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The Wifely Duties

Gee, I kind of long for the days when familes lived close to each other. My grandmother worked as did my grandfather. My father stayed with my great-grandmother as she lived directly across the street. It was seamless everyday. Even the dog went with him. :D His uncles lived nearby as well not to mention his great-grandparents.
 

LoveMyHats2

I’ll Lock Up.
Messages
5,196
Location
Michigan
Well written, and no offense taken whatsoever :)

Marriage really isn't seen as a partnership anymore, especially by men. The old "ball and chain" joke has become somewhat of a reality in their eyes. I'm not surprised at the high rate of divorce today, what with the whole female empowerment idea: Empowerment does not equal superiority. Women didn't want to be subservient to men, so why is society telling us it needs to be the other way around? How can you have a partnership that way?

The real ideas behind feminism has been butchered with time - Equality doesn't enter into it anymore, and look what it does to relationships. I think that's sad.


I know you and many other gals may see that in most relationships, but I may have to ask for a pass on that considering my marriage. You see I know I am far blessed with one of the most wonderful ladies on this earth. I seem to find a way every day to cherish her, and would feel badly if even one day goes that I am not giving her something special (even if it is to do the damned dishes), or a diamond necklace, ring, new purse stuffed with "I love you" notes in it.

Then there is the political side of our relationship. We have none. No politics, We are a team, and I actually and sincerely can tell you I value everything she thinks, says, desires and decides. We discuss things to know what each other thinks, we have no issues about really "knowing" what we feel. We enjoy doing what we do and how we do things. She is half my soul and a majority of my life. I do not recall even one single time that anyone would say I do not allow her to have the final say so, as it is about the same choice I would have made if role reversed. In making the choice to marry my wife, I knew I had one very lovely, sensual, smart, happy, educated woman to share my last drop of life with, and I know if you asked her what she thinks about our relationship she would mimic my very words. Not everyone has a canyon between them in a relationship. What and how we live daily is a reflection on the both of us, and we are as successful in this as we are in every other aspect of life, including business and outside interest.

I could hand my Wife a $50,000.00 check and tell her to hit it, take a vacation on her own...and she would not want to go. Not that I would want her to do so either, my point we enjoy and work well in all ways. She is not my slave, nor am I hers. But our hearts and life are working well as one. There is no "I" or me me me,. in things, but an "Us"!
 

scottyrocks

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,178
Location
Isle of Langerhan, NY
My marriage is a partnership, as well, for all the reasons you stated, LMH2. My wife and I are completely connected. We talk about everything and make sure that everyone is satisfied by the end of a conversation, otherwise we are not done. We worship each other and wouldn't have it any other way.
 

C-dot

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,908
Location
Toronto, Canada
It's lovely to know there are men out there like you two. I like to think I have the same sort of relationship with my boyfriend, but I know if I mention marriage he'll hit the road. Every single guy I know has that fear of marriage - To quote one of these guys, "the end of life as we know it."
 

LoveMyHats2

I’ll Lock Up.
Messages
5,196
Location
Michigan
It's lovely to know there are men out there like you two. I like to think I have the same sort of relationship with my boyfriend, but I know if I mention marriage he'll hit the road. Every single guy I know has that fear of marriage - To quote one of these guys, "the end of life as we know it."

There will be one fellow along the course of your life, you may already know him, maybe not. Yet this is what he will have in his mind and heart about you.

I would walk from one end of this Country to the other for her, will she notice my effort to say I love and want you above all life itself?

He will think of you beyond what you look like now, and know the inner part of you is as beautiful to him as the outer. His life will be low and meaningless without being in your immediate presence, and he will not smother you but will build you up within a smile and warmth like you have never known.

When you see that man, C-Dot, you will know it. As he will know it about you. It is a mystery, but it happens and that is when you can have the very most awesome joy and love in a relationship, the kind that you may dream for today.

Never allow something less then this become so rooted that you are involved to such a level with a relationship that would shield the right one from happening.

Until you do find that one special guy for you or allow him to find you, just enjoy as much as you can and do not allow yourself to get abused, used or hurt!
 

LoveMyHats2

I’ll Lock Up.
Messages
5,196
Location
Michigan
My marriage is a partnership, as well, for all the reasons you stated, LMH2. My wife and I are completely connected. We talk about everything and make sure that everyone is satisfied by the end of a conversation, otherwise we are not done. We worship each other and wouldn't have it any other way.
One of the most special words said, "we"...it is the "we", the "us" that is really going to make a difference.

One other thing that is very deep in my relationship, "we" have some faith in the Lord.
 
Messages
10,883
Location
Portage, Wis.
See, this baffles me. Guess it's because I'm from the old-school. I, for one, cannot wait to settle down, buy a house, have a family and live that 'American Dream' lifestyle, so to speak.

Every single guy I know has that fear of marriage - To quote one of these guys, "the end of life as we know it."
 

LoveMyHats2

I’ll Lock Up.
Messages
5,196
Location
Michigan
See, this baffles me. Guess it's because I'm from the old-school. I, for one, cannot wait to settle down, buy a house, have a family and live that 'American Dream' lifestyle, so to speak.
It will happen. I think some of us may look for it too hard, but you know, when it is the right time and right person, it all falls into place.
 

kamikat

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,794
Location
Maryland
It's lovely to know there are men out there like you two. I like to think I have the same sort of relationship with my boyfriend, but I know if I mention marriage he'll hit the road. Every single guy I know has that fear of marriage - To quote one of these guys, "the end of life as we know it."
It could just be the age of your social circle. When I was 25, we were the only married couple in our social circle. I thought none of the guys I knew would ever get married. By 35, all of them were married. I think the average age for getting married is getting older. Just hang on!
 

