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For the Guys too-Dancing:What to wear, what to bring...

chanteuseCarey

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,962
Location
Northern California
Here is Inky's original post and most of my reply, I'm flinging this from the Powder Room out to the OB cuz' well duh- just who do you think us gals wanna dance with?? Some of my reply is dance etiquette.

Bartenders, If I've done wrong by doing this instead of a move post by you guys- I'm sorry, new to FL here and still don't know how some of the post things operate...

[Quote INKY]
My hubby and I are taking our first ever swing dance lessons this Saturday evening then a "open dance" session for two hours (if we make it that long) afterwards. I want to be comfy and the instructor said to dress casual and nothing special was needed. I do have suede-soled shoes, but hubby doesn't (yet).
Any tips from you veteran swing dancers for us green newbies starting out on what to wear/shoes/etc?[/QUOTE]

Hey Inky! Good for you! I'm going to address mostly what you wrote on your initial post. FAIR WARNING to all --I'm throwing out my own very biased opinions here with being a long time social dancer, so if I step on any toes- hey it happens when dancing... deal with it.

(As background, I've been dancing and taking social ballroom lessons (all types of dances) and some western too actively and regularly since 1991. Met DH in an intermediate Viennese Waltz lesson. Had ballroom music for our wedding reception. Now our almost 13yo DS and almost 15yo DD go ballroom dancing and take lessons with us. I went as a single gal on my own for some time before I was married. I go often without DH when he has bible study- just the kids and me. Never had a problem with that. I have a number of single male dance friends younger and older than myself that go where we usually go that I dance with, I'll ask them or they ask me. Do take some lessons without him and kids- but where I know the crowd. My husband is a good lead as is our son, and I am a good follower with GOOD frame)

Casual for me is a dress with a full or full-ish skirt, or top with skirt combo, the skirt gives me room to move in and it flares nicely when I dance. A tight skirt or pencil even if it has a back slit doesn't cut it for real dancing. Short sleeve is best or sleeveless if you got 'em cuz' you'll get warm on the dance floor once you're moving around. Maybe add a sweater that you can layer on or off to start with. Men do notice and appreciate ladies that dress like "ladies" and who make the effort to dress attractively to go dancing. Guys are very appreciated by the ladies (and even their own wives) when they make the effort to dress nicely, ie. dress shirt not a t-shirt- and nice slacks.

Grooming matters for guys and gals- that means deodorant and breath mints. Gum smacking and gum chewing is really tacky- so better to lose the gum at the door.

Suede shoes or leather shoes is best. Some rubber and crepe soles especially will grip or catch the floor and cause you grief. Plus you can move more smoothly with the suede and leather soled shoes. Don't wear too high a heel, or your feet will be miserable- trust me on this one!! Leave the sexy and fancy super high heels at home. I wear no higher heel for dancing than your basic "character" tap type shoe.

FYI, saddles shoes, unlike the real two tone ballroom/swing dance shoes- say pure COSTUME, and is often perceived as I'm not a real dancer I just wanna look cute. Even for swing dancing, if you want the two tone spectator look- get the real McCoy. Many dancers also now wear what is called the "dance sneaker" with the high arch. Again get the real deal, don't wear your colorful converse sneakers.

Gals, especially if you are learning lindy hop/swing, hello- dance TRUNKS or bike shorts for under your skirts. Let's all dress like LADIES please. If you want to flash something when your skirt moves, you aren't there to dance in the first place. And the dancers will know it- so just don't. Swing and Ballroom Dancers don't take lessons and go dancing to show off what they've got or to look hot or to hit on someone- they are there to dance. Super tight and obviously sexy style clothes are not what people that go dancing wear.Really.

Guys, if you get really sweaty bring a hand towel to mop up with and/or even a second shirt to change into later in the evening. Your partners will appreciate you for it!

Uh, gals a word to the wise; if you want to wear a super fancy and slinky latin dress- 1) just don't. Nobody dresses like Dancing With The Stars out there for real. 2) you better KNOW how to dance- don't try to strut your stuff (dance moves and steps on the dance floor) if you ain't got it. 3)save the dress for an amateur latin competition-when you can dance at that level of competency. Even the amateurs and professionals that compte don't dress like that outside of competition unless they are doing a demo.

As I am still pretty new to real vintage clothing (only been wearing real vintage for like two months)- I wouldn't wear my irreplaceable vintage blouses or any close fitted sleeve vintage dresses and take a chance on tearing an armhole out. I have a lot of vintage inspired modern clothing that is very nice for dancing in- that's what I've always worn.

Ladies, If you are asked to dance, be polite. Be kind. Even though I am an intermediate level dancer I will dance if asked by beginning dancers. I'm there to enjoy dancing and encourage the guy dancers. And I can always learn more, always new steps an ideas you can learn from others. When with my hubby I'll usually dance with just him but sometimes not. We rotate in the lessons. Dancing with other guys makes you appreciate your own partner, and you'll become a better dancer by dancing with a variety of partners. Wives, you can always thank some man nicely and say something like, "thank you but its my date nite with my husband tonite. I'm dancing all the dances after the lesson with just him."
 

Paisley

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,439
Location
Indianapolis
I used the advanced search function, typed "dance" and selected "thread titles."

My take on what to wear:

Paisley said:
Preparing for the Class
Swing dancing (and lindy hop especially) is fast, sometimes athletic dance. Your shoes should have a sole you can pivot on, they should lace or buckle to stay on your feet, and they should be comfortable. Professional dancers might wear stiletto heels, but the rest of us find it easier to dance in padded, low-heeled shoes. As for vintage shoes, keep in mind that shoes take a beating on a crowded dance floor.

You should wear something you can move around in and you don't mind sweating in. If you wear a skirt, wear something under it that you don't mind other people seeing. Skirts fly up higher than you might think.

I wear a cotton skirt, t-shirt and plain, sueded tennis shoes I bought from my teacher.
 

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