LizzieMaine
Bartender
- Messages
- 35,362
- Location
- Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
("All day he is running," marvels Mrs. Ginsburg. "Up and down the stairs, to talk at the door with the Schreibstein boy. It is like thunder, the sound of thunder, up and down and up and down. "Huh," huhs Sally. "I hoid t' thumpin', but I din'know what it was awlabout. An'nee din' say nut'n?" "What is mine business?" shrugs Mrs. Ginsburg. "If he tells, he tells, but it is not for me to esk." "Solly neveh says nut'n," nods Sally. "'till what'eveh's happ'nin' is oveh'wit'. "Leonora," diverts Mrs. Ginsburg. "Is she better?" "She's still got t' rash," sighs Sally, "but she's sleepin' betteh. Oh, she says t' tell ya, nex' time put t' chicken in wit' t'brawth." "Her appetite is coming beck," chuckles Mrs. G. "How's Misteh G?" queries Sally. "Oh," exhales Mrs. G. "He is not sick, but ME, he is making sick. All day long, the radio he listens. Soap operas. To "Helen Trent" he listens. To 'Ma Poikins.' To 'Our Gal Sunday.' And then, in the efternoon -- to 'Supermen' he listens. Such foolishness. 'Up Up and Away!' Away he should go, back to the shop." "Tis'll awl be oveh 'n'a few moeh days," assures Sally. "GANGWAY!" comes a thundering yell from the stairway, followed instantly by the careening form of Solly Pincus. The two women flatten against the Ginsburg door as Solly achieves the front entrance, and leans out a crack in the doorway for an energetic but low-toned conversation with Sammy Schreibstein. "It is not," reiterates Mrs. Ginsburg, retreating to her apartment, "for me to esk." "It is," frowns Sally, "f' ME...")
("That's roit," nods Uncle Frank into the phone. "Danny went oovar thar this aftarnoon, an'nee knoos who to ask faaar. Hm? Nooo, 'ee didn't take th' troock! --- Yess, yess, Oi knoo Sarrgeant Pincus waaanted ye t' ask, Oi ain't halllerin' at YOU, Sammy. Now, are ye SURE ye got th' name'a this Army doctaar roit -- good, good, that's th' way. Roit evry'thing doon. Good boy. Ahhhl roit, Oi'll call as soon as Oi hear fr'm Danny. Tell Sergeant Pincus -- well, Oi'll tell'im when Oi see'm. Thank'yee, son, ye doon well. All roit. G'byet'ye." "Well?" demands Ma as he hangs up the phone. "Is th' boy saaaaartain we got th' roit name?" "How many Army doctaaaars," sighs Uncle Frank, "named 'Fingerhood,' was in Naaarth Africa? Th' Saaargeant is sure it's th' same man that oooowes him a favaaar, an' it's th' same Doctaaar Fingerhood that's waaaarkin' at that Aaaarmy hospitall oot aan Long Oiland." "We're takin' an aaaahful chance," sighs Ma. "It's bettaaar," notes Uncle Frank, "than noo chance at all...f."
("Rickey Word Barrage." That's a nice way to put it.)
("Aw, you said I could break his back! I never get to have any fun!")
(CEE-MENT MIXER, PUT-TY PUT-TY!)
(Got run out of Park Place, huh?)
(It's a good thing Minnie Hauck passed away in 1929, because this would just k ill her.)
("I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse!")
(I prefer Spike Jones's H itler dirge -- "right in der Fuehrer's faaaaaaace!")
(Hey, who invited Clark Kent?)




