Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

What's Your Favorite Joke?

Status
Not open for further replies.

Zig2k143

Practically Family
Messages
507
Location
Drums, Pa
These are great ones from Henny Youngman and great hints for all you married people out there...

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, a little dancing, a little romance.... She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.


Here are some more of his jokes since this one got me started trying to remember them:

http://www.basicjokes.com/dquotes.php?aid=1003

Rest in peace Henny
 

bolthead

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,905
Location
Pennsylvania, United States
Did ya hear about the guy that walked into the bar with a huge frog on his head? The bartender says, "Where the heck did ya get that thing?" And the frog says, "Eh, it started out as a wart on my backside."
 

VivianRegan

One of the Regulars
Messages
143
Location
Valley of the Sunstroke, AZ
Paraphrased from Emo Philips, said during a show in Pasadena:

~~I've never seen so MANY Starbucks before IN MY LIFE...

but so LITTLE reason to stay awake...~~

(It's hard to get Emo's cadence in a post!)
 

CharlieH.

One Too Many
Messages
1,169
Location
It used to be Detroit....
A nun joke taken from one of my favourite joke joints-

A drunk Irishman steps out of a pub. The first person he sees is a nun. He runs up to the nun & starts punching, kicking, and biting her. The nun begins to scream, but the Irishman knocks her to the ground. The nun tries to get up, but she keeps getting pummeled. He’s cursing, yelling, & screaming threats at her. Finally, the nun is able to get away from the Irishman. As she’s taking flight down the street, she hears the Irishman yell, “Not so tough, now, are ye, Batman?!?”
 

Joie DeVive

One Too Many
Messages
1,308
Location
Colorado
This one is so old....How old is it???

Alright, nobody else did it, so I have to!

Wanna hear a dirty joke?



A kid fell in the mud.



Wanna hear a clean one?



His mom made him take a bath.


If you are groaning or scratching your head right now, I have done my duty.
So bad, it's........dare I say it............classic! :p
 

Joie DeVive

One Too Many
Messages
1,308
Location
Colorado
Ah-ha!

Diamondback said:
@ Joie, #72
*groans*

It's not "old"--the preferred term around here is "vintage"! lol

Gotcha!! lol

So are you telling me it should be:
"This joke us so vintage........."
"How vintage is it???" ;)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Forum statistics

Threads
107,027
Messages
3,026,660
Members
52,533
Latest member
RacerJ
Top