dear new neighbor

HarpPlayerGene · Sep 10, 2010

One other thing, HepKitty; although there are usually no quick solutions it has been my experience that losers like these come - and go. Your job is to manage your best and outlast them. If you conceive of it as a contest or a 'war' then understand there will be setbacks and you won't win every engagement but concentrate on the long term 'win' and you'll achieve it when they stiff the landlord and sneak off one weekend to bother someone else across town.

Talbot · Sep 10, 2010

Mav said:
A .22 is dandy for shooting out headlights, as well as creating an irrepairable hole in a radiator.

Ahh, the good neighbor game:

Have a couple of cubic yards of stones delivered to his front yard

Raw rice in the radiator

Grinding paste in the oil filler cap,

Grinding paste in the diff (only if you don't mind endangering innocents),

If you are going to shoot the car, a waxed 12 ga should go through one door and out the other (you want a good strong breech on your weapon).

Nice effect.

T

Diamondback · Sep 10, 2010

Recommended reading will follow by email, HK. You might find some worthwhile references in the Paladin Press catalog, as well.

Purely "For Entertainment Purposes Only", of course...

Also, you might like some of the stuff at this link: http://www.ekran.no/html/revenge/ (Again, purely for theoretical discussion only.

)

Lola Getz · Sep 10, 2010

Oh HK, I feel your pain.

2 years ago, a drug dealer and her children moved in next door. After calls to Code Enforcement (for the couches left on my property--why do all these people have surplus couches?), CPS (for the verbal abuse I heard daily) and the police for the never-ending parade of "customers" stopping to buy a little something something, they were finally evicted last month.

What got them out? The landlord finally visited and saw the destruction of property. If you can find out who owns it (tax assessors office maybe?), contact them and hopefully they will take action.

Although, Gene's idea about rubbing dog feces all over the dog had me in stitches...

Best of luck! The neighborhood becomes so pleasant after people like this leave!

Diamondback · Sep 10, 2010

Mothballs in the gas-tank always used to be fun, too. I seem to recall a case where the avenger mothballed the tank to trash the engine twice, then sugared it so it'd look like the target was scamming his insurance company... the insurance company didn't like their now-ex-policyholder very much after that one.lol

Dewhurst · Sep 10, 2010

Aww, I feel your pain. But... everything seems so... familiar...

OH RIGHT, that's because I live in an apartment complex and I am surrounded by people of this ... sort...

My favorite are the ones who take their dogs to go to the restroom (re: outdoors, for those who don't know) right around the sidewalk/my car!!! Which is on the opposite side of the parking lot from where they live. Well, how convenient for them! And who would have thought!

We also have height limitations on dogs: 12 inches. You know how many people have 12 inch dogs around here? About negative 3.

Tomasso · Sep 10, 2010

Diamondback.......Jason Bourne on a keyboard.....

Diamondback · Sep 10, 2010

Ahh, but remember the First Rule of Fight Club? Haydukery works the same way... if I had actually done anything beyond academic study, no way in Hell would I admit to it.

I've seen many would-be dirty tricksters get caught out because they got too cocky, too smug, too self-satisfied and couldn't resist the urge to brag--"loose lips sink ships" and all that.

BinkieBaumont · Sep 10, 2010

Tomasso said:
But nowhere faster than reporting a policeman down. You wanna see cops in action!

"Here in The Swan River Colony, I am reliably informed that if you need the Police Pronto, call the Fire Brigade and tell them your house is on fire, the police are always the first on the scene at a fire"

Talbot · Sep 10, 2010

Diamondback said:
Mothballs in the gas-tank always used to be fun, too. I seem to recall a case where the avenger mothballed the tank to trash the engine twice, then sugared it so it'd look like the target was scamming his insurance company... the insurance company didn't like their now-ex-policyholder very much after that one.lol

'Friend' of yours did this, right?

Cobden · Sep 10, 2010

Speak to your landylord/lady first, but a strategically large hole dug at night in the yard, and covered with netting and turf over the top, should render any vehicular incursions a particular troublesome affair for the driver...

Alternatively, Calthrops. You could even have one of those diamond shaped signs stuck in your lawn with "This Property is Protected by Calthrops", to mitigate any accusations of not giving any warning. The chances of them not ever having come across the word Calthrops or assuming it's the name of a security company is quite high, one would imagine

BoPeep · Sep 10, 2010

Oh how this thread gives one ideas . . . . I'm partial to nail strips. I would agree that these folks won't last. Ride it out HepKitty and let us know what happens!

Neophyte · Sep 10, 2010

HarpPlayerGene said:
Love guns - great tools. Really dislike the suggestions to use them illegally and irresponsibly. Just me.

-----------------------

Here's some advice. Get friendly with the dog. Here's why:

My brother once had a situation like this. He asked them nicely to keep the dog from making piles on his lawn and they said sorry, but basically 'too bad', and just shrugged it off letting it continue. So, being a friendly animal, the pooch didn't mind a bit when my bro' wore big rubber gloves and rubbed handfuls of the excrement all over his furry body (the dog's not my brother's ). When the dog ran back inside his own residence the note pinned to his collar read, "I'M SORRY BUT MY YARD SH*T ON YOUR DOG."

That was absolutely AMAZING lol.

:arated:

Yeps · Sep 10, 2010

Cobden said:
Speak to your landylord/lady first, but a strategically large hole dug at night in the yard, and covered with netting and turf over the top, should render any vehicular incursions a particular troublesome affair for the driver...

