Clean Jokes

[Frunobulax]

I can't say I've ever understood that myself. American English is one of the greatest languages to have ever been stolen and misapplied in almost every way.

In the words of the philosopher, Bart Simpson, "I didn't think it was possible, but this both sucks and blows!"

 

[Turnip]

 

[Zombie_61]

^ Oh deer.

 

[LostInTyme]

YumYum! Eat 'm up!

 

[MisterCairo]

"Ya know, in the first world War, Germany made a real gutsy move in choosing an enemy. You know, THE WORLD. You'd think that Germany facing, you know, THE WORLD, the war'd be over in like ten minutes, but it was actually pretty close".

Norm Macdonald

 

[Turnip]

Well, you have to explain a defeat against England to your folks at home, somehow…

 

[LostInTyme]

I found twenty dollars in a parking lot.
So, I thought to myself, "what would Jesus do?"
So, I turned it into wine.

 

[Turnip]

I’m similarly gifted, I can turn wine into water.

 

[Frunobulax]

That's nothing. My wife can turn whine into an entire beach vacation.

 

[LostInTyme]

They have finally cured the Invisible Man, they sent him to an ICU.

 

[Frunobulax]

They have finally cured the Invisible Man, they sent him to an ICU.

According to a story I read over last weekend, a teacher had her students come to school dressed for Halloween. ONe kid just didn't show up, and emailed the teacher he came as a ghost.

Points for thinking it through!

 

[Trenchfriend]

The one, I still love.

 

[Zombie_61]

According to a story I read over last weekend, a teacher had her students come to school dressed for Halloween. ONe kid just didn't show up, and emailed the teacher he came as a ghost.

Points for thinking it through!

I hope he/she had a classmate call to say which homework would be due the next day.

 

[LostInTyme]

 

[LostInTyme]

 

[LostInTyme]

What is a retired Terminator called?


The Exterminator.

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[LostInTyme]

That is the "hot assist" light. You can use it to light up a smoke.

 

[GHT]

You thought that putting the clocks back and forth was a pain in the proverbial? Spare a thought for the keepers of Stonehenge.