This, just in: A shopping bag was discovered outside a downtown restaurant. Upon investigation, the bag was found to contain seven pounds of bologna. An eyewitness was heard to have said, "that's a lot of baloney." We're sending a crew to the scene. Wait for updates. A fire, a fire, A house is on fire. We don’t know any details, We have a crew on the way. We’ll let you know when we have more information. A man was shot, And found in the street. We don’t know his name, We’re investigating. We’ll keep you updated. A body was found in the river. We do not yet have an identity. An autopsy will be performed. More later. This is the spot where it all happened. Here is where police found a shell casing. You can see the chalk outline. We don’t have any further information. Watch at 6 for updates. Tonight, a candle light vigil is planned. More at eleven. Swat teams surrounded the house. Police searched, but no one was found. Police are investigating. Action 4 will stay on top of this story. An unmanned garbage truck rolled down this hill, crushing this garbage can. We’re sending our investigators to the company To find out why this happened. We’ll keep you informed when we find out more. A suspicious package was found in the park. Nearby schools were locked down. The bomb squad determined it was a dirty diaper. We’re sending a crew to investigate. Pictures at six. Police arrested a man on suspicion. The man, described as an older gentleman, later escaped. It is unknown how he escaped, but he did. The man was wearing a shirt, pants, and two shoes, one of the shoelaces was untied. If you see, or have seen anyone fitting this description, please contact your local authorities. This just in. We have just been informed that the elderly man have changed his appearance by tying the previously untied shoe. He may be at large, or he may be hiding out Proceed with caution if you see him, or anyone that fits this description. He may be dangerous, but police have no evidence that he is. This is a Channel 4 Catastrophic Weather Team Emergency Notification. We interrupt regular broadcasting for this immediate notification to the possibility of a severe situation that may be developing in our immediate surrounding area. A dark cloud was reported to be seen north of the city. We go now to our chief meteorologist, Tony Tornado on the roof top of channel 4 broadcast studios. Tony. Hi, this is Tony Tornado, Chief Meteorologist of Channel 4 and Captain of the Channel 4 Catastrophic Weather Team. Our state-of-the-art, Doppler 29000 infrared laser radar scanner and lightening monitor has indicated the existence of a dark cloud, just north of the city. By all indications, it is moving towards the city at 39.773 miles per hour, and should be directly over the city center in approximately 1 hour, 13 minutes, 44 seconds, and 13 nanoseconds. We will keep you updated on it’s progress. We recommend that you immediately seek shelter in the lowest level of your home, under the stairs, preferably in the north west corner of your basement. If you are caught outside when you see this cloud, hide in the back seat of your car, under a blanket. We will continue to monitor the progress of this cloud, and if something dramatically changes, or, if our ratings need to be increased, we will interrupt regular programming, in order to keep you constantly informed. Remember, you heard it first, live, right here on Channel 4. First in news, first in weather, whether or not it is actually weather, and first with needless updates to non-stories that we think you need to know. The local savings and loan was robbed today at gunpoint. One of the robbers had a note that was handed to the teller. We do not know what the note contained, but a bank official said he had seen writing on the note, and the letters were all in red and blue ink. Police officials offered a comment that this robbery may be connected to recent other robberies where a note, written in different colored ink was passed to bank tellers. Bank officials were not able to adequately determine how much, if any money was actually taken. But, the amount may be substantial. A teller's drawer was found to be empty. The FBI has been called. When we contacted the FBI for information, we were told it may be a matter of national security, and refused further comment. Our team has uncovered an eye witness who said the robbers were dressed like politicians. One was in a jackass suit and the other was disguised as an elephant. If you see anyone answering this description, first take a picture on your phone, and post it on Facebook, then send it to our news channel, and we will post it on Twitter, add a hashtag, and twit it to the proper authorities. Be sure to "like" us on Facebook.