A Good Question

[ArrowCollarMan]

My friend had a very good question today: "I have NEVER met a girl who is ever ONCE been totally straight foerwards about something." It seems as though women are put upon this earth to play games and confuse the hell out of men. Why is this?

 

[Lady Day]

Well before the shooting starts, let me say, I agree.

Girls do that, women dont.

Most of my dude friends are with girls who do play the games, but pass up the women that dont. Why? Not sure. But I had a guy friend who I recently had to translate the talk his girl gave him from 'girl' to 'person' speek so he could understand the 'logic' of it.

The strange thing is I find myself instinctively wanting to 'play' those games. Im constantly having to keep myself in check on it, and not to go down that dark road.

LD

 

[Samsa]

If anyone knew the answer to this question, they would have already written a book and made millions.

I'm afraid we men are doomed to spend the rest of our lives scratching our heads.

 

[LolitaHaze]

About anything in particular? I actually had the opposite responce to my bluntness (no games, ect) I told the guy at Starbucks that I had this huge crush on him. His responce was, "No you don't. People who have crushes don't tell them." I found this to be as confusing as his confusion to my boldness. I don't understand why wouldn't you tell your crush you liked them... so what if they do not like you back. It just wastes time to play games. The only thing I don't tell is my real name and real hair color -- although my roots like to tell on me! Hahaha! lol Of course this is just one example...

 

[ArrowCollarMan]

I wish I had a particular. I'll have to remember some...

 

[Samsa]

About anything in particular? I actually had the opposite responce to my bluntness (no games, ect) I told the guy at Starbucks that I had this huge crush on him. His responce was, "No you don't. People who have crushes don't tell them." I found this to be as confusing as his confusion to my boldness. I don't understand why wouldn't you tell your crush you liked them... so what if they do not like you back. It just wastes time to play games. The only thing I don't tell is my real name and real hair color -- although my roots like to tell on me! Hahaha! lol Of course this is just one example...

My guess would be that he thought you were just mindlessly flirting with him. His (perhaps slightly self-conscious) thought process probably went something like: "a woman with that much beauty and class would not have a crush on me." Just a thought.

 

[ArrowCollarMan]

Or maybe he thought you were messing with him or it was a "too good to be true" kinda thing. If some girl walked up to me and was that straight forward I'd be cautious too (wow, is that hypocritical).

 

[TommySalieri]

I second that. Any woman who did that to me would be greeted by my "WTF?!" face. And believe me, people -- You don't want to see my "WTF?!" face.

Just a warning to you all.....


...

.....

Okay, I'm done here.

 

[TommySalieri]

By the way, I've learned to steer clear of women who play mind games. It pays to have friends that are much older than you and this is why:

Remember this, Arrow.

Women 18-24 usually have a few screws loose. By 25, most women have their heads on straight. And if they haven't reached that point by age 30, then consider them permanently insane.

lol

 

[Mike in Seattle]

I told the guy at Starbucks that I had this huge crush on him. His responce was, "No you don't. People who have crushes don't tell them." I found this to be as confusing as his confusion to my boldness. I don't understand why wouldn't you tell your crush you liked them...

I'd guess that when someone feels they have a crush on someone else, they already know it's one-sided, will probably be unrequitted and lead nowhere. The object of the crush usually knows that the other party is carrying a torch for them. Since they're not interested in the other, they probably think it's better to let something like that go ignored and unspoken because the feelings usually pass. If both had a crush on the other, they'd both probably know it and be willing to procede.

Normally when you tell someone you have a crush on them, it leads to disappointment.

 

[scotrace]

It's a dance. I think you guys are watching your feet and missing the look in her eyes...


Women may seem screwy at twenty-two, but most men are hopeless their whole life through...

 

[Fred G.]

Freddy G gives advice to the love-lorn

I agree, Scott...

If a guy wants to be successful with the ladies, he can't look for gals who do not play head games-- he needs to learn to play the game.

The fairer sex has an obligation to keep the males of the species guessing. That's part of the intrigue! And it keeps them from feeling taken for granted.

Really, male or female, we all want to be prized, and feel worthy of interest. My worst losses in the relationship game was when I did not pay attention, listen closely, try to sense what was being communicated.

