A Young Girls Civil War Diary

[Puyallup Lee]

Hi,

To start with, i am a guy. For a little background I have been tracing my family history for about 50 years, since I was 16. Many years ago I was visiting with my sister-in-law's family and the subject turned to Genealogy. Jim, her husband, said he had a copy of an old diary one of his relatives wrote during the Civil War and wanted to know if I would like to copy it. Of course I said yes. I have since re-typed the whole diary and now it is in digital format and I can share it with everyone.

I had it up on a web site for a few years, but I changed hosts and it never did get put back up.

If you would like to really know what life was like for the girls and women during that War, I will post it for you in sections. There are 70 different pages. I will post page one so you can see if it is something you would like to read.

This is a manuscript of Lavina Kelley Delzell, a young bride in 1859 living in Missouri. Her husband went to fight for the South in the Civil War. The manuscript was madeup from her diary in 1932 by one of Lavina and John's children. There are 16 sections to the manuscript.

Section I, page 1/3

WHEN NORTH WAS WEDDED TO SOUTH


I am sure that my parents were not a bit superstitious about thirteen, or perhaps they had never heard of such nonsense. For on the 13th day of Oct. 1859, they stood in the presence of their

families and a few friends, and joined hands and took the solemn vows that made them, man and wife. As the Minister said, amid the hushed silence of the room, "Do you take this man whose right-hand you hold to be your lawful wedded husband? Will you Love, Honor and Obey him, cling to him in sickness, and health, and keep yourself to him, and to him only, until Death to you part?"

Lavina Kelley with equal dignity and seriously, answered, "I do."

Vows that were solemnly made and faithfully kept, but at what a price.

After the wedding supper, and a night at the bride's home, John Delzell took his bride on horse-back from her home at Ash Grove, Missouri, to his father's home near Bolivar, Missouri, where she was welcomed by his parents and friends.

When a short visit was over, they went to the little rented house they my father had been preparing. It was only rented to be sure, and the house was made of logs. Much laughter and many jokes were passed as father and his brothers and boy friends built it. Many were the prophesies concerning the future, and the future of it's coming occupants. But little did any of them dream what it's real future would be, and well they could not. For soon was all this comradeship and brotherly love to be shattered, and years would have to pass wherein hate and violence, death and destruction would hold sway over the better impulses of mankind.

So at last the house was finished, a small bit of a field was cleared and plowed. A little field of wheat was gleaming in the Autumn sun and it seemed that day as if every little bird was singing. "The bride is coming, the bride is coming." John and Lavina's hearts sang with them as the wagon jolted over the new rough roads. Ribbon and Dan, the horses even seemed to step proudly as they carefully picked their way over the rocks and small ditches, and tossed their heads proudly, as if to say, "at least we too are going to our new home."

John quickly built a fire in the big fireplace, and when the flames were dancing merrily, they began to unload the wagon. First off was the chickens, that Lavina's mother had given her, and were deposited in a small hen house with lively squalls and cackles. Boxes of dishes and bags of dried fruit, rolls of bedding, some home made chairs of white oak, and a beautiful drop-leaf table of walnut with turned legs, and then the chief ornament of the house, a real factory built rocking chair, the gift of the bride's parents. The high poster beds were corded together and placed in opposite corners of the room, with straw ticks placed first, and next a 2 fluff-feather-beds, and then sheets, quilts and pillows, the then Lavina turned to a small box, looked at John, who had just come in, and smilingly said, "Now I have a surprise for you. Do you remember the day you came to Pa's and ask for me, and I was so slow about coming into the room? Well, I had to change my dress and get my hands cleaned a bit, as I was busy dying the yarn for these, and I was blue all over."

She took from the box two handsome coverlets of blue and white, woven in the "True Lover's Knot" design, and put one on each bed.

While John stood looking proudly on knowing in his heart that he had gained the love of the sweetest, best girl in the world. But there was much to be done before nightfall. So with a hurried kiss and a laugh, John wanted to know "how long till supper."

"How like a man, always thinking of something to eat." And with a friendly spank, she sent him out to do the chores. Lavina removed all her dishes from the boxes and placed them in the little cupboard in the corner.



Section I, page 2/3

WHEN NORTH WAS WEDDED TO SOUTH

Also a small supply of foodstuff and prepared to cook the evening meal. Dear reader don't ask about the cook stove. It wasn't there yet. But a Dutch Oven was. Lavina soon had biscuits, coffee, eggs and with some butter and preserves added, it was an inviting picture.

When a bit later, John came in with a foaming bucket of milk. "Well, I have got all my work done and, I see a delicious reward is waiting for me."

While Lavina took the biscuits and eggs from the warm skillets on the hearth, John washed his hands, brushed his hair, standing before the small mirror which hung on the wall, and placed two chairs at the table, then both sat down and Lavina looked across the table and said, "John, will you give thanks?"

Thus began the first meal in the log-house of dreams. After supper they did the rest of the placing of things about, and twilight descended and the room grew darker, Lavina found a box of candles that all thrifty house wives keep molded and two on the mantle along with a volume of Moody's Sermons, and the family Bible, a gift of John's father.

John stirred up the fire, and they sat and dreamed and planned for the future, as countless of thousands of brides and grooms do, and will continue to do for Love Is Always The Same.

No carpets on the cottage floor, but Lavina kept its white ash boards scrubbed as clean as the chambers of her own true heart which she had given into God's keeping at sixteen years of age, and as John looked at the little curtains which were hung at the only window the room possessed; thread spun and woven cloth by Lavina's own hands. This one log became a royal chamber. His heart the throne whereon sat Lavina and Lavina only as his queen now and forever.

Oh Rosy Dawn! What the day bring? Many a day has a Rosy Dawn, a storm at mid-day and a peaceful sunset. Oh, little Log-house of Dreams will you stand amid the storms.

After much planning and when the fire had begun to burn low, John took down the Bible from the mantle, read the Psalm which ends with this, "For this God is our God forever and forever. He will be our Guide even unto death." (Psalm 48).

Lavina folded up the coverlet. John covered up the fire in the fireplace, and the lights were out in the Log-house of dreams.

Next morning up with the first streak of dawn, for there was not much to do. As yet no field of ground for corn had been cleared. So with his ax across his shoulder, John left for the woods and Lavina waved her hand from the door, and turned to wash the dishes.

At ten o'clock she put on her bonnet and with a pail of water, and a little lunch, she started for the clearing. When she reached it, John and she sat on a log and talked while he ate and rested. When John began work again, Lavina piled the brush in huge piles that would be burned when dry. Thus the corn field came in to existence. Later Lavina went back to the house with an apron full on chips to burn and to have dinner ready at noon.

St the Autumn days went by, except a few days when Lavina went home to help her mother spin and weave. Lavina was the eldest daughter, and John had promised that she might come home and help prepare the winter clothing and would help spin yarn for the children's stockings. But aside from these two or three weeks which were lonely enough for Lavina and Doubly for John.

Christmas found them eagerly waiting its holidays, for that meant trips to friends and neighbors and home, dinners and sleighing parties, small gifts and a general rest. But after holidays were over they were glad to come back to the Log-house, and Spring found them ready with plough and seed to plant the cornfield and garden.

During the winter John had split some pickets and had fenced in a small garden. Lavina found that her little chicks had no regard for picket fences whatever, and also the mother hen would occasionally fly over and join her chicks in their revels.

So between the planting, tending and watching her garden and preparing her meals she was kept busy. But as John came whistling in from the fields, the vexing chickens were forgotten, and his smile that she was always expecting was always there.



Section I, 3/3

WHEN NORTH WAS WEDDED TO SOUTH

Dinner was always ready and waiting, and so the days passed by full of work, and with much planning for the future. And as Autumn drew near came invitations to husking bee's, quilting parties, merry hours of apple cutting where all the neighbors met and helped each other. Lavina and John did not attend all of them, for they had a wonderful secret. As Lavina sat and stitched dainty little stitches in some white lawn and dainty prints, John sat and read aloud to her.

As November and the Fall election drew near the papers were filled with speeches of politicians and office seekers. John read some of the items with troubled brow, and at times would sigh, and sometimes Lavina would ask the reason for his actions.

One night he had been reading a rather heated address of a noted Virginian, they were discussing the speech, John said, "I don't like it of course, I hate to think of those negroes being slaves. But as it is, they are the property of the southern people and their money is tied up in them. I can't see why if one of them runs away and gets into a free state that his master should not be allowed to come and take him back again, same as any other property. As long as we let slavery exist, why is the Government so unjust, and why say a man can't move from one state to another. He must set his slaves free, it's not fair. Of course I wish they could find some way to settle things. But as things are going now, I see trouble ahead."

"Well," said Lavina, "Maybe its all talk and when the election is over it will all be hushed up."

"That's the trouble," said John, "Missouri was admitted as a slave state in 1821, with a slave population of 3011, which has increased by birth and immigration to 10,222. Now these southern people with their slaves have helped to make this state, but we are expecting to take in some of this territory west of us, and these people that have helped, to settle and improve it can't stay if it comes in as a free state. John Scott, our territorial delegate, says he is sorry that slavery is the issue of the day, but he feels that each state should decide for itself. That religious sect, called the Mormons, are talking to the slaves, exciting them to riots and violence and some slaves have revolted and killed their masters, all because of these speeches.

Father, brother Will, and myself were talking it over the other day, and father says, he wishes the election was over. I don't see how the politicians are going to solve the question. Seems like as Abe Lincoln said, in his speech with Douglas, we had better begin to educate and fit them to be free and to plan for a gradual emancipation for if they were all free tomorrow - What do they know of government or taking care of themselves either?

One thing is certain if things go on as they are now there is serious trouble ahead."

Yes, those at the little Log-house of Dreams could see the cloud. But little did they think how Dark and Destructive it was really going to be.


Well, There you have the first section. I will check in tomorrow and see if you would like the next section.

Lee

 

[Atterbury Dodd]

Hello,

I am a Civil War enthusiast (did a little reenacting), so of course I would love to read more!

 

[ShoreRoadLady]

Unfortunately, I haven't got the time to read it through right now, but it looks interesting. Do post more!

 

[freebird]

Please post more, I also enjoy anything to do with the civil war, and especially if it concerns Missouri, Arkansas and Oklahoma.

 

[Adele]

I would love to read more as well!!

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Hi Everyone,

I also love history and the Civil War. I mentioned that I had this Journal on the internet several years ago. In 2003 I was contacted by John Delzell a decendant of Lavina Kelly Delzell. I received two emails from him. I am going to post them before I continue with the Journal.

Dec. 12, 2003 -- Hello,
I am a decendant of Lavina Kelly Delzell and happened on to your Civil War Journal site. I was excited to find "When North Was Wedded To South" and have information about it's author. It was written by Lavina's daughter Anna Delzell Selvy between January 25, 1931 and July 11, 1932.
Anna was born in 1876 and died in 1972. She was my grandfather's aunt and lived with my family her last few years. I recently came accross some of her things my mother had kept stored including her manuscript titled "Lavina."
I am interested in any information about other decendants and would be happy to share any information I have. I can be contacted by e-mail johnbarrydelzell(at)cox-internet.com or at (417)359-7268.
Thank You,
John Delzell
1908 Missouri Ave.
Carthage Mo. 64836

Dec. 13, 2003 -- Hello Lee,
Please add my e-mail address to your web page. I first read "Lavina" on Anna Delzell's farm when I was a child in the early 1960's. I would also read Lavina's hand written diary about traveling accross Missouri during the Civil War. I would write dates down and go to the library and check them against battle sites they passed in their wagon.
Many days an entry may read something like "rode ten miles and camped by spring" but there were also entries like "passed through Shell Knob two days after battle; some dead still on ground." To me it was like seeing history first hand.
Anna lived a very simple life on a 20 acre farm outside Reeds Mo. She had no electricity or inside plumbing and heated with a pot belly stove. She loved to read and write poetry. She lived there into her mid 80's before we could convince her to come live with us. Her mind was sharp and she was always very independent. She had no children and outlived two husbands.
I have many of Anna's poems as well as written notes she made when writing "Lavina." I also have many excerpts from her mother's diary and a lot of old pictures. It took me back to some good memories when I came accross your web page. It is a good story and I'm glad to see other people will be able to share it.
Thanks for your time and have a Merry Christmas.
John Delzell
johnbarrydelzell(at)cox-internet.com

Now lets continue with the Journal.

