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Are Classy Restaurants Lowering Dress Code Standards in Your Area?

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535
Location
The ruins of the golden era.
60Years2Late said:
Ya know, I was reading all of thoses posts, and a couple of them really made me wonder. Here we are in a forum that hails dressing up as the coolest thing since ice cubes, and I see some people that say that classy is defined by jeans.

Jeans have never been, since their inception and even now a "classy" thing. Regardless of how much you get paid, jeans are considered your beater clothes, your work clothes. Jeans can be dirty, torn, or frayed, and they're still jeans. In the Marine Corps, when we go do security, or go out as a unit, or do anything that involves us going anywhere except base, we generally are not permitted to wear jeans. We have to wear khakis and a polo, or a nice collared shirt. If the shirt has tails or is excessively large, it must be tucked in. A belt is required on any pants that have beltloops, with a conservative buckle. THAT is not classy. That is acceptable.
Classy implies that you have class. Remember, clothes make the man. It is your first impression that counts. Regardless of what YOU think of yourself, and no matter what today's society tells you to the contrary, remember that worrying about what people see you as is not focusing on them; it's respecting yourself. You care enough about yourself to make sure nobody grades you as a low-life bum.

Where I was raised, in the South, in the country at that, I had to live by a very conservative set of rules. You see, the biggest adjustment for me in coming to California was not prices, people being rude, the dry air, or the lack of trees. It was the fact that kids didn't respect their elders. If you haven't got respect for your parents, you don't feel proud of your family name, and to me, that is HUGE. When I dress up, or go in public, or interact with people, I think of my parents. Everything I do reflects not only on myself, but on them. Did they raise me right? Am I a good person? Did they teach me manners? If I mess up, it's not just me that messed up, it's them too! People don't think about that these days. If you don't dress up because it's accepted and it's convenient to dress tacky, then remember this. You represent more than just you. Sure, you may be happy with it. Heck, I LOVE to walk around naked, but that doesn't mean I'm going out in public that way. You reflect on your raising, your employer, your friends, and your region. Wrong or right, people think about you in a stereotypical way, and the group everyone you know as being like you. That's just life. It might not be ethical, and it might be wrong, but a phrase that will do you well in life is this, and allow me to embolden and italicize it, so that you will all remember it for the rest of your days.

PERCEPTION IS REALITY

What people see is what people think, and if you're okay with letting them think you're a bum, though you have high enough self confidence not to let it bother you, you also have a very serious lack of personal pride.

Say what you want to the contrary, but that's the truth, no way around it. You know it, I know it, and everybody else knows it. And even if you don't know it, refer to what I stated above. Perception's reality. I perceive that to be true, so in my eyes, you've got no sense of pride or honor, and your poor image reflects poorly on your raising. That's reality. Sorry, but welcome to life.

Sometimes you gotta grow up and think about things from a point of view other than your own. That's what they mean when they say respect to others. Not to those around you, but to those you represent.

OH! And an elaboration on this:
It is not pretentious to enforce a dress code. The dress code is one of the things advertised. Their other patrons paid to eat in such an environment. It is not only their right as an establishment, but their DUTY to their patrons (the ones who followed the rules) to hold you to the same standard. THey follow it, the other patrons follow it. You should to. Don't take it personal. And if you do, tough. That's the way the world works.


First of all, Great post.

Just some points I'd like to throw in and I apologize for not elaborating on these topics but it's been a hard day.

American culture seems completely youth orientated.
.
Living in an age of pretty much what I call a second "Gilded Age". American decadence is at its height people spend indiscriminately without any thought of frugality or savings.
American morality is pretty much do whatever you want it is going to work itself out. the whole me first who cares about you philosophy.
Nobody really respects anything anymore.

yeah, the above points are pretty sweeping and their is little analysis but let's be honest take them altogether and why people don't dress up makes sense.

