Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

Clean Jokes

Status
Not open for further replies.
Frunobulax

Frunobulax

Messages
19,137
Location
Funkytown, USA
Saturday Morning Toons...

Screen-Shot-2021-04-30-at-11.39.07-AM.png
IMG_4458.jpeg
Screen-Shot-2021-05-03-at-7.30.23-PM.png
childhood.jpg


Well, in my case, only Herbie is childhood. The rest are my mid-20s.

Screen-Shot-2021-05-06-at-7.56.15-AM.png


Wait, this is illegal?!!
 
LostInTyme

LostInTyme

A-List Customer
Messages
495
Location
Just outside the Land of Milk and Honey.
1B16D90D-BBEF-4A57-AA58-33D8AE65DD76.jpeg

Curtis & Leroy bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."
Curtis & Leroy replied,"Well, then just give us our money back." The farmer said,"Can't do that. I went and spent it already." They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule." The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?" Curtis said, "We gonna raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!" Leroy said, "We shore can! We don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!" A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked. "What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"
They said,"We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do." Leroy said,"We sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898." The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?" Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."
Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.
 
LostInTyme

LostInTyme

A-List Customer
Messages
495
Location
Just outside the Land of Milk and Honey.
> Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile
phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and
begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops talking.
>
>MAN: "Hello"
>
>WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
>
>MAN: "Yes."
>
>WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only
$2,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
>
>MAN: " Sure, go ahead if you like it that
much."
>
>WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new
models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?"
>
>WOMAN: "$90,000."
>
>MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
>
>WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Kate and
found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're
asking $980,000 for it."
>
>MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of
$900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-
thousand if it's what you really want."
>
>WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you
later! I love you so much!"
>
>MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
>
>The man
hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment,
mouths wide open.
>
>He turns and asks, "Anyone know who owns this phone?"
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Trenchfriend
"But I'm content with my life."
2
Replies
20
Views
2K
Trenchfriend
Trenchfriend
LostInTyme
Our Designer Dog
Replies
3
Views
988
LostInTyme
LostInTyme
Trenchfriend
International understanding
Replies
0
Views
1K
Trenchfriend
Trenchfriend
LostInTyme
"Shall we say two o'clock?"
Replies
8
Views
3K
FOXTROT LAMONT
F
TLW '90
A very cool 1920's adventure
Replies
0
Views
605
TLW '90
TLW '90

Members online

... and 14 more.
Total: 3,621 (members: 64, guests: 3,557)

Forum statistics

Threads
107,325
Messages
3,034,117
Members
52,776
Latest member
HughGDePoo
Top