Section 2, page 1/3

A DIVIDED HOUSE

One bright autumn day, John Delzell put the harness on Ribbon and Dan, and drove the wagon out to the barn yard around in front, and came in the house to ask Lavina what she needed from town. She gave him a small list of necessities, and asked him what time he would be home.

Oh, I'll be home in time to do all the chores. Don't you try to do them, just have me a nice warm supper is all you need to do. Are you sure you won't be lonely? Perhaps you had better ride over to Rhuel's place and stay with Mrs. Rhuel until I come home. Lavina declared she was not afraid to lonely, so with a kiss and good bye, John climed on the wagon and Lavina waved him good-by from the door way. On the way over to town he stopped at his father's place and he accompanied him also. As they drove along, they discussed the coming election. John's father being a great admirer of Abraham Lincoln, asked John if he was going to vote for him, and was very much distressed when John said he was undecided. That he believed that Stephen A. Douglass of the northern Democrats would make for more peace and that he thought Lincoln was a fine man, but, at the way the country was upset over the slaves he did not think that Lincoln would be fair to the Slave holding States.

"Well, you don't own any slaves," said his father. "Yes, but father, can't you see my point of view? Look what John Brown done at Harper's Ferry last year. Right is right, and I believe in every one getting justice. When they arrived in town and the trading was done, they found groups of men sitting near the different stores, and the mills. Most of all, they were discussing politics and the possibilities of the Kansas - Nebraska Bill, and as to whether it would be admitted as a free or slave state. At times the arguments waxed hot, and men who were neighbors and good friends for years grew angry, and bitter words flowed free. John and his father wondered if these men would ever be the same to each other again. Each had an ache in his heart, the father because of the position John took in the political out-look, and John, because it was the first time in all his life that he had failed to be guided by the counsel of his father.

Back home Lavina, in the Little Log-House of Dreams, sat and sewed and dreamed when the great secret would be a secret no longer, and watched the sun as it sank still lower and lower into the West, and she begun to expect the sound of the wagon coming home. After several trips to the window, and seeing no signs of John coming, she decided to put away her work and walk down as far as the corner of the new clearing, which was to be some more cornfield the following Spring. She walked slowly and looked at the late flowers of Autumn, the roadside Asters, Golden Rod and Thistle blooms. Ah, yes, this was a beautiful world and she was so happy and felt so sheltered by John and his love. If she was only a little bit nearer her old home where she could see her mother. But John had promised to take her home for Thanksgiving Day, and she sat on a fallen tree and made plans as to the trip, and occasionally she listened for the sound of a wagon. She got up and began to break into short lingths some nice dry limbs, to cook supper, and again she noticed that the sun would soon be setting. She had planned to put the wood in the wagon, and ride back to the house, but now she decided to take a small armfull and go back to the house. A wee troubled frown came over her face, for she could not understand why John was so late. Had he not said he would be home in time for the chores. When she reached the Log House, she decided to gather the eggs and feed the hens, and the pigs in the pen close by, uttered such a protest at the chickens being fed, and then being neglected. She went oand got feed for them, and being as she had done that much, she would milk the cow, then John would only have the horses to care for and get a bit of wood, when he came home.


Section 2, page 2/3

A DIVIDED HOUSE

As the sun sank out of sight she looked again and listened for the sound of the wagon. It must be something very unusual to keep John this late and had he not been so careful of late to not allow her to do much of the work. She went inside and began to make preparations for the nice warm supper that John had asked for, and in it's simple duties she tried to forget her alarm, but she was still troubled and couldn't think of anything that would have dept him from returning by this hour. The house grew dark and the candles were lighted, supper was all prepared, and Lavina had started once more down the road to look and listen, and then in the distance she heard the Bump, Bump of the wheels over the stones in the road. John was coming as fast as the horses could trot. When John saw her in the fast gathering dusk, he jumped from the wagon and caught her in his arms and said, "Lavina dear, I could not help it. Are you scared? Don't be angry, I will explain when we get to the house." He helped her into the wagon and drove up the road all the time thinking just how he could tell her and not give her too much shock. She left him to unharness and feed the team and went inside to see about the food and when he finished and came inside, she started up and cried out at his white blanched cheeks and lips.

"Oh John, are you sick? Why didn't you tell me and let me help you with the team?" "No Lavina, sit down, I have something to tell you. Father went into town with me, and after we finished trading, he wanted to stay awhile and talk with some of the old neighbors. So we did. We were down near Whittenberg's Mill and John Rhule was there and some more men. Ike Whittenberg came out of the Mill and saw that we were all talking of the election. Ike and John were soon leading the discussion. Ike taking the stand of the southern people. That if they could not get their rights in the Union, they should secede and set up a government of their own. John bitterly assailed the Southern people and said a lot of things that should have been better left unsaid, the rest of us tried to get them to hush, but all the while the argument grew worse, and each hurled their bitter words at the other until John Rhule called Ike a traitor and said anyone who was in favor of breaking up the Union over the "Blacks" was not as good as a "Black". Ike told him he would have to apologize or fight. And all we could say or do could not stop it. Rhule was getting the best of the battle, and before we realized what was going on, Ike drew a knife and stabbed Rhule.

The doctor says he can't tell yet, what the result will be. Of course we all stayed and helped to get him into a house and then it was left to me to come past and bring word to Mrs. Rhule, and I stayed and helped the boys hitch up and get them started in to town to his bed side. Surely there must be some way of settling this. But if thing don't change, there is going to be a war."

"Even father and I do not agree. He thinks Abraham Lincoln and the Republican party will be the best for all concerned. I think that if Mr. Lincoln is elected it will be the spark which will light the fire. I am going to vote for Douglas. He says, "Let each territory decide for themselves."

Not much of Lavina"s warm supper was eaten that night. The fate of their neighbor and John's troubled heart over his not being able to see as his father did, left them without much taste for food. They each tried to talk and think of other things, and at last when bed time came, both were smiling, and Lavina told John that she was not going to let him out of her sight until the election was over. But that day arrived in November and John cast his vote for Stephen A. Douglas and true to his promise he hurried home to Lavina while his father and brother Will stayed in town to hear the returns of the election.


Section 2, page 3/3

A DIVIDED HOUSE

The next day after the results of the election were assured, John's father rode over to the Log House and found his son busily engaged in the timber for he and Lavina had planned another room on the house. John was getting all the nice straight trees cut, intending to have all the logs ready to build before he asked his friends and neighbors to help him. As soon as a few commonplace greetings were over, their talk drifted to the election and what the results of the victory of Lincoln would mean to all.


"Father, I know you are disappointed in me," John said. "But think what it means to all these southern people who have come up here to Missouri and have gradually drifted into Kansas and Nebraska with their slaves and their money, they are the ones that have helped to conquer the plains and helped to make this territory what it is, and now what? It's get up and move or else free their slaves, that they have bought. If we are one Nation, what is right in one state, should be right in another, at least if the majority of the ones living there vote it so. That's why I voted for Mr. Douglas. He says let each territory decide for itself. Now these Southern States say they are going to secede, what will Lincoln say to that?"

"Well," his father said, "I believe that some compromise can be brought about and get everything settled."

"I hope so," said John.

But still as the November days went by, the country was anything but settled, men fought and argued over their opinions.

One night in December as John and Lavina sat by the fire light, John reading the paper that had come that day. He laid the paper aside and gazed into the fire. He had not been reading or talking much to Lavina of late, as it seemed to make her nervous. She saw the serious look on his face and asked, "What's the news?" John looked at her a few minutes and then said, "Well, it's begun."

"What is?" Lavina wanted to know.

"Trouble," was John's reply, "and I have feared it all the time. South Carolina has declared that "The Nation or Union that hitherto has existed between her and the other States is dissolved." You see they have said all along that if Lincoln was elected, they felt he would not be fair to the Southern States. I am afraid to guess what this will lead to."

I hope you are enjoying it so far.

Lee

 

[Puyallup Lee]

I work swing shift so most of these posts will be around midnight or later.

Section 3, page 1/3

THE DECISION

The election of November 1860, only intensified the feeling of unrest and dissatisfaction that existed. Things were not quieted down as Lavina had fondly hoped. All winter she could see that John was troubled. Where ever two or three men chanced to meet the conversation always drifted to politics. News papers were read and exchanged with neighbors. Always much speculation as to what Lincoln's administration would bring about. Would he be able to arrange things to the satisfaction of both, Free and Slave states? John his worries as best he could, for he saw that Lavina could not bear to hear these topics discussed without getting nervous.

Also he keenly felt the position he was in. Unable to agree with his own father and brother. And to top things off he was married to the daughter of a staunch Union man. Poor John, surely he felt that he must walk alone. How many sleepless hours he lay and tried to reconcile his ideas as to what was best and right. He always concluded that he loved his state, and even though he doesn't own any slaves, the people who do have their money invested in slaves should be compensated, if they have to turn the slaves free. He firmly believed in justice for all. He was hoping that Lincoln could come up with a plan that would be agreeable to the slave owners, where the slaves would be educated and gradually be set free.

Day by day, he went about his daily tasks, calmly hiding his troubles and trying to plan for the future. So well did he hide his feelings that Lavina had but all ceased to worry. The cornfield was all cleared and ploughed, and spring duties crowding day by day. In working, they both tried to forget the dark cloud that had been hanging over them so long. The new room had been built and John had asked Will, his brother, to come over and help him with some of the spring work.

They had accomplished a lot and one morning in May, John harnessed the team and went to the cornfield, leaving Lavina at the house, happy and humming a song as she went from one chore to another. When she went out to gather some eggs to be used in something for supper, she noticed the men were sitting on their plows resting. When she looked out a bit later they were still sitting on the plows. She could not understand why John was wasting time, he had been so anxious to get the corn planted.

She did not know that the night before a neighbor had passed the barn while they were milking and feeding. He left a newspaper with this item in it, "Governor Jackson had ordered several companies of State Militia to go into camp in their respective districts on May 3rd, and had established a "Camp Jackson" at St. Louis" he was evidently intending to hold the Arsenal at that place.

Early in the month John had refused Lincoln's call for volunteers. Frances P. Blair of St. Louis had offered his "Wide Awakes", men he had organized and drilled, which Lincoln accepted.

The time for neutrality had gone by, John and Will were sitting on the ploughs in the field trying to decide if they were going to enlist and if so what side?

At noon the brothers came in from the field and Lavina called them to dinner. She noticed that John was pale and that neither of them ate much dinner. She decided that she would ask John some questions as soon as an opportunity offered. She thought they had quite likely quarreled over some political argument.

Her anxiety changed to alarm, when after dinner they told her to get ready, they were going over to their father's house.

Section 3, page 2/3

THE DECISION

Upon arriving at their father's place, John, Will and their father went out to the barn leaving the women at the house. That afternoon, Lavina and her mother-in-law discussed various plans and talked of their chickens, and of the cloth they had woven during the winter months. But at the barn, the conversation had been of a more serious nature, and no agreement had been reached.

John came up to the house calm and pale and told Lavina to get her wraps, Will was not going back with them. John kissed his mother when she insisted that they stay over-night. He told her they must go home and do the chores. He then tucked Lavina into the wagon and started home. Soon Lavina asked for an explanation. John tried to tell her as best he could, how the time had come that men must take their stand either for or against secession. War was upon them, there was no need of sowing or planting until this matter was settled.

