Settling in?

Miss Neecerie · Aug 5, 2010

Adcurium said:
Hey, that's where Frank Sinatra was born! Hoboken is gooood country!
This advice is worth exactly what you paid for it: If you stay in your comfort zone, you're less likely to grow (personally, professionally, spiritually, etc.). So, in our lives, we need to be uncomfortable, from time to time. I know... this is easier said than done but, relish it. You have a warm, safe place to sleep. That's more than a lot of other people. You're close to NYC. I know people who would give their left arm to be soo close to the city.

Go to a baseball game (Mets will be cheaper than the Yankees). Check the classifieds in the Sunday paper. There might be some 'cravans' that go into the city for games, museums and/or shopping trips.

Visit some museums (Sundays are often free). Hit a few local bookstores and libraries and inquire whether there are any book clubs. While you're there, thumb through a Frommer's or Foddor's travel guide and see what they suggest for local things to do/places to see.

Maybe take some sailing lessons on the Hudson. Or go to a Michael's craft strore and sign up for a cake decorating class or Williams and Sonomo for a cooking class. Or.... find some local loungers and INSIST that they buy you a few cocktails and introduce you to some of their friends. Then you'll start to enjoy the city and meet some people and you'll be loving Jersey!

Oh no....not bad advice at all...and things like this were in the plans....

I was probably talking more about actual home...inside...then I was the overall move....even though the combo of things is what has me feeling unsettled..I realise the other stuff is a 'takes time' sort of thing...the only thing I can control is how I feel in my more immediate surroundings...if that makes sense?

KittyT · Aug 5, 2010

Adcurium said:
Hey, take her to the Museum so she can run up the "Rocky Steps"

Screw the Rocky Steps! Take her to the museum to see the absolutely amazing collection of impressionist and modern art! Monet! Van Gogh! Kandinsky! Marcel Duchamp!

Adcurium · Aug 5, 2010

oooooooh. Gin. Lotsa Gin will do it.

lolly_loisides · Aug 5, 2010

Adcurium said:
oooooooh. Gin. Lotsa Gin will do it.

haha, but you can't do that 24 hours a day!

Playing lots of my favorite music when I feeling out of sorts (where ever I am) always makes me feel better.

Marla · Aug 5, 2010

I've moved four times in my short life, and the things that make me feel comfortable in a new place are...my things! I'm not tied to furniture or decor, but it's nice to have little personal possessions around. Whenever I travel or move I take my compact, favorite jewelry, vintage alarm clock, favorite clothes, etc. It's having my irreplaceable things with me that make all the difference and help to adjust to (and embrace) new surroundings quickly.

Miss Crisplock · Aug 5, 2010

Like

(that was for the Gin post)

Amy Jeanne · Aug 5, 2010

KittyT said:
Screw the Rocky Steps! Take her to the museum to see the absolutely amazing collection of impressionist and modern art! Monet! Van Gogh! Kandinsky! Marcel Duchamp!

You should see all the tourists in line to get their pictures taken with the Rocky statue lol And everytime I drive by there are people running up the steps a la Rocky.

I prefer what's inside too! lol

I've never seen any of the Rocky movies.

Miss Neecerie · Aug 5, 2010

Amy Jeanne said:
You should see all the tourists in line to get their pictures taken with the Rocky statue lol And everytime I drive by there are people running up the steps a la Rocky.

oh dear...that sounds rather like the giant queue to go into the 'cake boss' bakery...

I am not even from Hoboken and its vaguely embarassing that people wait in a 2 block long line to go into a bakery....:eusa_doh:

Wire9Vintage · Aug 5, 2010

Miss N, may I point you to your own tag line? That's pretty good advice for you right there

I grew up moving, so I can say this from experience: It just takes time. Find some friends, maybe even some other "out of sorts" types and be there for each other. When I was the new kid in school, I'd always try to find at least one other new kid. That way it's not you alone against the world. I think when we move, no matter how old we are, we always feel like the new kid in school. And it's amazing how different places in this country can be culturally. That alone knocks things out of kilter (for me, anyway).

Hang in there.

Adcurium · Aug 5, 2010

KittyT said:
Screw the Rocky Steps! Take her to the museum to see the absolutely amazing collection of impressionist and modern art! Monet! Van Gogh! Kandinsky! Marcel Duchamp!

Come on! I didn't mean go to the museum JUST to have your picture taken while jumping at the top of the stairs with your hands in the air like The Champ!

You do that on the way INTO the museum.

Oh please... deep down inside... everyone wants to run up those damn stairs. Now, even at 38, I would probably stroke-out 1/3 of the way up.

I watched a group of Japanese tourists go through the ritual and it seems to me it was included on their itinerary: 11:00 AM, Arrive at the museum. 11 AM - 11:45 AM, Take photos ala Rocky Balboa. 11:45, enter museum. Of course... all that would be written in Japanese.

Adcurium · Aug 5, 2010

Amy Jeanne said:
You should see all the tourists in line to get their pictures taken with the Rocky statue lol And everytime I drive by there are people running up the steps a la Rocky.

