Theater Evening Attire

Going to see Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker with a very pretty young lass. Going to make a night of it, dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe a nice hotel room in the city so we don't have to commute home late at night, the whole nine yards. Is such an event tux-worthy, or is that "over dressed"? I'm definitely going to wear a suit if nothing else, but I was hoping for an excuse to break out the tux. What do you fine lords, ladies, and gentlemen think?

No reason why you shouldn't, so long as you feel comfortable in it. Wearing a tux to the theater is acceptable.

If you have bad eyesight (or just want a better view of the show), and go to the theater often enough, you might want to buy a pair of theater-glasses.

You must ask one question: What is she going to wear? If she is going to be dressed casually, then she might feel uncomfortable with you dressed formally. But if she is going to dress up .... then you've got to keep pace with her.

Good luck.

Semiformal or casual, suit or not, if you can get them and think you'll use them often enough, invest in some nice theatre-glasses. They'll go with whatever you pick

Two Types said:

You must ask one question: What is she going to wear? If she is going to be dressed casually, then she might feel uncomfortable with you dressed formally. But if she is going to dress up .... then you've got to keep pace with her.

Good luck.

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I agree here. I would love to get out a tux for certain events, but my wife prefers more casual dress, so I usually end up wearing nice slacks and a blazer, and sometimes just far enough to get out a suit. Regardless of what I want to wear, it's better to look good together than to look overdressed and separate.

As a lady piping in here, I must disagree. Us gals LOVE seeing a man tux-ed out, and we very much enjoy any opportunity to dress-up! Bring on the tux, baby! Let her know NOW (well ahead of the date) that you would like to wear your tux for this, and wouldn't it be fun to make a dressy occasion out the evening. It is NOT unacceptable to ask her to dress up also, in like fashion.

If need be offer to go shopping with her, and say you'd love to have her model some long gowns-just for fun!

When I first met my now ex- for our second date he asked me, "Do you happen to have an evening gown?" We went to the opera in SF, and he rented a tux. I wore in a very fitted full length sequined and jeweled gown with long white gloves and a white boa- all of which I already had in my wardrobe!

To badly misquote Nick and Nora:
Nick: Have you got an evening gown?
Nora: I've got a lulu. What's up?


btw, as a many years social ballroom dancer, I have over a dozen jeweled, beaded, and/or sequined full length gowns, and several evening separates pieces that I have worn to the symphony, dances, new year's, theaters, etc. -pick an occasion!

I always say: "Any excuse to dress up, I'll find it. If not, I'll make one!"

After my bf wondering again and again that if he (finally) bought a tuxedo, where would he find a place to wear one... he very recently ended up buying two vintage tuxedos- one is midnight blue-fabulous! He'll be wearing it this Saturday. Then there is a Xmas theme formal dance in December, and a New Year's Eve dance event we're already planning for. Heck, his family members are invited over for Thanksgiving Dinner, I may suggest that we 'dress for dinner'- ala' Downton Abbey!

My vintage dealer showed us a sneak peek at a set of vintage tails (dancing tails) for him to try on the other day- shhh... that may be a present from Santa!

Two Types said:

You must ask one question: What is she going to wear? If she is going to be dressed casually, then she might feel uncomfortable with you dressed formally. But if she is going to dress up .... then you've got to keep pace with her.

Good luck.

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Go with the tux. You'll both feel glamorous as hell, and get looks. Enjoy.

ChanteuseCarey,
I have to thank you for your post, very informative and entertaining. I do have to say however, what prompted me to start this thread is that I suggested to the young lady in question that perhaps black-tie dress-code for this particular evening would not be uncalled for. Although she is of the very highest refinement she did not seem completely warm to the idea. So I came here in search of some evidence that such a thing might be possible, but I'm afraid the other voices might prevail. In so many things in life, attire being one of them, it's lady's choice!

Loved the Nick and Nora reference!

I am a big fan of tuxedos. I currently own three. However, I seldom take them out of the closet these days. These seem to be informal times and a simple black suit and black tie seems somehow more in tune with the era here in Los Angeles.

I assume that this is not your first trip to the ballet. Were there any other tuxedo-clad people at previous performances?

My experience with wearing a tux to the ballet is that at certain times of the year, for certain events, black tie is appropriate - especially if a black tie reception precedes or follows the performance.

And if your date is cool to the idea of your wearing a tux, definitely forget it.

Things you need to consider are...

1. What's your lady wearing? If she's going casual and you're wearing BT, it might look a bit weird.

But if she's wearing a formal dress of any persuasion, then a tux would look nice.

2. People don't normally dress up...for anything...these days. So perhaps if you and your date make an effort, it'll look cool.

3. Completely pointless question but, are your tickets for the Dress Circle or just down in the seats? The D/C is the first balcony level in a theater (if said theater has one). So-named because in Victorian times, to sit here, you had to conform to the dress-code (which was, I believe, white tie). If you are, perhaps for the hell of it, put on the tux and look smug

4. If you do decide to wear the tux, you need to feel comfortable and casual with it. If you look all fidgety, it won't look cool. Remember that a tux is not considered formalwear. It's traditionally informal. Full formalwear was White Tie and Tails (which almost nobody but Prince Philip wears these days). So act informal. Don't feel self-conscious and worried about it. You look cool and everyone else is gonna be jealous. Just be happy and remember that

The main issue I would consider would be whether you would be the only people in the building dressed to that (relative) level of formality, and if so would that make your date desperate uncomfortable. I've never cared much for what other people may think of how I choose to dress nor whether I 'stick out', but if your date does worry about looking out of the ordinary in such environs, you might want to consider an alternative to put her more at ease.

m0nk said:

I agree here. I would love to get out a tux for certain events, but my wife prefers more casual dress, so I usually end up wearing nice slacks and a blazer, and sometimes just far enough to get out a suit. Regardless of what I want to wear, it's better to look good together than to look overdressed and separate.

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Agree; you don't want to look like a male escort. Or, maybe you do.....

Wow, the Nutcracker so soon? Most ballet companies wait until at least Thanksgiving to produce this perennial money-maker. One other question I'd ask is, is your show on a weekday or weekend? For shows on weekdays, after work, the dress tends to be more casual. On a Saturday, that's when people have more time to get ready, and ladies have the day to go through their full beauty routine unrushed.

The show isn't until after Thanksgiving, I'm just getting my ducks in a row. It's not as far off as one might think!

I'm with Corky, your lady should have the final choice. Although I feel that you can never over dress the woman is always right!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been married 32 years and that happens because she is never wrong! LOL

Shangas said:

...So act informal. Don't feel self-conscious and worried about it. You look cool and everyone else is gonna be jealous. Just be happy and remember that

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That bit of advice just helped me big time. I have always been worried about dressing "vintage". Even if it is just jeans and a sports coat. It is not the norm in this area. But I see the way people look at me. Not knowing what they think. Some times I will choose to leave the coat/hat in the car depending on where I might be in fear of being smirked at. Now, thanks to your advice, I will not care anymore. Dressing nice makes me feel good and fills me with pride.

Honda Enoch said:

That bit of advice just helped me big time. I have always been worried about dressing "vintage". Even if it is just jeans and a sports coat. It is not the norm in this area. But I see the way people look at me. Not knowing what they think. Some times I will choose to leave the coat/hat in the car depending on where I might be in fear of being smirked at. Now, thanks to your advice, I will not care anymore. Dressing nice makes me feel good and fills me with pride.

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You're welcome, Honda