"John, surely you can't think of leaving me now. At this time. Oh, surely you can't be thinking of such a thing," Lavina said as she burst into tears. John's lips went white, and for a short distance he looked straight ahead and no one saw the tears, that ran down his cheeks.

He tried to comfort Lavina saying, "It was only for a couple of weeks and as soon as the North found that the South was serious that a compromise would be arranged."

Lavina cried most of the way home. When John helped her from the wagon, she seemed chilled, so he tied the team and went in to build a fire, pulled the rocking chair close and kissed her. Then he told her to sit quiet while he did the chores. He went out to his team, but when he climbed into the barn loft to put down the hay, he fell on his face and poured out his heart to God for strength and guidance. That night he and Lavina sat and talked until early morning. John begged her to lie down, but she wouldn't. He sat and held her in his arms and talked about what she would do in his absence. They decided it was not necessary to move the furniture, only the cow and chickens. The team was to go over to his father's until he came home.

"It won't be long, darling, and you know that your mother has wanted you to come home for a while, where she can care for you. Don't be so sad, you can't expect me to go to War and fight for something I think is wrong. War is bad enough when you are fighting for what you think is right."

When the sun was painting the sky a glorious rose and gold, Lavina made them some steaming coffee and though neither of them wanted to eat, both tried to conceal it from the other. As Lavina looked across the table and bowed her head, the simple table grace became a lengthy prayer. After they had eaten, John went out and harnessed the team again and Lavina arranged the house, and they were ready to start for her home, where they intended to break the news, and also arrange for the future.

"Suppose we had better pour water on the fire, don't like to leave it alive, going away over night," said John, as the live coals steamed and died, neither of them could guess that the "fire was out forever, and that the "Little Log House of Dreams" was losing its Master and Mistress.

Arriving at Lavina's parents home, they found that the family was not much surprised. As men all over the country seemed undecided, and was going about talking over the situation, and trying to arrive at some conclusion. Some of the older ones who knew they were too old for military duty, and very young boys were at work as usual in the fields. But men of the right age for service were like John Delzell, planning for enlistment either for or against the Union.

Alfred Kelly greeted his daughter and son-in-law, and guessed by the look on his daughter's face, that John had decided to enlist. He was a bit out of patience with John for being in such haste, considering Lavina's health.


Section 3, page 3/3

THE DECISION

Some work was waiting for Mr. Kelly at his Blacksmith Shop, so he invited John to go out there with him. For the time Lavina forgot herself and all her worries and talked to her mother and little sister Bettie. She knew her father was a loyal Union man and an ardent admirer of Abraham Lincoln. How then could she tell them that her John was going away to fight for the South. It was better too let John and pap talk it over. Maybe Pap could get him to see differently.

Several men came to the Shop at different times that evening, and each one expressed himself in some measure about the position of Missouri, as to the stand she would take. Some of the citizens contending that she was a Slave holding State, and yet, the only one North of 30' and that she, by all means, should not take sides, but remain neutral. Yet, Governor Jackson had issued a call for an extra session of the State Legislature, since about two-hundred men of Clay and Jackson Counties had seized the Arsenal at Liberty on April the twentieth, declaring that, "Missouri must enact such laws and adopt some measure that will be necessary to maintain a proper attitude of defence."

Through all these conversations, John was silent and being a stranger to most of the men, his opinions were not asked.

When the time came to close the shop and do the chores for the night, Mr. Kelly asked John, "Now why are you so silent, come now lets thrash this out. If we are not agreed, we can at least be friendly enemies."

John sat down on a small box, and his father-in-law leaned against the anvil, and there John poured out all his heartache and opinions. While Alfred Kelley looked over the fields and wondered how such a fine young fellow could be so different in opinion from the father who reared him.

Never once did Mr. Kelly doubt that John was not sincere and he could plainly see that John was suffering keen anguish of mind. So, after John ceased to talk, his father-in-law walked over and took him by the hand and said, "John, I have great respect for you, and always have, else I would not have given Lavina to you. If you really feel this way, you must not remain here for times are getting perilious."

"Well," said John, "that's what father said and I really came down to see if I might bring Lavina home for a few weeks, until we can see what's ahead."

"Yes," said Alfred, "She is welcome, and we will do our best for her. If you can't see things as I do, let's both hold our tongues. I hope and pray that neither of us ever has to fire a gun, for you will have a brother in the Northern army. Until this is all settled, we must disagree, but we are of one family, still."

Great tears fell on the floor of the shop among the little bits of iron that lay around John's feet.

He arose and said, "I can't tell you how your words help, and I never can forget your kindness."

With a hand clasp, two silent men, began to do the evening chores.

Next morning they decided that it would be best for John and his father-in-law to go back and get the chickens and cow and what things Lavina would need.

They all thought it best if he was going to enlist, that he do it at once. As Governor Jackson had held his convention and had appointed Sterling Price, who had boldly declared his allegiance to the State Government, as Commander of the Militia.

The men drove away, after they had decided to only bring a few of Lavina's keepsakes and the bedding. As the wagon went down the road across "the Spring branch" and out of sight, Lavina looked after it, then turned, and threw her arms around her mother's neck and wept. While Bettie looked on, Mrs. Kelley soothed and comforted her daughter. Although she said nothing, her thoughts were not so lenient toward her son-in-law as her husband had been. She did not understand political questions, but she did know and understand women and their trials. All of the younger sisters wondered and sympathized and tried to amuse Lavina.

As John was getting ready to drive away from the Log House, he knew that the hardest tasks was yet to come. He drove past his father's home and said "Good bye" to his family. A scene that I will not attempt to describe, only as he passed out on the porch, his mother came once more and he clasp her in his arms and said, "Mother, you always taught me to do what my concience thought was right. Don't cry, I will return."

She handed him a small Bible and said, "Read it and trust in God."

His brother and father shook hands with him. As he climbed into the wagon, he said, "Brother I hope we never meet on the Battlefield for we are brothers first, and then soldiers."

His father said, "John, I wish it were different, but if you can't stay, my prayers go with you. Good bye."

So with a farewell wave of his hand to all and an extra call to his little sister Julia. John felt as if his battles had begun, and knew that there must be one more of this kind before he joined the Confederate Army, and was handed a gun.


Lee

 

[freebird]

This is most excellant. I can't wait until the next portion is posted!:eusa_clap

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Good morning everyone,

I am enjoying re-reading this story also. It has been a few years since I last read it.

Section 4, page 1/3

THE STORM BREAKS

When John and his father-in-law reached home that evening, and the few articles had been taken from the wagon, Mrs. Kelley announced that supper was ready. Although plenty of good food was served, only the children seemed to care for food. All the grown-ups sat and pretended to eat, but a heavy heart is poor company for a feast. The meal ended and the younger sisters began to clear the table.

Lavina, John and her mother and father went into the big living room, and when seated in front of the big fireplace where a small fire furnished the light, Alfred Kelley opened the conversation by telling John, "If your mind is made up and you cannot see any other view of the matter, I think you should start at once, for if your sentiments become known in this neighborhood, your life will be in danger here, and nothing will be gained in delaying."

Lavina sat silent--her hands hid beneath the folds of her apron, were tightly clenched and tears gathered in her blue eyes, only to be quickly wiped away. She would not add to John's hardships by showing weakness, and when she looked at his pale haggard eyes, she could plainly see how difficult it is for him.

After a while the children came trouping in from the kitchen, but soon were sent to bed. Bettie, the youngest, announced she was going to sleep with Lavina and Buddy (the name she had given to Lavina's husband upon being told that she had a new brother, John), for one of her own brothers carried the same name. So "John Buddy" took her upon his knee, and perhaps a thought of what the near future would probably bring to Lavina and himself crossed his mind, for the tears began to flow down his cheeks.

After a few minutes Mrs. Kelley took Bettie and put her to bed, comming back into the room a few minutes later to say "good bye" to John. She seemed to understand that he would start before dawn. Soon Alfred Kelley rose and offered his hand to John and said, "Although we are disagreed in politics, you are my son, and my hopes go with you, that you may soon return and that this will all be settled without bloodshed. While you are gone, you may be sure we will take care of Lavina." With a handclasp they parted.

John stopped and laid a stick of wood on the fire, and when the blaze lighted up the room, once more he took Lavina on his knee and whispered, "My love, don't cry, I will soon be home again.

Promise me that you won't let this make any ifference in our love.

War is hard enough when you fight for what you believe is right.

Surely you could not ask me to fight against my convictions, and always remember this, when you think of me as fighting against your fathers principles, that I am also opposing my own father, and I will have to take up arms against my own brother. Darling, if I could change I surely would.

The old clock ticked off the hours, oh so fast, but their hearts were too full to talk much, only a few promises, to write often and to take good care of themselves, and always with the idea that it would be for only a few weeks or a couple of months at most. Although they did not know it at that time, "The storm that struck" was not to pass so soon and while it seemed as if it was at its worst now, later on the Fury of it was to try their souls even more. Oh, little log house of dreams, for you that your walls are laid upon a sure foundation of love and honor. Nothing less than these could stand amid this storm.


Section 4, page 2/3

THE STORM BREAKS

Along in the wee small hours of the morning, after they had both sat silent, as the clock struck the hour, John said, "We must consider your health, there is nothing gained by waiting. I must go. So why delay."

As he arose from his seat, Lavina caught her breath in a gasp, but quickly recovered herself, and walked out in the yard as far as the gate. There under the stars of the heavens, with all the living, breathing fragrance of the May morning, which was about to break into another day, she and John pledged again their undying love. When John saw that endurance was almost past, he clasped her in his arms, and kissed her over and over again, then tenderly unclasp his arms from her neck and left her sobbing out her love as she leaned against the gate.

Mrs. Kelley had not slept yet this night, so she quietly left her room, and went out to Lavina and put her harms about her and took her into the house. There she found her father standing by the fire. He took her up in his strong arms and told her not to be afraid, for she still had her father to take care of her.

As the weeks passed the family was careful of Lavina, always avoiding the subject of John, or war. Mrs. Kelley allowed Lavina to do some of the lighter housework, but best of all she liked to follow her father out to the blacksmith shop. Lavina was the oldest child and always did like the out doors work, and always there had been a perfect understanding between them, which served as a close tie of love, at this time. Her father had no words of censure for John's action, and when his name was mentioned at all, it was with kindness and respect.

One day while she and her father was at the shop sorting out a box of miscellenous bolts, nails and screws, Mr. Kelley looked out the window and said, "Yonder comes old man Dorrall with a bunch of negros."

Mr. Dorrell was a shrewd trader and believing that slavery was doomed in the north, hit upon the scheme of buying negros in the North and driving them South to the southern people, who felt sure of winning in their cause.

"Good morning Kelley, have you got time to link up these fellows for me?"

Mr. Kelley answered, "Yes!" But in his heart he was wishing that it was in his power to give them their freedom.

As Lavina worked the bellows at the forge, where her father heated the links of a huge chain, she turned her head away and with the corner of her apron wiped some tears away, as quickly as possible but not quick enough to escape the eye of one of the black men. Why, oh why, must she and her father be forging the chains that bound them literally, and her John was away risking his life to keep them bound in the chains of servitude. As each pair of them stepped up to the anvil and laid their pair of hand-cuffs across it, each with a wrist enclosed at either side. Mr. Kelley took from the forge a red hot link, laid it on the anvil and cut it, then with pliers caught the other links of the chain and the bar of the hand-cuff altogether and welded them all together. This done, that couple stepped up to a good walking distance, and another link of this chain was heated, and another pair made fast.