I do not believe fellas are all the time straight-up about things, either...

 

[herringbonekid]

"If you really want to know what a woman means, which is dangerous, always look at her but never listen."

Oscar Wilde

 

[Fred G.]

Herringbone, truer words were never spoken...

 

[ArrowCollarMan]

Why do girls get nutty from 18-25? I've heard stuff like that on the radio. I thought those years were supposed to be fun, not scary.

But as for the girl walking up to a guy and saying she likes him; that actually wouldn't be too alarming if maybe you knew that person. If you knew something was going on it probably wouldn't receive the "WTF!?" face.

Also, when do females stop looking for the "mature" guy? I've heard that ever since 7th grade. "I hate guys our age, they're so immature". Oh yeah, and the Sophmore in High School is really going to date a 13 year-old girl? Not gonna happen sweetheart! When they get older (oh say Freshman in High School) then they crush on Seniors and if a Senior does go for a freshman girl its almost always for one thing...

 

[TommySalieri]

Trying to figure out teenage girls is like trying to disprove the existance of God. It's impossible. It's that simple. So try not to break your head over it. In time, things will get A LOT more interesting.

Some guys like the game, others do not. Personally, at this point in my life, I've had more than enough games to last me a few years. :eusa_doh:

 

[Paisley]

I think girls and women are the least nutty at age 11 and under and 35 and over. Some of them turn into Lady MacBeth for a while during menopause. A lot of girls' self esteem tends to go downhill in their teens. The ages you mentioned (18-24) is the age when most women are looking hard for a mate; maybe that has something to do with it. Biologically, socially, emotionally, there's a lot of pressure to find a mate.

Christian Dior said that "women are the most fascinating between the ages of 35 and 39, after they had run a few races and knew how to pace themselves." (Meaning they also have built up some confidence.) "Since no woman ever passes age 39, fascination can continue indefinitely."

Why do girls like older boys? Girls mature faster than boys. They're ahead of boys their own age.

When do they stop looking for "mature" men? I'm 37 and most of my female friends date younger men. They say that men their own age can't keep up with them. I suspect they've also gotten over looking for a man who will take care of them (or control them, depending on how you look at it).

Why don't girls or women just be direct about their intentions? If any woman you're not committed to tells you she wants to marry you and have your children, you'll understand.

 

[Mr. Sable]

Women 18-24 usually have a few screws loose. By 25, most women have their heads on straight. And if they haven't reached that point by age 30, then consider them permanently insane.

So very perfectly put! Spread that truth out to book length and watch out Dr. Phil! YOU'll be the one making the millions.

 

[Spatterdash]

I can't help but wonder if this isn't just the female response in western society to a desire for security, something everyone wants. It may be that women are looking for someone who picks up on subtle gestures yet at the same time is aloof to all the little games people play.
That is a type of confidence that speaks volumes, and everyone loves confidence. It's also a sign of sensitivity without appearing delicate.
Granted, this is all guess work. I just make people laugh and try to notice if anyone is in trouble around me. That has worked fine, well, that and the dimples.
At least it used to work. I'm so married I have a blankie and a water dish. I love it so!

As to my reaction to an extraordinary creature like LolitaHaze saying she had a crush on me, I'd just mutter "No autographs" and wink at her with a crooked grin.
But hey, I've had a house and a car for a decade, so I don't worry too much about the appropriate reaction anymore. My fun-filled twenties are a thing of the past.

 

[ArrowCollarMan]

Its just frusterating I guess. Maybe its because alot of them act like kids and the ones that don't tend to pay little attention to me. The big kid little thing hasn't ended and I don't think it will until I hit my 30's. I've gotten plenty of crap from 20 year-olds because I'm younger so therefore nothing I say is valid. Girls who are 18 or 19 look at me as a cute little high school kid. Well, I can't drive, I don't have a job (yet) and I just can't keep up with the age difference however slight. They'd rather be interested in a 23 year-old college guy. I can't rightly blame them [huh] As for girls my age its just games.

Me: Hey, you look sad whats wrong?
Girl: Nothing.