Maternal Dissaproval

thecollegeguy123 · Dec 16, 2013

Picard1138 said:
Sounds like you need to draw a line in the sand with your mom. If you make it clear to her how unpleasant she makes you feel, enough to post it for advice on a message board, maybe she will try to stop being so critical. Otherwise, I'm sure there are friends in Miami who would be happy to have you come over for Christmas that don't make you feel terrible.

Walking out is by no means a solution, merely a bandaid. Many people have troublesome mothers, myself included for a long time, until we came to some understanding. However, if she is unwilling to listen and stop micro managing your life, you may need to avoid contact for the sake of your mental wellbeing and growth as an adult.

Also, post a photo of you in the hat and we'll let you know how wrong she is about looking ridiculous. 10:1 says you pull it off grand.

By the way, here's me in my gray Stetson Chatham that I highly recommend, and a khaki cotton suit from Brook's Brothers (very stylish for Los Angeles or Miami alike):
View attachment 7213

-Max

How do you add photos? Whenever I try to do so, it tells me to add a url address. Does that mean I have to upload it on another website before I can put it here?

Picard1138 · Dec 16, 2013

You should have the option to upload it from your computer. There is a "from computer" tab, then you select the file, then click "upload files."

-Max

VetPsychWars · Dec 16, 2013

Wow, long thread.

Find pictures of her father. See what kind of hat he wore. Call attention to it.

My mother finds my hats amusing because it reminds her of her father.

Tom

thecollegeguy123 · Dec 16, 2013

Picard1138 said:
You should have the option to upload it from your computer. There is a "from computer" tab, then you select the file, then click "upload files."

-Max

I can not find the "from computer tab", even in the advance options.

Picard1138 · Dec 16, 2013

thecollegeguy123 said:
I can not find the "from computer tab", even in the advance options.

Colleguy,

In the quick reply section you'll see a set of buttons on the right of the smiley face. The 4th button it, the little tree with four black corners, should bring up a pop up box where you can select to upload the file.
It will look like this:

-Max

thecollegeguy123 · Dec 16, 2013

Picard1138 said:
Colleguy,

In the quick reply section you'll see a set of buttons on the right of the smiley face. The 4th button it, the little tree with four black corners, should bring up a pop up box where you can select to upload the file.
It will look like this: View attachment 7217

-Max

I checked my posting permissions. It says that I am not allowed to post attachments. I then checked my settings to see if I could change that, but there was no option to allow me to upload images. Is there a way to change my posting permissions?

HudsonHawk · Dec 16, 2013

thecollegeguy123 said:
I checked my posting permissions. It says that I am not allowed to post attachments. I then checked my settings to see if I could change that, but there was no option to allow me to upload images. Is there a way to change my posting permissions?

I'm not positive, but I think that's a function of your recently joining the forum. You're not allowed full permissions until you've reached a certain number of posts. It's to protect the forum against trolls who sign up just to spam the board with images or advertising.

thecollegeguy123 · Dec 16, 2013

HudsonHawk said:
I'm not positive, but I think that's a function of your recently joining the forum. You're not allowed full permissions until you've reached a certain number of posts. It's to protect the forum against trolls who sign up just to spam the board with images or advertising.

Okay. I guess I will just have to wait until I can show all of you the picture of me in my fedora. It is a black Akubra Bogart, if that gives you a better idea of what it looks like.

Edward · Dec 16, 2013

Hatsdirect.com's stock image of the Akubra Bogart:

thecollegeguy123 · Dec 16, 2013

thecollegeguy123 said:
Okay. I guess I will just have to wait until I can show all of you the picture of me in my fedora. It is a black Akubra Bogart, if that gives you a better idea of what it looks like.

Ironically it was my last comment that turned on the upload permission. Here is what I look like in the hat:

Picard1138 · Dec 16, 2013

thecollegeguy123 said:
Ironically it was my last comment that turned on the upload permission. Here is what I look like in the hat: View attachment 7218

Your mom is wrong. Keep wearing the hat, you look good in it and you like it, what business is it of hers to tell you what to wear?

Hell, if you go with a gray Akubra, I'll even put a black grosgrain ribbon on it for you for free if you want.

-Max

CaramelSmoothie · Dec 16, 2013

Ha! You do give off an Amish vibe, but that's not a bad thing. The hat looks very nice on you.

Mulceber · Dec 16, 2013

Looks good! No problems there that I can see (apart from you apparently being sideways). The black actually works better than I thought it was going to, and you don't look Jewish or Amish. I would recommend a second hat in a different color though. Basically, your mother's got no ground to stand on here. I still wouldn't recommend a big confrontation, as that's just going to give her fodder to feel persecuted, like she's the "good, loving mother burdened with an ungrateful son." I'd ignore her. The hat suits you and you shouldn't change it.

aihpcfl · Dec 16, 2013

I haven't experienced this, but do have a mother (and a wife, and wives try to mother you after a while). My advice, do your best to please your mother and don't disappoint her, even over something like this. You do have to be your own man, too, of course, but while you have your mother make her happy. Find a way to do both.

EggHead · Dec 16, 2013

Well, here in SF it's perfectly OK to have a Mohawk or green/purple hair or really BIG earring(s) hung from all facial parts, but a vintage fedora... not so much. But I wear them anyway.

BTW, I think that black fedora fits your looks well.

Benzadmiral · Dec 16, 2013

CollegeGuy,

I've seen more than a few musicians here in Noo Awlins who wear fedoras, and carry them off with the same kind of style you project. Do an image search for "Dr. John," for an example.

I'd say the advice given earlier, to sit down quietly with Mom and tell her what's what, is probably the best plan. You could ask, "Do you want me to wear a baseball cap instead? Backwards, even? Isn't this better?"

Fastuni · Dec 16, 2013

No criticism, just an observation:
I can see how the black hat with sideburns and little beard leads to "Jewish/Amish" associations of your look.
Nothing wrong with that as long as it does not bother you. A clean shave with "dapper" hair cut will look quite different with that hat (which fits you btw nicely).

facade · Dec 16, 2013

If you have fully emancipated yourself financially, then some of the previous advice may make sense. If not, then it probably isn't the time to rock the boat. Wear your hat when you are away but accept her wishes the few weeks you are at home. After all its just a hat.

hatophile · Dec 16, 2013

The hat looks good. Just make sure when the time comes, you don't have to worry about Spousal disapproval.

alanfgag · Dec 16, 2013

thecollegeguy123 said:
Here is what I look like in the hat...

I could see you getting some sideways glances in that hat.

You just need a few more. You've come to the right place.

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