Big Weddings, are they still around?????

BegintheBeguine · Jun 28, 2007

When I had a French fiance, he mentioned the civil wedding is the legal wedding then they have the church wedding. I didn't marry him but I had a civil wedding 3 months before the church wedding.

Edward · Jun 28, 2007

Paisley said:
The couple getting married at the justice of the peace and then having a wedding reminds me another phenomenon: married couples having weddings. In the case of the couple in France, though, there must have been some legal reason since the ceremonies were so close together.

could be a legal thing... a friend got married in germany, and if I remember rightly, he had to go to the town hall for the legal thing - a Church "wedding" there is really "only" the religious side of it for those that want it, but it can't convey the legal status if I remember rightly.

Baron Kurtz · Jun 28, 2007

Thank God i've only ever been to one big wedding! I hate ostentatious displays. I don't even know 200-300 people well enough to invite to events.

bk

Miss_Bella_Hell · Jun 28, 2007

Baron Kurtz said:
Thank God i've only ever been to one big wedding! I hate ostentatious displays. I don't even know 200-300 people well enough to invite to events.

bk

I have a huge extended family on both sides, so if I planned to have my wedding in an accessible place, I would have to plan for that many, certainly. However, I plan to go somewhere far away and invite around 30.

GoldLeaf · Jun 28, 2007

Luckily (or not, I miss not having a sense of family), I don't really know my extended family. My motto when deciding how many people should come was "If you aren't involved in my life on a regular basis, if you don't know my relationship with my fiancee to be able to celebrate if this marriage is a good idea or not, then you aren't coming."

I managed to come up with 30 people with that motto. My MIL could invite more if she wanted to, but she had to pay for them. I certainly wasn't throwing a shin dig for a bunch of people that I or my husband didn't know, and that didn't know our relationship.

I had not a single "political" invitation. None of those friends of the parents from work that wouldn't know me if they ran over me with their car! The only reason some of those other people would have come was for free food and alcohol, not because they really cared. I know people that come to some wedddings (not mine!) for the reception but not the ceremony! How insulting!

I made my ceremony long on purpose, I wanted it to be the focus. Getting drunk and fat shouldn't be the focus that day, in my mind. Of course, I am strange and very opinionated

Baron Kurtz · Jun 28, 2007

My wedding had about 25 people. The only reason there were that many was the insistence by my parents that members of the extended family be there. For example, i do not know my uncles, aunts etc. I know they exist but it ends there. I've seen them maybe 4 or 5 times in my life, for a total of about 10 hours. For the sake of harmony i invited some of them. It was far more important to me to have 2 or 3 very close friends than 50 or 60 acquaintances . . .

bk

GoldLeaf · Jun 28, 2007

Baron Kurtz said:
... It was far more important to me to have 2 or 3 very close friends than 50 or 60 acquaintances . . .

QFT!!

(Quoted for truth!)

be_lovely · Jun 28, 2007

My wedding we had 8 attendants, 4 on each side, and about 85 guests, but it was very cozy, and, yes, now I am going thru divorce proceedings just about 1 1/2 years later. Good thing his parents paid for it all, next time, i am thinking of the Queen Mary with a few close friends and family.

J. M. Stovall · Jun 28, 2007

For me it breaks down like this: every wedding I went to for people age 35 and younger was really big. Every wedding for the "older" folks (which was usually not their first wedding) was pretty small (me included)

.

Zig2k143 · Jun 28, 2007

J. M. Stovall said:
For me it breaks down like this: every wedding I went to for people age 35 and younger was really big. Every wedding for the "older" folks (which was usually not their first wedding) was pretty small (me included) .

Mmmm That works since I'm an old Bast(Edited before a bartender gets me) Fart... I'm a old fart.

be_lovely · Jun 28, 2007

Zig2k143 said:
Mmmm That works since I'm an old Bast(Edited before a bartender gets me) Fart... I'm a old fart.

Old Fart??? OK you fall asleep during movies, but other than that, you have more energy than me.

Zig2k143 · Jun 28, 2007

be_lovely said:
Old Fart??? OK you fall asleep during movies, but other than that, you have more energy than me.