Why would I dress up when I don't have to. Its easy to look like a bum, its hard to dress up and especially when dressing up draws attention to yourself. In a time when everyone loves diversity, people really don't like to go outside their clique. meaning everyone was wearing hoodies and flip-flops no one would pipe up and say, hey guys maybe we should dress up. its a hard decision and why bother. just go the easy route.
 

Red Diabla

One of the Regulars
Messages
178
Location
Lost Strangeles
I think the "classy restaurant" topic has a direct parallel with a thread about "loss of occassion" discussing how people no longer dress appropriately for a wedding, funeral, graduation etc.

Seems the same goes for eating out. The grand occassion of eating out is less of a big deal these days. We all know we can get food basically just as good at lower prices in many family or chain restautrants than in a classy place.

While many of us think it's cool to spend a bit more for atmosphere a lot of people figure their money is good anywhere and if they're going to spend more for food then they'll dress like they want. I'm imagining there is some undercurrent of silent, perceived entitlement at work here.

I'm glad this topic got resurrected!

In October, my husband and I agreed to not eat out at restaurants or order delivery food for the month. This isn't as big a deal for me as it is for my husband, because I'm used to taking my lunch to work and can forage for myself with whatever food is in the house. My husband had a bigger adjustment to this idea! Not only did we end up eating better because we made all our food ourselves, but when the month was over, we found that we didn't automatically go back to ordering delivery food nearly as often as we were. On top of that, going out to eat is now an "occasion" again, and yes, we do dress to reflect that!

On a similar note, we try to stay away from major chain restaurants, which adds to the "occasion" factor. Since we're in a large metropolitan area, we're benefiting from all the "foodies" opening local establishments that serve great food! Win-win for everyone!

RD
 

Tomasso

Incurably Addicted
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13,719
Location
USA
There was an article in the NYT the other day saying that a recent trend has New Yorkers dressing up in much greater numbers when going out on the town, especially the younger folks. That's good news.
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
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30,767
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
Since the last time this question came up, we've had several new restaurants open in town, all of them oriented to a hipster clientele, so the only people I see going in wearing ties are doing so ironically.

I never eat in restaurants that don't have a counter, so it doesn't matter to me one way or the other.
 
Messages
10,195
Location
Pasadena, CA
There was an article in the NYT the other day saying that a recent trend has New Yorkers dressing up in much greater numbers when going out on the town, especially the younger folks. That's good news.

While my son and his friends often are very casual, I've noticed that they are getting dressed up more often now and I like it. I've even taken my son clothes shopping because it makes me happy to see them look nice.
I was surprised to see the other night that I was under-dressed for a visit to the "iPic" theatres. I was a decent casual, but lots of folks were looking pretty sharp.
 

Guttersnipe

One Too Many
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1,942
Location
San Francisco, CA
To me, dress codes are all about establishing ambiance and environment rather than denoting the "fanciness" or "goodness" of a restaurant. In S.F. (and everywhere, really), there are lots of so-called nouveau restaurants that serve fantastic gourmet meals (read: very pricey, a/k/a "fancy") and are very casual at the same time. To me, that's not a detractor at all; it's actually part of the ambiance of that particular place. By the same token, though, I appreciate it when so-called old line restaurants have a dress code, as it adds to the sense of occasion. There is something wonderful about eating a great meal surrounded by wood panels and other dinners *also* dressed for the occasion.
 
To me, dress codes are all about establishing ambiance and environment rather than denoting the "fanciness" or "goodness" of a restaurant. In S.F. (and everywhere, really), there are lots of so-called nouveau restaurants that serve fantastic gourmet meals (read: very pricey, a/k/a "fancy") and are very casual at the same time. To me, that's not a detractor at all; it's actually part of the ambiance of that particular place. By the same token, though, I appreciate it when so-called old line restaurants have a dress code, as it adds to the sense of occasion. There is something wonderful about eating a great meal surrounded by wood panels and other dinners *also* dressed for the occasion.

