Does vintage clothing attract a rude/violent response?

[Rats Riley]

Don't pay the Barbies any mind C-dot. I'll bet you looked like a million bucks!

 

[tnmc]

A couple of weeks ago on a rainy Saturday morning I was sat on a platform in Dusseldorf Hauptbahnhof waiting for my train to Cologne. I was wearing a blue linen jacket with a navy and white polka-dot pocket square with blue jeans and deck shoes and a panama hat...nothing particularly over the top I think you'll agree. As the train on the opposite platform departed, some guy on it felt it necessary to give me the finger.

Doesn't rise the level of abuse some have mentioned here, but when you do dress "up", you do call attention to yourself in our modern culture and if you're not careful, you could end up in a pickle.

 

[C-dot]

Don't pay the Barbies any mind C-dot. I'll bet you looked like a million bucks!

I thought so Thanks dear!

A couple of weeks ago on a rainy Saturday morning I was sat on a platform in Dusseldorf Hauptbahnhof waiting for my train to Cologne. I was wearing a blue linen jacket with a navy and white polka-dot pocket square with blue jeans and deck shoes and a panama hat...nothing particularly over the top I think you'll agree. As the train on the opposite platform departed, some guy on it felt it necessary to give me the finger.

You know what I think it is? Someone who is different, or calls attention to themselves (though inadvertently) becomes something like public property. Therefore, its okay to give them the finger, bump them on the shoulder, swear at them, and the like. I used to have problems with people touching me when I worked at Fossil (they usually wanted to see if my hair or stocking seams were real.)

The theory that men who care for their appearance are seen by the modern man as "gay" is making so much sense to me when I read stories like this, since people who are known to be homosexual often face the same treatment, even to this day. I think its awful.

PS. Your outfit sounds great to me

 

[Rats Riley]

He actually gave you the finger? I think that's one of the most pathetic examples I've ever heard. It's almost funny how sad that is, that some loser would go out of his way just to physically react to you. Talk about being stuck in Summer School. In other words, "No Class"!

And Miss C-Dot... folks would actually touch you in public?! Gezz-us!

OK from a professional point of view and just so everyone knows, NO ONE is allowed to touch you without your consent. If they do so, they can be charged with disorderly conduct or possibly assault, depending upon the degree.

Of coarse they love to talk trash when they out number you. The nerve of some people just boils my blood.

 

[Edward]

What's an ocean and a few years? I love me a man with taste!

Well, in that case be sure to look me up if you make it over to London at all.

I understand the association that you're pointing out, Edward, the idea that some people have about it being somehow "gay" for a man to care for his appearance. However, do you believe that if a heterosexual man does not wish to be taken for a homosexual man, that he is then automatically "homophobic" in nature? Admittedly, he could be, but do you think that such a desire automatically makes him so?

Not necessarily, no. For example, I can imagine that in the situation where one is trying to attract a lady, it would be somewhat counter-productive for her to assume one to be gay. Course, if someone is going to make that sort of assumption purely because a guy makes an effort, I wouldn't personally place much stock in their opinion, but that's another matter.

 

[rue]

I just moved to a new state 2 months ago. It"s rather hot here and most of the girls here wear skanky shorts and tank tops. So, I usually get laughed at or get weird looks. It's rather sad considering most people go for the rockabilly look here. And would think they would be the ones to understand. But it seems like everyone has become so snobby...and for what?

I was just in that area and people would snicker as I walked by (especially at the mall that I was forced to go to ). I was already feeling odd, because my mom was giving me a hard time about the way I looked, but then to have women actually laugh where she could see them was really awful. Vegas was the same way surprisingly. The only time I didn't get odd looks was when I went in to the Bettie Page store and then it was all compliments. Oddly enough, no one pays much attention to me here in my small town. [huh]

 

[Travis Lee Johnston]

Huge rockabilly scene here = horrible bands. A lot of guys who try to look like Mike Ness and girls with no style who scowl at other girls.