When it came time to fasten the two (one of which had seen Lavina dash the tears away a few moments before) the black man took a long steady look at Lavina. Surely he could see the sympathy in her sad countenance, and those moist blue eyes, which seemed of late to always have a few tears in them. Soon they were all finished, "nine pair" and one was alone at the end of the chain. To Lavina, it seemed she would have almost been willing to have been manacled to him, if she could have gone south and found her loved John.


Section 4, page 3/3

THE STORM BREAKS


As Mr. Dorrell mounted his beautiful horse and was ready to start this strange procession of poor, downtrodden humanity out of the yard, he turned and said, "Well, Mrs. Delzell, if I see your husband down South, shall I bring him back with me?"

Lavina could not help but feel the sting of his words, as he fully intended that she should. As she turned away without an answer, she saw the big black repeating over and over, "Mrs. Delzell."

Alfred Kelleys eyes blazed with anger, "See here Dorrell, you could have left that off. She is my child and is not responsible for the opinions of her husband. After this, when you have any work like this to do, take it to someone else. It's a dirty job, at its best, and work that I don't care to do."

Dorrell looked rather crestfallen and ordered the negroes to march ahead of him, and as they shuffled off down the road.

Lavina and her father looked at the poor miserable creatures leaving their homes, wives, and children, heading down South into the hands of task masters and cotton or rice fields, and Alfred Kelley said, "How can a man traffic in human blood?"

Slowly the days dragged by with an occasional letter from John. Then came a day in July when Mrs. Kelley sat watching Lavina as she moved restlessly from place to place. Soon she left the room and called one of the older girls, and told her to go and ask Mrs. Justice to come over, then sent the other children over to a neighbors. That evening and night, Lavina engaged in a battle with anguish and death, but came out with victory, and brought with her HER FIRST BORN, a beautiful little boy.

With the battle over and this little babe to love, she looked once more like the bride of The Log House. The next day as she lay and watched it's little face squirming in a dream, she was thinking how proud John would be when she could hear from him again, and could write to him all about it.

Then one of the neighbor ladies asked, "What are you going to name it?" All the time Lavina had planned to call him John, but before she could speak, her father came in and stood looking down at her. The neighbor lady laughed and said, "Mr. Kelley, I think as it's your first grandson, it should be named for you."

Lavina saw the pleased, proud look that came into his eyes, for he only had two boys, and had lost one of them the year before.

Lavina thought of how kind he had been to John, and how tenderly he had bid him "Good Bye" that last night, and of his loving care of her in these last months. She choked back a wee, small, lump in her throat and said, "Yes, I think I will call it Alfred."

She was instantly repaid when her father bent his head and kissed her and the baby, and said, "I am sure proud of both of you."

Lavina, having reasoned in her mind thus--if John comes back, maybe there will be another. Anyway he will understand when I tell him all about it. Oh, if he could only come. She turned her head on the pillow, and while the rest talked and laughed, and Bettie climbed upon her father's knee and chatted of Lavina's baby.

Lavina, with her lips pressed to the top of it's tiny head, little Alfred was christened with his mother's tears.


Lee

 

[Foofoogal]

This is a manuscript of Lavina Kelley Delzell, a young bride in 1859 living in Missouri. Her husband went to fight for the South in the Civil War. The manuscript was madeup from her diary in 1932 by one of Lavina and John's children. There are 16 sections to the manuscript.

Great stuff. I am also into Genealogy some. The Civil War was unbelievable and awful.
From Sandy who should be listing on VBO but instead am reading a Civil War diary. The story of my internet life.

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Hi Everyone,

I got home a little early so I am posting this before midnight.


Section 5, page 1/4

THE SUPREME TEST

The summer days of 1861 were fast slipping by, and what most people thought would be a matter of a few weeks or months, was now not any better than before. The battle of Pea Ridge had anchored Missouri to the Union, but it had not brought peace to it's citizens, rather the opposite--for it has become a vast recruiting ground. Gen. Halleck's military orders were resented, and with free speech withdrawn, many who hitherto had remained neutral, now cast their lots with the South, and another act that aroused the public was an attempt to tax Southern sympathizers in St. Louis county and City, $500,000 to be raised at once, which was promptly countermanded in Washington.

In October 1861, the State Convention passed a bill, establishing a Missouri State Militia, and soon most every county had it's money. By June 1862, all of Missouri, except three southwest counties was formed into a district called the "District of Missouri". As soon as the Federals were aware of this, and that the people were for the most part Southern sympathizers, the Federals were determined to scatter them.

The most conspicuous of these was conducted by Col. Joseph Porter in Northeast Missouri. Col. John McNeil who was in command of that part of the country was instructed to check the operations of Porter. Several minor skirmishes took place, Porter marched his men into Knox county, intending to gather his forces and move south into Arkansas. The Missouri river intervened as a barrier, and the Federals destroyed all means of transportation.

Porter decided to concentrate at Kirksville and risk a battle, and on August 6, Porter with 2,000 men, took possession of the town. McNeil arrived soon after and began an attack. After three hours of desperate fighting, McNeil took possession and Porter was in full retreat.

After this, Missouri was indeed a battle ground. No one could be sure as to friends. Bands of cruel unscrupulous men known as Jay-Hawkers and Guerrillas, under the leadership of Quantrill looted and burned towns and persecuted Southern sympathizers. Truly, this testing time had come, a time when a man's life hung in the balance and no one could tell which way the scales would tip.

Lavina's little "comforter" had not come to stay, and after a few months of it's comforting presence, she have it back to God, andturned once more to face the storm with only her little sister Bettie to take it's place.

One night in early September, she and Bettie had crept off to bed quite early. Bettie was tired and cross and wanted Lavina to sing, bad indeed was her voice, and queer was the lullabye as she sang. "All my Trust on Thee is Stayed." All my help from Thee I bring. Cover my defenceless head, with the shadow of Thy wing."

Soon Bettie was fast asleep, and Lavina lay and reviewed the past two years, and wondered what the future would bring. She had only heard that day that a company of soldiers were camped near the "Little Log House" and the officers were quartered in it. Her Home, that John had built. John gone! Baby gone! Surely she had reached the depths, but no, fate had one more staggering blow, but first a Balm for her heart, which had grown so tired through all these trials.


Section 5, page 2/4

THE SUPREME TEST

She had not heard from John since July. She had written to him and told him all about the "baby", and had immediately received his glad reply, but since then no news. Her heart was so heavy, although her family explained that letters were lost and soldiers had so little time to write. She turned and kissed Bettie, and tried so hard to go to sleep. All of the family had been in bed for an hour or so, but sleep could not come to her. Suddenly she heard a low thrilling whistle! She sat upright in bed and listened, surely she had not dozed and dreamed it. Again it called, yes, it was their old "love call", that John had often used when he wished to let her know he was coming in from the field, or any trip he had been away from the "Log House".

Quickly she slipped into her clothes and quietly walked out through the big living room onto the porch and in the shadow of the old Blacksmith Shop, she saw her John. She smothered an impulse to cry aloud, but soon was in his arms sobbing and crying, and trying to ask questions between tears, and kisses.

"We cannot stay here," said John, "Lets go down near the spring where we can hide in the rocks. Could you slip back and get the baby? I want to see him so much."

Lavina went limp, and as John felt her weight against his shoulder and on his arms, he halfway braced himself for what was coming. Lavina sobbed out three words, "He is gone!" Then John understood. For a while neither spoke, but the precious minutes were slipping by. John raised her face to the light of the stars and said, "Let's trust in God, for he knows best."

He explained how he was doing some scout work to get some information as to the strength and the position of the Northern Army and took the risk of a capture in order that he might see her again. All night they sat in the shadow of the big rocks. When the streaks of dawn began to show in the east, Lavina went down to the "milk house" by the spring and brought up milk and cheese and cooked vegetables for John to eat as he prepared to go.

"Oh, can't you stay for only one day, you look so tired and worn?" pleaded Lavina.

"But darling, where could I stay? I can't go in your father's house."

With such pleading and tears, she persuaded him to go and hide in a hay stack, in the field and she would bring him food, so he decided to rest one day at least. Now the day was near, so with a kiss she sent him out through the pasture bars. She slipped back to her bed and Bettie. No one had discovered her absence.

The next days trials all disappeared, for Lavina's eyes glistened and sparkled, even if they had not closed in sleep. She had to watch herself so as to not betray her happiness for was she not to see her John again that night? She prepared extra food for supper as much as possible and in taking the milk to the spring, she put in bread, meat and other things that she thought he could eat, or carry with him.

That night when all was still, she went out again to keep her tryst with John. God sends the sunshine as well as the storm.

Enjoy it, dear heart, for after tonight you will see but little of the sunshine for many a day. As the morning came once more John and Lavina parted once more. This time for many months. But still with the determination that the Log House of Dreams should not be wrecked by the storm.



Section 5, page 3/4

THE SUPREME TEST

About a week later, early one morning, a company of Union soldiers rode up to Alfred Kelley's gate. As they were some of his neighbors, and a few others he was slightly acquainted with.

He went out toward the gate and said, "Good Morning, what's the news?"

They looked from one to the other, and one of his neighbors saw he must be spokesman for the crowd, so he cleared his throat and said, "Well, Alfred, we were sent to burn your house."

"And what for?" said Alfred.

"That rebel son-in-law of yours has been seen in the neighborhood and it's been reported to headquarters that you have sheltered him and you know what that means."

"No," said Alfred, "he has not been here, I give my word of honor, and you all know that I am a loyal Union man.:

The leader replied, "Alfred, I can't tell you how much I hate to do this, but I was sent here, and I don't know what would happen to me if I didn't obey orders."

By this time Mrs. Kelley decided that soemthing unusual was going on, so she stepped out on the porch, and heard the men say they had been ordered to burn his house and barns and heard her husband deny that his son-in-law had been there. With a cry of alarm, she rushed back into the kitchen and began to tell Lavina.

For an instant Lavina halted, but then with a look of determination, she walked out in the yard and faced the men.

They all turned and stared at her when she calmly said, "Yes, he was in this neighborhood, but not in Pap's house. He came to see me, and now he is gone. What good will it do you to burn Pap's house, for something he knew nothing about. I have not even told them that he was here, and if you must punish anyone, then let it be me."

Alfred was as surprised as the others, but all the men seemed to realize that she had spoken the truth. Lavina stood for a few minutes waiting, then walked back into the house and tried to comfort her mother. After talking it over, the men rode away saying they would explain it to the commanding officer and see what could be done. The next day an officer and four men rode up to the door and called for Alfred. When he came out of the Blacksmith Shop, Lavina was with him. They said they had come to see if she would take the "Oath of Allegiance", if not, then she would have to be banished South.

This she refused to do, "How can I take an oath not to befriend my own husband. I will not. Did I not promise to cling to him, and love him even until death should part us? No! I will not break one oath to take another. I will go South."

The men left with these instructions, to either come to the office and take the Oath, or else be out of the country in three days. In vain did the family plead, for Lavina stood firm in her decision. She argued that she could go to Springfield and there join a train of Refugees and go south to Darnell, Arkansas where the Southern Army was in Camp. A faint hope of being near John kept up her courage. So when they could not change her decision, Alfred began to plan for her quarters on her trip and her departure. On the evening of the second day, he and his wife made their attempt for the last time, to get their daughter to take the Oath, viz "That she would not shelter, feed, or befriend the enemies of the Union or in any way assist them."

With tears, she exclaimed, "Oh, why make my trials any harder to bear. Can't you see that if I break one oath, that I would another, and I know and you know that I would befriend John at any time." So they said no more.

Alfred replied, "Well, you must start tomorrow. I feel that we shall never see you again. Get some of your things packed. I will go into town and see when a company of Refugees are to leave Springfield.


