Deciphering estate auction ads and terms

Discussion in 'The Observation Bar' started by PrettySquareGal, Jun 23, 2006.

  1. PrettySquareGal

    PrettySquareGal I'll Lock Up

    New England
    We've read the articles on deciphering job and real estate ads. For example, we all know that "cute" can mean cramped and small, or "handyman's dream" can be "condemned."

    I've been around the auction block, and would like to share some of my own observations about how some terms have been abused:

    Vintage country smalls- Yesterday's gifts no one wants today, like tacky baubles and doodads, and I mean yesterday.

    Vintage costume jewelry- Mardi Grass beads from 1997.

    Vintage linens- Used diapers, stained hotel sheets.

    Important auction- Important to the auctioneers.

    Dusty attic items- Items in boxes with rat poop, spiders and other horrors.

    Do you have any advice or experiences with shifty auction ads?
  2. scotrace

    scotrace Head Bartender Staff Member

    Small Town Ohio, USA
    Just needs a little mechanical adjustment = plan on spending a fortune in parts.

    The family tells me this belonged to Daniel Boone = The family is on crack.

    I've never seen one of these before = the auctioneer is on crack.
  3. Braxton36

    Braxton36 One of the Regulars

    Deep South, USA
    "Nice original condition" - it looks like hell

    "We haven't been through these boxes; who knows what treasures you'll find!" - uh huh, right

    "This isn't signed but it looks just like a xxx" - but you know perfectly well it isn't

    "OK, dealers out there, wake up!" - I know you all aren't seriously interested in this but maybe that cattle call will generate some interest from the novices
  4. LizzieMaine

    LizzieMaine Bartender

    "Rare" -- Dirt common, but *we've* never seen it before.

    "Untouched" -- Clean it yourself.

    "Barn Fresh" -- Smells like horse poop.
  5. Pilgrim

    Pilgrim One Too Many

    Fort Collins, CO
    Vintage = completely trashed and useless, but maybe we'll find a sucker
  6. "Vintage clothing" ... 95% of which are knit dacron polyester leisure suits with missing buttons, a funny smell, and mold.

  7. Absinthe_1900

    Absinthe_1900 One Too Many

    The Heights in Houston TX
    "Art Deco Radio" or "Antique Radio" or "Vintage Radio" = Any radio older than a 80's "Boom box"

    "Art Deco Radio" also = any "old" table top radio
  8. Miss_Bella_Hell

    Miss_Bella_Hell My Mail is Forwarded Here

    Los Angeles, CA
    "Bakelite??" "Untested Bakelite" "French Bakelite - doesn't test like normal Bakelite" = This ain't bakelite, it's just plastic. Spend $150 on it please.
  9. And yet ... I've found some amazing things at estate sales. Not auctions, though.


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