Are you ever tired of explaining why you live or dress the way you do?

sheeplady · Jan 14, 2013

missjo said:
Nobody can prove it.
The National Institute for War studies did a lot of very detailed research (especially after some American writer wrote a book claiming she knew who did it) and their conclusion is that we just don't know who betrayed them.
As many of the SD archives were destroyed we will probably never even know what the message said.

As sad as what happened is, I'm glad we don't know who turned them in for the sake of their descendents. Lots of people would be chomping at the bit to make them pay for the sins of their ancestors.

BladeOfAnduril · Jan 14, 2013

I feel a little out of place replying to this, but I'll add my $.02 anyway.

I don't dress vintage at all. I have started to dress better recently though. At work, the dress code is "business casual" but management has unofficially redefined that as meaning jeans and a polo. Beginning in the last couple months I've tried to set higher standards for myself and acquire more "grown up" cloths. I typically try to stick with a button-down dress shirt and sweater, or sweater vest and trousers. Occasionally I'll push it further and throw in a tie. Well if that isn't asking for it... the first few times I did that I got the typical "off to the ball?" type comments. After my co-workers got over that, I started wearing a fedora. :eeek: I'm still getting past those comments. A few have been positive. A few have been behind my back -- "he looks like a gangster *teehee*". So I think I can relate a little to what you are dealing with, Rue. I envy you to an extent. You dress as you like, and that's just you. You're comfortable that way. I haven't gotten there yet, and as someone who isn't exactly a socialite to begin with, it takes me some measure of nerve to walk out of the house in the morning. So hats off to you!

sheeplady · Jan 14, 2013

missjo said:
Sounds excellent.
I like the idea of living like the Amish but am not at all keen on religion.

I can remember meeting one couple when I was a kid that moved into an old farmhouse with very little money. They couldn't afford to update the electric, so they lived without. So they bought a treadle sewing machine. And of course, a non-electric washer with a ringer. And a woodstove. And then they started dressing that way and eating off of old plates and they were just of that time period. Granted, they still used modern medicine and I do believe that one of them was a teacher (history, I think).

St. Louis · Jan 14, 2013

There are people around this country who live that way, for lots of reasons--poverty, conviction, enjoyment, eccentricity. There was an article in the NY Times some years ago about a photographer who lives somewhere in upstate NY without any modern amenities -- he's become quite famous, I believe. I was a bit taken aback by Caramel's observation that people who wanted to live the life of the past (let's say, for argument, the 1930s) likely had some psychological issue. Not that there's anything wrong with being eccentric! What would this world be like without eccentrics?

About two or three times a year, a bunch of my friends and I rent a primitive rural village composed of historic log houses. We live there for about 3-4 days recreating the mid-19th century. I can't begin to tell you how refreshing it is to be free of all electronic devices for a weekend or so. It's astonishing to me how much more time there is for everyday living and real conversations. Granted, our weekends are placed in an earlier time, but I can certainly imagine that something like this could be done for our era as well. In fact, one of the houses was owned by a lady who lived in it until the 1960s (she was well into her nineties by then) and never had electricity or running water.

missjo · Jan 14, 2013

Technically you can say that we have some issues, in one way or another we are trying to escape reality and shut out the real world... but then again so is anyone who watches tv, reads a book, plays computer games, etc, etc.

fashion frank · Jan 15, 2013

PrettySquareGal said:
In my life I take the best of the past and bring it into my present life. We all live in the present; some of us are just better at taking charge of how we think and feel, and managing the setting (homes) in which we can truly be ourselves. It's not a stage or props or role-playing. It's who I am and what I believe in. Convictions. Style.

Yea what she said !

That's exactly how I look at it and that's what I do as well!

For me anyway ,what gets me the most is that even though everything that I really like is from the past ( clothing ,music , cars, etc etc etc) people DIG IT !

I wear my suits and clothes with class , people remark, I'm filling up my car , people hear big band swing and comment on how much they like it .
In other words I'm just doing what I like in life but I always get positive responces to it , so in my mind it validates myself and I think to myself
" yea Frank ,your a solid sender Jack " and I'm cool with all of it !

All the Best, Fashion Frank

CaramelSmoothie · Jan 15, 2013

St. Louis said:
I was a bit taken aback by Caramel's observation that people who wanted to live the life of the past (let's say, for argument, the 1930s) likely had some psychological issue.