Section 5, page 4/4

THE SUPREME TEST

The next morning Alfred went to the barn and saddled a little brown horse and brought it up to the front gate. He stood out side for an hour or more and walked about the yard. While inside the mother and sister of Lavina helped her dress and packed up the things that she was to take. Few words were spoken. In such hours as this, the lips are dumb. Finally Alfred came in as Lavina was ready to comb her hair. In another hour a neighbor would come to ride with Lavina as far as Springfield, as he must make a trip there on business anyway, Alfred had asked him to ride with her.

When he came into the room he handed Lavina seventy-five dollars in bills and some in silver, and said, "It's the best I can do for you. But if it was more, perhaps it would do you no good, for I expect you to be robbed."

Lavina stood and folded the bills lengthwise and coiled her hair around it and pinned it fast till all the paper money was hid in her shining brown hair.

Alfred said, "That's about as good a place as you could have put it. Don't take them out, just a bill as you need it."

When they saw the neighbor man coming, the room was a heart-breaking scene, with the sisters and mother in tears. Little Bettie stood and looked on with childish wonder and cried also.

Lavina stooped and kissed her over and over again. Alfred left the room and went out to the gate and stood by the horse.

The good thoughtful neighbor rode down the road a short distance and waited, and soon Lavina, half blidned with tears came out to the gate.

Alfred took his first-born daughter in his arms and said, "Oh daughter, daughter, why can you not take the oath and stay, you are breaking my heart. Before three days the soldiers will rob you and maybe take your horse and you will be afoot and alone in a strange country."

No soldier of either side ever went forward with greater courage than Lavina did at that hour, repeating the promise she had made to her sisters and mother, that she would write often. She let her father help her up into the saddle and rode away. Not once did she look back at the house, but kept repeating over and over, it's best, it's best. If I stayed I might get Pap into more trouble.

When she arrived in Springfield, she was told that the wagon train of refugees had left at noon and now it was most night. She decided to rest over night and by hard riding, she thought she could overtake the slow moving wagons the next day. She haf found lodging for herself and horse with an old couple out near the edge of town. Not far from the house, some Indians were camped and as she sat on the porch, one of the squaws came over and offered a red silk shawl for sale. Lavina, like a true daughter of Eve, admired it, and offered the squaw one-dollar, only to receive a grunt and a head shake, NO. It was so pretty and with inward reproaches and against her better judgement also, Lavina kept adding a dollar at a time until the squaw had five of her precious dollars in her hand, and she handed Lavina the shawl and went away back to her camp.---So much for the vanities of youth. Oh, it is well for us that the hearts of our youth are capable of being consoled by the trivial things of life. Else they would not be able to bear all the weight of sorrows of the later years.

After supper Lavina went to a near-by store and bought writting material to send a letter home that night, also a small blank book, for she had promised her sisters to write down all the names of the places she saw, and things that she did, so that when she came home, she could tell them all about her trip.

Her father had cautioned her not to talk much to strangers and to tell as little as possible of her affairs. "Keep a close mouth, daughter, for these are perilous times. Don't try to make close friends."

So as she finished her letter and sat thinking of her father, and looking at the book, she wrote on the front page, "This is my close FRIEND, and here I will tell all my secrets and record my daily experiences."


Lee

 

[freebird]

I live in N.E. Oklahoma, and have been to Pea Ridge battlefield, as well as Springfield. So reading of events in this general vicinity is truly fascinating.

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Section 6, page 1/1

AMONG STRANGE PEOPLE

October 7, 1861

I arrived in Springfield at 3:30 this afternoon--wagon train was gone, but I think I can catch up with them to-morrow, if I go to bed now and rest and start early in the morning (The dear old lady who had given Lavina lodgings for the night, now came into the room and asked if she needed any thing more, and after a few minutes talk she bid Lavina, "Goodnight", and left the room, then she was alone for the first time in her life.

How still the room seemed. She went to the window and looked out into the bright moon-light and saw the twinkle of the fires of the Indian camp. Her thoughts went back to her home and her loved ones, and she turned and fell across the bed and sobbed out a prayer for help. But with all the excitement of the last few days, and her ride of the day, her body relaxed and she slept.

Next morning she arose and dressed, and as soon as she had eaten a good breakfast, before she had packed her things away, she wrote in her little book as follows:

October 8, 1861

Dear close Friend:

This morning I am to start alone, but I am sure that by riding hard to-day, I will catch up with the wagon train.

I hope that "Beauty" feels as rested as I do. Now I must hurry and be off, and post my letter and saddle Beauty, for I don't know how I will feel riding alone along strange roads, so she must do her best to-day, and after we catch the wagons, she can take it more slowly. Wonder where I will be when I tell you something more.

L. E. D.


October 8, 1861

Close Friend:

I am so tired but must re-cord this day. I have lived through it, so surely I can write it down. I set off so full of hope and Beauty was so fresh and rested. I could hardly realize that I was a Refugee being sent out of my "Home State".

We were out of Springfield before the sun was an hour high, a cool, fresh breeze was blowing from the south, and the roads just damp enough from last weeks rains to make fine traveling. We soon went through a place called Shell Knob.

There I inquired about the wagon trail of Refugee, and learned that they had passed through, and had camped just beyond the town on the night of Oct. 7, so I bought me a bit of dinner, and rode out of town and soon found the camp ground, where they had been.

There was some hay that their horses had left, and I went to a farm house, and a woman sold me a dozen ears of corn for Beauty. I gave her six, and tied the other six behind the saddle for her supper. (or I did intend it for that, but these kind people said that she would find plenty in the pasture over night. So will keep it for her dinner to-morrow.)

Well, after we had rested awhile, I put the saddle on, and we were on our way once more. I rode hard for I did so wish we could camp together, but we missed the road. I should have asked the way more often. So here we are tonight, accepting hospitality of strangers. I did hate so much to ask to stay all night for they ask me where I was going, and where I came from, and of course, I had to tell them that John was in Price's Army, and while I was telling the woman, a man came in, and when I finished, he called the woman into another room and talked in low tones for a few minutes, but at last I heard him say, "Well, May its all right this time, and she is so young and helpless, as you say, but after this, don't promise, we have to be careful." But when he came into the room, he spoke quite cheerful and said that he would put my horse in the pasture for the night. And at the supper table he talked of the weather and the country that I had been coming through, and kept away from personal subjects of which I was glad.

The wagons are about a days journey ahead now. It's so discouraging, and it's so lonely to ride along the roads alone.

This evening I came through a nice little town called Cassville. We are gaining on the wagons some, as they had passed through here yesterday about 2 o'clock. If I had only asked the way oftener, but after this, I will be careful. Hope to camp with them to-morrow night. "Beauty" is a dear little horse, and as we clatter along over the stony roads, she just seems to know where to walk. "Dear Pap", he gave me his best. How I miss all of them.

Hope I can get settled soon, so I can get a letter from some of them, but will keep sending them letters as I go along so they will know I am safe and well. I feel safe. Who would want to harm me?

Well, I must go to bed, for the family are all in bed, and the lights are all out. Hope that to-morrow is a nice day, and that I can overtake the wagons.

Section 7, page 1/7

SO THIS IS WAR

October 9, 1861

Dear Close Friend:

How can I record the happenings of this awful day. I have cried for the first time since I left the sight of the Old Spring Branch, and the little school-house. Beauty and I started with the sun this morning and she was so rested. She fairly flew over the roads, and reminded me of a beautiful butterfly, as they slowly flutter to the ground. Several times we passed little children on the way to school, or driving cows along the road, and they would smile, and one little girl waved at me as I rode by. I saw the cunning little squirrels as they scampered among the trees getting their supply of winter food stored away.

I was riding as fast as I thought best, but did not wish to overtax Beauty, and planned to stop at the next house, or store, and try to find out the best road. When in a distance, I could hear a clatter of horses hoofs, and soon a turn in the road, and I could see a company of about 25 or 30 men on horses. For the first time since I had started I was afraid. All the people that I had met before seemed to be following their occupations, and if not, were very friendly, at least they were courteous. But now here was soldiers.

I caught my trembling lip between my teeth, and reined Beauty over by the side of the road, and by that time, the first of the men were only a few yards from me.

As their horses came along-side of mine, they drew rein, and said, "Where are you goin' Gal?"

I answered, "I am traveling South."

Then they asked, "Got a sweet-heart down there, a Johnny-Reb?"

I said, "I have a husband in Price's Army."

Then they laughed loudly and said, "Get down, we want to trade horses."

But I told them, "I don't want to trade horses. I am in a hurry. I am trying to catch the wagon train of people so that I can travel with them, and I hape to find my husband at Dardenell, Arkansas where the Army is in camp."

They laughed again, and said, "Those Johnny-Rebs are on the run, and won't stop until they reach the jumping off place. Get down, so we can change saddles."

One big fellow reached up his hands, and said, "Come on, we've got to get fresh horses, and one of these will do for you." He took me from the saddle, and begun to loosen the girths of his saddle, and several more of the men dismounted and stood about. I was determined not to cry, or let them see that I was afraid, if I could help it.

One of them took off Beauty's saddle , and looked at my "Carpet bag" as he lifted it from the saddle horn. Let's see what she is taking that "Reb", and he opened it, and took out the "Jean's" suit that I had spun and wove, and had gotten Mrs. Hale to cut and make, and a pair of fancy top boots that I had bought, and hoped to send him for Xmas. Gift, and now was trying to carry them to him.

"Oh, look fellows, what she has for him. What am I offered for a good suit?" I begged them not to take my things from me, explaining that to take the horse was enough, but they kept pulling out things, until they reached the bottom of the "Carpet-Bag", and there was my shawl, that I had bought from the old Indian woman at Springfield.

"Oh, what a pretty "Do-dad". This will be fine for my neck and ears." While all this was taking place, the man had put his saddle on Beauty, and my saddle on his horse. He now turned where the men were rumaging over my things. Several had tried to put on the boots and finally one of them took his knife and slit the insteps, and then put them on, and walked away. The suit had disappeared among them, and I turned to the fellow with the shawl, and asked for it.

"You don't want it, so why be so mean?" I said. He only laughed, and turned away.



Section 7, page 2/7

SO THIS IS WAR

I sat down on the bank by the roadside and began to cry. Then the man who took Beauty said, "Oh, give the girl her shawl, haven't you any shame at all? No use doing things that are not necessary."

So he gave me my shawl. They put me upon the strange horse, looked in my pocket book and saw only a few coins, so did not take them.

Got on their horses and rode away. I sat still and watched Beauty gallop down the road. I wiped away the tears, then said to myself, "SO THIS IS WAR".

After a few minutes I grew calm again, and started the poor fagged hourse back over the road he had just come, but he had a loose shoe that bothered him, and it was now noon, so at the next farmhouse, I stopped and asked for some feed for my horse and dinner. They heard my story and did not seem so surprised, only said that I was lucky to get a horse in exchange at all.

Then the man smiled and said, "And you didn't get anything worth the name of "Horse". This one is practically dead."

He nailed the loose shoe, and took off the saddle to let it rest, and then we found that it had a big sore on it's back, made by the saddle. Now these dear kind people have insisted that I rest a few days and let my horse rest too, for he says that the horse will die if I ride on. I have given up hope of catching the wagons so I am going to stay a few days. The woman is not strong and there are several children, so I can help her spin and weave for my board. So "Close Friend" while I have cried and worried over not catching the wagons, and because the soldiers took Beauty and my things, yet I have found good friends in this family and I am still well and can work. Maybe I will stay here long enough to get a letter from home, but when I write, I am just going to tell them that I have stopped to rest. I don't want them to know that I was robbed. Well, it's late, and I must go to bed and not burn up so much of this good womans candles, and besides I want to help her work to-morrow, but how can I sleep after all that I have been throught to-day. In three more days will be our wedding anniversary. "Oh, two years ago, I was so happy. Who could have thought all this would have come?" But shame on me to talk like this. Where is my John and what may he be enduring? So I will cry no more, but trust God to care for us all.


