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Agony column?

Discussion in 'The Powder Room' started by St. Louis, Apr 28, 2017.

  1. Paisley

    Paisley I'll Lock Up

    I learned what the word "resorption" meant today when I had a root canal.
     
    AmateisGal and LizzieMaine like this.
  2. I'm doing much better.

    The house is on the market and we accepted an offer a bit above asking about 48 hours after the listing was posted. We will see what happens. I've had job training and am in my office. The bed bugged stuff is almost dealt with. And I've decided (for multiple reasons) there's people I'm going to see a LOT LESS.

    To get here, though, I've crashed. I've been having tension headaches (which are getting better) and that really messes me up because I am high risk for brain metatasis, and well, thinking about that doesn't help my stress levels and headaches EITHER.

    I went to the store the other day and treated the kids to stuff while I combed the makeup aisle and I found 2 matte lipsticks I love.

    Thank you all for the kind advice. I'm recognizing that I need to practice better self care and from here on out doing stuff for myself has to be a priority. I even went for a drive the other day (with the kids) and just enjoyed the countryside someplace i had never been (threw the kids snacks and drinks and told them we were going for a drive and to enjoy the scenery and listen to the radio rather than talking to me). With the house up for sale I'm no longer single mothering it and I'm back at work (with the kids in care during the day) so that's given me an outlet. My husband is encouraging me to take a night or two at a local hotel to have a mini-vacation. We'll see.

    One of the things that this has taught us is we have limits, and I'm not sure we can handle another fixer-upper we do ourselves. This is a hard decision we haven't made yet, but with young kids and two demanding jobs (and I run a business on the side) we don't have the time to do things that a DIY place needs.
     
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  3. Urgh. I'm so sorry. But glad you're out. And I am so sorry your daughter doesn't have the father she deserves. That is really difficult, and I'm sorry.
     
    AmateisGal likes this.
  4. ShadyLady

    ShadyLady New in Town

    Hope you all don't mind a new problem thrown in--I'll try to keep it short.
    A little background: I had a large ovarian cyst removed in May, and they ended up taking my right ovary and fallopian tube out, too. They couldn't get a good image (ultrasound) of my left ovary because the cyst was so honkin' huge, so I was told that I might have to have another surgery. Yay. Post-surgery, I seemed to be doing OK so they left my other parts alone. Yay! But. Last month, I started to experience just about every menopausal symptom anyone has ever heard of in the history of time. Turns out my left ovary is failing.
    I feel like I'm losing my mind. Crazy mood swings, anxiety, depression--and the hot flashes! Lord love a duck, NO ONE can describe those adequately. And the worst part is that I'm becoming impatient with my students. I teach English as a second language and I love my job. My "kids" try so hard to learn our wacky language and all they really need is some patience and encouragement. I haven't snapped at anyone, but I'm definitely not doing as well as I should be, and my students are suffering for it.
    So. I'm just wondering how I can get through this without killing someone. I don't even kill bugs, so I'm pretty sure I'd feel bad if I, like, kicked someone to death. I'm taking medication, I've changed my diet and I'm exercising more often. That's helping some, but...I really want to kick someone. I just quit smoking, too.
    Maybe this could all work out, though. Amateis, I could pay a little visit to your heartless jerk of an ex. And Lizzie, I could drop in on your boss...
    That was a joke. This is my sense of humor now.
     
  5. ShadyLady

    ShadyLady New in Town

    Want to add--Amateis, your daughter is going to be fine. She has a strong, stable and loving person in her life--you. The fact that you're here and talking about it (not clinging to his ceiling waiting for him to get home so you can do a pile-driver on his head) shows me that you are an amazing woman and just the role-model that your daughter needs.
     
    AmateisGal and Fading Fast like this.
  6. Having been thru my own endocrine crisis, I hear every word you're saying. HRT has kept me sane over the last fifteen years, so I can strongly empathize with what you're going thru. 2mg of estradiol daily is the very thin edge of a difference for me between being functional, and being arrested.

    It varies with any individual, and if I had one piece of advice it would be this -- don't let your doctor bulldoze you into anything, whether it be changing dosages or discontinuing the meds altogether. The doctor isn't the one experiencing your symptoms, you are -- and only you know what works for you.
     
  7. ShadyLady

    ShadyLady New in Town

    Thank you for not dismissing me as a nut, Lizzie! I'm reluctant to try HRT at this point; I think I've read too much about potential side effects. My regular doc is on vacation now, of course, but I'll be seeing her again in a few weeks. Thing is, she's a youngin'. Not a clue what this is like. Arg. I'll get through it.
    In the meantime, I'll post the dumb*** things I've been doing (like stomping through the apartment yelling "who hid my [censored-censored] keys?!?" when they're in my pocket). Try to make people laugh.
    I really am a relatively normal person. I think.
     
  8. If it's worth anything, the only HRT side effects I've noticed in the last decade and a half is a bit of weight gain -- my heart is fine, my blood pressure is right on the button, and my cholesterol is maybe a few drive-thru stops past where it should be but not crisis-mode. And on the plus side, I haven't killed anyone. Yet.

