally), and dress to an equivalent level of formality. Remember women's formality is dictated by intuition whereas men's formality is dictated more by "rules", which can add layers of complication to such!

    Alternatively, pull the 21st century card, and say that your clothing is to be as much of a surprise to her as her dress is to be for you. Then turn up on the day wearing clingfilm and strategically placed Smarties...

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  7. #17
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    You'd be well advised to either wear what your lovely bride to be wants you to wear, or wear what is punctiliously correct. It's a wedding; you're the groom; your preferences and wishes have nothing to do with it. Congratulions.

  8. #18
    Incurably Addicted Edward's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cobden View Post
    In the UK (where things are often different), it is considered perfectly acceptable to continue wearing the clothes appropriate to the time the festivities started even if it continues into a time of day when different clothing is required - thus if it's a day time thing and it continues to the evening, you can continue to wear morning dress, and if it starts in the evening and last till the following morning you can remain in evening dress (thus demonstrating to everyone on the way home you go to some awesome parties). The reception (again I'm talking UK rules!) is usually considered to be part of the wedding celebrations and thus, whilst it's more correct to change if it's an evening reception, it is also not incorrect to remain in daywear. If you don't want to change, I'd do the opposite of what you are proposing and stay in morning dress (or, if you want to be more semi-formal, a "stroller" - though I'd say follow the bride's lead regarding formality) for the day. Wearing a dinner jacket at 2 o'clock is more of a faux pas then, in this circumstance, wearing morning dress past 6:30
    Bingo.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chasseur View Post
    My advice would be to pick the outfit you wanted for the ceremony and wear that the whole time rather than changing. At the end of the day its your wedding and you both are setting the dress code.
    Yes. I'm single and don't foresee getting married myself, but I have been involved directly in three different weddings, and based on that experience I would definitely be of the opinion that you have far more with which to concern yourself on the day than you might want already - no point adding another unnecessary variable in there... and that's before you bring in any additional expense in adding an outfit for you both... and what about the rest of the wedding party. Do they all have , or will you need to hire for them, a change for the evening.... and so it goes. If you have a preference for how guests dress, get that in early before people start buying for the day.

    Quote Originally Posted by dhermann1 View Post
    I think I might opt for the classic white trousers and navy blazer look. I have some pics (somewhere . . .) of the wedding of a friend of my mother around 1938. It's a pretty snazzy looking daytime wedding. The bride has a very elegant wedding dress with a pretty long train, and the groom has the blue blazer white trouser thing going on. I believe he's wearing brown and white spectators, as well. Looks very sharp.
    One thing I have noticed in the past couple of years is a return to the lounge suit for men getting married. I prefer formal daywear myself, but that is just that - a preference. If you want to be "vintage correct", a lounge suit or jacket and trousers are certainly a very viable option, as going by the photographs it's what most people did back in the day (as much to do with affordability as anything, I should imagine). Something I have often pondered is whether this means that weddings tended to be less formal back then than they are, on average, now. Bearing in mind that the lounge suit was just regular day to day clothing back in the 30s & 40s, as opposed to being the (relatively speaking) "formal" item is it now.

    Quote Originally Posted by Richard Warren View Post
    You'd be well advised to either wear what your lovely bride to be wants you to wear, or wear what is punctiliously correct. It's a wedding; you're the groom; your preferences and wishes have nothing to do with it. Congratulions.
    It's always the lady's choice, so I hear. Maybe this is where I went wrong....
    If in doubt - overdress.

    Vivienne Westwood

  9. #19
    One of the Regulars damienweaver's Avatar
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    Thanks again, everyone, for all the great feedback! So it seems that it's acceptable for me to remain in the same outfit from mid-afternoon to late-night. But I'm still not clear on what my options are for that outfit: can it be a tuxedo?

  10. #20
    Incurably Addicted Edward's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by damienweaver View Post
    Thanks again, everyone, for all the great feedback! So it seems that it's acceptable for me to remain in the same outfit from mid-afternoon to late-night. But I'm still not clear on what my options are for that outfit: can it be a tuxedo?
    If you want it to be, it can be. It certainly seems, at this distance, that traditional semi-formal evening wear (i.e. black tie) is becoming the defacto catch-all standard for all formal occasions in the US, day and night. Makes me cringe, to be honest, to see black tie worn before 6pm, but... it's your day, your choice.
    If in doubt - overdress.

    Vivienne Westwood

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