Deciphering estate auction ads and terms

[PrettySquareGal]

We've read the articles on deciphering job and real estate ads. For example, we all know that "cute" can mean cramped and small, or "handyman's dream" can be "condemned."

I've been around the auction block, and would like to share some of my own observations about how some terms have been abused:

Vintage country smalls- Yesterday's gifts no one wants today, like tacky baubles and doodads, and I mean yesterday.

Vintage costume jewelry- Mardi Grass beads from 1997.

Vintage linens- Used diapers, stained hotel sheets.

Important auction- Important to the auctioneers.

Dusty attic items- Items in boxes with rat poop, spiders and other horrors.

Do you have any advice or experiences with shifty auction ads?

 

[scotrace]

Just needs a little mechanical adjustment = plan on spending a fortune in parts.

The family tells me this belonged to Daniel Boone = The family is on crack.

I've never seen one of these before = the auctioneer is on crack.

 

[Braxton36]

"Nice original condition" - it looks like hell

"We haven't been through these boxes; who knows what treasures you'll find!" - uh huh, right

"This isn't signed but it looks just like a xxx" - but you know perfectly well it isn't

"OK, dealers out there, wake up!" - I know you all aren't seriously interested in this but maybe that cattle call will generate some interest from the novices

 

[LizzieMaine]

"Rare" -- Dirt common, but *we've* never seen it before.

"Untouched" -- Clean it yourself.

"Barn Fresh" -- Smells like horse poop.

 

[Pilgrim]

Vintage = completely trashed and useless, but maybe we'll find a sucker

 

[Marc Chevalier]

"Vintage clothing" ... 95% of which are knit dacron polyester leisure suits with missing buttons, a funny smell, and mold.

.

 

[Absinthe_1900]

"Art Deco Radio" or "Antique Radio" or "Vintage Radio" = Any radio older than a 80's "Boom box"

"Art Deco Radio" also = any "old" table top radio

 

[Miss_Bella_Hell]

"Bakelite??" "Untested Bakelite" "French Bakelite - doesn't test like normal Bakelite" = This ain't bakelite, it's just plastic. Spend $150 on it please.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

And yet ... I've found some amazing things at estate sales. Not auctions, though.

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