Scottsdale has a rep for being a breeding ground for money bandit women/trophy wives, and trust fund babies. It's waaay different than other branch cities of Phoenix. That probably has a little to do with the reactions you ladies are getting.

 

[MikeBravo]

I understand the association that you're pointing out, Edward, the idea that some people have about it being somehow "gay" for a man to care for his appearance. However, do you believe that if a heterosexual man does not wish to be taken for a homosexual man, that he is then automatically "homophobic" in nature? Admittedly, he could be, but do you think that such a desire automatically makes him so?

It's probably more to do with a desire to not get your head kicked in.

 

[sheeplady]

I understand what you mean. I went to the beach yesterday in my Esther Williams swimsuit and big sunhat, so I got some dirty looks from the bikini-clad girls.

I never really understood the dirty look. I get the dirty look from women on a semi-regular basis. It is always from women, especially younger women (I've never gotten it from a middle age or older looking lady).

I've always wanted to ask them: So, you don't like the way I look so you look at me like you ate a bad peach? Obviously, if you think you are hot stuff, why do you care what I am wearing if you think it's ugly? Don't I make you look better in your mind? Or are you threatened by the way I look?

I find when I get the dirty look to be funny, so I often laugh. I'd prefer the dirty look to the laughing and pointing at me.

 

[W-D Forties]

At my son's school some of the parents have openly laughed at my husband for his sense of dress and handlebar moustache. Serves him right for not dressing like an obese toddler on a daily basis like the other dads I guess.

I get very weird looks, but so far so-one has had the bottle to say anything to my face. That's wise, as whilst I'm a middle class teacher now, scratch the surface and the rabid scouser comes out. Don't get me angry... you wouldn't like me when I'm angry...

 

[C-dot]

Or are you threatened by the way I look?

I choose to believe this is the reason behind the dirty look. Personally, I don't fall prey to envy unless the other person has what I am lacking (doesn't happen often, thank goodness.)

 

[Isis]

You know what I think it is? Someone who is different, or calls attention to themselves (though inadvertently) becomes something like public property. Therefore, its okay to give them the finger, bump them on the shoulder, swear at them, and the like. I used to have problems with people touching me when I worked at Fossil (they usually wanted to see if my hair or stocking seams were real.)

Or grab their breasts. That has happened to me.

 

[MisterCairo]

Or grab their breasts. That has happened to me.

:eeek::eeek::eeek:

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I notice this all the time. I see it happen to people, let me touch your shirt, let me feel this, or that. It drives me nuts. I'm one of those people who has a 'bubble' stay out of it. People always want to touch my hair. They figure it's hair gel and my hair is 'hard as a rock'. I hate people always wanting to touch my hair lol

You know what I think it is? Someone who is different, or calls attention to themselves (though inadvertently) becomes something like public property. Therefore, its okay to give them the finger, bump them on the shoulder, swear at them, and the like. I used to have problems with people touching me when I worked at Fossil (they usually wanted to see if my hair or stocking seams were real.)

M'waukee has always had a good vintage influence. I am from there, as is 4 generations before me. My dad was a greaser in the 70's, as were many guys, when most think 50's when they hear greaser.