Movie + Couch = Me Snoring. I think I stay away more when I watch a movie in bed.

be_lovely · Jun 28, 2007

Zig2k143 said:
Movie + Couch = Me Snoring. I think I stay awake more when I watch a movie in bed.

I wonder why............................................

Still have yet to get thru My Fair Lady & Gigi

Viola · Jun 28, 2007

I dunno that what my cousin had was a BIG WEDDING then. Because there was a lot of family there, maybe 200 people total, bridesmaids and groomsmen and a ringbearer and parents and grandparents walking down the aisle and all...but it wasn't ostentatious or a display of wealth or anything.

There was a lot of nice food and some pleasant dancing (can you legally have a Jewish wedding without a hora and a chair-dance?[huh] ) but it wasn't some crazy 80k thing at all. Just a lot of cousins driving in from out of state, and it was a daytime affair in the hall at the synagogue. Not drama, really.

Is that a Big Wedding?

-Viola

Pink Dahlia · Jun 28, 2007

I'm not married (sigh of relief). But if that dreaded day ever comes I'd like a nice small wedding. However, I am half Greek so I don't know if that's a possibility. [huh]

Edward · Jun 29, 2007

GoldLeaf said:
Luckily (or not, I miss not having a sense of family), I don't really know my extended family. My motto when deciding how many people should come was "If you aren't involved in my life on a regular basis, if you don't know my relationship with my fiancee to be able to celebrate if this marriage is a good idea or not, then you aren't coming."

Good for you! If (as seems ever incresingly more unlikely!) I ever do it myself, I'd like the idea of something in the region of 50 odd folks at dinner, and 100 (i.e. 50 more) for the evening do... as a max ceiling, anyhow, not a "must-reach." Certainly if ever I get married there will be a fair chunk of the extended family I won't invite, for the same reasons as yourself. TBH - though it may make me a bad person, I don't know - the relationships I have forged with my alternative family by choice are infinitely stronger and more real than what I have with a whole bunch of people I am coincidentally related to by blood. The easy way would be to go away, though I'd really miss the whole Church wedding gig.... living "abroad" is a bonus though - much easier to tell 'em we're keeping it small and just inviting immediate family. Not that I have to worry avbout this anytime soon, anyhow!

Tommy Fedora · Jun 29, 2007

Weddings have been big here for a long time. At least those that I have had the priveledge of being invited to. Big, as in EXPENSIVE.
My daughter has been pretty serious with her guy for a while and I expect an announcement to be a possibility in the future. Should I worry ?

GoldLeaf · Jun 29, 2007

Tommy, be honest and upfront with your daughter so she knows how much you feel comfortable with. Weddings are a gift, not a requirement. You shouldn't feel obligated to spend more than you can afford.

Once she knows how much you are willing to contribute, she can then make a choice. She can either have a wedding within the budget you laid out, or she can have a more elaborate wedding, and she can contribute the remainder. Especially if she is old enough to be out on her own with a good job (I don't know how old your daughter is). Be aware, a tight budget may mean a small guest list, and you may not be able to invite the people that you want, your daughter and her husband get priority on the guest list, not the parents

You would be surprised at the amazing things you can find on a tight budget. Many of the ladies here (myself included) did amazing things with a tiny amount. I refused to go into my married life saddled with debt from the wedding. I had a small, intimate wedding that was very elegant. Miss Dottie did amazing things with her wedding as well, I am in awe!

I paid for most of my wedding, and I did it in cash. I paid deposits a year ahead of time, and then made payments for the following 12 months. Since I did it a little at a time, it was affordable. My tax refund and a portion of my mother's also made a big difference. I had an ok paying job, but my mom let me continue to live at home (I was 25!) so that I could put the money toward the wedding instead.

That is my opinion, anyway

I read a similar response by Dear Abby not too long ago lol Good luck, and I hope your daughter is very happy!

NicolettaRose · Jun 29, 2007

Just to provide you with statistics, the adverage wedding today costs about 30K-60K

GoldLeaf · Jun 29, 2007

Nic - WHOA!

Mine cost .... 3-4k? Something alone those lines. Less than 5k, thats for sure. And even then I thought I spent a fortune! lol

Big Weddings, are they still around?????

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