Nope, that's not what I said at all. I said that I have often wondered if out of all the people who live like that if there are "SOME" WITHIN that group who may have deeper psychological issues going on as it relates to living in the past. You've completely misquoted me.

LizzieMaine · Jan 15, 2013

missjo said:
Technically you can say that we have some issues, in one way or another we are trying to escape reality and shut out the real world... but then again so is anyone who watches tv, reads a book, plays computer games, etc, etc.

I don't know as I'd say escape reality so much as avoid something unpleasant. Onions make me violently sick -- so I go to great lengths to avoid them. Doesn't mean I'm crazy, or even eccentric -- I simply avoid something that I know is going to cause an unpleasant and unavoidable reaction. I feel the same way about modern culture -- it's going to exasperate me, upset me, make me angry, get me agitated, so I save myself the trouble and stay away from it.

sheeplady · Jan 15, 2013

CaramelSmoothie said:
Nope, that's not what I said at all. I said that I have often wondered if out of all the people who live like that if there are "SOME" WITHIN that group who may have deeper psychological issues going on as it relates to living in the past. You've completely misquoted me.

But I think that's true of every group. Even among "normal moderns" there's "crazy" people (and many more than you'll find running around in vintage). Society just tends to really notice when someone is "crazy" if they are also outside of the lines of normal dress or lifestyle because they already stick out; the behavior just becomes confirmatory to someone looking for a "reason."

I'm using the term crazy on purpose... no one is going to care about the person who is depressed and dresses either way, but if you have the symptoms of what our society deems as craziness, heaven help you.

Perhaps it's because I grew up in an area where a lot of people lived "alternative" lifestyles, but it's never stunned me that someone wants to live their life in a different way than mine, even if it's radically different. As long as they aren't bothering me or hurting somebody, I couldn't care less. To be honest, I find living without running water or electric to be a lot less crazy than living in a McMansion with debt up to your ears and a three car garage and a boat you can't even sail just to keep up appearances. And neither would be my personal choice (oh, how I love thee hot water that flows from my tap), but I understand that people are making different choices than me.

CaramelSmoothie · Jan 15, 2013

Sheeplady, I'm sure that it may be true of every group but since this thread and forum is about the vintage crowd, I specifically spoke about that segment of the population. I was just responding to St. Louis because she mistakenly quoted me as saying that all people who dress vintage have psychological issues and that is incorrect.

Edward · Jan 15, 2013

LizzieMaine said:
I don't know as I'd say escape reality so much as avoid something unpleasant. Onions make me violently sick -- so I go to great lengths to avoid them. Doesn't mean I'm crazy, or even eccentric -- I simply avoid something that I know is going to cause an unpleasant and unavoidable reaction. I feel the same way about modern culture -- it's going to exasperate me, upset me, make me angry, get me agitated, so I save myself the trouble and stay away from it.

Absolutely. There's a world of difference between those who make a rational choice not to wholesale accept every change that occurs, retaining of the past what is useful and valuable to them, and those who for whatever reason cannot accept the "real world" and thus seek to "escape" it. In the same way as there is a world of difference between being fascinated by and collecting accoutrements pertaining to the Napoleonic period, and thinking you actually are Napoleon.

V.C. Brunswick · Jan 15, 2013

You mean I'm not Napoleon???

CaramelSmoothie · Jan 15, 2013

Edward said:
Absolutely. There's a world of difference between those who make a rational choice not to wholesale accept every change that occurs, retaining of the past what is useful and valuable to them, and those who for whatever reason cannot accept the "real world" and thus seek to "escape" it.

So it would seem that those in the latter group may be the ones I would be speaking of when I said that I wondered if there were deep seated psychological reasons for wanting to escape reality and immersing themselves in the past as a cover.

LizzieMaine · Jan 15, 2013

V.C. Brunswick said:
You mean I'm not Napoleon???

If the hat fits....

St. Louis · Jan 15, 2013

CaramelSmoothie said:
Sheeplady, I'm sure that it may be true of every group but since this thread and forum is about the vintage crowd, I specifically spoke about that segment of the population. I was just responding to St. Louis because she mistakenly quoted me as saying that all people who dress vintage have psychological issues and that is incorrect.

Okay, let's both agree to quote one another correctly. I alluded to the fact that you indicated that there were psychological issues; my mistake was not to add your very pertinent "some, but not all" phrase, which I think was an important point and one I should not have neglected to quote. I won't repeat my own post, because it's only a page or two back and I assume anyone who is interested can go and take a peek at what I said. I don't want to belabor this point, because I doubt anyone else would enjoy that. I suppose at this point it's a draw?

rue · Jan 15, 2013

BladeOfAnduril said:
I feel a little out of place replying to this, but I'll add my $.02 anyway.

