Clean Jokes

• Oct 24, 2020

• #2,281

GHT

I'll Lock Up

Messages

9,330

Location

New Forest

I lost my job with the funeral directors last week because I kept asking customers whether they wanted “Smoking” or “Non-smoking"
Apparently the preferred terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.

 

• Oct 25, 2020

• #2,282

HoosierDaddy

Messages

15,563

Location

East Central Indiana

Is this too corny..??

 

• Oct 27, 2020

• #2,283

Turnip

My Mail is Forwarded Here

Messages

3,250

Location

Europe

Social distancing

 

• Oct 28, 2020

• #2,284

BobHufford

Messages

14,534

Location

Ragged Edge of the Grid / Missouri Ozarks

 

• Oct 28, 2020

• #2,285

Robieman

A-List Customer

Messages

361

Location

Tennessee

I thought some of you ex military might get a "kick" out of this...

 

• Oct 28, 2020

• #2,286

Hurricane Jack

Messages

17,569

BobHufford said:

Click to expand...

"If You See Something, Say Something" -- Homeland Security

 

• Oct 28, 2020

• #2,287

Turnip

My Mail is Forwarded Here

Messages

3,250

Location

Europe

OOOKAAAY - AND THE OTHER TWO WISHES?

 

• Oct 28, 2020

• #2,288

Turnip

My Mail is Forwarded Here

Messages

3,250

Location

Europe

THANKS TO HIS URINAL CATHETER JÜRGEN HAS BEEN VERY LUCKY IN THIS CRASH.

 

• Oct 29, 2020

• #2,289

Benny Holiday

My Mail is Forwarded Here

Messages

3,756

Location

Sydney Australia

Ouch!

 

• Oct 29, 2020

• #2,290

Trenchfriend

Messages

12,466

Location

Germany

"Hungry, little?"

"No, he wants to go to Tokio Hotel."

 

• Nov 2, 2020

• #2,291

Turnip

My Mail is Forwarded Here

Messages

3,250

Location

Europe

Practicing Social Distancing

Right

Wrong

 

• Nov 2, 2020

• #2,292

Trenchfriend

Messages

12,466

Location

Germany

A young man with a young (female) social pedagogue in bed, but both sadly bored and idealess.

"Hm, what do we want to do?"

"Hm. I give you a b.....b . "Is that okay for you?"

 

• Nov 4, 2020

• #2,293

Turnip

My Mail is Forwarded Here

Messages

3,250

Location

Europe

Lesson Two, Keeping Six Feet Distance

Right

Wrong

 

Last edited: Nov 4, 2020

• Nov 6, 2020

• #2,294

Bamaboots

Messages

11,154

Location

Alabama

 

• Nov 7, 2020

• #2,295

Turnip

My Mail is Forwarded Here

Messages

3,250

Location

Europe

 

• Nov 7, 2020

• #2,296

Hurricane Jack

Messages

17,569

Bamaboots said:

View attachment 277946

Click to expand...

I heard it where the angry driver gave the passive driver the finger.

 

• Nov 7, 2020

• #2,297

Trenchfriend

Messages

12,466

Location

Germany

Most famous GDR joke:

GDR launched a new improved metal wire, which is so thin, that the usual measuring tools can't measure it.
So GDR sends the wire in a small parcel to Japan. BUT they forgot to enclose the letter, which contains the request to measure it.

Then, the wire comes back with a letter from the japanese engineers:
"We are sorry, but we didn't know what to do with the wire. So we cut an outer and inner thread in."

Best regards.

 

• Nov 9, 2020

• #2,298

Benny Holiday

My Mail is Forwarded Here

Messages

3,756

Location

Sydney Australia

Benny Holiday's tip of the day: When your wife asks you what's on TV, don't reply, "Dust."

 

• Nov 9, 2020

• #2,299

Benny Holiday

My Mail is Forwarded Here

Messages

3,756

Location

Sydney Australia

The man who holds the world record for pronouncing the most difficult tongue twisters was arrested this morning. No doubt he’ll be given a tough sentence.

 

• Nov 9, 2020

• #2,300

Turnip

My Mail is Forwarded Here

Messages

3,250

Location

Europe

Real courage is: Coming home late at night, full to the ridge, meeting your wife waiting with a broom in her hands in the hallway and asking her: „Want to clean up or just take a ride?“

 

Last edited: Nov 9, 2020