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the decline of politesse

Pompidou

One Too Many
Messages
1,242
Location
Plainfield, CT
It's hard to argue with science. I'm quick to defend the current generation from undue condemnation, particularly when it comes to choice of dress, but there's no real rebuttal against the idea that verbal abuse is detrimental to healthy brain development. No arguments there. I suppose the logical followup to the article is, "What do we do about it?" I can't think of one realistic way to begin a widespread cultural change.
 

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,481
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
I have mixed feelings about this.

Media has (at least) three components: the form that media takes (television versus radio), the message (soap opera versus reality show and specific things that are being "said" in the show), and the context it is consumed in (the people who are watching it, how they approach media, etc.). The author seems to divorce the face that the message is separate from the context, and I'll give you an example. There are some people who watch profanity filled, sexually explicit shows because they can identify with the characters, there are some that watch them because they like to make fun of the characters, and there are some that watch them as moral lessons, etc. The message is carefully crafted by those who control the media, but how people read the message is up to them and their context. Adults and older children not just blank slates that absorb everything we see and hear and want to mimic what we see on TV.

I would bet that there were those who came from very different contexts and therefore saw the Cleavers in a very different light. I'm pretty sure that some of those old shows would cause me to sit down with a young child and have a discussion about what is right and wrong, idealizing what you see on tv, and what is the differences between reality and fiction just like I would have a similar discussion for some of the same prime time stuff today. There are probably some messages in those shows I strongly disagree with.

I will totally agree that growing up in a hostile home and school environment is bad for children. But I'm really not sure that environments have gotten more hostile for children on the whole.
 

HepKitty

One Too Many
Messages
1,156
Location
Idaho
It's hard to argue with science. I'm quick to defend the current generation from undue condemnation, particularly when it comes to choice of dress, but there's no real rebuttal against the idea that verbal abuse is detrimental to healthy brain development. No arguments there. I suppose the logical followup to the article is, "What do we do about it?" I can't think of one realistic way to begin a widespread cultural change.

Unfortunately I don't think that teaching that some people were put in in our lives as examples of what NOT to be would really be all that effective, even though that's what I tell my kids
 

martinsantos

Practically Family
Messages
592
Location
São Paulo, Brazil
About politesse...

Few weeks ago, in the subway. Two mid-age (around 50 y.o.) came inside the wagon, with lots of boxes, gifts, etc (just before christmas). I gave my seat to them. The two ladies started to say, in very loud voice: "oh, this still happens! Isn't marvelous?" and so on.

Long time since I became so rubish! :eek:

I can't say if there are any "chemical" question about politesse. My very first answer is "no". If you get a behavior as good, this is polite. Usually people do not give seats to older people because there are exclusive seats to them - so would not be wrong to stay seated, for example.

For me Mss Sheeplady is absolutely correct.
 

HepKitty

One Too Many
Messages
1,156
Location
Idaho
I can't say if there are any "chemical" question about politesse. My very first answer is "no". If you get a behavior as good, this is polite.

Stress releases a hormone called cortisol which in constant amounts isn't good for you

http://stress.about.com/od/stresshealth/a/cortisol.htm

My cousin's wife's comment is this (she's a school teacher): "So I read the article, very interesting! And very evident in a school classroom. Meet parents and you know exactly why certain children behave the way they do."

Though it is possible for people to overcome trauma and rise above the abusive behavior, but children need time and life experience to see that there are other ways in the world. When they are adults, however, they are responsible for their own actions.
 
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martinsantos

Practically Family
Messages
592
Location
São Paulo, Brazil
Though it is possible for people to overcome trauma and rise above the abusive behavior, but children need time and life experience to see that there are other ways in the world. When they are adults, however, they are responsible for their own actions.

Exactly. All the problem is that so much people think about only "my rights/my ways" - and the other can be only a kind of enemy or something like that. Politesse would be, then, the last thing to think about...
 
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