It’s funny. I remember as a kid I dressed “retro” or “vintage” out of necessity more than choice. Bottom line is that we were poor. And coming from a single parent household, I received three nice pairs of pants (Two for dress, one pair of jeans) and three shirts every school year. So at a young age I learned how to wash and iron my clothes. If I didn’t take care of my clothes and looked shabby, it was on me. If I got pants, they were usually too big, needed a belt and were usually cuffed. While other kids spent their money on toys, I usually spent it on clothes at what was referred to as “The Polish Department Store” AKA: Goodwill! Because in many ways that’s all the folks in our neighborhood could afford. Then we would be embarrassed and surprised when we ran across neighbors also trying to stretch a buck. Don’t get me started on hand me downs! Oh man! That was better then Christmas! But even when I got older and made my own money, I always seemed to gravitate toward the basic necessities. Cuffed jeans, t-shirt, an old suit vest or blazer, leather jacket. Surprisingly in the early 90’s these became popular. I swear I remember at a party when I met a young lady who said, “Oh my God! You look just like Brandon from 90210!” Hell I didn’t know what that was, I just got back from the service and in spite grew my hair back like before I left. As far as I knew, everyone at the time was trying to be Vanilla Ice. I had no idea what the hell 90210 was, I was just happy to be home and have a young lady interested. Turns out there was a TV show with two yahoos (yeah you remember them) who were making popular a look that for years was scoffed at… Go figure! Of coarse, growing up in Milwaukee, a retro look wasn’t too far of a stretch! There were tons of car clubs and regular Joes who still dressed the same as grandpa did. But it’s funny… what began as a necessity, eventually became something of a badge of honor. So when the Barbies and Kens of today give you a hassle because your lid, skirt or suit doesn’t mesh with today’s “it look”; just remember that anyone can be a clone. Your going the extra distance to do you own thing! It’s who we are, so why be ashamed!

BTW: my last day in my first high school, I intentionally wore my pants inside out, just so I could pick a scrape with the first jag who talked trash…. No one said a word.

 

[C-dot]

Or grab their breasts. That has happened to me.

OT: I hope you rearranged his face!

That's exactly the kind of horrible reaction we're talking about...

 

[sheeplady]

Forcible touching (by which I am refering to grabbing a stranger in a sexual way) catches the victim off guard and is often very quick. Most victims don't have the time to process what happened and respond. It's very unexpected in a public situation to be sexually grabbed by a stranger. Or if it happens in a situation where you'd never expect it- in a work meeting or in the classroom- it is also unexpected. You are just left standing there.

On the more positive side of things, I've experienced and seen other people stepping in and saying things to and/or removing these criminals. I have no problem walking up to a person I see grab another and saying "get away from them" and calling the cops. They'll be really thankful if you step in or ask if they are ok, even if they are too out of it to thank you at that moment.

 

[Isis]

Forcible touching (by which I am refering to grabbing a stranger in a sexual way) catches the victim off guard and is often very quick. Most victims don't have the time to process what happened and respond. It's very unexpected in a public situation to be sexually grabbed by a stranger. Or if it happens in a situation where you'd never expect it- in a work meeting or in the classroom- it is also unexpected. You are just left standing there.

Exactly. It was totally out of the blue and left me so shocked I just left. After I got angry, but that was later. You really don't expect that to happen to you.

It's funny, I have never met a woman (or a man) who enjoys being groped by strangers, but a lot of men who thinks one should get flattered if it happens to you. Flattered because someone doesn't have a clue about how you interact with other people? I don't think so.

 

[C-dot]

Or if it happens in a situation where you'd never expect it- in a work meeting or in the classroom- it is also unexpected. You are just left standing there.

This is true! I once had a customer attack me while working as a cashier, and I was too stunned to think. However, my reflexes have improved since then with all the purse snatchers I've come across lol

 

[Miss sofia]

I agree with C-dot, i used to work in a gelateria in italy years ago, and a few guys thought it was acceptable to grope me when i was serving them. It was so shocking and i felt really violated. (Until i learned superior swiping skills and the 'ooops did i just tip that boiling hot espresso all over you' manoeuvre. It still rankles.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

That's something I've never understood. I mean I've seen people dressed vintage or in other forms of attire that stands out in a crowd, yet I've never felt the need to personally examine their clothes or hair. Strange! But then again, I'm not a "touchy feely" kind of guy in the first place because I associate touching as something reserved only for those of whom I feel a close or special bond. Heck, I often feel uncomfortable shaking hands with people.

I agree with C-dot, i used to work in a gelateria in italy years ago, and a few guys thought it was acceptable to grope me when i was serving them. It was so shocking and i felt really violated. (Until i learned superior swiping skills and the 'ooops did i just tip that boiling hot espresso all over you' manoeuvre. It still rankles.

I'm sure it made you feel like grabbing the offender by the wrist and loudly saying: Did anyone lose a hand just now?