October 10, 1861

I am quite rested this morning, and have helped the girls milk. Their names are Lucy and Lenore Carrol, and are ten and thirteen years old. It makes me feel like I was home again with Emma and Mandy.

Well, this morning since I got the tears out of my eyes, I got the first good look at my horse. He wouldn't be so bad, if he did not have that awful sore on his back. The girls wanted to know if I was going to call him Beauty, and I laughed. I said, "No, you girls can name him." And after much laughing and many suggestions such as -- Hard times, -- Missouri Pride, -- Abe Lincoln, (this because he was so lank and thin) it was decided that his name should be "Yankee-Doodle". So now for short it will be Dude.

TO-NIGHT AGAIN...

I wrote a letter home today, and asked them to answer at once, for they told me that I should give the horse at least a week, or ten days, so I have halped Mrs. Carrol spin, and tonight we sat and knit by the fire-light. She is troubled about her husband, and thinks he will go to the Army as soon as he gets the feed for the stock all put away, and things fixed for the winter. Mr. Carrol said that every man should enlist, and do his part and it would be over by spring.

After they had gone to sleep, (I sleep with Lucy and Lenore, and last night as we all cuddled up, I told them about Emma, Mandy, Jane and Bettie, how old each one was and how they looked, and all about the school house and Spring.) I got up and looked out of the window away off in the timber, I could hear the "Hoot, Hoot" of an owl, and everything that we did at home, and the "Log House" passed before my mind, so I cried and cried, but at last I came to myself and said, "How foolish, this crying won't help, and I am well and have found good friends, and will soon go and find John." So I crept back to bed and was soon fast asleep. Ane in the night, I dreamed that I was home again, and a child once more, and all of us were down by the school house playing, and wading in old Dutch Branch. So little book, I must stop, even though there were lots of things happened today that I would like to have written.




That's it for this evening. I hope are enjoying this.

Lee

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Section 7, page 3/7

SO THIS IS WAR

October 11, 1861

Well, another day is gone. We dyed some thread to-day, and got it washed and dried to begin to weave some cloth for winter dresses. It was such a pretty shade of dark blue, and Mrs. Carrol is going to stripe it with brown and yellow. She dyed the brown last week with walnut-hulls, and the yellow with copperas.

The girls can hardly wait to see the cloth started, to see how the stripes will look, and Oh, yes, I must tell you what happened to the dye that was left. When we finished, we poured the dye into a large jar, and put it on a high shelf, just out side the kitchen door. The jar was one that Mrs. Carrol had been in the habbit of using for cookies or ginger bread. Near the Carrols' is a family of "Poor White Trash" as they call them (although I don't think it's nice to speak of folks like that,) but anyway, there is a boy about fourteen or fifteen years old, who comes over most every day to "Borry" a little bit of something for "Mam", either tobacco, snuff or something in the grocery line.

The girls say you can always depend upon seeing Joe sometime during the day, even more than you can depend upon seeing the Sun, for sometimes the weather is cloudy and the sun fails to show up, but Joe, never. So today Joe came on one of his daily errands, and being of a curious mind, and thinking perhaps that there might be a stray cookie left, he tipped the jar to look in, and poured a lot of this dye down on top of his face, and head.

His hair is the color that is known as flax-headed (or I think it would be if some good soft-soap and water was used upon it) and you can imagine what he looked like when we heard the "Splash" and opened the door. We all laughed loud and long except Mrs. Carrol, and I think she would have, but she was thinking of the wasted dye.

Joe is quite a braggart, and has been telling the Carrol children that if the war is not over right away soon, that he is going to enlist in the Southern Army. So today as he slouched, shamefacedly out of the yard without his accustomed "Borrie" one of the small boys called after him, "Hey, Joe! What are you going to do about enlisting. Neither Army will have you now, for you are flying both colors, the Blue and the Gray. Your hair and shirt are Union Blue, but your breeches and feet and legs are Rebel Gray. Ha, Ha, now you are not fit for either side."

I guess we should have been ashamed to laugh at the poor fellow, but really I felt better, for it's the first time that I have laughed since I left home. Dude's back is healing fast, and I hope to start again, although the Carrols are so nice. I hate to think of going on as I may not find such nice friends again soon.

October 12, 1861

Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary, just think, -- what two years have brought, a husband, home, war, a sweet baby boy, a little grave back home, and myself now in exile among strangers, but I must be brave, and all will be right again someday. ----I know.


Section 7, page 4/7

SO THIS IS WAR

October 13, 1861

Close Friend:

Yesterday I told the girls that today would be my wedding anniversery, and early this morning as I was getting ready to weave, Mrs. Carrol came from the kitchen and said, "No work this must be a holiday, and the children all came in smiling, and soon we were all tramping down the road to the small creek, a mile or more away to gather walnuts, and chestnuts.

Last night we had a heavy frost, and they say the burrs of the chestnuts would open as soon as the sun shone on them. Mrs. Carrol and I carried the basket of dinner, and the children ran ahead down the road like a lot of wild birds, jumping and throwing rocks at fence posts, and gathering Golden Rod, chattering like mag-pies. As yet, the War holds no terror for them. Bless their dear hearts. But I could plainly see that Mrs. Carrol was troubled, even if she did try to be cheerful.

Finally she asked me what the people farther North thought of the situation, and did I think that they really intended to free the slaves before they finished. She seemed so much surprised when I said, "I did not know, but hoped they did." "Then why is your husband fighting for the South?" She asked. So I told her how John felt, and then when I had finished she said, "What a fine manly thing to do, to follow his conscience even when it broke up his home and separated him from you and his family." Then she said, "Mr. Carrol talked with me last night and he thinks he must go, but oh, how can I let him leave the children and me. Oh, teach me to be brave like you." I tried to comfort her as best I could, and soon the children found a little crippled pigeon, and came running back to us. I told her not to let the children see her cry, so she dried her tears, and soon we were all interested in bandaging up the hurt pigeon, and as the timber was so near we found trees laden with nuts, and for the rest of the day, we all either forgot, or else did a good job of pretending to forget our troubles. At noon we ate our lunch, by a pretty little Spring, then placed the pigeon in the empty lunch basket, and tied a cloth over it, and so relieved ourselves of carrying it in our hands by turns. We each wrote a name for it on a chip and drew out one from the basket to name it, and what do you think, he came home with the name, "Abe Lincoln" as Frank Carrol had wrote on the chip. Although it had better been Jeff Davis to have suited the family's choice. We found all the chestnuts we could carry, and some wild grapes, and reached home when the sun was low. Mr. Carrol had returned from town, and brought me a letter from home. All was well, and so glad that I was with friends, and now before I close, I am going to read it once more and write down what Bettie says. To tell John Buddy to come home and bring Lavina. Bless her little heart, how I wish that her plea might be granted. Ane I believe it will sometime, but not now. Maybe it won't be long. So after all, my wedding anniversary was better that I thought, and I have not cried as I thought I would.

I wonder if John remembered. Oh, if I could only hear from him.


Section 7, page 5/7

SO THIS IS WAR

October 14, 1861

Close Friend:

This morning after the girls and I had milked, Lenore and I went down into the pasture, to put some medicine on Dude's back.

Mr. Carrol went to help a neighbor gather some corn. I was so surprised to see what a few days rest and feed can do. Dude was so worn out with hard riding, and he is naturally a long legged type of horse that he did look terrible, but today he is not so bad to look at. Although, he is not so pretty to look at as "Beauty", if he was ever so fat. When we came back to the house, there were eight soldiers sitting in the yard waiting for their breakfast, which they had ordered Mrs. Carrol to cook. Lenore was so indignant to think they had ordered their mother to work for them, and while we were busy, she went into the yard and gave them a piece of her mind (so to speak). We heard them laughing and teasing her, and went to see what was the matter. There stood Lenore, eyes flashing in spite of tears---saying, "You hateful Bluecoats, Yankees, my mother has cooked breakfast once this morning. You are just beggars, thats what you are. I hate Yankees. Why one even took Lavina's horse (although I am glad she stopped with us) but you are as mean as can be, and I haope the Johnny Rebs whip you."

Where at, they all laughed, and one answered, and said, "If the girls of the South inherited their grit, and courage from their fathers, I am afraid they will too." Mrs. Carrol called her in and told the men their meal was ready. After they had finished they apologized for their trouble, and as they left the yard, they spied Lenore seated on the lowest branches of an old apple tree, with "Abe" the pigeon, and called, "Good bye little Rebel," and recieved a toss of her head and a whack with a rotten apple in return, so with another laugh they rode away.

October 16, 1861

Close Friend:

I must make one more entry with you while I am here with these Dear People. They have been so nice to me, that it will be hard to leave them, but Dude's back is well, and he is rested as well as myself, also I hear rumors that the Southern Army may have to retreat further south. Mr. Carrol is preparing to enlist, and has asked me to stay with Mrs. Carrol and the children, but as I must be among strangers, I feel as if I must go on nearer to John if I can, and then her Aunt is coming so I feel free to travel once more, but it will be hard to leave them, and start alone again.

Have been hoping that a train of "Refugees" would come this way, but so far none has passed. A neighbor man came over last evening, and stayed until late bed-time. He and Mr. Carrol talked most of the evening of the latest battle, which was fought at Newtonia, a small village about twelve miles east of Neosho, Missouri. Gen. F. Salomen and about 5,000 Federals engaged. Col. Cooper and Jo.

Shelby in battle in which the Federals were repulsed and driven back to Sarcoxie, Missouri, both sides lost heavily reports say.

Also the awful execution, that took place at Macon, Missouri, Sept. 25th. Ten men who had been engaging in Guerrilla Warfare, robbing and killing some of their citizens, were caught, and lined up and shot. One was a boy of only twenty years. Have people lost their reason, that they can do such things, I fear for the "Loved Ones" at home. The battles all seem to be so very close to them.


Section 7, page 6/7

SO THIS IS WAR

October 19, 1861

Close Friend:

Well, we have all had a good laugh. Joe came over on one of his "Borrie" expiditions, (And Soloman in all his Glory, was not arrayed like "Joe", and I'll wager that he was not near as proud). He has obtained an old half-worn Federal Uniform about three sizes too large for him and was carrying his father's old squirrel musket, of course we thought he was ready to enlist, but he seems to think he should drill awhile, and get his hand in a bit "afore he jines fer shore." He evidently had been to a Recruiting Station, and heard some Political speeches, for he waxed eloquent, while he was explaining, and said, "I am like Mr. Daniel Webster, this is "one country", and "one Union" one and insufferable. (Ha! Ha!) Sides, they tell me that the Government gives them Union Soldiers "all the flat ter-baccy they can chaw", Yes sir, as soon as I git me hand in at shootin a bit, I am goin to enlist."

He stood and polished his brass buttons with a piece of an old glove. While Mrs. Carrol got the article he came to "Borrie" and he turned to go with his coat flapping in the breeze, and the bottoms of his pants rolled up to make them short enough. Frank Carrol ask him if he thought he would meet a Rebel on the way home, and he said, "Oh no, I'se jist carryin' her fer practice."

Poor Joe, it was a shome to laugh at such Patriotism, but I can't help but wonder if the "flat-terbaccy" didn't enter into it quite a lot. And maybe if the Rebel - Uniform was a blue and "terbaccy free" that his policies might have been different.

October 20, 1861

Oh, poor book! What must I write on your pages tonight.

