You know you are getting old when:

• Sep 21, 2020

• #5,701

Zombie_61

Messages

11,908

Location

Southern California

Turnip said:

That’s indeed a very Americano thought pattern......the currency I meant to be paid with is knowledge, the body’s just the purse......what might be a very European point of view...

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Sadly, on this side of the pond that kind of currency doesn't stretch nearly as far as actual currency.

 

• Sep 22, 2020

• #5,702

Trenchfriend

Messages

12,468

Location

Germany

When you know, what's the point with that.

 

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• Sep 24, 2020

• #5,703

BobHufford

Messages

14,536

Location

Ragged Edge of the Grid / Missouri Ozarks

LizzieMaine said:

I've never really cared about what happens to my carcass when I go. Just stand me out on the sidewalk with the old branches and the bags of leaves.

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I just want to be left in the woods for the critters to scatter. I was going to leave my kids my tattoos, but they objected.

 

• Sep 24, 2020

• #5,704

Turnip

My Mail is Forwarded Here

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3,250

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Europe

You made enough working years to officially reach your pension claim.

 

• Sep 24, 2020

• #5,705

tonyb

Messages

10,595

Location

My mother's basement

... hiring out the heavier housekeeping chores gets serious consideration.

 

• Sep 25, 2020

• #5,706

Trenchfriend

Messages

12,468

Location

Germany

When you're standing up from your desk chair and your left knee joint makes an ugly feeling CRUNCH as if it would like to break apart.

 

• Sep 28, 2020

• #5,707

Ticklishchap

One Too Many

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1,728

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London

Edward said:

I used to think mine were getting worse. Then we got a dog.... Jinkies, for all Mimi is the sweetest, most adorable ten year old poodlecross you could ever hope to miss - and so prissy with it, so clean shedoes'nt even like to walk on wet grass, she'll take the path every time - the gas her hindquarters can produce on occasion is wholly within the Silent Killer category.

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... Blaming the dog is one of the oldest tricks in the book.
The Silent But Deadly was an extremely useful skill at an all-male boarding school and men's college - and one which I honed to an art form.
These days I am more civilised, of course!

 

• Sep 28, 2020

• #5,708

GHT

I'll Lock Up

Messages

9,331

Location

New Forest

Ticklishchap said:

The Silent But Deadly was an extremely useful skill at an all-male boarding school and men's college - and one which I honed to an art form.

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It's as bad at the other end of the age spectrum. During the quiet part of the church service the elderly wife whispered to her husband: "I've just done a silent fart, what do you think I should do?" He replied, "get a new battery in your hearing aid."

 

• Sep 28, 2020

• #5,709

Ticklishchap

One Too Many

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1,728

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London

GHT said:

It's as bad at the other end of the age spectrum. During the quiet part of the church service the elderly wife whispered to her husband: "I've just done a silent fart, what do you think I should do?" He replied, "get a new battery in your hearing aid."

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It’s possible that fart humour just gets better - or more ripe - with age.
Where do you stand on the ‘loud blast’ versus ‘Silent But Deadly’ debate? Which is ultimately the better weapon?

 

• Sep 28, 2020

• #5,710

Haversack

One Too Many

Messages

1,193

Location

Clipperton Island

Ticklishchap said:

Where do you stand on the ‘loud blast’ versus ‘Silent But Deadly’ debate? Which is ultimately the better weapon?

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I think Benjamin Franklin had the final word on the subject in his essay, Fart Proudly.

 

• Sep 29, 2020

• #5,711

Ticklishchap

One Too Many

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1,728

Location

London

Haversack said:

I think Benjamin Franklin had the final word on the subject in his essay, Fart Proudly.

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That is a marvellous essay. I hadn't realised, until I read the Wikipedia entry in your link, that it was written originally after a call for papers from the Royal Academy of Brussels. This is more than appropriate, when we consider the effects of Brussels Sprouts!

 

• Sep 29, 2020

• #5,712

tonyb

Messages

10,595

Location

My mother's basement

tonyb said:

... hiring out the heavier housekeeping chores gets serious consideration.

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... you actually do hire out the deep cleaning. We want this place sparkling before we gotta button things up for winter, when we’ll be without God’s ever-rejuvenating breezes blowing through this dump.

 

• Sep 30, 2020

• #5,713

Turnip

My Mail is Forwarded Here

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3,250

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Europe

...you take Fango packs to get used to lying in damp soil.

 

Last edited: Oct 1, 2020

• Oct 4, 2020

• #5,714

tonyb

Messages

10,595

Location

My mother's basement

... your big entertainment during the 2200 hour on a Saturday is watching your dogs eat peanut butter.

 

• Oct 4, 2020

• #5,715

GHT

I'll Lock Up

Messages

9,331

Location

New Forest

I've got a cat that loves peanut butter. She loves yogurt too.

 

• Oct 4, 2020

• #5,716

Turnip

My Mail is Forwarded Here

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3,250

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Europe

Mine loved beer and cheese, grew 18 years old.

 

• Oct 4, 2020

• #5,717

Trenchfriend

Messages

12,468

Location

Germany

When the Estonia comes back to the news...

 

• Oct 6, 2020

• #5,718

Trenchfriend

Messages

12,468

Location

Germany

When you're watching more or less funny youtube-channel stuff, which is for the typical youngsters-clientele and you think:

"Wait, I'm 16 or 3...?"

 

• Oct 6, 2020

• #5,719

Turnip

My Mail is Forwarded Here

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3,250

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Europe

...you could sleep until noon everyday but stand in the garden at 05:00 cutting the hedges instead.

 

• Oct 6, 2020

• #5,720

Turnip

My Mail is Forwarded Here

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3,250

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Europe

...you travel back in time having thin hair, no teeth and needing diapers again.