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Clean Jokes

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Messages
11,097
Location
Germany
Two friends meet in the city.

"Woah, yesterday, we were at a heavy musician party and they had a golden toilet, I tell you!"

"What? Come on, you're kidding!"

"Nope, it was really golden! Come on, we're going to their house and I will show you!"

"Fine."

At the house, ding dong and a woman opens the door.

"Hi, I was at Manfred's party, yesterday and I wanted to show my friend your golden toilet, because he doesn't believe me.

"MAAANDFRED, here's the idiot, that shitted in your Tuba!!"
 
Messages
11,097
Location
Germany
In an open air bath the bath keeper watches three old ladies swimming very sporty, without a brake for an hour!

After one hour the first lady comes out of the water and the bath keeper says:
"My respect, Ma'am!"

"Young man, you know, I'm 70 years old and I was german champion in long-distance swimming."

After another hour, the second lady comes out of the water.
"My respect, Ma'am!"

"You know, young man, I'm 80 years old and I was european champion in long-distance swimming."


After another hour, the third lady comes out of the water.
"My respect, Ma'am!"

"You know, young man, I'm 90 years old
and..."

"Let me guess! You were world champion in long-distance swimming?"

"No, I was a prostitute in Venice and made house calls."
 
Messages
11,097
Location
Germany
A nun's car broke down and she's waiting at the roadside to get a ride. An Opel Manta driver comes by.

Nun: "Could I have a lift?"

Manta driver: "Of course! Batman's friends are also my friends!!"
 

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