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Remembering "Dad"

Honduran

New in Town
Messages
20
Location
Toronto, ON
Hey Guys (and Gals?),

I'm new here, but after getting acquainted with some of you via previous posts, I think I'll fit in. I have a relatively new found interest in vintage clothing and accoutrements, subsequent to the passing of my father in November, 2003. My nephew, a young lad just 20 at the time, wore a fedora that belonged to my father to his funeral, as a gesture of love and respect. Not only did he look sharp, the gesture brought a tear to my eye - it's something I would have wanted to do. Little did I know, though, that my nephew knew more about my father's penchant for collecting things than I did. He also had an appreciation for how stylish my father was, in his era, something I never did. I left home at 17 to attend university, and never moved back, and never realized my father stored his suits and hats and cuff links and everything else. My father was born in 1923, so his era as a young man was the 40's and 50's. Little did I know that when my parents moved to their last residence, in a retirement community, they had a house built, and it included a large cedar storage unit in the basement. My nephew knew of it, but I never did, until after my father's passing. You don't know how much I regret my ignorance...........

I've taken possesion of most of my father's personal possesions stored in the cedar closet - in fact, most are still there, to ensure safe keeping. The fedoras fit me beautifully, and I've started to wear some of them routinely. However, my father was a much smaller man than I am (5'8" versus 6'2"), so the suits and jackets (even a tux!) would never fit. Most of the suits were custom made by "Leon the Tailor" in Montreal (where I grew up), something I distinctly remember because that's where my father took me to have my first suit made to measure. I can't speak for the quality of the cut, but I think the cloth is top notch.

Judging by the afficiandos here, I'd like to offer some of the suits and jackets to anyone who promises to take proper care of them - assuming they'll fit you. I'd be more than happy to post photos and any other information you need, but I haven't figured out how to do that yet (I'm new, so take pity). I'd be happy to share additional details as to the other things found in the cedar closet, but I'll wait to see if there's any interest first.

Thanks for reading this far, and look forward to getting to know everyone (or at least the sane ones! :p

Cheers,

Brian
 

Johnnysan

One Too Many
Messages
1,171
Location
Central Illinois
Brian,

Welcome to Lounge and condolences on the loss of your father. I'm also 6'2", so unlucky me. I have no doubt however, that you will have many eager responses to your exceptionally kind offer. What a great way to introduce yourself to the group - by bearing gifts!

Again, welcome and enjoy! :cheers1:
 

scotrace

Head Bartender
Staff member
Messages
14,376
Location
Small Town Ohio, USA
What about the vintage-interested nephew?

My condolences on the loss of your father.

Welcome!

Perhaps these things might best go to your nephew, who has an appreciation and is in the family? Just a thought. No objections here to having them shared!

Matt: You'll remove that hat respectfully, I'm sure?
 

Honduran

New in Town
Messages
20
Location
Toronto, ON
Thanks

scotrace said:
My condolences on the loss of your father.

Welcome!

Perhaps these things might best go to your nephew, who has an appreciation and is in the family? Just a thought. No objections here to having them shared!

Matt: You'll remove that hat respectfully, I'm sure?

Please note that my nephew is taller than I am, about 6'3". He's selected a few hats, cuff links, tie pins, and other items. I'm not giving away anything that hasn't already been discussed and agreed to within the family. As no one can use the clothing, I just though some of you might appreciate it. I'll take pictures and measurements (as best I can) this weekend.

Cheers,

Brian
 

Oscar Tong

Familiar Face
Messages
76
Location
Vancouver, BC, Canada
Another Vancouverite?!

Wow, another Vancouverite! Perhaps there is hope for this city, after all! Welcome, Brian.

For off-the-shelf suits and sport jackets, my sizes are 42R for the jacket, 36 for the waist of the trousers, and about 34, I think, for the length of the legs of the trousers. My height is 5' 11". I suppose I'm too tall—probably also too bulky—for your father's clothing, too. Ah, well. Maybe I can use one of your father's suits as a model, a point of reference. Thank you for your generous offer.

==========================

Hey, Matt, at a funeral, when am I supposed to remove my hat?

—Oscar Tong
 

ADGENTNC

New in Town
Messages
30
From one new guy to another, welcome to the lounge! I can't wait to see the pictures of this stuff...

