Some children tried to steal my hat yesterday

ninman said:

I do not have to talk, or say "hello", to every person I meet on the street, and certainly not children. I should not have to fear being harassed, or having my property stolen, simply because I was minding my own business and didn't want to talk to anyone.

I think what drew their attention was my hat, because it's very rare to see people wearing hats, and my Akubra obviously stands out among hat wearers in general.

Children here are generally like this. I had children making fun of my ex-wife because she was Chinese before. I've had children shout at me from their car to try and give me a fright. I've even had children throwing water on me from their cars when I was doing nothing more than walking down the street.

It's something that's very hard to take, when you want to do nothing more than live your life, wear the clothes you enjoy wearing and do the things you enjoy doing, which does not hurt or bother anyone else.

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My comment did not meant that you should say 'hello' out of fear of being harassed again. As Blackthorn said, sometimes just some common courtesy, and possibly the removal of the chip from one's shoulder, goes a long way towards fostering a pleasant, relaxed attitude, and the lessening of possible hostilities.

By your account, you seem to live in an 'uncivilized' area. If you cannot physically relocate, you're going to need some revised strategies for your emotional, and possibly physical, survival - iow, an 'attitude adjustment.' And you just might be happier in the long run.

ninman said:

I do not have to talk, or say "hello", to every person I meet on the street, and certainly not children. I should not have to fear being harassed, or having my property stolen, simply because I was minding my own business and didn't want to talk to anyone.

I think what drew their attention was my hat, because it's very rare to see people wearing hats, and my Akubra obviously stands out among hat wearers in general.

Children here are generally like this. I had children making fun of my ex-wife because she was Chinese before. I've had children shout at me from their car to try and give me a fright. I've even had children throwing water on me from their cars when I was doing nothing more than walking down the street.

It's something that's very hard to take, when you want to do nothing more than live your life, wear the clothes you enjoy wearing and do the things you enjoy doing, which does not hurt or bother anyone else.

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Ninman, unfortunately, some people, no matter their age, are just not particularly nice to be around. This sounds to me like a classic case of 'wrong place, wrong time', and no matter what you did, something probably would have happened. If you'd said 'Hello!' in your most polite and friendly way, they would have taken offence; they were simply looking for a reason to express their power over someone else, to feel powerful and strong and make you feel small before them. They were acting as a pack, and I imagine there was one ringleader who did most of the talking, and the others were emboldened by this kid's actions. Pack mentality is a major reason for situations going south for youngsters, and things can get out of hand very quickly when no one is thinking and only reacting to prove their toughness. Which in no way excuses their behaviour, absolutely not. But, in my opinion, this could have been a lot worse.

Let me be clear; you did nothing wrong, and you handled the situation as best you could. You are not an easy target, you do not look like a push over or a victim, you do not give off subliminal signals that in some way mark you as deserving of this kind of treatment, you were just unlucky to see them that day and at that time, and you were equally lucky to walk away with your hat and without having to resort to violence.

What would I do? Well, after living in Birmingham in England all of my life, and seeing and experiencing this kind of thing regularly, both personally and watching it happen to others, I moved. I moved to Sweden, and the cultural differences here are incredible. Not only am I much happier, I also no longer feel constantly on edge in crowds, or fear walking along streets at night, or fear groups of youths, or fear wearing clothes that look remotely different to the sportswear clad 'normal' people around me. I would never, ever have dared to walk around most of the areas of Birmingham in which I lived wearing vintage ANYTHING, and certainly not a 'conspicuous' hat.

If the place you live is filled with racist morons who act as you have described, then seriously, for your sanity and personal wellbeing, consider moving. You can't change the culture around you, but you can move yourself to somewhere different. There are better places to live, where you can live, and you won't need to feel threatened just because you dare to wear a hat in public. Should you have to move? Of course not, but it's better to do something positive, rather than continue living in an environment where you feel like you can't be yourself.

ninman said:

I've had children shout at me from their car to try and give me a fright. I've even had children throwing water on me from their cars when I was doing nothing more than walking down the street..

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swinglish said:

You are not an easy target, you do not look like a push over or a victim, you do not give off subliminal signals that in some way mark you as deserving of this kind of treatment, you were just unlucky to see them that day and at that time, .

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You may be wrong swinglish.

Lean'n'mean said:

You may be wrong swinglish.

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Indeed. There is no way to tell, from a picture and some pros, what demeanor anyone gives off. Some people have the invisible 'Kick Me' sign on their backs. Subliminal signals are there, and play a big part in how people are perceived.

No, I am not saying that ninman gives off those signals. There's no way for me to know that. But to dismiss it without any consideration is not accurate, either.