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So trivial, yet it really ticks you off.

Messages
13,248
Location
Orange County, CA
In May of 2020 a shirttail relative who had been in failing health for a number of years found himself in desperate straits when the woman with whom he resided, and on whom he relied for the business of daily living, up and died on him.

So we (another relative and an old friend and I) scrambled to get him here, to my “new” place, some 1,400 miles or so away. The friend loaded up the relative’s stuff in his truck and drove him and his cat here, where he lived until February of 2021, when his condition deteriorated to the point that he required more care than I could provide.

The relative died in a nursing facility in May of this year. The overwhelming majority of the stuff that arrived in that truck 24 months prior, the overwhelming majority of which didn’t see any use whatsoever over that timespan, has been finding its way to the Arc thrift store donation station.

I suppose that some level of mortality denial, or if not denial than at least the disregard of the death that awaits us all, might be all but necessary to a happy life.

I suspect what motivated that late relative to hold onto his swag was in large part an attempt to hold onto life itself. I understand it. He had suffered much loss — the slow but steady diminishment of his physical and mental capabilities, the death of his woman friend, and more.

It’s not unlike the Tom Hanks character’s attachment to Wilson the volleyball in the film “Castaway.” When a person is left with so little, he invests much in what little he still has.

I still have the cat.

Even though it appears that your relative wasn't married it seems to follow a pattern I've seen with many married couples where if the wife passes first the husband follows shortly after regardless of age or health. It happened with a friend of mine.

When he lost his wife to breast cancer he appeared to be in pretty good health for his age -- he even had plans to fix up his house, sell it and move to a smaller place. But instead he deteriorated rapidly from that time on and himself passed away eighteen months later. I remember at one point I didn't see or hear from him for about a month and then found out that he had been in the hospital for ten days.

Also my own parents died within ten months of each other. Guess who went first.
 

Who?

A-List Customer
Messages
438
Location
Vernon, CT
But then, as I mentioned earlier in this thread, many books are much longer than they need to be. The information might be better imparted in a much shorter form.
Who was is who once famously said of a meeting, or conference, or some such “It was over shortly after it began, but it went for some time after that.” or words to that effect?
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
8,562
Location
New Forest
Who was is who once famously said of a meeting, or conference, or some such “It was over shortly after it began, but it went for some time after that.” or words to that effect?
Chances are you are thinking of Rosa Parks who helped initiate the civil rights movement in the United States when she refused to give up her seat to a white man on a Montgomery, Alabama bus in 1955. Her actions inspired the leaders of the local Black community to organise the Montgomery Bus Boycott.

Led by a young Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., the boycott lasted more than a year, during which Parks not coincidentally lost her job and ended only when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that bus segregation was unconstitutional. Over the next half-century, Parks became a nationally recognised symbol of dignity and strength in the struggle to end entrenched racial segregation.
 

ChiTownScion

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,213
Location
The Great Pacific Northwest
Mounting the soapbox here, so, apologies.

Saw this at a recent daytime fraternal event. Members of the leadership, understandably, want to dress up in a manner befitting their office, but a relative few, despite good intentions, needed some instruction as to what to wear and what not to wear. They were wearing tuxedos jackets and one even was wearing a tailcoat.

No. No. NO!!

Evening wear is never to be worn for a daytime event.

And if you insist upon wearing a tailcoat, remember that it is worn ONLY with the other elements of the full formal ensemble: white pique shirt, white pique waistcoat, white pique tie, and pumps (formal shoes) only for footwear. And only if the dress code is explicitly "formal" or "white tie." And never before six PM. Ever. It's called, "evening wear" for a reason.

There is a standard for formal morning wear: cutaway coat, waistcoat, white dress shirt with cufflinks, striped trousers, cap toe oxford shoes and a long tie: a cravat only for a wedding party member, and never a bow tie. Top hat is optional: no cane. unless you are mobility impaired, but carrying an umbrella is allowed. But it's likely overkill. For a fraternal event like the one in question, a quality business suit is always a safe way to play it. Less really is more.

Sheldon Cooper on
The Big Bang Theory wore a tailcoat at his black-tie wedding ceremony. His armature was always wound a lot tighter than my own, or so I thought, so when I saw that I wanted to yell at him for that.
 
Messages
10,056
Location
My mother's basement
Mounting the soapbox here, so, apologies.

Saw this at a recent daytime fraternal event. Members of the leadership, understandably, want to dress up in a manner befitting their office, but a relative few, despite good intentions, needed some instruction as to what to wear and what not to wear. They were wearing tuxedos jackets and one even was wearing a tailcoat.

No. No. NO!!

Evening wear is never to be worn for a daytime event.

And if you insist upon wearing a tailcoat, remember that it is worn ONLY with the other elements of the full formal ensemble: white pique shirt, white pique waistcoat, white pique tie, and pumps (formal shoes) only for footwear. And only if the dress code is explicitly "formal" or "white tie." And never before six PM. Ever. It's called, "evening wear" for a reason.

There is a standard for formal morning wear: cutaway coat, waistcoat, white dress shirt with cufflinks, striped trousers, cap toe oxford shoes and a long tie: a cravat only for a wedding party member, and never a bow tie. Top hat is optional: no cane. unless you are mobility impaired, but carrying an umbrella is allowed. But it's likely overkill. For a fraternal event like the one in question, a quality business suit is always a safe way to play it. Less really is more.

