decoding the looks

[danofarlington]

No offense intended to anyone, but I think that once you get over being self conscious wearing a hat you don't notice that anyone looks at you in your hat any more than you notice them looking at you when you aren't wearing one.

Thanks.

I think I miscommunicated what I was trying to say in my question. It was asking how can you tell if your hat passes the test? I say it's by receiving looks, especially long looks. If your hat doesn't pass the test, everyone looks away. I was sort of looking for confirmation of that thesis. But everyone answered as if I were lamenting people looking at me, and how I shouldn't be embarrassed or care about it. So, I guess I'll say, I'm all accustomed to the thing, not lamenting looks or anything. What I do care about though, quite a bit, is whether my hats "pass the test." If not, I wouldn't want to wear them much. If they do, I want to wear them more. That may be an area where me and others at TFL differ. Anyway, all that just by way of clarification.

 

[Yeps]

People stare at me no matter what I am wearing, and have since I was about sixteen or so. This way I give them a good show.

 

[Tomasso]

But everyone answered as if I were lamenting people looking at me, and how I shouldn't be embarrassed or care about it.

Not I, DoA. I responded to this....

when I see a hat I like........I give it a long look, a very long look.

 

[scottyrocks]

Okay, then, for a positive response, I'll have to go with the acknowledgment that includes a longer look and even the dimmest hint of a smile and eye contact. Ive gotten it wearing fedoras and westerns, but never hatless.

 

[Tomasso]

BTW, I'd be careful giving long hard looks at dudes on the street or subway..........they may not understand you're a hat fetishist...I mean aficionado.

 

[randooch]

So, who's putting on the test? You sound very concerned about what other people think. If you worried about fleeting fads and considered them 'tests,' and tried to 'pass' all of them, it would be exhausting. Not to mention, you might find yourself wearing pants half way down your butt-cheeks, boxer shorts emerging from the top.

Thanks.

I think I miscommunicated what I was trying to say in my question. It was asking how can you tell if your hat passes the test? I say it's by receiving looks, especially long looks. If your hat doesn't pass the test, everyone looks away. I was sort of looking for confirmation of that thesis. But everyone answered as if I were lamenting people looking at me, and how I shouldn't be embarrassed or care about it. So, I guess I'll say, I'm all accustomed to the thing, not lamenting looks or anything. What I do care about though, quite a bit, is whether my hats "pass the test." If not, I wouldn't want to wear them much. If they do, I want to wear them more. That may be an area where me and others at TFL differ. Anyway, all that just by way of clarification.

 

[DRB]

I have been trying to build an array of very fine hats that are not too exorbitant or way out of the mainstream. I find that when I wear my finest hats with no sport jacket (casual shirt and jeans) that people do not give me a second look, not even a brief one. However, if I wear the same hats and wear my brown sport jacket, I get obvious smiles and even a little more politeness from strangers.

I am however 51 years old and only very slightly care if people like how I dress. I dress for me. I no longer wish to dress down. Perhaps this is how I express a midlife crisis? Some guys buy sports cars, I buy nicer clothes. I deserve to look good. When I was younger I would not have wanted to swim in the opposite direction of the other fish in the sea.

 

[danofarlington]

So, who's putting on the test? You sound very concerned about what other people think. If you worried about fleeting fads and considered them 'tests,' and tried to 'pass' all of them, it would be exhausting. Not to mention, you might find yourself wearing pants half way down your butt-cheeks, boxer shorts emerging from the top.

I love these controversies. I knew I'd stir the pot. To stir it further, I'll add that yes, I'm very concerned about what other people think, and even worse, am looking for positive notice with my hat-wearing! There, I've said it! I may be the only one. It may be frivolous, it may be undignified, but that is a main motivator for me personally. Otherwise, I'd wear a stocking cap, which receives no notice at all. If I have any luck now, the contrary opinions will fly! But, IMHO, what's a website for if someone can't take a position that everyone else rejects?

 

[monbla256]

I'm between 55 and 60
I'm between overweight and too overweight
I'm bent from 30-plus years typing for a daily newspaper
I drive a 27-year-old Chrysler
I'm gonna worry about whether someone is staring at my hat?
My Hat?
MY HAT????
For crying out loud!
My hat is the one thing that looks good when I leave the house!
If only the rest of me looked as good as the hat!

Whew ... I'm glad to get that off my mind.
Thanks,

Sam

LISTEN TO THIS MAN !!!! Forget about the "test" Ther is NO "test" ! Get the hat(s) you want, put 'em on your head and go out the door

 

[Edward]

I agree with jlee562; living in a big city (he in S.F. and I in NYC) there are certainly no shortage of uniquely outfitted individuals. I see young hipsters wearing "stylish" wool knit hats in summer and the "I hate hat" crowd strolling around in sub-zero winter weather completely bare-headed. It takes ALOT to get a double-take from a New Yorker!