Got a letter from home today, with awful things in it. Best of all, though, was the news that all was well and praying for my safety, but said that on October 18, there had been a massacre at Palmyra, Missouri. General Porter had taken some prisoners, and among them was an old man named Andrew Allsman, a Union Sympathizer, and seems he had been reporting some of the Southern men to the Government. Porter released all of them except this old man. General McNeil ordered Porter to release Allsman, and said if he did not, he would execute ten Rebel prisoners. Porter did not comply, and Oct. 18, McNeil not satisfied with an "eye for an eye and tooth for tooth" shot ten men. Famine, War and Pestilence. No wonder the Warrior David chose Pestilence in preference of War, when God was going to punish him. He was more willing to trust to mercy from God, than his fellow men. Cruel revenge, weak woman's valor. The recompense of cowardly Ruffians.



Section 7, page 7/7

SO THIS IS WAR

October 21, 1861

Dear Book:

Wrote a letter home today, telling them I was going to start South again. Lucy and Lenore can hardly talk about it. And all the children, both boys and girls have asked me to stay. They can't realize why I would not like to stay, and I would love to, for perhaps I will not find as nice a home next place I go, but we cannot always look for pleasant places in this world, for happiness is the gay tomorrow of our lives. We plan for it, and wait for it-

-and yet it ne'ar arrives.

October 24, 1861

Well, in the morning, I start again. Mrs. Carrol's Aunt came today. A sweet dear lady, and I am sure that they will not miss me so much as I will miss them, for I am sure she is going to a great comfort to Mrs. Carrol and the children. I must start alone as no company of Refugees seem to be coming this way. Went out into the pasture today and Dude seems altogether fit for the journey. Mr. Carrol left last night sometime, but late yesterday he put new shoes on Dude, and gave me directions as to the best roads to take, and as I was ready to go to my room last evening, he shook hands with me, and thanked me for what comfort, and help I had been to his wife, and wished me God-speed and a safe journey. While I stood and choked in my throat, and thought how brave, to leave his sweet girls and boys, but of course, it must be done, and no man is safe now, who is of military age--(unless he is entirely disabled) he is better off in one Army or the other. Joe came over to-day, and I could not find it in my heart to laugh at his queer, ignorant, talk for---after all, he represents a class of people down there, that are in almost as pitiful condition as the Negro.

And as I looked at him, and thought that perhaps before the war was over, he might really and truly be a soldier and maybe add his life to countless others in this awful War, I could feel nothing but pity and sadness. So when he came and held out his hand to say "Good Bye", I turned and looked in my carpet bag, and found a knife I had and gave it to him for a keepsake, and told him I hoped if he went to War, that he would be a good soldier, so he left proud and happy.

Well, dear book, it's getting late. The girls are waiting for me to come up to bed where I can "cuddle up" with them and tell them once more of the Spring, the stone milk-house, and the steps all cut in the stones that lead up to the house. Seems they never tire of hearing me describe it, and want me to talk them to sleep, which I do most every night. So now I must close and put you in the "carpet bag" for everything must be ready for traveling. And so if I neglect you for a while, don't fear. I will not forget altogether.

Lavina

"HOPE"

Be "Thou" my rainbow mid the storms of life,

The shining "Beam" that drives the clouds away;

Be "Thou" with me in these days of strife,

"Abide" with me until the "Perfect Day".

Ann Farris.

 

[freebird]

it's got me riveted! Hope you have a wonderful Memorial Day.

 

[Ada Veen]

This is wonderful, thank you so much for sharing :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

 

[Panamabob]

This is great history. I'm going to share it with my classes as I can. Funny, too, as I have great friends from Bolivar (rhymes with Oliver!).

 

[Puyallup Lee]

It looks like I forgot to post last night, so I will add to the story today.

Section 8, page 1/5

"STRANGE HIGHWAYS LEAD TO WHERE"

October 25, 1861

Dear Close Friend:- We are out on strange roads once more this morning. Joe came over and saddled Dude for me, and after I had said Good Bye to Mrs. Carrol and the children, and came out to the gate, he saw that I had been crying, so he came and held out his hand, and said, "Don't cry. If I could help you I would, but I do hope you find your husband all right."

Now what nicer wish could he have made? I am sure that beneath his ragged coat is the heart of a gentleman, even if education is lacking. We have come about forty miles to day. I am so afraid the weather will get bad. I want to do my best to reach Dardenell soon, and another reason for haste is that there are rumors of the Army going further South. Oh, wouldn't it be awful if he is gone when I get there. But I must not think of such things. I just must reach him. One thing today that happened made me feel sick and faint. Dude is really an easy rider and we were going along at a nice easy swing, when all at once I detected an offensive odor in the air. Close Friend it was not the odor of any dead animal. I know for Dude was very unwilling to pass the spot, and snorted and almost made me fall. He plunged about so as I tried to urge him along the road, but with such urging, and a few cuts with the whip, we passed, and I turned my head away and shut my eyes lest I see things that I did not want to gaze upon. I told the lady who had taken me in for the night, about it. She said that hunters had found several bodies of men lately, that had been killed by "Brush Whackers".

This is what they call a class of men who are not fighting for either side, but only kill and plunder. The people are getting a little braver and speak out their thoughts mor down here than in Missouri. I suppose I am not getting into the real South. There are two men and a woman ("slaves") here at this place. It seems queer to me to see the family sit and order those blacks just like they were children. After supper the slave woman washed the dishes. The mistress then gave her some of the food that was left, and some meal and bacon, and she went out to a little log house in the corner of the yard and prepared supper for the two men and herself. I ask the woman which one of the men was her husband.

She laughed and said, "Neither or both." I must have looked shoked, for she laughed again and said, "You will get used to such as you go South."

Close Friend it seems like each day brings something strange and different for me to grow accustomed to. Sometimes I think I never will be myself again as I was just two short years ago.

It's late so I must get ready for bed. There is no Lucy and Lenore to cuddle up to-night. I sure do miss them. It's not so lonely if you have someone to reach over and touch, if you wake up in the night, or to hold a little hand as you slip off to sleep. There is only a husband and wife and her Uncle (who is old) in this family. The husband is a cripple with only one arm.

I suppose that's why they are both at home. They don't think I will find the Army at Dardenell, but one can never tell, perhaps they will move North, and I will meet John sooner than I expect.

Wouldn't that be fine? Well, well, I am tired, but not sleepy.

Don't think I ever will sleep, but I must say Good-night and try at least.

Section 8, page 2/5

"STRANGE HIGHWAYS LEAD TO WHERE"

October 26, 1861

Dear Close Friend:--- Well, Dude and myself left Berryville, just as the sun arose this morning, and after I had been riding about an hour, I felt so cold, and I thought I would get down and walk a distance, so I did, and as I walked along my mind kept running back home. I did not write them that I was going on for I did not wish to give them worry, but will write as soon as I reach Dardenell. I suppose I had walked about two miles, and was begining to feel tired. So I led Dude up to the rail fence (or rather was trying to get him close to it.) He was stubborn and would move away as I was trying to get him up to it, and out from a side road a few yards away a man came riding on a pretty black horse. I am going to describe him. He must have been near six feet in height, with fair skin, and blue eyes, and red hair which was in long curls except a roach cut over the forehead. He wore a wide rim white had, had trousers tucked into high topped boots.

He halted and ask if he might assist me, and when I answered, "If you will, please." He put his hat back upon his head which he had removed, and instead of leading Dude to the fence, he extended his hand, and said, "Step in." and what else could I do?

So I set my foot in his palm, and he swung me into the saddle like a feather. (my I did feel silly). I murmured, "thanks" and expected him to ride on, but no, he has ridden with me all day.

He has not said where he was going or asked me where my destination was. When we started to ride, he asked me if I was going far, and I said, "a couple of days ride". Then he said, "I will ride with you as far as I go. My name is Clark."

So I answered, and said, "Mine is Delzell". After this he talked of the country we were passing through, and a little of the War, but did not say which side had his sympathy. And after all, he has made the day a lot pleasanter, and I have felt safer.

He would dismount and get me a drink when we passed springs, and about eleven o'clock we passed a little store. He said, "I want to go inside, will you please hold my reins?" And when he came out he had a lunch and some apples which he insisted that I share with him. As the sun was getting low, he said, "I think we should ask for lodgings at the next house."

I said, "Yes sir." So as we came to the next place, he stopped and asked, and they took us in. But when we had eaten our supper, and bed-time came, this lady said to me, "I have prepared this room for you and your husband."

"Oh, no", I cried, in surprise. "He is not my husband. We only met on the journey, and have only traveled to-day." Now, why did he not tell them in the first place? But he seemed almost as embarassed as I did. So I suppose he thought I could tell them. Well, one thing he did say to-day was that the Southern Army was on the retreat from Dardenell to Houston, Texas. Oh, Dear, if this is true. And its getting so late, and soon will be too cold to travel. How can I live if I don't find John. I still have most of my money, as Mrs. Carrol would not take a penny, said, "I had been too much help and comfort to her." Now wasn't that nice? I would have gladly paid her, but she would not----Oh, how I miss the girls tonight. They were like having Jane and Mandy. If I do find John gone, where will I ever find as good friends again. Well, Well, "all must be endured, which can't be cured" they say, but one thing, I hope that this will soon be over. Seems like I can't bear much more.

I believe that I will soon catch up with the Army for they won't retreat so fast, they will try to hold their ground.

Just now, I heard horses feet and went to the window and there in the bright moon-light, I could see the soldiers passing in their blue uniforms, and their brass buttons gleaming in the light. I counted, until I counted 180 riding in pairs, and since I have come back to my writing, I hear more passing. I heard the family also moving about. I suppose they saw them.

Well, all I hope is that they don't need any more horses---I don't care about swapping horses with soldiers any more. So will stop now and go to bed. One thing is sure, I am going to pay my own lodging in the morning, for I don't want Mr. Clark to do it, and besides I don't want to feel obligated to him in any way. But I hope he can stay with me all day to-morrow as I might come into some of those soldiers, who have just passed, and there are so many "Blacks" down here that I am getting afraid. I never thought I would be a coward, but they feel that they are going to be freed and of course, that makes them more dangerous. Well, once more, I am going to close you up. I am wondering what I can write on your pages when I reach Dardenell.

L. E. D.


Section 8, page 3/5

"STRANGE HIGHWAYS LEAD TO WHERE"

October 27, 1861

Dear close Friend:--- Well, I am within eight miles of Dardenell, but I have found out for certain that the Army is gone!

To day is so cold, it began to get much cooler about ten o'clock, and by noon the sun was gone, and then about two o'clock, Mr. Clark rode along, and consulted a small map, which he took from his pocket. Finally he said, "I don't think you can reach Dardenell today, but you can almost, and if you do you will have to ride hard and late. I think if I were you I would ask for lodging before dark. For I must leave you at the next town."

I really felt sorry. He had been so nice, and had not asked questions, but I felt that I must have advice from someone, so I told him all about my trip, and why I was traveling alone. He listened with a look of amazement, and when I had finished he said, "Would that all men could find a love so true! But now I think you should find some friends and stay with them until you can get word to your husband.

For I am sure he would be greatly troubled id he knew you were traveling alone. You have been very fortunate so far, but this is a dangerous time for you to travel alone. Promise me that you will try to find a home, for winter is almost upon us. Maybe by Spring he will be coming back this way. Or, better yet, maybe it will all be over, and you and he can return home together."

I said, yes, and that I felt that it would be best.

We were in sight of the small village by this time, and as we entered, he insisted upon me getting down and eating a lunch and drinking some coffee, which I did, and this time he paid the bill.

How could I refuse after he had been such a gentleman. So after we had eaten our lunch, we rode on out of town to where the roads crossed, and there he halted, saying, "Dear lady, I have enjoyed our ride, and can say I have seen one girl who is brave and good enough to keep her marriage vows. And I hope someday to meet your husband, so I can tell him what a fortunate man he is." And what could I do, but sit and look down the road, and when he finished speaking, I said, "I am sorry you are not going farther along my way, for you have made me feel safer, and I will never forget your kindness, and I hope you reach your destination safely." I held out my hand. He took my hand and said, "Good-bye, be sure and find friends, and don't ride farther, until you can know where your husband is,-- and once again, Good Bye."

