Unwanted attentions?

Elaina · Mar 14, 2007

I get the "freaky" comments too, sometimes in real life, or women who don't believe I'm a hetrosexual. I usually tell them I'd love to go out, whatever, but they have to ask my husband for permission first. It's a non-confrontational "I'm married" smack to the back of their heads.

Only one has asked.

And I'm glad I'm not the only one that's used the "photography steal your soul" on someone!

Miss_Bella_Hell · Mar 14, 2007

PrettySquareGal said:
Yes, this is what I meant by being clear. As in, "I don't wish to have contact with you."

Hm, well then the block feature might be the only way to go? Is such a feature available?

Whenever I've been bothered online it's usually been via AIM, so the block feature worked.

LizzieMaine · Mar 14, 2007

As far as AIM is concerned, a good way to play safe is to set your preferences to allow only messages from people who are on your Buddy List. That gives you full control over who can and can't contact you, and ensures you won't be pestered by random strangers. Saves a lot of trouble!

PrettySquareGal · Mar 14, 2007

LizzieMaine said:
As far as AIM is concerned, a good way to play safe is to set your preferences to allow only messages from people who are on your Buddy List. That gives you full control over who can and can't contact you, and ensures you won't be pestered by random strangers. Saves a lot of trouble!

Yep. I rarely use AIM, I find it a bother, and I when I do, I have all but a handful of people blocked. (I even block my parents lol )

PrettySquareGal · Mar 14, 2007

Miss_Bella_Hell said:
Hm, well then the block feature might be the only way to go? Is such a feature available?

Whenever I've been bothered online it's usually been via AIM, so the block feature worked.

What I find most bothersome is blogging. I can of course pre-screen comments, but I don't like certain creepy people reading. Making entires "friends only" etc then screens out a lot of non-stalkerish potential readers. I've decided to do away with publishing anything of a personal nature online.

Amy Jeanne · Mar 14, 2007

I don't think I've ever had a web-stalker the entire 10 years I've been online. I remember when we first got AOL in 1997. All I had to do was sign on and I'd instantly get IMs from men wanting sex, all because my AOL profile stated I was "Female." I certainly didn't go into any questionable chat rooms, but they were everywhere back then. This was before you could super-customize everything.

I'm no longer on AOL, but I still have an open MySpace, Live Journal, I used to have a website about old movies...and STILL no online weirdos. Actually, I *did* do the online dating thing with a guy from London that I met on Live Journal (in the "chickabilly" community!). And now I'm married to him!!!

PrettySquareGal · Mar 14, 2007

Amy Jeanne said:
Actually, I *did* do the online dating thing with a guy from London that I met on Live Journal (in the "chickabilly" community!). And now I'm married to him!!!

You see? The internet is dangerous. You might get stalked....or married!

pretty faythe · Mar 14, 2007

LizzieMaine said:
As far as AIM is concerned, a good way to play safe is to set your preferences to allow only messages from people who are on your Buddy List. That gives you full control over who can and can't contact you, and ensures you won't be pestered by random strangers. Saves a lot of trouble!

I use yahoo messanger most often, and I've found the best way to avoid the wacks is to put them on buddy list and then stealth mode them so they never know your on even when you are.

Even when I had aol I only blocked to totally wacked out people. I have had some pretty interesting conversations and met good friends from just randomly being pm by strangers!

TheKitschGoth · Mar 14, 2007

AOL seems to be the worst for it, I used to be guaranteed at least one loony a week when I used AIM, I only use MSN now and get left alone.

mysterygal · Mar 14, 2007

Wierdo's are most certainly everywhere! I think some of the problem with this whole internet thing is that these creeps have a computer to hide behind which makes some actually bolder.
Ignoring usually always does the trick. Sooner or later the person is bound to get tired of the no reaction and go for the next person who will go along with their need for drama.

