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wearing a fedora to a wedding. Etiquette.

vespasian

One of the Regulars
Messages
175
Location
Kent, UK
First big question is should a guy wear a smart hat to a wedding where the groom and male entourage do not? Does it show bad form for a guy to turn up and possibly by the addition of that hat draw attention from the groom?

I'm talking a summer(well for the UK) wedding, so likely not to be meditteranean hot.

Generally speaking here women do not wear hats any more to weddings, though a few persist.
 

Biltmore Bob

Suspended
Messages
1,721
Location
Spring, Texas... Y'all...
I wouldn't let it bother me none...

If a hat is as much a part of you as it is me, you'll look out of place without one.

Be like me and just do whatever the heck you want. I wear my hats at outdoor weddings and to funerals. I was a Pall Bearer at my Mother in Laws funeral two years ago and I was the only gentleman with a wearing a hat. I received nothing but complements. Of course I only wore it outside the Funeral Home and at the graveside.
 

WEEGEE

Practically Family
Messages
996
Location
Albany , New York
WEAR THAT HAT

As-- Biltmore Bob said "If a hat is as much a part of you as it is me, you'll look out of place without one."

Yes, i think if you are invited...your hat is as well.

I am a photojournalist...go alot of places in my hats. I do photograph a couple of weddings a year and i do ask the clients ahead of time and
they always are pleased that i would dress well for thier special day.
 

GateXC

One of the Regulars
Messages
117
Location
Manhattan
This past summer I went to a wedding up in northern New Hampshire where it was actually pretty hot so I packed my Hardy Aimes linen suit and my Borsalino straw hat. Wore them both to the church, outside the church, and to the reception. Got a couple quizzical looks, lots of compliments, and took nothing away from my buddy who was getting married.

Wear the hat.
 

photobyalan

A-List Customer
I vote for the hat. Just take it off for the ceremony and for dinner, if there is one. Last wedding we went to, I left the lid in the car at the reception because they did not have any sort of hat check and I didn't want to lose it or get it ruined. Keeping it on my head was not an option because I refuse to wear a hat at a sit-down dinner.
 

Kaleponi Craig

A-List Customer
Messages
418
Location
Just North of San Francisco
Depends on the groom, but I don't think it would be a problem. I wore my Panama fedora to a wedding last summer and the groom certainly didn't seem to mind. Since we ate outside in the full sun, a couple of guys told me they wish they'd have brought their lids...KC
 

budward

One of the Regulars
Messages
153
Location
Dallas, TX
I say wear the hat. You shouldn't be on par with the groom in terms of formality unless you wear a top hat, and therefore shouldn't show him up. I'm assuming he'll wear a tuxedo, and I don't think a fedora works with that, so you and he will be dressed on different levels of formality. But I already said that. Were you a groomsman, you might want to give the hat a rest. My $.02.

Bud
 

Kent Canary

New in Town
Messages
7
I bought my hat specifically for a wedding. A couple of others had great oloking hats too, and wore them inside the ceremony, though I chose to take mine off inside the registry office but not inside the hall beforehand.

Others wore their hats inside the ceremony but Ive always been taught (I say 'taught') to take my hat off indoors (mainly Boys Brigade before going into Church). Although this wedding was a civil ceremony I felt comfortable wearing it up until we went inside for the service. Then it was time to take it off.

I think you'll know what to do and when, I wouldnt worry about upstaging anyone.
 

Andykev

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,118
Location
The Beautiful Diablo Valley
I'd wear it using proper hat manners :)

Don't wear it in the church or during the ceremony if outdoors, remove it out of respect. Outside, you should wear your hat, if part of your look. I went to a nice wedding a couple of summers ago at the University of Santa Clara. Nice place, with outside tables with umbrellas, and an inside dance hall. There was a nice young man wearing a beautiful Panama hat, and we immediatly had something to discuss. He looked "well dressed" in his suit, tie, and hat. Kind of a summer formal look. No one had anything bad to say. Now if you wore a baseball cap.......:rage:
 
Messages
10,603
Location
My mother's basement
Attended an outdoor wedding on a scorching day last summer (yes, it gets quite hot over on the dry side of the Cascades). Wore a nice straw to the event but removed it during the ceremony. I don't think, though, that it would have been such a faux pas had I left it on, seeing how half the men in attendance were either not in their suit jackets (or sports jackets) while the ceremony was in progress, or came without neckties. Didn't bother me any, but still, I was one of only two men there wearing hats, and removing mine during the "solemn" part of the proceedings seemed most appropriate.
 

photobyalan

A-List Customer
Outdoors is different. My feeling is that, outdoors, you only need to remove your hat when the national anthem is played or when a color guard passes. It's also respectful to remove your hat when a funeral procession passes and when speaking to a lady. Other than that, I think you can leave it on when outdoors,even during a marriage ceremony or while eating the fanciest dinner.
 

Solid Citizen

Practically Family
Messages
922
Location
Maryland
No Hat

Attended a wedding last year where the groom showed up during the reception sporting a fedora. Nice lid , but just looked out of place, so glad I showed up without a lid.

Peter :rolleyes:
 

vespasian

One of the Regulars
Messages
175
Location
Kent, UK
And yet if you had taken your hat with you he would not have looked half as out of place as he did. Got to be carefull not to run with the flock just because its easy. Anyone ever remember a particular sheep? Plus its a bit like thinking the bride looked odd in a veil because no-one else was wearing one, I would think that of all the men there the one looking least odd for being different would be the groom. Thank god he didnt bleat and wear a wool coat. But I follow your thinking Peter, it feels odd to be different, but for me it feels odd in a good way.
 

Doh!

One Too Many
Messages
1,079
Location
Tinsel Town
I went to an outdoor wedding last summer, but days before the event I asked the groom if the venue was in the shade. He assured me that it was, so I left my panama at home.

My ears are still sunburned.
 

Michaelson

One Too Many
Messages
1,840
Location
Tennessee
I agree with Andy. I wore my custom gray AB to my eldest daughters wedding. I wore it to the reception, but took it off using the proper hat ediquette. Had nothing but positive comments regarding how smart the hat made me and my 3 piece suit look....and I need all the compliments I can get. ;)

Regards! Michaelson
 

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