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,479
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
It could just be the age of your social circle. When I was 25, we were the only married couple in our social circle. I thought none of the guys I knew would ever get married. By 35, all of them were married. I think the average age for getting married is getting older. Just hang on!

This is quite true. When I got married there were very few people I knew who were married. About half the people I hung out with at age 25 are now married, and (most) of the rest I think are going to get married in the next couple years. (In fact, some of them have told me that they feel like there is increased social pressure on them to get married in the next couple years before they hit their mid or late 30s.)

I think a lot of people need to play around with and think over the idea of marriage first before they go ahead and "tie the knot." And if they see all of their friends getting married, eventually it seems like a good and logical thing that they get married too. I think it also helps for people to see that others in their 20s and 30s can pull off a good marriage through the examples of their friends. Some people need to see some examples before they make up their minds.
 

C-dot

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,908
Location
Toronto, Canada
When you see that man, C-Dot, you will know it. As he will know it about you. It is a mystery, but it happens and that is when you can have the very most awesome joy and love in a relationship, the kind that you may dream for today.

How touching :) Thank-you very much for that, it helps renew my ever fading optimism.

It could just be the age of your social circle. When I was 25, we were the only married couple in our social circle. I thought none of the guys I knew would ever get married. By 35, all of them were married. I think the average age for getting married is getting older. Just hang on!

I think you're right - and thank-you. It frustrates me sometimes, because I really don't want to wait until I'm in my late thirties to find the right person and get married. But it seems my only choice, short of dating a man 15 years older than me :rolleyes:

If/when it does happen, my wifely duties will be to foster that same loving alliance that's been mentioned here!
 
Messages
10,883
Location
Portage, Wis.
Thanks everyone.

Ha! I can tell you stories about some women I've been dumb enough to get myself involved with that would curl your hair! They're the reason that sometimes as I'm sitting all alone in this empty house, I go. "Could be worse, she could be here nagging at me right now."

I know the right one will come along, eventually. Just playing the waiting game in the mean time.

I think Tom will be fine...as long as he does not allow "Rosezilla" to get into his life and shred him in half!
 
Messages
15,563
Location
East Central Indiana
I suppose there are those of us that have a different concept of 'love'...or the mystical...mystery of finding the right one...and then knowing that "THAT' is the one. I tend to look at 'love'...as perhaps a little more involved. I remember meeting and dating my wife with infactuation. Similar interests..but yet so different in other ways. Sometimes opposites do attract? Enjoying each other....wanting to be with each other...sharing life(everything we did/do with one another)...rather than with anyone else. If she wasn't there to participate...there was great loss within most any new experience. However...life does get down to the basics...labor..struggles...irritations...the nitty gritty. Beyond infactuation...over these years..I 'learned' to truely love my wife...my partner. We had our children,together..shared the ups and downs...and did it our way..often reguardless of the world around us. When I look at her...I find deep appreciate and caring in my heart for who she was/is..and,probably most importantly,who she has become. For me this IS love. Also she has been willing to put up with me for 33 yrs. She is not a quitter..niether am I. The dedication was real and seemed to blossom throughout the years. Did I know for sure..right from the start..that she was absolutely the 'right one'? Well..I've seen many find a 'right one'..until the 'right one' did finally come along...uncluding me. I suppose 'love' can be different for each of us...and the 'you'll know the right one' idea as well. I think it is important to know especially two things...nothing is always a bed of roses....but then there is nothing that needs announce the end of the world either. I think that initual 'love'...liking similar things..dreams of a love...can turn into a more realistic carring and importance deep in the heart past starry eyed attraction. It's all in which holds the most importance. I like both...but if I had to chose just one..there is no contest.
 

LoveMyHats2

I’ll Lock Up.
Messages
5,196
Location
Michigan
I suppose there are those of us that have a different concept of 'love'...or the mystical...mystery of finding the right one...and then knowing that "THAT' is the one. I tend to look at 'love'...as perhaps a little more involved. I remember meeting and dating my wife with infactuation. Similar interests..but yet so different in other ways. Sometimes opposites do attract? Enjoying each other....wanting to be with each other...sharing life(everything we did/do with one another)...rather than with anyone else. If she wasn't there to participate...there was great loss within most any new experience. However...life does get down to the basics...labor..struggles...irritations...the nitty gritty. Beyond infactuation...over these years..I 'learned' to truely love my wife...my partner. We had our children,together..shared the ups and downs...and did it our way..often reguardless of the world around us. When I look at her...I find deep appreciate and caring in my heart for who she was/is..and,probably most importantly,who she has become. For me this IS love. Also she has been willing to put up with me for 33 yrs. She is not a quitter..niether am I. The dedication was real and seemed to blossom throughout the years. Did I know for sure..right from the start..that she was absolutely the 'right one'? Well..I've seen many find a 'right one'..until the 'right one' did finally come along...uncluding me. I suppose 'love' can be different for each of us...and the 'you'll know the right one' idea as well. I think it is important to know especially two things...nothing is always a bed of roses....but then there is nothing that needs announce the end of the world either. I think that initual 'love'...liking similar things..dreams of a love...can turn into a more realistic carring and importance deep in the heart past starry eyed attraction. It's all in which holds the most importance. I like both...but if I had to chose just one..there is no contest.
Well stated, and for me, to place into words, if possible, everything that comes to mind about it, well, it would take more than a book to do so.
 

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