I Was Howling By The End Of This....

[Senator Jack]

When this list was first going around back in the mid-90s it included this:

12. Her date was pleasant enough but she knew that if her life was a movie
this guy would be buried in the credits as something like second tall guy.


I had always thought this actually brilliant. Worthy of Ring Lardner.

 

[Joli7211]

Hi Folks,


23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with powertools.eek: )

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

The imagery in these sentences is discordant like the sun shining on a starless night. Although I have to wonder about the student who wrote #24... Maybe he watched too many horror movies?

 

[Fletch]

When this list was first going around back in the mid-90s it included this:

12. Her date was pleasant enough but she knew that if her life was a movie
this guy would be buried in the credits as something like second tall guy.


I had always thought this actually brilliant. Worthy of Ring Lardner.

It's also about the only actual metaphor in the lot. Even 9 and 15 are pretty much "like or as" constructions.

No wonder it got edited out. [huh]

 

[Senator Jack]

My only complaint about it is the use of was for the subjunctive were. Whaddyagonnado? Even the pros get that wrong.

 

[Atticus Finch]

My only complaint about it is the use of was for the subjunctive were. Whaddyagonnado? Even the pros get that wrong.

Interesting. I guess I should look it up, but what is the rule which requires the use of the subjective "were" in this case?

Thanks in advance.

Atticus

 

[Senator Jack]

Was is the indicative mood, meaning that something might have been a distinct possibility. Two years from now we may hear one of the current candidates complain, 'If I was president, this never would have happened.' Each of the candidates, realistically, could have been president, so the indicative form would be proper. I, on the other hand, have no shot at being president, and would therefore say, 'If I were president, I would have...,' thus making it a hypothetical situation. In the statement above, the girl's life could not be a movie (as she operates in reality), so it should be the subjunctive were . Did I explain that correctly?

Regards,

Senator Jack

 

[Brinybay]

Was is the indicative mood, meaning that something might have been a distinct possibility. Two years from now we may hear one of the current candidates complain, 'If I was president, this never would have happened.' Each of the candidates, realistically, could have been president, so the indicative form would be proper. I, on the other hand, have no shot at being president, and would therefore say, 'If I were president, I would have...,' thus making it a hypothetical situation. In the statement above, the girl's life could not be a movie (as she operates in reality), so it should be the subjunctive were . Did I explain that correctly?

Regards,

Senator Jack

Yes, you did, thank you. Now, if I were president, and you were my advisor, would you be able to instruct me on what the definition of is, is?

 

[Vintage Betty]

These were so funny that my fingers are still skipping keys on the keyboard from the laughter travelling all the way down to my thumbs; kinda like when you think you hear your spouse asking for you to take out the garbage, but your ears skip the important words like "can" and "you" so it doesn't get done.

Vintage Betty

 

[Ada Veen]

Hilarious! I loved them... especially the pinhole one.

 

[Atticus Finch]

Was is the indicative mood, meaning that something might have been a distinct possibility. Two years from now we may hear one of the current candidates complain, 'If I was president, this never would have happened.' Each of the candidates, realistically, could have been president, so the indicative form would be proper. I, on the other hand, have no shot at being president, and would therefore say, 'If I were president, I would have...,' thus making it a hypothetical situation. In the statement above, the girl's life could not be a movie (as she operates in reality), so it should be the subjunctive were . Did I explain that correctly?

Regards,

Senator Jack

Thank you, Senator. Yes, now I understand.

Atticus

 

[Badluck Brody]

Those are the best!!!

I like the one about Phil the best!!!

That and the one about chasing the kids with power tools.... Not that it happens in my house.... Much!