I get what you're saying, but nothing ruins the ambiance of a nice meal faster than some yahoo in flip flops, wearing his hat at the next table.
 

Guttersnipe

One Too Many
Messages
1,942
Location
San Francisco, CA
I get what you're saying, but nothing ruins the ambiance of a nice meal faster than some yahoo in flip flops, wearing his hat at the next table.

I definitely get what you're saying too, but then it also depends on what your personal definition of a "nice" meal is and what kind of ambiance you're looking for or enjoy.

For example, two restaurants in S.F. I like are Boulevard and Sons & Daughters. Both are Michelin Star restaurants, but they have pretty relaxed dress codes. (basically, no open toe shoes or shorts). I've never found the lack of coats and ties detrimental to my dinning experience at those two places . . .

.. . On the other hand, all the tourists in shorts and "San Francisco" sweatshirts who inevitably wander into John's Grill bug the Hell out of me. It must be all that dark oak paneling!
 

babygirl...

One of the Regulars
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132
Location
Heaven
I like dressing comfortable at all times and most of those times don't include high heals, however I will wear them and a dress but only for those really special occasions.. just not very often,,:)
 
I definitely get what you're saying too, but then it also depends on what your personal definition of a "nice" meal is and what kind of ambiance you're looking for or enjoy.


I'm talking about nice restaurants, reservations required, coat and tie "suggested", yet there's a table of obnoxious loudmouths, who haven't shaved in four days, wearing shorts, a shirt that's two sizes too small, flip flops, and a filthy, torn baseball cap backwards. All who think they're simply dressing casual.
 

babygirl...

One of the Regulars
Messages
132
Location
Heaven
Correct me if I'm wrong but the richest and most powerful man on earth had long hair and a beard..I try not to judge when it comes to that kinda of thing,, ya know? just makes me sleep better at night knowing that if I have to eat my last supper in my pajamas I would still feel welcome :)
 
Correct me if I'm wrong but the richest and most powerful man on earth had long hair and a beard..I try not to judge when it comes to that kinda of thing,, ya know? just makes me sleep better at night knowing that if I have to eat my last supper in my pajamas I would still feel welcome :)


I'm glad you find comfort in your religion. That doesn't mitigate these yahoos from ruining the ambiance of my dining experience.
 

Sharpsburg

One of the Regulars
Messages
240
Location
Maryland
Babygirl - How do you "know" HE had long hair and a beard? I don't believe we have any reliable photographic evidence of what "HE" looked like. However, I feel confident that he would dress according to the location, situation and social setting appropriate at the time. I don't favor the toga look myself, but i'm sure he was comfortable.
 

babygirl...

One of the Regulars
Messages
132
Location
Heaven
I am more comfortable knowing where I belong in this world not a "religion" ...

Sharpie,LOL! yes,yes you are correct on that, I can't be sure what you are referring to as "he" is wearing but I also made a point that I will dress according to the occasion if I am aware of it at the time..
 

Red Diabla

One of the Regulars
Messages
178
Location
Lost Strangeles
I'm talking about nice restaurants, reservations required, coat and tie "suggested", yet there's a table of obnoxious loudmouths, who haven't shaved in four days, wearing shorts, a shirt that's two sizes too small, flip flops, and a filthy, torn baseball cap backwards. All who think they're simply dressing casual.

Funny thing, I was talking to a friend last night who loves Disneyland, and once was able to get into their exclusive restaurant, Club 33. She said basically that one would expect everyone to be dressed to the nines, but nope, they were in shorts and flip flops! These people obviously have money and connections, because again, one can't just waltz in; one needs reservations and be willing to pay top-dollar for the apparently excellent food. But they were apparently dressed as if they were regular Disneyland tourists! That saddened me a bit, since I expected a fancy place (albeit in an amusement park) with a stellar reputation food-wise would have a dress code to go with the food!

RD
 

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