AD
 

scotrace

Head Bartender
Staff member
Messages
14,376
Location
Small Town Ohio, USA
Grand Idea

Honduran said:
Please note that my nephew's selected a few hats, cuff links, tie pins, and other items... ... I'll take pictures and measurements (as best I can) this weekend.

Cheers,

Brian

The best of both worlds, then.
And that avatar is really great stuff.
 

Honduran

New in Town
Messages
20
Location
Toronto, ON
A Sincere Aplogy

Guys,

I'm writing this from southwestern Ontario, from my mother's residence. I arrived Friday, eager to begin a thorough examination of the treasure chest that is the cedar closet in the basement. I'd never really taken inventory, never appreciated the value, and I'm beside myself with grief. Unbeknownst to me, my mother donated all of the clothing (suits, sports jackets, top coats, fedoras) to Goodwill about 6 months ago! I'm shocked, not knowing if I grieve for the lost opportunity to reconnect with my father, or for not ensuring my wishes to preserve the contents were understood.

If that weren't enough, she's also had all of the really valuable jewelry (gold cufflinks and tie pins, some with precious stones) melted down and re-made into jewelry for herself. I understand her right to do all this, but a part of me may never forgive her.

I want to make a sincere apology to each of you who expressed interest in my father's wardrobe. I hope you'll forgive me for offering something I can no longer deliver.

As to my avatar, that's Dad and me - I guess all I really have left are the memories. The most valuable things of all.

Cheers,

Brian
 

Canadave

One Too Many
Messages
1,290
Location
Toronto, ON, Canada
Honduran said:
...Unbeknownst to me, my mother donated all of the clothing (suits, sports jackets, top coats, fedoras) to Goodwill about 6 months ago!...

I feel terrible for you. You did get a few fedoras before your mom donated them, right?

David
 

PADDY

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
7,425
Location
METROPOLIS OF EUROPA
Awww Brian...

I'm totally gutted for you. You must be going through a lot of conflicting emotions right now and this will just add to it all. I'm so sorry to hear about this, you must feel hurt.
 

Johnnysan

One Too Many
Messages
1,171
Location
Central Illinois
Honduran said:
Guys,

I'm shocked, not knowing if I grieve for the lost opportunity to reconnect with my father, or for not ensuring my wishes to preserve the contents were understood.

Brian,

I'm sorry to hear about this and understand how you must feel. Losing your father's things must have rekindled the feelings of loss you had for him. It's very unfortunate that your mother did not understand how her actions would affect you. Though, to be fair, people react differently to loss. It could be that having your father's clothing around was too painful a reminder for her of her loss.

Honduran said:
I want to make a sincere apology to each of you who expressed interest in my father's wardrobe. I hope you'll forgive me for offering something I can no longer deliver.

Although I was not one who stood to benefit from your generous offer, I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that there is no need to apologize. You made the offer in good faith and were prepared to honor it. You needn't apologize for circumstances that were beyond your control. Besides, your loss is surely greater than any of ours...

Honduran said:
As to my avatar, that's Dad and me - I guess all I really have left are the memories. The most valuable things of all.

Keep this thought foremost in your mind as you move forward. It will help you reconnect with those things that made your father special to you. This is a great photo of the two of you and a nice tribute to the memory of your dad. Be well and don't let this be your last post on the Lounge!
 

Honduran

New in Town
Messages
20
Location
Toronto, ON
Heartfelt thanks

I want to thank each of you for your kind words. I felt awful, and slightly embarassed, that I'd made an offer and wasn't able to deliver. I wasn't sure how people would react. I have renewed faith in human nature after reading your generous posts.

Canadave - my nephew has three fedoras that belonged to my father. Perhaps he'll let me wear one from time to time. By the way, in looking through older posts, trying to get acquainted with the board, my jaw hit the floor when I saw the pics of your awe inspiring Panama. One day I should be so lucky! But then again, knowing me, I'd be afraid to wear it, fearful of the sweat on my brow soiling the sweatband!

Thanks, again, guys! I hope to participate on this board regularly (gotta get beyond "New in Town".......)

Cheers - :cheers1:

Brian
 

scotrace

Head Bartender
Staff member
Messages
14,376
Location
Small Town Ohio, USA
Yeesh - what a shock

Must have been quite a surprise to find so many items gone. I'm sorry that happened to you at such an already emotional time. Having lost both parents myself, I know it can leave nerves kind of frayed.

Your dad was a handsome guy!
 

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