Alternatively, Calthrops. You could even have one of those diamond shaped signs stuck in your lawn with "This Property is Protected by Calthrops", to mitigate any accusations of not giving any warning. The chances of them not ever having come across the word Calthrops or assuming it's the name of a security company is quite high, one would imagine

I like this plan.

Miss Neecerie · Sep 10, 2010

While all this revenge and so forth sounds nice....

Since you are siccing the police etc on them...you really do not want to have done anything even remotely unlawful towards them....lest it become a 'well she did this...' fight between them you and each side trying to get the police to pick their side of the story.

Yes, it might take longer to approach it all without guns or weapons or smearing excrement on someone elses property.....but at least you won't find yourself in the jail cell next to theirs...when they decide to press charges.

xequar · Sep 10, 2010

Lola Getz said:
Oh HK, I feel your pain.

2 years ago, a drug dealer and her children moved in next door. After calls to Code Enforcement (for the couches left on my property--why do all these people have surplus couches?), CPS (for the verbal abuse I heard daily) and the police for the never-ending parade of "customers" stopping to buy a little something something, they were finally evicted last month.

What got them out? The landlord finally visited and saw the destruction of property. If you can find out who owns it (tax assessors office maybe?), contact them and hopefully they will take action.

Although, Gene's idea about rubbing dog feces all over the dog had me in stitches...

Best of luck! The neighborhood becomes so pleasant after people like this leave!

^^This. Call the city or county and find out who owns the place and who's paying the taxes, then contact those parties and advise them what's going on with the property.

EDIT: Also, don't do anything illegal, and start documenting everything in case the neighbours accidentially have two brain cells fire simultaneously and decide to try legal schenannigans on you.

Although, I do LOVE some of the suggestions here! My addition: Next time they park on your yard, call a tow truck and have the car towed. It's your property, so it's your right to do it, and you can't be held responsible if the tow company messes up the car. When I was a kid, and before things got silly with everyone suing everyone, my grandpa had a spot in which he liked to park as well as a big tractor (the joys of being a farmer). People who parked where my grandpa didn't want them to be parked would find their car had been conveniently relocated...into the middle of the muddiest plowed field he could find.

HoundstoothLuke · Sep 10, 2010

Next time they park on your lawn, or walk their dog over, this is the way to greet the

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NelBNtNm8l0

1961MJS · Sep 10, 2010

Redneck Experience

Hi

Being in Idaho, I'm guessing you're surrounded by cowboys (i.e. same red neck, different hat). The easiest and most successful way to get rid of something you don't want in your yard is to put a for sale sign on it for a VERY low amount. Since it's worth something, someone will now STEAL it for you.

Put FREE on the couch, it will be there next year this time.

Put $25 on the couch, it will be gone in the morning. 99.9% of those acquiring items in this manner don't dump them where they got them. Personally I got rid of an old mower (worked) and a few chairs that way in Decatur AL back in the 1990's when we moved here.

While putting holes in their tires sounds fun, what I've found is even more fun is to just press the valve stem in until the tires (at least two) are totally flat. Watching someone use dishwashing detergent to find the "hole" in the tube or tire is a REALLY REALLY fun way to spend an hour or so on a Sunday Morning...

Have fun Hep

Later

LizzieMaine · Sep 10, 2010

There's no need for any junior-high level pranking. If someone parks a car on your lawn and doesn't move it when asked nicely, just call the nearest garage, have them tow it away, and send the neighbors the bill and the address where they can pick it up. All perfectly legal, and you maintain your dignity at the same time.

I've lived on a street with drug dealers on either side of me. The worst thing you can do is get into an "I'm badder than you are" contest. Because you *aren't* badder than they are. (One of the dealers was eventually arrested for killing a fellow dealer and throwing him into a water filled quarry with a couple of wheel rims tied around his neck.)

HepKitty · Sep 10, 2010

Lola Getz said:
Oh HK, I feel your pain.

2 years ago, a drug dealer and her children moved in next door. After calls to Code Enforcement (for the couches left on my property--why do all these people have surplus couches?), CPS (for the verbal abuse I heard daily) and the police for the never-ending parade of "customers" stopping to buy a little something something, they were finally evicted last month.

What got them out? The landlord finally visited and saw the destruction of property. If you can find out who owns it (tax assessors office maybe?), contact them and hopefully they will take action.

Although, Gene's idea about rubbing dog feces all over the dog had me in stitches...

Best of luck! The neighborhood becomes so pleasant after people like this leave!

a drug dealer and HER children??? come on ladies there has to be a better way of supporting your kids than that!

the landlord will be notified. maybe already has, considering there was a truck full of mattresses at the back door this a m when I left for work

yes the yard toilet problem cracked me up too, but I'd have to be pretty desperate to try it as I'm quite squeamish and a really big wuss. it's a nice dog though, I almost feel bad that she outclasses her owner. no wait never mind I don't feel bad

lol hilarious ideas, I love the one about the rice in the radiator, and deflating the tires. you know I even have that little tool to pull the stems to make the job faster...

thanks for the ideas, if not realistic in my case, certainly good for laughs!

dear new neighbor

I'll Lock Up

One Too Many

I'll Lock Up

One of the Regulars

I'll Lock Up

Practically Family

Incurably Addicted

I'll Lock Up

Rude Once Too Often

One Too Many

Practically Family

Practically Family

My Mail is Forwarded Here

Call Me a Cab

I'll Lock Up

New in Town

Familiar Face

My Mail is Forwarded Here

One Too Many

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