He turned his horse to the East while I rode on South, but I looked back and saw his red curls flying in the wind, and was wondering what his journey was all about. When he turned, and seeing me looking back, he waved his hat. I felt a bit foolish to think he saw me looking so much, then I lifted my hand in return, and never looked back again. I wonder if I will ever meet him again, and what the folks at home would think if they knew that I had traveled almost two days, and had told my story to a stranger, but, "Close Friend" I know he is one of "Nature's Gentlemen".

Well, I have not said a word yet about the people who have given me shelter for the night. I took Mr. Clark's advice and asked for a nights lodging early, besides, I was so cold riding.

When I rode up to the gate the dogs began to bark. A big Yellow "Nigger" came out and when I told him that I wanted to stay over-night, I was traveling. He returned to the house and then came back and led my horse up to the block where I got down, and when I reached the porch, I was met by a kindly faced woman, and she asked me into the house. Oh, how nice the fire looked in the fire-place, at the same time I could not keep my voice from trembling, as I thought of the fire-place at home, and the woman noticed it, and gave me a gentle pat on the shoulder, and laid my wraps on the bed and placed a chair up near the fire.

She had introduced me to her husband as I took off my wraps (I had told her my name as I entered the house). Mr. Blanchard arose and when I was seated, turned and asked the "yellow slave" where he had put my horse, and asked about it's feed. Soon a black woman came in, and announced that supper was waiting. Then we went into the dining room and had the very nicest supper ever. Hot biscuits, ham, potatoes and butter, honey and good rich milk to drink. These people must be wealthy. The house is large, must be eight or nine rooms, and out by the orchard is seven or eight "Log Huts". I have learned by now that they are called "Slave-quarters". So suppose they have several. Then, after supper, while we sat by the fire, Mrs. Blanchard ask me if I had come very far, and when I told her, she fairly gasped for breath. All this distance alone. I don't know what made me, but I think it's disappointment of the Army being gone after I have come so far, and hoped to see John, but when she said that, I just broke into tears and cried and cried, while she sat and held my hand and patted it gently. After I could talk better I told them that I wanted to find some friends, and stay here until I could hear from John.

Mr. Blanchard spoke and said, "There is Sally Howell, the very place." They say she is a widow lady. Her two boys Eliga and Sam are in the Army, and tomorrow they are to take me over to see her.

Well, close friend I did hope to have something nice to write in you when I arrived here, but all I can say is "HE IS GONE". But God has been so good to me in sending me the good friends that I have met. I am sure he will be good to John.

So I must stop and write to Mrs. Carrol, I promised her sure.

If I find out that I am going to get to stay here with this lady they speak of, then I must write the folks at home. This is all for to-night.

L.E.D.


This looks like a good place to stop.

Lee

 

[freebird]

Oh, I wish she had given Mr Clark's first name...Clark is my surname and my folks came from Arkansas. Red hair also runs in the family, although I don't know if anyone in the family had curly hair. I wonder if he was one of my ancestors. [huh]

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Freebird, it could be one of your ancestors. Here is more of the story.

Section 8, page 4/5

"STRANGE HIGHWAYS LEAD TO WHERE"

November 1, 1861

Close Friend:--

I have been so busy that I have not wrote you a line for several days. Next morning after I stayed at Mr. Blanchard's they took me over to see Mrs. Howell. We went in great formality.

The yellow "Nigger" came in and said, "The carriage is waiting."

When we went out, it was sure enough, also two black slaves, one for a driver and the other sat on the seat behind. Don't know what they wanted with him. All he did was to get down and open the doors of the carriage. I could have done that. Well, when we had been seated a few minutes, and had made a few remarks about the weather, Mrs. Blanchard said, "I will tell you our mission. This girl is traveling South, trying to join her husband and thought she would find the Army at Dardenell, but as it's gone, and winter is here, she would like a home. She flashed her black eye's at me and said, "What will you charge me?" Well, it was soon settled that I was to help her sew a bit for she sews for part of her living. So we went back to the Blanchard home for Dude and my things. But do you think they let me ride over? Oh no, another trip in the carriage, this time with the "slave-man". The door-man riding Dude after he had safely shut the door for me. How strange! Why do they always want a slave in their sight? I would feel better to do such things for myself and not have them in the way. Anyway, I am here in Mrs. Howell's home, and am glad, for it is getting very cold.

Tonight after Luke (that's her slave man) had put a big log on the fire, Mrs. Howell said, "That's all for tonight Luke, but you and Lucy go to quarters and go to bed." Well, at least Lucy is his wife. She only has the two. Then after while she said, "I am troubled about my boys. The last I heard from them Lige said that he would be home soon. I want to see him, but since the Army has retreated South, and so many Yankees are in the country. I am afraid for them to come. Lavina (I told her to call me that, she is older so I say Mrs. Howell) Lavina, I want you to help me tonight. Are you afraid in the dark?" I laughed and said, "No more than in the light. The dark is nothing."

"Well," she said, "I want to hide some thread. When the War started, I bought a supply as the home-spun thread won't sew on the machine" (she really and truly has a machine to sew on). It's the only one that I have seen yet. So she opened a closet door and took out a box of spools and spools of all colors, mostly black and white, then she went into the kitchen and brought a six-gallon jar, and into this we carefully packed all we could and placed a lid on it and sealed it tight with sealing wax.

"Now," she said, "we will go see if Luke and Lucy are in bed." The lights were out in the cabin, so we put on our wraps, got a spade and the jar of thread, and as we were leaving the house, Mrs. Howell reached into the bureau drawer, and took out a dirk-knife with a beautiful pearl handle, and thrust it inside her dress. At my anxious looks she smiled and said, "I promised the boys I would never go out nights, without it."

I asked her if she would use it in case of danger.

"Yes, if necessary," she said. When I look into those black eyes, I somehow believe she would. Well, we went down into the Orchard close to an old broken tree, and dug a hole, or I did. She was so awkward trying to dig, and so while I dug she kept watch, and when we got it buried, she laid a limb of the tree over it. And as we came back to the house, she passed the cabin, and called to Luke and Lucy, to see if they were in bed. You can't trust a "Nigger" she said. "Not any of them?" I asked. "No," she answered, "they are just like animals." But I don't feel that way about them. It seems to me if they were treated differently they would be better.

When we got back to the house we sat and talked and I told her about my short married life at the Log House. Her husband had been dead for several years, and her boys were all she had to love. I felt sorry for her, but I hated to hear her say so many hard things about the Union men. I could see "Dear Pap" and all the good neighbors at home and knew they were a part of the "Devlish Yankees" that she was talking about, but of course, I did not tell her, and she, knowing that John was in the Southern Army, did not guess how I felt, and did not know that my folks were Union.

Anyway she is nice to me, but someday when we know each other better, I am going to tell her.

L. E. D.


Section 8, page 5/5

"STRANGE HIGHWAYS LEAD TO WHERE"

November 18. 1861

Close Friend:-- It will soon be Thanksgiving. At first I thought I did not want it to come. There was so little to be thankful for, but today I got two letters, one from home and one from Mrs. Carrol and the girls. All was well, and was so glad that I had found a good home. "Dear Pap" sent me some more money, I must tell him not to send me any more. I have most all he gave me when I started, and it's too risky for him to send it now as the mail is so uncertain. No use to send it and perhaps get if lost. Mrs. Howell went to the kitchen today with her cook book, and read a recipe, and saw that Lucy carried out the directions, and between them they baked a nice fruit cake, for she thinks one of the boys will be home for Thanksgiving. She intends to kill a turkey also. She says we might as well, as the Yankee soldiers may come any time and eat them up. The soldiers will just ride up and demand a meal, and the slaves are only too glad to cook it. For they tell them that they are fighting for their freedom. After they have eaten all they wanted, if you do anything to make them mad, they are likely to destroy something else. So people just feed them, and make the best of it.

A company of men came to the Blanchard home last week and demanded food. Mr. Blanchard told the slaves to cook what they could find. One of the soldiers said, "Oh, we'll find enough, alright." So they went out to the barn-lot and shot a hog, and then they skinned it, and put the slave sooks to frying it, before the animal heat was out of it. Mrs. Blanchard was over and told us all about it. She said that she got some satisfaction out of it, hoping it would make them all sick, and that they would die. She said when they were almost ready to eat, one fellow said, "What's the matter of having honey and hot biscuits." And pointed out to the bee-hives. No one wanted to rob the stands, although two or three ventured to do it and got stung. Finally one fellow came up, and said, "Wait a minute."

He took a rope and tied a lasso, and threw it over the stand of bees, and then dragged it away off down the yard, and left most of the bees buzzing angrily back where the stand was turned over.

So they had honey, hot biscuits, fried pork and coffee. And after about four hours they rode on. Mrs. Blanchard says that they put a lot of "devilment" in the "Blacks" heads, and she would not be a bit surprised if some of them run off and join the Army. For a great many of the slaves are doing that. They give them such glowing accounts of the Army.

L. E. D.


Section 9, page 1/5

"WHERE DUTY CALLS"

"Stern duty, Thou art a light to guide a rod,

To check the erring and reprove;

Thou, who art Victory and Law,

When empty terrors over awe,

Give unto me, --lowly and wise,

The spirit of self-sacrifice.

--Words-worth.

One day in early December of 1861, a small group of tired men sat around a camp fire. They were not talking much, as each one seemed busy with his own thoughts, occasionally one would venture a remark to the one nearest him, but generally a brief "yes" or "no", or an answer of a few words would end the conversation. Their hearts were heavy, and their minds were going back to the little town of Pea Ridge, Arkansas, where they had fought so bitterly and lost----and to those of their company who had been left there in forced retreat, which they had been compelled to make (of those who were killed it was not so dreadful to think) but of the sick and wounded that they were forced to leave dying and suffering, perhaps without friends or help.

Suddenly all stood at attention. A superior officer had stepped out in the fire-light, and as they gravely saluted, he asked, "Is Private Delzell present?" "Here," came the answer from a distance. "You are requested to report at once to General Marmedukes' head quarters."

Lets sketch a mental picture of this man as he goes--- 5ft. 8in. in height, dark brown hair, ruddy complection and yellowish gray eyes in which was blended a look of gentleness, yet with a cool, calm glitter of self control, and courage. He is walking briskly with an easy swing, and if he is tired or discouraged, he hides it all. At the entrance of the Officer's tent, he salutes and is told to enter. "Be seated Delzell." said the General, --After a brief pause, General Marmedukes said, "Did you not do some scout work under Sterling Price before you were transfered to my command?" "Yes Sir," answered young Delzell.

"Well, so I was told," said the General. "I have a message that must be carried----and speed is important, but the most important of all, is to deliver the message, or else see that it's destroyed, in case of capture, and does not get into the hands of our enemies. Are you willing to accept this task?" "I am at your command, sir," said John. "How soon can you start?" asked the General. "At once," replied John.

"Very well, - then go to the supply sargeant and select yourself some good, strong comfortable shoes, in case you are forced to leave your horse, and get a good animal that will stand hard riding, and report back to me by 11:30 tonight." John arose, saluted, and left the tent. There is no need for us to follow him to the horses, for he knows horses, and we may be sure he will select one entirely fit for the work, but let's go with him, or rather follow him a few minutes. Out through the tents of Officers, and past camp fires of different groupes of men, he walked as if he was going for a load of fire-wood. Not a hint of his mission did he betray, either with word, or manner, nothing of the Coward or Braggart in John. Stopping a few minutes at one time, to speak a few words to a good friend, and only telling him as he walked away that perhaps he would not see him for a while as he was to do some scout work, and with a hand-clasp he strode on past the men, until he came to the supply tent, and we will wait here until he comes out.



Lee