Ha. NYC is the only place I've ever seen someone wearing a three-hole ski mask outside of a terrorist propaganda video or news footage of a paramilitary funeral. lol

No offense intended to anyone, but I think that once you get over being self conscious wearing a hat you don't notice that anyone looks at you in your hat any more than you notice them looking at you when you aren't wearing one.

I'd agree. TBH, hat wearing is so 'normal' to me now, I only really would feel insecure not wearing one. When I'm staying with my folks over Christmas, I even carry a hat with me to Church to wear on the less-than-one-minute walk inside.

I do notice when someone else wears a nice fedora on the street, though outside of a specific event / gathering, I'd be highly unlikely to comment or engage them in conversation.

 

[martinsantos]

A worker here in my bulding always laugh laud when see me with a hat. I think he doesn't like hats - and I think that I don't like him.

In a big city usually people will think just "different" to use everyday a hat; but not more than this. Well, walking in downtown you will find punks, gothics, homeless people and ever using XIXth Century clothes.

 

[Pompidou]

I love these controversies. I knew I'd stir the pot. To stir it further, I'll add that yes, I'm very concerned about what other people think, and even worse, am looking for positive notice with my hat-wearing! There, I've said it! I may be the only one. It may be frivolous, it may be undignified, but that is a main motivator for me personally. Otherwise, I'd wear a stocking cap, which receives no notice at all. If I have any luck now, the contrary opinions will fly! But, IMHO, what's a website for if someone can't take a position that everyone else rejects?

I care about what others think as well, though what I would like them to think is highly case specific. I'm usually pretty deliberate about the sort of persona I want to project. When I'm seeing what someone is probably thinking, I mostly look at facial expressions. I use the length of the stare to get some idea of the magnitude. That first impression face is hard for a lot of people to hide.

 

[barrowjh]

I often see the long look, especially from women, and I think it is because they wonder if I am someone famous (presuming only an exhibitionist actor would wear such a hat). As I get closer and they can see my face a little better, I swear some of them snap their heads around so fast they probably have to go see a chiropractor the next day! Hoping I hadn't seen them staring, and if I did, sending a message of 'forget it buster!'

A slight acknowledgement from men if they like the hat, and sometimes someone actually asks me where I bought it. There are so many cheap knock-offs out there, especially right now - men's winter wear stocked for christmas gift-buying, wool aussie-style hats with brim down in front and back (snowy river, hunter-downer, various names for it), and those tacky stingies with pin stripes, etc. I think quite a few folks just presume my hats are something that wasn't stocked in the department store on their side of town, and either they are energetic enough to ask where I got it or they just presume that they will bump into a rack of them somewhere eventually and therefore show no particular interest.

 

[jimmy the lid]

I often see the long look, especially from women...

Especially, from Lassie...

(You just can't seem to shake your dog-whisperin' past...)

 

[fluteplayer07]

I generally don't give a care with what others think or say. I always tell people, 'I dress this way for myself'. Not to impress anyone. To preserve history, but also to show my respect for it. I appreciate the better parts of how things were... More meaningful, more personal. Obviously I cannot rewind history and place myself in it, or change the attitudes of others. But this part of me; this wishful thinking, still exists in me. So vintage is the manifestation of this desire; a metaphorical way for me to remind myself of the value of history.

So, that said, I don't mind the occasional head nod and smile, or even tip of the hat from another hat wearer.





Cheers,

 

[Michaelshane]

I'm between 55 and 60
I'm between overweight and too overweight
I'm bent from 30-plus years typing for a daily newspaper
I drive a 27-year-old Chrysler
I'm gonna worry about whether someone is staring at my hat?
My Hat?
MY HAT????
For crying out loud!
My hat is the one thing that looks good when I leave the house!
If only the rest of me looked as good as the hat!

Whew ... I'm glad to get that off my mind.
Thanks,

Sam

Best of the year.......!!

 

[barrowjh]

Yes, JTL, especially from Lassie! My daughter's dog is named Moby (my daughter apparently liked that band at one time) and whenever they visit, I gladly take over the dog-walking duties. Dogs learn to recognize certain signs with only a few repetitions; she goes nuts whenever I put a hat on (because she knows she's going outside for a walk!).

 

[CharlieB]

Yes, JTL, especially from Lassie! My daughter's dog is named Moby (my daughter apparently liked that band at one time) and whenever they visit, I gladly take over the dog-walking duties. Dogs learn to recognize certain signs with only a few repetitions; she goes nuts whenever I put a hat on (because she knows she's going outside for a walk!).

Funny how they learn the signs. For our two, it's when my wife swaps her clogs for her sneakers. (I guess they know I wear the hat any time I go out, not just with them!)