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Mr Vim

One Too Many
Messages
1,306
Location
Juneau, Alaska
For all you ladies that prefer tall men I have this one caveat... told to me by a recipient of the Medal of Honor... tall men are easier targets on the battlefield. That's a bit morbid I'm sure, but small men are more secure. Trust me, I'm a shorty.
 

HepKitty

One Too Many
Messages
1,156
Location
Idaho
HadleyH said:
I like heroes.

Strong men, men who risk their lives for others.... men who are not afraid of anything... that is what i find the most attractive in a man. Always have always will!

All the rest comes second.

sounds like military men to me... generally speaking of course
 

Chas

One Too Many
Messages
1,715
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Why do these discussions always look like the comparison of shopping lists? I don't want to sound like a wet blanket, but human beings are 3D. The perfect man might also have a long string of bad debts, angry exes and could make Don Draper look like a choir boy.

As far as men in uniform- a lot of military men are alcoholics, womanizers and are emotionally blunted; I know; I have served in the military briefly myself. Caveat emptor! That being said, there are good men in uniform, too. Goes without saying. Bravery and courage (of which there are many different flavors) is obviously attractive, almost certainly being primal in origin.

So, is this attraction thing about facial hair, core values, fashion sense or taste? A combination perhaps?

It seems to me that it is uniquely defined from one woman to the next, and it is also culturally defined as well. One woman's meat is another's poison. Some women even wanted to marry Ted Bundy.

Canvassing the various shopping lists, I see that the most common denominator is sense of humor. That's encouraging.
 

Edward

Bartender
Messages
23,690
Location
London, UK
Puzzicato said:
That's what I told him!

At least he has adopted the short crop.

Pick him up a set of clippers for home use (it's amazing how quickly they pay for themselves), then just gradually go down the guard grades.... less of a shock to the system than going all bald all at once.
 

Puzzicato

One Too Many
Messages
1,843
Location
Ex-pat Ozzie in Greater London, UK
Edward said:
Pick him up a set of clippers for home use (it's amazing how quickly they pay for themselves), then just gradually go down the guard grades.... less of a shock to the system than going all bald all at once.

We've got them. He won't let me help any more after I "accidentally" gave him a number 2 instead of a number 3...
 

Puzzicato

One Too Many
Messages
1,843
Location
Ex-pat Ozzie in Greater London, UK
Chas said:
Why do these discussions always look like the comparison of shopping lists? I don't want to sound like a wet blanket, but human beings are 3D. The perfect man might also have a long string of bad debts, angry exes and could make Don Draper look like a choir boy.

And there will be a bunch of women who love a bad boy and think no one understands him but them.

I know one man who has never had a partner with blue eyes "because blue eyes make them look like family" but few other people are that pernickity in real life, I think. I could even be persuaded one day to love a blonde man. Maybe.
 

HepKitty

One Too Many
Messages
1,156
Location
Idaho
Chas said:
Why do these discussions always look like the comparison of shopping lists? I don't want to sound like a wet blanket, but human beings are 3D. The perfect man might also have a long string of bad debts, angry exes and could make Don Draper look like a choir boy.

As far as men in uniform- a lot of military men are alcoholics, womanizers and are emotionally blunted; I know; I have served in the military briefly myself. Caveat emptor! That being said, there are good men in uniform, too. Goes without saying. Bravery and courage (of which there are many different flavors) is obviously attractive, almost certainly being primal in origin.

So, is this attraction thing about facial hair, core values, fashion sense or taste? A combination perhaps?

It seems to me that it is uniquely defined from one woman to the next, and it is also culturally defined as well. One woman's meat is another's poison. Some women even wanted to marry Ted Bundy.

Canvassing the various shopping lists, I see that the most common denominator is sense of humor. That's encouraging.

no one mentions money, I think, because it's a touchy yet shallow subject to discuss right off the bat. besides, I can't imagine anyone wanting to find someone specifically with tons of debt for whatever reason, not their fault or their own irresponsibility. so I think this one is implied ;) not saying they'd be ruled out for money problems, it's just not a quality that one typically looks for. just like no one here mentions long criminal records as attractive. now that's a given deal-breaker

if there is a long string of angry exes, they exes may be on to something... but Puzzicato is right, some women do love the so-called bad boys. it usually involves charm and illusion

yes there are some men (and women) in uniform who are utter dirtbags, as some stories here http://militarytimes.com/ tell. I think that because of history (and even the current wars and problems) we still associate the military with bravery and honor, and that's why they're attractive. it gets my attention anyway


yes this does seem to be a vapid window shopping list, doesn't it? I think that's the point

Puzzicato, you don't like blondes do you lol you crack me up!
 

Chas

One Too Many
Messages
1,715
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Money IS important, there is another side to things that goes beyond the "golddigger" or "trophy wife" phenomena.

