Today I am a "Ma'am"

Lillemor · Nov 9, 2009

Caity Lynn said:
I was called "Lady" today lol

at work the guy was like "I'm talking to the lady behind the counter, both ladies actually"

my co-worker is almost 50

I'm ignorant. Did 'lady' go out of daily use? When? It must've been after 1997. No, I'm not joking or intentionally being insulting. It's a genuine question.

I've been called lady from 1991-1997 which were the years I lived in the U.S. the last time (also shortly in the late 70s).

C-dot · Nov 9, 2009

Lillemor said:
The Dutch tend to have good language skills and I think they're less likely to have a very clear foreign accent than us Danes but that's just my experience.

My mistake - I meant to say Danish. The Dutch don't have an obvious accent to me, either, but Danes do

Audrey Horne · Nov 10, 2009

Is there a correct age?

For those ladies who are offended about being called ma'am, at what age or life status do you think it's appropriate?

*Edited to add life status

C-dot · Nov 10, 2009

Audrey Horne said:
For those ladies who are offended about being called ma'am, at what age do you think it's appropriate?

Upon further reflection, ma'am would not offend me if I were an obviously middle aged lady (55+) with kids and accomplishments. Ma'am is a truncated version of Madam, and Madams to me are ladies who's age earns them the respect of the title.

I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks.

Miss Neecerie · Nov 10, 2009

C-dot said:
Upon further reflection, ma'am would not offend me if I were an obviously middle aged lady (55+) with kids and accomplishments. Ma'am is a truncated version of Madam, and Madams to me are ladies who's age earns them the respect of the title.

I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks.

See I don't feel like a Ma'am...because I am single and don't have kids and so forth....

But I have merely become resigned to it...because the only other option is to go around correcting everyone like a giant -old- crabby lady...which just pretty much cements that I was a ma'am in the darn first place...

For what its worth...I am 39....

Barbigirl · Nov 10, 2009

In Spanish

Last night at a new mexican restaurant it was the first time anyone ever called me Senora

Never occurred to me that that would make me wince!

Anwen · Nov 10, 2009

I'm mostly happy so long as I'm not being called Sir, that hasn't happened in a while though, but considering how, um, well-endowed I am, it happened a lot when I was a little younger... I get the occasional Madam (Ma'am isn't in general use here, it tends only to be said by butlers in plays, or people who are addressing the Queen...) and am sometimes referred to as The Lady by people (I have a walking stick so occasionally people will tell their kids to be careful of The Lady or something).

Lovely Leah · Nov 11, 2009

I started using a cane (walking stick for UK friends like Anwen) while still in college. By the time I was in the workplace in my mid-twenties, I was called Ma'am far more frequently than most women far older than me. I dressed very appropriately for a twenty something & mostly socialized with my own age group. Maybe using a cane ascribes gravitas and maturity to even the youngest of users.LOL

LuckyLady · Nov 11, 2009

I've gotten a "madame" once in a high-end clothing store.

The Shirt · Nov 11, 2009

See I don't feel like a Ma'am...because I am single and don't have kids and so forth....

But I have merely become resigned to it...because the only other option is to go around correcting everyone like a giant -old- crabby lady...which just pretty much cements that I was a ma'am in the darn first place...

For what its worth...I am 39....

Um ditto. I feel way too young in my head to be considered a ma'am because I don't have the traditional trappings of say perhaps my mother. So I am still a Miss in my head. The first time I heard it was from a young, young fella in a retail environment and it stopped me dead in my tracks. I corrected him and begged him to call every woman in the future a "Miss" because nobody wants to be considered old. I scared him. And then yes - I felt like the crabby old lady who tells those darn kids in the street to cut out the racket!

ShoreRoadLady · Nov 11, 2009

I'm in my 20s, and hardly feel like a ma'am. But I've heard it several times recently, along with "miss", from retail people. Maybe everyone's become more polite as a result of the recession?

Foofoogal · Nov 12, 2009

I still find this thread funny and interesting. I am in my early 50s and call young unmarried ladies ma'am. It is all a way of showing respect. If a woman in a restaurant or store brings me something I will say thank you ma'am.
So different other places I guess. Maybe I am getting to be an antique. lol [huh]
http://sandysfancypants.blogspot.com

SayCici · Nov 12, 2009

I live in the false South (Virginia, and Northern at that), so I relish miss, ma'am, whatever I can get. The intent is all good and I appreciate it.

ThesFlishThngs · Nov 12, 2009

Other than saying 'hey lady', anyone addressing a woman in today's society risks saying something offensive, and being accused of making presumptions.
Miss = young and/or unmarried.
Mrs. = married.
Ms. = none of your business, but still seems more a term to be filled in on questionnaires rather than a term of verbal address.

A lot of women don't like having their identities or titles mixed up with their relationship status, not to mention, in the case of addressing a stranger, one has no idea about such a status (or lack of one).

Amongst military types, old school gentlemen, and cowboys ("Howdy, ma'am", with a tip of the hat), ma'am is a respectful term of address for an adult woman. Or at least that's always been my experience.

Viola · Nov 12, 2009

In my regrettably short stay in the Navy I got very tired of being referred to as female, as in "hey, female!" and my friends and I would secretly and rebelliously refer to each other as ma'am.

LizzieMaine · Nov 12, 2009

My mother's favorite was always "Miss Lady," as in "Don't you take that tone with me, Miss Lady, or you'll be pickin' your teeth up off the floor."

23SkidooWithYou · Nov 12, 2009

ThesFlishThngs said:
Amongst military types, old school gentlemen, and cowboys ("Howdy, ma'am", with a tip of the hat), ma'am is a respectful term of address for an adult woman. Or at least that's always been my experience.

Good point! I guess I also make allowances for the person addressing me. I would never be upset if an enlisted man/woman referred to me as Ma'am. It reminds me of "honey". A little old lady can call me honey, no problem but it always sounds demeaning coming from men my own age. Go figure.

LizzieMaine...My Momma didn't have time for two words so she got by with just plain old "Missy". lol

C-dot · Nov 12, 2009

ThesFlishThngs said:
Amongst military types, old school gentlemen, and cowboys ("Howdy, ma'am", with a tip of the hat), ma'am is a respectful term of address for an adult woman. Or at least that's always been my experience.

Interesting! I have seen female officers be referred to as "Sir." My soldier beau tells me it's proper. [huh]

ThesFlishThngs · Nov 12, 2009

I suppose a generic woman is a 'ma'am', while a woman of rank is a 'sir'? It gets complicated, doesn't it?

SayCici · Nov 12, 2009

C-dot said:
Interesting! I have seen female officers be referred to as "Sir." My soldier beau tells me it's proper. [huh]

Interesting! As far as I know, that wouldn't be kosher in the US.

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