Sheldon Cooper on
The Big Bang Theory wore a tailcoat at his black-tie wedding ceremony. His armature was always wound a lot tighter than my own, or so I thought, so when I saw that I wanted to yell at him for that.
These days, outside of circles such as this one, you may as well be elaborating on the better and worse stagecoach wheels.

At a funeral a few years back one of my relatives wore an ill-fitting black jacket with satin lapels, which I’m all but certain he found at a thrift shop in the days immediately preceding the event. So long as it was black and he could put it on, that was close enough.
 
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Turnip

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,766
Location
Europe
Raaaaalphyyyyy!

;)

Scheduled up to 40 (C) this week I would recommend to drink as much as possible though!

Looking forward to working overtime in my ACd office during the hottest days and leaving respectively earlier on my final day Thursday (of this last week working for my current employer)…:D
 

Ticklishchap

One Too Many
Messages
1,637
Location
London
Raaaaalphyyyyy!

;)

Scheduled up to 40 (C) this week I would recommend to drink as much as possible though!

Looking forward to working overtime in my ACd office during the hottest days and leaving respectively earlier on my final day Thursday (of this last week working for my current employer)…:D
Taking two days off (I’m self-employed) and will enjoy reading
and listening to music. And drinking (water of course).
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
31,534
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
As if I didn't have trouble enough, the other night lightning struck a big maple tree in the little rectangle I laughingly call my backyard, cracking the trunk in such a way that the next violent windstorm will send it crashing directly into the side of the house containing my bedroom. Having just taken out a second mortgage to get my roof replaced, I'm hoping there's enough of my new debtload left to remove this tree before I'm crushed to death in my sleep beneath its beneficient boughs. If I'm not heard from for a while, it may be that the rescue crews haven't reached me yet.
 
Messages
11,090
Location
Germany
As if I didn't have trouble enough, the other night lightning struck a big maple tree in the little rectangle I laughingly call my backyard, cracking the trunk in such a way that the next violent windstorm will send it crashing directly into the side of the house containing my bedroom. Having just taken out a second mortgage to get my roof replaced, I'm hoping there's enough of my new debtload left to remove this tree before I'm crushed to death in my sleep beneath its beneficient boughs. If I'm not heard from for a while, it may be that the rescue crews haven't reached me yet.

This is a thing, old Germany will have to deal with more and more, in the next years. As far as I'm remember, the unusal windy summers started here in 2015 and like this year with sometimes really stormy days. AND there are the more or less tropical thunderstroms, too!
Seems like mother nature is replacing old-fashioned 90s "rainy days" with (thunder)stormy days.
No wonder, many people in villages started to teeth-ganshingly remove their old trees, the last years.
 
Messages
10,056
Location
My mother's basement
As if I didn't have trouble enough, the other night lightning struck a big maple tree in the little rectangle I laughingly call my backyard, cracking the trunk in such a way that the next violent windstorm will send it crashing directly into the side of the house containing my bedroom. Having just taken out a second mortgage to get my roof replaced, I'm hoping there's enough of my new debtload left to remove this tree before I'm crushed to death in my sleep beneath its beneficient boughs. If I'm not heard from for a while, it may be that the rescue crews haven't reached me yet.
Life’s a struggle and then you die.
 

Tiki Tom

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,758
Location
Oahu, North Polynesia
Strange weather here too. Record south shore surf combined with high tides. If I were this bride and groom, I’d pause to consider if the powers that be were trying to send a message about the wedding.

 
Messages
10,056
Location
My mother's basement
It doesn’t tick off so much as amuse that RH (formerly Restoration Hardware) would go to the expense of sending me their 300-plus page, full color on slick paper contemporary furniture catalog.

It must be that certain of my behaviors and associations are typical of people unlike me in most other ways. RH got my name SOMEWHERE, but it certainly wasn’t from the country club’s mailing list.

I don’t know that I would buy any of that stuff even if I could afford it. The catalog seems aimed predominantly at decorators, who are spending their clients’ money. I can only hope that the world isn’t going anywhere near so beige as the RH contemporary catalog might have us believe.
 
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Messages
12,666
Location
Northern California
Sometimes I wish there were some mandatory additional charge for every email or phone call over some reasonable limit, a charge so minimal (some fraction of a cent per, say) as to be of no significance to anyone other than the spam producers. I delete, I block, I unsubscribe, I jump up and down on one leg, yet the unwelcome calls and texts and emails just keep coming. For every one I think I’ve killed two more arise to take its place.
I was complaining about this problem to Lady ToE yesterday. Some boneheads in the school district who have made up high paying jobs, like to sign us up to be targets for worthless email harassment. I beco more annoyed by the emails that have ”set up“ appointments for us to meet Via Zoom. It is as if we have had conversations and agreed to meet. They then follow up with “is this time still good for you?” type of questions. And then there is the we missed you so we will reschedule for later this week.

There are some harassers who I have been unsubscribing from for over a decade after an idiot decided to subscribe the whole staff up. They offer a service which has no benefit for us.
:D
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
8,562
Location
New Forest
Today I received two letters that got me annoyed. Both came from the utility companies, one from our landline supplier the other from our electricity company. They both begin: "Hello Robert," Hello Robert? What happened to the courtesy of: Dear Mr. Taylor? It seems more and more prevalent and not just in the mail.

It doesn't just tick me off as is the thread title, there's a much stronger way of describing my feelings towards those who try to come over all sweet and friendly, but it's not printable, I'm sure you are ahead of me though.
 

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