GHT
I'll Lock Up
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Clean Jokes
- Thread starter jamespowers
- Start date
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- Messages
- 19,408
- Location
- Funkytown, USA
- Messages
- 19,408
- Location
- Funkytown, USA
This one made me laugh out loud.
- Messages
- 12,917
- Location
- Germany
One of the best german children jokes of all times! But in the sense of Berlin dialect.
Berlin.
A man stands on his balcony and takes care of his flowers. Suddenly, he sees a little snail crawling in them. Takes the snail and throws it down in the yard.
Two years later. The doorbell rings. The snail. Such a neck!
"Tell me, WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT??"
Berlin.
A man stands on his balcony and takes care of his flowers. Suddenly, he sees a little snail crawling in them. Takes the snail and throws it down in the yard.
Two years later. The doorbell rings. The snail. Such a neck!
"Tell me, WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT??"
Tiki Tom
My Mail is Forwarded Here
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- 3,386
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- Oahu, North Polynesia
I do love German humour.
Person A: "Did you hear that Karl got fired the other day?"
Person B: "What happened?"
Person A: "Going out the front door, the Security Guard caught him stealing toilet paper."
Person B (shaking head): "The idiot. ...I told him he should only try to steal one roll at a time."
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- Messages
- 14,779
- Messages
- 11,997
- Location
- Southern California
- Messages
- 14,779
- Messages
- 11,997
- Location
- Southern California
^ That's just 'cause you're a Mad Dog, Bob.
- Messages
- 10,918
- Location
- My mother's basement
A monk enters the monastery, where he takes a vow of silence, the only exception to which is the two words, and only two words, he is allowed with the abbot once every decade.
So 10 years pass and during his audience with the abbot he says “food cold.”
After another decade, after the monk had been there 20 years, he tells the abbot “bed hard.”
Another decade goes by, and the monk, who has now been at the monastery 30 years, says “I quit.”
“That’s just as well,”‘replies the abbot. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”
So 10 years pass and during his audience with the abbot he says “food cold.”
After another decade, after the monk had been there 20 years, he tells the abbot “bed hard.”
Another decade goes by, and the monk, who has now been at the monastery 30 years, says “I quit.”
“That’s just as well,”‘replies the abbot. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”
- Messages
- 12,917
- Location
- Germany
The new improved Kriegsmarine open-air U-boat toilet.
-easy to install!
-always fresh air!
-automatic flushing!!
"But the flushing often came to soon..."
-easy to install!
-always fresh air!
-automatic flushing!!
"But the flushing often came to soon..."
- Messages
- 11,997
- Location
- Southern California
How would you find Will Smith in the snow?
Just go outside and look for the fresh prints.
Tukwila
My Mail is Forwarded Here
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- 3,382
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A crappy joke, to be sure...The new improved Kriegsmarine open-air U-boat toilet.
-easy to install!
-always fresh air!
-automatic flushing!!
"But the flushing often came to soon..."
- Messages
- 12,917
- Location
- Germany
A crappy joke, to be sure...
It was reality, but the pictures are just to good.
They were creative and improved the bad toilet situation onboard permanently.
You know, the VII boats, for example, had two toilets, the main toilet chamber and the auxiliary-WC chamber behind the galley. But the auxiliary-WC was normally crowded with proviant!
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Benny Holiday
My Mail is Forwarded Here
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- 3,792
- Location
- Sydney Australia
I can just imagine the sharks:
"Hey Bob, we oughta stick to following the trawlers. The chum from this long slim boat tastes like sh . . . "
"Hey Bob, we oughta stick to following the trawlers. The chum from this long slim boat tastes like sh . . . "
- Messages
- 11,997
- Location
- Southern California
Yeah, but can you imagine being one of those submariners right in the middle of "taking care of business" and over the loudspeakers you hear the command "Dive! Dive! Dive!" ("Tauchen, tauchen tauchen!")?
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^ Oh, the science geeks who think they understand the theory of "warp drive" would tear that to shreds.
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