I don't dress vintage at all. I have started to dress better recently though. At work, the dress code is "business casual" but management has unofficially redefined that as meaning jeans and a polo. Beginning in the last couple months I've tried to set higher standards for myself and acquire more "grown up" cloths. I typically try to stick with a button-down dress shirt and sweater, or sweater vest and trousers. Occasionally I'll push it further and throw in a tie. Well if that isn't asking for it... the first few times I did that I got the typical "off to the ball?" type comments. After my co-workers got over that, I started wearing a fedora. :eeek: I'm still getting past those comments. A few have been positive. A few have been behind my back -- "he looks like a gangster *teehee*". So I think I can relate a little to what you are dealing with, Rue. I envy you to an extent. You dress as you like, and that's just you. You're comfortable that way. I haven't gotten there yet, and as someone who isn't exactly a socialite to begin with, it takes me some measure of nerve to walk out of the house in the morning. So hats off to you!

You'll get there eventually

I'm not exactly a socialite either lol When I started out, I tried different hairstyles at first and then mixed in vintage clothes until I could afford to change everything over completely. It happened over the course of two years, so I was able to adjust to it with very little problem from others. It's only once in a great while that I feel the way I did when I started this post. Mostly, I was just sick and irritated at the time. But like yesterday, when I felt more like my good ol' self, I bounced out of the house and didn't care what anyone thought

rue · Jan 15, 2013

LizzieMaine said:
If the hat fits....

lol

CaramelSmoothie · Jan 15, 2013

St. Louis said:
Okay, let's both agree to quote one another correctly. I alluded to the fact that you indicated that there were psychological issues; my mistake was not to add your very pertinent "some, but not all" phrase, which I think was an important point and one I should not have neglected to quote. I won't repeat my own post, because it's only a page or two back and I assume anyone who is interested can go and take a peek at what I said. I don't want to belabor this point, because I doubt anyone else would enjoy that. I suppose at this point it's a draw?

Agreed:eusa_clap

Edward · Jan 15, 2013

CaramelSmoothie said:
So it would seem that those in the latter group may be the ones I would be speaking of when I said that I wondered if there were deep seated psychological reasons for wanting to escape reality and immersing themselves in the past as a cover.

Precisely.

Lt.Tom · Jan 15, 2013

I wear a uniform during the day, 6 days a week. When off work, at 50 years old I still lived mostly in t-shirts and cargo shorts. Now, my father never left the house without a collared shirt on. The man mowed the lawn in a collared shirt. My generation had dropped the ball. Just a couple of years ago, I decided to grow up. I love vintage clothes, but don't own enough to spend all of my free time dressed that way. When I leave the house now, I'm usually in a bowtie, and a proper hat or cap. All of that is to say, yes, between the bowtie, the fedora, and the handlebar moustache, I have to do my fair share of explaining. Sometimes I'm not in the mood ("Dressed up? No, I'm just dressed.") When I am in mostly vintage clothing, it's usually obvious that in order to wrap their minds around what they're seeing, they have to find a pigeon hole to put me in. "Appreciates the styles of the early '40s" is one. "Wishes it was the early '40s" is another. "Thinks it is the early '40s" is quite another. As if trying to determin a safe distance to keep or something. Ordinarily I don't mind, I understand they don't see this sort of dress everyday. But I understand what Rue means, when I have to run out at 11 pm (to the only types of places open at 11 pm) and explain myself to a clerk who has been getting off work, rolling his/her polo and slacks into a ball, throwing them into the back seat, then the following day retrieving said ball and putting them back on again, for at least a week. I live in a small town. Folks are beginning to know me. Upside: much less explaining. Downside: If I did try to sneak in and out at 11pm hatless and in a t-shirt, I'd probably have to stop and explain that to someone.

Are you ever tired of explaining why you live or dress the way you do?

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up

BladeOfAnduril

One of the Regulars

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up

St. Louis

Practically Family

missjo

Practically Family

fashion frank

One Too Many

CaramelSmoothie

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LizzieMaine

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up

CaramelSmoothie

Practically Family

Edward

V.C. Brunswick

CaramelSmoothie

Practically Family

LizzieMaine

St. Louis

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rue

rue

CaramelSmoothie

Practically Family

Edward

Lt.Tom

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