Dating in 2019

Edward said:

Definitely not. Too damn loud for conversation, and there's rarely the same notion of asking someone to dance, which was the original social opener. Not least because most straight men these days (at least in my experience) seem to think it somehow effeminate to be able or interested in dancing.

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I've been part of the Melbourne (Australia) lindy hop scene for 17 years and see men dancing with other men quite a lot (myself included). Nobody bats an eyelid. At a nightclub I imagine it would be different.

MikeBravo said:

I've been part of the Melbourne (Australia) lindy hop scene for 17 years and see men dancing with other men quite a lot (myself included). Nobody bats an eyelid. At a nightclub I imagine it would be different.

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Hopefully all scenes will be as progressive one day! Are your classes gender-imbalanced? There's a lot of same-sex dancing in the scene, though it is most commonly two ladies, primarily because of a shortage of men in most dance classes and clubs. I think all of us who dane should lern to follow, though - it's a whole lot trickier than it looks, and gives you a new perspective on leading.

I gather it also happens in parts of the world where interaction betwen the sexes is more stictly controlled, whether culturally o legally (or both). My other half has described this in Bangkok.

I casually dated in the years after I split with the ex. Many younger men. It was fun I wanted to have at the time. But it got boring very quickly. Between May and December of 2017 I shut off all my dating profiles and kept to myself. Then, in December 2017 I re-activated my OKCupid. That's when I became annoyed with the "I like older women!" messages. The current boyfriend sent me a nice message amongst all these guys who thought referring to me as an "older woman" was somehow a compliment His message was simply "I like your style from head to toe." We spoke on OkCupid messages for 2 months before we met in February 2018. When I first met him I KNEW we'd be together. Aaaaaand here we are 13 months later

Edward said:

Hopefully all scenes will be as progressive one day! Are your classes gender-imbalanced? There's a lot of same-sex dancing in the scene, though it is most commonly two ladies, primarily because of a shortage of men in most dance classes and clubs. I think all of us who dane should lern to follow, though - it's a whole lot trickier than it looks, and gives you a new perspective on leading.

I gather it also happens in parts of the world where interaction betwen the sexes is more stictly controlled, whether culturally o legally (or both). My other half has described this in Bangkok.

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There are usually more females than males in classes and more follows than leads. Yes, the gender "bias/preference" is there, despite the teachers' best endeavours to promote non-gender specific roles; the best way to do this is to say nothing about traditional roles.

I am having the same lament lately. And maybe I just don’t realize I’m boring because I haven’t any idea at all where to meet people. Bars never work, and event nights that cater to specific lifestyles have only led me to get involved with terminally odd men. We might have common interests, but that can become the least of my cares quickly.
I’m at a point in my life where I feel like I really need sh*t to settle down, so I’ve just given up on trying to date.
Maybe I’ll try the online thing, but that scares me a little too!

Carolina_Girl said:

I can't be the only one that's single and having a hard time finding anyone that has anything in common with them or likes any of the same things?

Right?

I admit I have some old fashioned beliefs and have "weird" taste in music, clothing, etc
But I can't be the only one having this issue, right?

Where and how does someone that's interested in vintage things/lifestyle find someone in today's world?

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I have wondered the same since I stopped attending WWII events (that was in 2011 when the friend with whom I had attended them with passed away). Following that...life in general took a turn for the better, and I started to get more settled in when I moved to my current apartment in 2014. Yet, right on the heels of trying to get settled in, I began getting my surgeries over the course of the years...so, too busy taking care of myself, despite really wanting to reach out to connect with others. I still have one more to go, and depending on the whole COVID situation, may or may not get done this year. Another issue for me is that I identify as demisexual (I was relieved to have found a word for my "type" of sexual attraction, as for years I thought something was wrong with me). This has not made things easier either. Age being another factor (I am 40) and trying to find a woman who neither wants kids nor has any at this point, may be a search in vain. Then with being on SSI (social security) and getting married...don't even get me started on the punative measures that could be taken against me (which is why I don't want to marry).

I figure at this rate... if it happens, it happens. I am not going to force the issue.

scotrace said:

I've met most of the women I've dated through doing community theatre, so here's another vote for getting together with people of similar interest.
In fact, those I did NOT meet that way either didn't prove to be lasting relationships, or were very serious wrong turns that did and shouldn't have.

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My friend and I used to discuss relationships and being involved with the hobby quite often. She and I would discuss about if it was best to have the partner share the interest, and what she told me is essentially what you stated. If the partner does not share the interest in the hobby (in this case it was living history/reenacting) then the relationship does not last that long. That was her experience seeing others relationships with regards to said "pairing".

I thought about either going through shared spirituality route (she could be a pagan, witch, or general spiritual type), or go through the route of vintage lifestyle. Well...looks like vintage lifestyle it is for me, as I drifted away from the spiritual community quite a bit.

Carolina_Girl said:

finding anyone that has anything in common with them or likes any of the same things?

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Really?

Just think about that for a second.

If I ever meet someone who likes the same things, has things in common with me, or resembles me in any way what-so-ever......I will run away, and fast.

I want a girl to be herself. I don't need her to be me.

No way in hell will I have relations with a girl who is fat, balding, drinks more beer than water, and uses a spreadsheet to chart passing gas.

Just call me old fashion.

Amy Jeanne said:

"I watched this MILF porn and now I like 'older women'" way

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I get it. You don't want to be a fetish. No different than girls who watched a Jackie Chan movie, or an episode of Yan Can Cook; and now they're trying to get me into bed.