Oh Dear Me...

happyfilmluvguy · Nov 26, 2007

That could be the case, as well. This is much more than a subject for me. It's a way of seeing through the eyes of people. Many are learning from each other from a historical aspect here, why not a personal one?

I'm curious and I'm hoping those who have responded will return, but after reading everyone's and your own response, would you consider taking a step further and improving your social skills?

Julius Xavier · Nov 26, 2007

Shy?

Seth,

It was wonderful meeting and hanging out with you on board the ship on Saturday night.

As far as being shy? This may or may not shock some people that have met me in person but I am completely shy and self conscious. As an aspiring actor I always find things wrong with multiple aspects of my life, from my appearance to the sound of my voice, sometimes to the point it hinders my life. Always feeling like people are judging me or that I'm not good enough.

So I find to counter balance this I come off with alot of bravado. Mainly it's me acting.

So Seth there are tons of people who feel the same as you. Some worse then you. But if your as friendly as you where to me on board the ship then you should have no problem meeting new people and becoming friends with them.

-Julius Xavier

Novella · Nov 26, 2007

I was the kind of kid who talked to everyone, loved public speaking. I've become more introverted the older I've gotten, but I think it mostly has to do with social laziness and tactfulness more than shyness. I generally still have no problem talking to anyone about anything (except for professors, they often intimidate me). Sometimes I'll get nervous before going places to hang out with people (especially people I don't know very well, or at all), but once I'm out somewhere I'm generally fine. When I get nervous about talking to people, I ask myself why I have fear and whether the fear is justified. Anxieties are only there as long as I'm supporting them by feeding the flames, and deconstructing them puts them into perspective for me. And I laugh a lot, often at myself. As long as I can laugh at myself and still respect myself, things become less intimidating. I say/do dumb things in front of other people all the time - those who are really my friends understand this and just accept it as part of who I am.

Though I do have an irrational dislike of the phone. I prefer talking to people in person.

Ada Veen · Nov 26, 2007

Novella said:
I say/do dumb things in front of other people all the time - those who are really my friends understand this and just accept it as part of who I am.

Who would want a friend that didn't say dumb things? Sounds pretty boring to me...

Though I do have an irrational dislike of the phone. I prefer talking to people in person.

I don't like phones either! Weird.

pretty faythe · Nov 26, 2007

Julius Xavier said:
As far as being shy? This may or may not shock some people that have met me in person but I am completely shy and self conscious. As an aspiring actor I always find things wrong with multiple aspects of my life, from my appearance to the sound of my voice, sometimes to the point it hinders my life. Always feeling like people are judging me or that I'm not good enough.
-Julius Xavier

Me just trying to figure out what you'd find wrong with your appearance?[huh](aww the invention of the internet, something I'd more than likely never say in person lol) And, yup, I've felt that judging thing too....arg. Another thing I am trying to grow out of.

AmateisGal · Nov 26, 2007

Oddly enough, I've went through different phases of being "shy." In high school, I was quite the introvert. I stayed home from high school basketball games to work on my latest short story. I didn't party. I had a select group of friends I hung out with and if that dynamic ever changed, you wouldn't hear a peep out of me.

When I went to college, something changed and I suddenly became this big social butterly. (As my dad calls it, though, "All hell broke loose." lol ) I didn't have a problem talking to strangers, could go up to just about anyone and strike up a conversation, etc. At the bar, I would go from one group of friends to the next and be able to get on just fine.

Then I got married and the dynamic changed again. When I went back to grad school at the age of 27, married, and with a two-year-old, I was painfully shy just because I wasn't the "norm." I didn't go to their get-togethers at the bar because I had a daughter to take care of (and a husband who lived 450 miles away). I really felt that I didn't "fit in" with the other grad students, though I did manage to make a friend or two.

Now, I'm very introverted unless I'm with a group of people that I know really well. If not, I am a complete wallflower. I also hate to talk on the phone, but I'm not afraid to send an email to someone I don't know.

Strangely enough, though, I can pull out that "extrovert" personality if I need to - for example, I gave a talk on Veterans Day to a senior citizen center and had no problem talking to the people at all. In fact, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

That's me, though - I think I'm more comfortable around senior citizens than people my own age! Not sure why that is.