    The bit with the keys is me all over. The kids at work roll their eyes at it, but I tell them to wait and see what happens when they get old.
     
  9. ShadyLady

    ShadyLady New in Town

    Darn right!
    Yesterday I walked to the mailbox (about two blocks from my place) and realized I'd forgotten to bring the letters I was going to mail. I didn't have my purse with me, so it's not like I just forgot to stick 'em in there. I didn't realize that didn't have the letters in my hand for the whole two ding-dong blocks. Oh, well. At least it wasn't raining.
    I don't want to hijack this thread; I'm feeling somewhat OK today. I'll share some great advice that my grandmother gave to me: "Nobody's perfect and you don't always have to be strong". Also: "Do your best to avoid the a-holes".
     
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  10. AmateisGal

    AmateisGal I'll Lock Up

    Thank you. I have my bad days, but overall, I'm doing better.

    Thank you, ShadyLady! My daughter and I have grown immensely closer over the past six months. And my stupid ex-husband is just that - STUPID - for not making her a priority in his life. It is completely his loss.
     
  11. AmateisGal

    AmateisGal I'll Lock Up

    Oh wow - I so know what you're going through! I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and in 2009, I had a cyst burst on my right ovary. The pain wouldn't go away, so I had surgery and they had to remove it because, as my doctor said, it was toast. Fast forward to 2010 (after more cysts on the remaining ovary) and I had a pap smear come back as pre-cancerous. So I elected to have a hysterectomy, but I left the left ovary so I wouldn't go into menopause. Fast forward to 2013 and we had to take out the left ovary!

    Long story short, I am on a very, very low dose of HRT because my body doesn't tolerate it well. I am on a half a milligram of estradiol. One milligram gave me symptoms. I'm still taking Metformin for the PCOS because it is a metabolic disorder, so even though I have no ovaries left, I still get symptoms.

    I had hot flashes for awhile, and then they went away, but I've noticed that I'm getting them more and more this year which is weird because I'm now post-menopausal.

    Maybe try a little bit of HRT and see how you do?
     
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  12. AmateisGal

    AmateisGal I'll Lock Up

    I'm so glad things are going better for you! And I've had to really learn about self-care in the past six months. I spent so much of my energy on my marriage and dealing with my ex-husband that I was just like a wrung out washcloth - there wasn't much left of me most days. Now I go out with friends and make it a point to do things for ME that I want to do. I encourage you to do the same. And I love the idea of just going out for a drive - I should do that. I remember when I was young, my parents used to go for drives on Sundays and I'd tag along. Funny how I was so bored then, but now? I would totally do it!
     
    St. Louis likes this.
  13. St. Louis

    St. Louis Practically Family

    Do any of you fine ladies get a case of the holiday blues? What do you do to stave them off? Asking for a friend.
     
  14. I deeply hate this time of year. Pretty much everything bad that has ever happened to me has happened in December or January, and basically all I can do to avoid thinking the blackest of black thoughts is spend as much time as I can asleep. I go to bed as soon as I get home from work and I stay there until the last possible moment up to where I absolutely have to get up. If I could hibernate until March, I would.

    If anything helps at all, it's trying to get as much light as I possibly can -- either sunlight, which is not likely at this time of year, or by turning on all the lights in the house when I'm not in bed. It runs up the electric bill, but it does seem to help a bit.
     
    St. Louis likes this.
  15. AmateisGal

    AmateisGal I'll Lock Up

    I'm hoping to totally immerse myself in holiday activities and spend time with friends & family. I found out that my ex-husband's affair started in December last year, so that is weighing a bit on me. The marriage blew up in January (though I didn't find out about the affair until late February).

    I usually love this time of year. I know a lot of people struggle with it and I'm so sorry. I guess my advice is to do a lot of self-care. Do things that make you happy and make you feel fulfilled and content. Doesn't matter if it's small or large. And give yourself permission to feel those feelings, too. It's okay not to go to the holiday parties or be full of cheer. Start a new tradition or do something totally out of the box just for you.
     
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  16. Paisley

    Paisley I'll Lock Up

    I had a meetup for Thanksgiving and it was really nice. A few of us got together at a restaurant. Last year, I spent my first Thanksgiving on my own, and it sucked.

    Today I volunteered to plant trees--it was great to get out in the fresh air and sunshine and do something.
     
    St. Louis likes this.
  17. St. Louis

    St. Louis Practically Family

    Thank you all for the excellent suggestions. I like the idea of planting trees! I just put in some tulip bulbs, since it's still quite warm here in St. Louis (it'll be 67 degrees today.) I might run out & get some more.

    It's this combination of dark mornings and dark evenings with the fact that I have no family living within 1300 miles of here. I can't do much about that, since traveling over the holidays tends to be so stressful & expensive, but maybe I can take this time to see some sights & museums. Those are outings for which I never have time during the school year.
     
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