How one handles money says a lot about that person's maturity level and general emotional intelligence. A man who has a high debt load (bad debt) is probably impulsive and a little egocentric. I was pretty impulsive and immature with money in my salad days; the learning curve was not steep enough for my liking. Examining how a man handles his money is not necessarily shallow.

Just an opinion.

It's also worth noting that before the 20th C. marriage was very much an economic-based decision. The romance thing is pretty recent in human history.
 

HepKitty

One Too Many
Messages
1,156
Location
Idaho
Chas said:
Money IS important, there is another side to things that goes beyond the "golddigger" or "trophy wife" phenomena.

How one handles money says a lot about that person's maturity level and general emotional intelligence. A man who has a high debt load (bad debt) is probably impulsive and a little egocentric. I was pretty impulsive and immature with money in my salad days; the learning curve was not steep enough for my liking. Examining how a man handles his money is not necessarily shallow.

Just an opinion.

It's also worth noting that before the 20th C. marriage was very much an economic-based decision. The romance thing is pretty recent in human history.

agreed, it is important for relationships. but it's not the first thing that you notice either, unless they're wandering around flashing the $100s
 

Edward

Bartender
Messages
23,690
Location
London, UK
Chas said:
It's also worth noting that before the 20th C. marriage was very much an economic-based decision. The romance thing is pretty recent in human history.

Very true. In the eighteenth century, men of the Church were even known to advise taking a woman as your mistress rather than marrying her if she was outside your 'class'. Marriage was, traditionally, about forging alliances, land, and all the rest. That's where the 'best man' comes from: originally, should the groom die or default for any reason, the best man would be expected to step in, meaning the marriage and thus the political / economic alliance could go ahead. AFAIK, there is something of this in the origin of bridesmaids too.

Myself, I believe that nowadays society places far too much emphasis on superficial perceptions of 'romance', rather than a more rational notion of what makes a partner suitable for the long haul. [huh]
 

Nik Taylor

One of the Regulars
Messages
114
Location
Edge of Forever
HadleyH said:
I like heroes.

Strong men, men who risk their lives for others.... men who are not afraid of anything... that is what i find the most attractive in a man. Always have always will!

All the rest comes second.

There is an expression, if you know what your ideal is you are blessed; and if you have met that ideal in a person you are twice blessed.

Cherish every moment with your ideal person as if it were your last on this earth.
 

HepKitty

One Too Many
Messages
1,156
Location
Idaho
Nik Taylor said:
There is an expression, if you know what your ideal is you are blessed; and if you have met that ideal in a person you are twice blessed.

Cherish every moment with your ideal person as if it were your last on this earth.

sounds good to me...
 

Foofoogal

Banned
Messages
4,884
Location
Vintage Land
We've got them. He won't let me help any more after I "accidentally" gave him a number 2 instead of a number 3...
:eusa_clap lol lol

Done that and have pictures. At the time he had a beard. He looked just like the man in the magnet thing we had as kids that one could add hair and such. I laughed for days. He didn't think it was so funny and needless to say I no longer am allowed to do his hair.


So I prefer men who will put up with stuff like this. oops....:eek: lol
 

Mugwump

One of the Regulars
Messages
105
Location
Toronto, Ont.
Wow, Swinggal nailed it with her list of desireds :eusa_clap - except for the heighth thing. I'm 5' 8", and if he can deal, then so can I. I also agree that attraction and good looks are separate things. The ability to take care of himself is great (after all, I'm not going to be there all the time - go back to Mamma if you want that kind of woman in your life) lol
Looking through these I agree with Chaz to a point, they are shopping lists, but at least they aren't Christmas Wish-Lists (e.g. right down to the fine points of what someone wants - won't settle unless his nose is exactly 1/4" larger than mine :p )
:eek:fftopic: @ Diamondback - have you ever looked into Cognitive therapy? Kind of a DIY to help one stop thinking about all the bad points about themselves all the time (very basic description, please look it up) My therapist told me to use it after my nervous breakdown, and it's done me worlds of good...
 

Edward

Bartender
Messages
23,690
Location
London, UK
Mugwump said:
:eek:fftopic: @ Diamondback - have you ever looked into Cognitive therapy? Kind of a DIY to help one stop thinking about all the bad points about themselves all the time (very basic description, please look it up) My therapist told me to use it after my nervous breakdown, and it's done me worlds of good...

:eek:fftopic:

Agreed; I am a functioning depressive, and it has helped me enormously.
 

johnnyelvis

New in Town
Messages
28
Location
Florida by way of NYC.
Hmmm, we should open up an actual fedora lounge bar, with a strict dress code, just think of all the hunky guys you ladies could meet from here! haha

I know this has been talked about before but I use a lot of pomade in the hair which is a turn off for some girls.
 

HepKitty

One Too Many
Messages
1,156
Location
Idaho
johnnyelvis said:
I know this has been talked about before but I use a lot of pomade in the hair which is a turn off for some girls.

it's ok some girls like it. and the ones who don't won't be touching your hair anyway :p
 

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