Wedding Tie patterns

[boushi_mania]

Hi, everyone.

So, now that I'm engaged, my fiancée and I (as well as my parents) are just about up to our eyeballs in preparation for the wedding ceremony coming up this August. That means finalizing a lot of tiny, tiny details, including flowers, table settings, number and selection of ushers and bridesmaids, best man and maid of honor, etc. And along with that, I also have to decide where to set the level of dress.

As it is, we're planning a secular, relatively informal affair in the countryside of northern New York, so as much as I'd like to dress to the nines in the morning ensemble I'm very slowly assembling behind my fiancée's back, we'll probably end up having everyone in suits. At any rate, it's probably better than leaving rentals for the wedding party to my parents back in the states: they grew up in the '60s, and have funny ideas about what constitutes "formal"--like the ruffled shirt my dad wore at their 1977 wedding. (I can probably still use the morning dress for an official wedding-portrait back in Japan at some point.)

That said, I would like to include one small nod to tradition in the ceremony, so while everyone will be wearing their own suit and white shirt, I'm hoping to at least coordinate the neckties to some degree. To that end, I've been reading up on the "wedding necktie" and what designs are appropriate.

Thus far, I've found references to five kinds: houndstooth, shepherd's check, Glen plaid, Macclesfield, and Spitalfields. I really wasn't sure what these looked like, but after a fair amount of image searching, I came across these images that help clarify some of what this is talking about, which are as follows:

Houndstooth (this appears to be the "classic", which actually looks like a dog's tooth):

Houndstooth? (a different, "pinwheel" pattern):

Shepherd's check (very small checkerboard pattern):

Glen plaid (check made by alternating weaves, like my ivy cap):

Macclesfield (appears to be a pinpoint check):

The one thing I'm not entirely sure about is the Spitalfields, which I haven't found a concrete image of. Illustrations I've seen seem to indicate it may be more of a general style with a small repeating motif (like circles or squares) on a solid background, but I'm not entirely sure.

Of course, this being the Lounge, I thought that the good people here might be able to fill in my own gaps in knowledge, and expose me to a good deal of detail that would help steer me in the right direction. Any help you can give would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Mike in Seattle]

First houndstooth is nice, as is the glen plaid. If you go with blue instead of black or gray, the second houndstooth would be my choice. The others look a little...busy or the pattern's not going to reproduce well on photos unless they're extreme close-ups.

That said...personally...

Hold out for the morning suit...and then if you have to, give in to a tux. DON'T go with suits. In the photos of the "special day" that you'll look at later, you'll kick yourself that you didn't go all-out on this very, very special occasion.

Friends who got married in September have already mentioned a couple of times that they'd wished they'd gone with all of the men in tuxes instead of suits. Don't get me wrong - it was a lovely event, but I somewhat cringed when I got to see the outfits beforehand, but I zipped my lip. Brown suits...ugh. It looked OK with the maroon bridesmaid's outfits and they could put the 2 little boys in the party in matching vests with both colors (maroon and chocolate), and the flower girls' dresses was the same fabric as the boys' vest, but the photos just look a little blah with all the guys in somewhat matching brown suits.

Theoretically, it's supposed to be a once-in-a-lifetime event and you don't get a do-over. Thirty years from now, do you want your children to look at the photos, laughing and thinking "Dad had a funny idea of fashion...but at least it wasn't as bad as the ruffled shirt grandpa wore!" It's yours and the bride's day to get what YOU want...not what other want or would be more comfortable with.

I've ever heard anyone expressing regret about the past for taking it up a fews notches with items for a wedding or other special ocassion. ("Gee, I wish my dress wouldn't have been that pretty!") I have, however, heard many regretting that they didn't make it just a little bit more special and memorable, or cut some corners. ("Why or why did I let you talk me into getting married in jeans & a Dashiki in a field out in the middle of nowhere?")

At least, that's my two cents worth...

And last - whatever you decide, I'm sure I speak for everyone in saying we expect to see photos after the joyous event.

 

[Alex Oviatt]

These are all great choices. "Silver" ties like these are perfect for weddings (I wore a silver Spitalfields from Bowring Arundel for my own wedding). Alan Flusser's books have some useful information on these classic ties. By the way, Brooks Brothers has been including some of these patterns lately in their tie offerings and may be a good, affordable source for your ties. Good luck and congrats!

 

[filfoster]

ties

Add my voice to the chorus for silver ties. My own, 29 years ago, was less formal but I wore a very nice silver/black narrow stripe Brooks Brothers tie. Wish I still had it as a keepsake but it frayed out after many non-wedding wearings. (Jim Gaffogan sotto voice: 'What! He wore his wedding tie to work? What's wrong with him?')

 

[boushi_mania]

Thanks for the advice.

As for the formality of the event, my main concern was not so much my parents' inability to choose formalwear, as it was the fact that the ceremony will be held outside in midsummer. Vintage wedding guides suggest that such occasions call for a gabardine or other lightweight suit in tan, or else a navy blazer and white flannel slacks along with a bold-figured tie. But, like Mike in Seattle, people are telling me left and right that a suit is too plain for what's supposed to be (one of) the happiest day(s) of my life.

That said, I have a back up plan, for which wedding ties are perhaps more appropriate: semi-formal morning dress. A heavy cutaway seems a bit much for August, but I could see myself in a stroller:

As for the ties, I've already had some successes. While browsing through the Kintetsu department store, I found a tie with just the sort of herringbone pattern and color contrast that I'd been looking for:

That in itself was good, but then I realized that the narrow end of the necktie was done in a glen plaid. I had a hunch that if that pattern existed on a narrow end, there was probably a model using it on the wide end too, so I checked the manufacturer's website and picked up tie #2. So that covers at least the best man and me.

I had a near-miss when I found a shepherd's check on sale in red/white, but an exhaustive search of the vicinity turned up no black-and-white counterpart. On reflection, I should have checked the brand name and looked them up online when I got home, but it slipped my mind.

On the bright side, though, I did manage to find some grey suede gloves on sale. They're a bit darker than they looked in-store (and really for cold weather moreso than formalwear), but they should do the job if I'm going to do morning dress.