I prefer what's inside too! lol

I've never seen any of the Rocky movies.

**** ppppfpffffftfftfftftfpfpfpff!!!!! *********

(That was me spitting out my coffee... before screaming out loud: "WHAT?")

Adcurium · Aug 5, 2010

Amy Jeanne said:
Yea, I live near the museum!! And Eastern State Pennitentiary.

I would LOVE to 'visit' the pennitentiary! Can you get on the property at night?

Lily Powers · Aug 5, 2010

For me, I like to walk around the new neighborhood and get a feel for it - makes me feel like I belong. That way, I get a mental map of where I'll be living and can look at the faces and places that make up the neighborhood. Fresh flowers in an entry-way of a new place make me feel welcome, and if you have a green thumb (mine is decidedly black, so this doesn't work for me), get a hearty plant that you can tend to. That nurturing bit always helps the "home feel."

lindylady · Aug 5, 2010

I know how you feel, Miss Neecerie. When I got married last year, my husband and I moved to Lawton, Oklahoma for the military. It was, and still is, a tough adjustment. It's a semi-rural community that is one hundred miles away from the closest metropolitan area. There is very little to do here for recreation and the culture is vastly different from what I'm used to experiencing on the east coast. On top of that, the climate is unbearably hot in the summer.

As some of the ladies mentioned, it takes time to settle in. Possibly, years instead of months. Be patient with yourself as you gradually become acclimated to the people, climate, architecture, etc. Learn new hobbies/interests that you can do in your new area, but make sure you keep your existing interests. I'm still learning to do this. I try to maintain my love of dance by taking lessons here, even if it means learning something I wouldn't have considered in the past (i.e. country line dancing, western swing). Also, sometimes what seems like a curse can turn out to be a blessing. With all of the extra time I have out here, I've fulfilled a lifelong dream of writing a novel.

Hope this helps.

olive bleu · Aug 5, 2010

i cook. I never feel like a place is really mine till i have christened the stove with some home cookin'. Or when i pull a sheet of cookies out of the oven..it feels like my home has just given me a gift. Yes, i know i did all the work..but to me it just makes it official..I'm home.

Puzzicato · Aug 6, 2010

Marla said:
I've moved four times in my short life,

lol I think that is really sweet - my family had moved 4 times before I was 5!

Amy Jeanne · Aug 6, 2010

I'm not a big movie fan -- I even have difficulty paying attention to movies I LIKE, let alone a movie I have no interest in seeing (ROCKY!) lol

But as for moving, I second the cooking and baking and getting your "smell" in the place. I remember when I moved to Philly our place had this SMELL to it and it kinda depressed me. I tried everything from sprays to candles to plug-ins....the only way to get rid of it is to cook, bake, and groom yourself!!

Miss Neecerie · Aug 6, 2010

Well....it was all going so well for a minute there...

I got home..took some of your fine advice and started tidying things up...hanging the clothes i could etc....

and was feeling grand about life....right up until the moment the giant palmetto bug stood in the middle of my kitchen staring at me.

I am well aquainted with such things, having cohabitated with them in the Amazon and my mothers house in CA gets one or two a season....but honestly...I really didn't need to feel totally freaked out about a new place (when I am less then sure about it anyhow) and so forth...

I triumphed via chemicals...but it prompted a huge crying fit and lack of sleep after that.

and needless to say that it did not improve my morale any.....

Foofoogal · Aug 6, 2010

I feel for you. I really do. I moved every two years as a kid just about and I always knew I had to make friends fast as we would be moving again.

I don't really know what it is or why it is so hard this time. I would not really want to go back where I was but at same time I honestly think with the economy and such people are more on edge or less welcoming.
I have several friends that tell me Texas is the friendliest place in the USA so maybe I am so used to that.
I also discovered as we had traveled a bunch right before we moved I got in this mode of it is time to go home now.
After the move I loved it but of course it got to the stage of it is time to go home now and there was no going back. So I resisted putting down any roots so to speak as I was resisting it.
As a baby boomer most people our age have established longtime friends and such and do not move. We have longtime friends but not here.
It has many pros though to be where we are now. I am trying to keep those in mind and also remember there are many people in many worse situations. I think of people laid up in hospitals for instance etc. Slowly I am making acquaintances so have to be accepting of the fact that is good for this stage for now and hopefully they will become great lifetime friends. I have longtime friends all over the USA it seems. We chat on the phone a lot. People do have the out of sight out of mind thing though and everyone is busy. Social networks have helped in staying in touch at least.

Stress can be not good. Make sure you get your thyroid checked. When I first was diagnosed with Graves I cried like a faucet for weeks before I found out.
Guess I just wanted to post in response to your thread to let you know you are not the only one.
Hang in there.

Puzzicato · Aug 6, 2010

I don't know what a palmetto bug is but I don't like the sound of it! I am glad you triumphed, but I am not a bit surprised it undermined you. I hope you have a really lovely weekend and see good things in your new environment.

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