ITG · Mar 15, 2007

If any of you ladies are getting unwanted attention by someone here and are feeling harrassed after telling someone to leave you alone, please contact one of the bartenders and we can take care of it.

Lady Day · Mar 15, 2007

ITG said:
If any of you ladies are getting unwanted attention by someone here and are feeling harrassed after telling someone to leave you alone, please contact one of the bartenders and we can take care of it.

Absolutely!
This is our job, ladies. If you need us, please contact us.

LD

BitterEpiphany · Mar 15, 2007

I get that a lot - particularly online. (In life, someone larger usually comes along and points out that I would really like it if they went away.) There's actually legal precedant called Internet Menacing if the harrassment gets to severe which it can tend to. Anotehr tip is to report to their ISP, which you can get with a quich whois from the IP in the header of any e-mails they send you.

PrettySquareGal · Oct 22, 2012

Since this thread, which mentions "myspace" and "AIM" as the primary online social outlets, we now have the popularity of Facebook, which is using our real names, and texting. Now more than ever we are much more easily accessible at all times. I enjoy the immediacy of texts and Facebook updates from friends but have found that there are many more entry points for the unwanted attentions. It's very annoying!!

LizzieMaine · Oct 22, 2012

Those are big reasons why I have nothing to do with Facebook, texting, and such things: there are people in my past I'd just as soon not hear from, and there are people in my present I want to be sure stay at arms length. I find that cultivating a stern, hardboiled persona around such people makes it obvious that I don't want to be messed with and they keep their distance.

PrettySquareGal · Oct 22, 2012

LizzieMaine said:
Those are big reasons why I have nothing to do with Facebook, texting, and such things: there are people in my past I'd just as soon not hear from, and there are people in my present I want to be sure stay at arms length. I find that cultivating a stern, hardboiled persona around such people makes it obvious that I don't want to be messed with and they keep their distance.

This is also the problem with "today." The nuances of decorum and social cues are lost on people, and I'm talking in real life, not online, forcing a more harsh and hardboiled approach. I don't like to change who I am because of creeps.

Twice recently I've had to do the blunt "Please do not contact me again." (I debate the addition of "please" which softens the message but I have a hard time letting go of minimal politeness! However, if it crosses the line, they will get vintage 70s-80s NYC ghetto.)

nice hat dude! · Oct 22, 2012

To harass you on line is one thing,usually done by some ball less shmuck hiding behind a computer with no life, but to harass people in their everyday life that's a totally different thing,call the authorities that probably won't do s*#t about it until it's to late ie;read the news they never seem to do much until something serious happens, get hold of your local redneck boys and explain your situation and I'm damn near positive your problem will be looked after

vintageTink · Oct 23, 2012

I never get the wierdos. I feel left out.

Bluebird Marsha · Oct 24, 2012

In real life I occasionally had old men keep hanging around my desk at the library, trying to flirt with me. Most of them were harmless. One was a total nut job and kept calling us with obscene proposals. After the call to the police, and my statement to the effect that I knew where he lived, and I was going to come over with some very LARGE friends to rearrange his face- he left us alone

. One often tipsy old fart would come in to get recipes- which always turned into what did I want for dinner. I finally, loudly told him that I had no intention of telling the town drunk of my food preferences, and from now on he could find his own d%$@ recipes. I then became The Librarian Who Cursed. Which was very useful!

Sadly, online my few problems were a couple of guys I knew in high school. They were something of outcasts, and I was nice to them. *Deep sigh*. I didn't mind them admitting they had crushes on me- I knew that way back when. But in both cases it turn into obscene proposals. TACKY obscene proposals. The defriend button on Facebook is a beautiful thing

vintageTink · Oct 24, 2012

I get hit on occasionally; fortunately not too often. Last time it was some guy who kept asking me "What time it is, baby?". I finally told him it was time for him to get a watch.
I have been flirted with by older men. WAY older men. But I suppose that would be because of my hair and makeup. LOL

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