LizzieMaine
Bartender
- Messages
- 35,362
- Location
- Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
("Whatcha doin'?" queries Joe, entering the kitchen to find Sally with her head poked up the open dumbwaiter shaft. "She's a SPY," asserts Leonora. "She's SPYIN' on SOLLY PINCUS!"" "Keep quiet," hisses Sally. "I dowannobody t' heeh." Joe reaches into the icebox for an open can of tomato juice, and pours himself a glass as he considers his next question. "Why?" he finally inquires. "I wanna heeh," Sally replies, withdrawing from the opening and carefully pulling down the door, "if Lottie's sick." "Whyn'cha jus' ask?" shrugs Joe. "Cause if I DO," reasons Sally, t'kid'll PRETEN' she's sick! Jus' t'get Solly's GOAT!" "Huh? huhs Leonora, tipping her good ear toward her mother. "Neveh min'," mutters Sally, wiping the grime from the dumbwaiter off her face. "Anyways, I din' heeh nut'n. If she was sick she'd be screamin'eh head awff. An' you hoid what Docteh Katzman said, if we c'n get t'ru t'marreh, we'eh inneh cleeh. Ain'choo excited t' get backta woik?" "Even if we get outta heeh," notes Joe, "t' stoeh's still closed till Bink ain't contagious." "Oh," ohs Sally. "I din' t'inka t'at." "Sammy tol' me t'eh was a cawl from Ma t'day," Joe continues. "T'baby's real sick, an' Bink's takin' it pretty hawrd." "Din' t'ink she haddit inneh," marvels Sally. "I guess y'c'n neveh tell." "Lottie says Solly Pincus is in love wit' Bink Scanlan," injects Leonora, reaching down to greet Stella the Cat. "T'at kid," snorts Sally. "What a brat." "Solly ain't t' type," declares Joe. "Especially wit' somebody like Bink." "I t'ink," agrees Leonora, "t'at Lottie is stupid. But I hope she don' get sick..")
("I hoid," declares Miss Kaplan, "t'at evr'ybody in Joe's fam'ly is sick wit' a disease." "Eh," ehs Mozelewski, poring over his account books. "An' I HOID," Miss Kaplan adds, "t'at his wife is t' one t'at caused it. She was out runnin'eh mout' inna street an' a buncha goims flew right in, an' she come home wit' a reg'leh epidemic. We gotta do sum'pin!" "Eh," repeats Mozelewski. "An' I'll tell ya sump'n else!" continues Miss Kaplan. "I was oveh'rawn Rogehs Aveneh t'is mawrnin', jus' by c'wincidence, y'unnehstan', an' I seen'at stoeh a't'ez awl closed up. An' I'm jus' stanin'eh 'crawsta street, jus' mine'in my own business, an' I seen a cawr drive up an' I seen a guy jump out wit'a docteh's bag an'nee runs right in!" "Huh," huhs Mozelewski. "We gotta do sump'n!" repeats Miss Kaplan. "Y'can," agrees Mozelewski. "Go oveh'na awffice t'eh, an' gimme a new pencil...")
(If the baseball thing doesn't work out, I'm sure the Pasquels could have some fun with horse racing.)
(Throwing over a table? A whip? I had no idea Mr. Ryder was so religious.)
(The fake swami business is in fact highly regulated.)
(Sigh. And I ate an English muffin for supper.)
(Don't they have a law like that in Valley Stream?)
(I mean, what is it with the whips lately? I miss when Uncle Bim used to go around caning people.)
(His artistry has only thrilled thousands? Don't give up your day job, Hank.)
(Can't we have a good cyclone or a flood or a landslide or something?)




