Your Most Disturbing Realizations

ChiTownScion said:

The straw that broke it with my sister was when (six years ago) she told my wife that (after our marriage of over three decades) that she only "put up" with her because she loved me. I don't need or want that kind of "love." From anyone.

The break was bound to come sooner or later. She & her husband are religious fundamentalists who labor under the delusion that they are owed a living by others who have to deal with their "our way or the highway" attitude. Neither one of them have ever bothered to exert the effort to either obtain a higher education or learn a trade: the retirement plan was always to suck up to relatives and hope that an inheritence would bankroll their golden years. She did manage to get the entire inheritence of a bachelor uncle, not offering to share so much as a nickel with five other family survivors. The good news is that her lifelong lack of self control will assure that said money will be piddled away before she actually needs it.

We've ended contact with both her and my wife's sister and th eir respective families. Pizza or no pizza, any relationship that brings more grief than joy to the table needs to be ended, again, owing to the brevity of life. We're a lot happier since we don't have to deal with them- and that's all that matters. Never understood that crap that was fed to us as kids about having to get along with someone because they're a sibling. Better well chosen friends than tolerated relations, say I.

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“You can choose your friends, but not your family.” (Harper Lee)

ChiTownScion said:

The straw that broke it with my sister was when (six years ago) she told my wife that (after our marriage of over three decades) that she only "put up" with her because she loved me. I don't need or want that kind of "love." From anyone.

The break was bound to come sooner or later. She & her husband are religious fundamentalists who labor under the delusion that they are owed a living by others who have to deal with their "our way or the highway" attitude. Neither one of them have ever bothered to exert the effort to either obtain a higher education or learn a trade: the retirement plan was always to suck up to relatives and hope that an inheritence would bankroll their golden years. She did manage to get the entire inheritence of a bachelor uncle, not offering to share so much as a nickel with five other family survivors. The good news is that her lifelong lack of self control will assure that said money will be piddled away before she actually needs it.

We've ended contact with both her and my wife's sister and their respective families. Pizza or no pizza, any relationship that brings more grief than joy to the table needs to be ended, again, owing to the brevity of life. We're a lot happier since we don't have to deal with them- and that's all that matters. Never understood that crap that was fed to us as kids about having to get along with someone because they're a sibling. Better well chosen friends than tolerated relations, say I.

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I don’t expect anyone to always be at his or her best. I’m not in need of angels. I would hope that others would regard me similarly.

However, I would also hope that the lives of the people left to deal with me are made better by my presence — or, at minimum, not appreciably worse. I wish I had come to this realization sooner than I did.

Some relationships are too ”one way.” My tolerance of it hinges on its frequency and degree. I know of no one who consciously sets out to be selfish and inconsiderate. But too often people don’t plan against it, either. People I still regard as friends too often fit that description, but it’s not so often and so severe that I cut ’em off entirely.