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Clean Jokes

My Scooter

One of the Regulars
Messages
123
Location
Southwest Florida
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GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
8,566
Location
New Forest
A woman takes her dog to the vet because it has an ear infection. The vet cleans the dog's ear and treats it with antibiotic drops. He then says to the woman "That's fine now, but you are going to need to treat both ears with hair-removal cream every month from now on to prevent the infection recurring."

On the way home, she stops off at the pharmacist and asks for some hair-removal cream. The pharmacist hands over the cream and says "If you are using this under your arms, then avoid using deodorant for 2 days." The woman says "Oh, it's not for under my arms." "Well" says the pharmacist "If you are going to use it on your legs, don't shave for 5 days." "But it's not for my legs either" says the woman "It's for my Schnauzer." "Well in that case" says the pharmacist "Don't ride your bike for a week."
 
Messages
18,060
Location
Funkytown, USA
OK, I'm in a hurry, so just the punch lines:

"At these prices, I'm not surprised!"

"He reads lips"

"Because he doesn't want to be spotted"

"Because if they jumped forward, they would still be in the boat!"

"Who's that up there on the balcony with Leroy?"


Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week, try the veal.
 

Turnip

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,768
Location
Europe
I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden, but how am I supposed to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

That’s pretty simple because in Sweden you have to turn on your headlights anytime you’re about driving a vehicle, no matter what weather or daytime …:D
 
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