Novella · Nov 27, 2007

Ada Veen said:
Who would want a friend that didn't say dumb things? Sounds pretty boring to me...

I agree!

Diamondback · Nov 28, 2007

Does "geeky" count in that vein?

lol

fatwoul · Nov 28, 2007

Wherever possible, I avoid people. People and me are best kept in seperate containers.

katiemakeup · Nov 29, 2007

Oh Seth! I feel the same way at times, but like Tony~ I think it gets better as you age. I am a completely different person than I was 10 years ago (thank goodness) and a lot of times we are all preoccupied what other people might think of us... yet in reality others are too wrapped up in their own insecurities to notice!

It can be intimidating to be in a group of people that you don't know... But it seems as if you have a lot to offer~ we should all be telling ourselves this.

Miss Brill · Nov 29, 2007

The best way to get over shyness is with a klonopin, which is what they give for panic attacks. You can use them as a crutch for awhile & then you can wean yourself off them again, and you'll be used to being more outgoing.

I like smiling first when people look at me, no one can dislike me when I smile, I have dimples.

Diamondback · Nov 29, 2007

Miss Brill said:
I like smiling first when people look at me, no one can dislike me when I smile, I have dimples.

I'd be tempted to issue a "prove it" challenge,

but I've used up my "nerve" allotment for the day.lol

missmelly · Nov 29, 2007

Can everyone who has commented on this thread visit me in Portland? I'd throw a soiree and we can all leave this shy/self-concious business at the door. Cocktails would be provided, of course.

I too, am self-concious and have a difficult time maintaining a conversation with a stranger. I have found that ice breaker questions have a higher success rate such as "What's the most important thing that happened to you this week?" or "If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?".
Posing querky questions that give the other person a chance to talk about themselves are a great way to keep a conversation going.
So, with that said...If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?
.:Miss Melly:.

Miss Crisplock · Nov 29, 2007

At the moment, Portland to meet the dear Miss Melly

Foofoogal · Nov 29, 2007

:eusa_clap I found the perfect Christmas present to all the shy people and friends on FL. Especially you Seth. :eusa_clap

http://www.johnmayer.com/home

"Say" by John Mayer. I am an old lady and I love this guys singing.

Push the media player button for Say!

Blessings. Sandy

happyfilmluvguy · Nov 29, 2007

Does it matter than I don't celebrate Christmas?

I don't need a Christmas gift. I can read this thread and be jolly all year round.

Great song, by the way.

Foofoogal · Nov 29, 2007

Ok. All year round song then. lol

happyfilmluvguy · Nov 30, 2007

"Say what you need to say, all year round!"

Are there any more shy persons out there?

MrNewportCustom · Dec 2, 2007

I'm kind of odd (those who meet me think so, anyway, whether or not they tell me. lol) in that sometimes I'm an introvert and other times I'm not. A few people is easy for me and large crowds turn me off, but I still try to talk to at least a couple people. My problem is, I tend to end up talking to ONLY those couple people, and then I start thinking that maybe I'm ruining their time.

Odder still, when I was in high school, I couldn't get a date to save my life (I'm still floundering there, lol), but most of my friends were the most beautiful girls on campus. A lot of guys were jealous that I was always talking to girls they wanted to date, while at the same time asking me why I wasn't dating any of them. The ability to talk to women helped a lot in college when I was doing fashion photography, but I still rarely dated any gal I'd photographed. In fact, I can count on two fingers exactly how many of my models I'd actually went on a date with (Cindy and Pam).

I used to be able to approach any lady and talk to her, but damned if I can ask her out on a date. Lately, though, I haven't even tried. Oh well. [huh]

Lee
________________________

So, I just laugh at myself. lol

happyfilmluvguy · Dec 2, 2007

Perhaps you separate work and play?

Oh Dear Me...

Call Me a Cab

One of the Regulars

Practically Family

Practically Family

One Too Many

I'll Lock Up

Practically Family

I'll Lock Up

Practically Family

Practically Family

One Too Many

I'll Lock Up

One of the Regulars

A-List Customer

Banned

Call Me a Cab

Banned

Call Me a Cab

Call Me a Cab

Call Me a Cab

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