are we becoming too self-centered?

[Cousin Hepcat]

Are we too much more self-centered than previous generations? Has self-esteem turned into narcissism?

Study: Vanity on the rise...
http://www.cnn.com/2007/EDUCATION/02/27/self.centered.students.ap/index.html

Seems to me, it boils down to, "as people become more self-reliant, they are less reliant on others". To me this is most obvious in male-female relationships: More people just don't see the need to rely on someone else "too much" (?), either for financial or emotional support, or for permanency in relationships. I personally still like entertaining the idea of marriage.

Thoughts? Is this an overall beneficial trend for society? Has it gone far enough, or should we keep down this path because it is Progress?

- C H

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Are we too much more self-centered than previous generations? Has self-esteem turned into narcissism?

Good question ... and one which every single generation asks itself. (It sells newspapers.)

.

 

[griffer]

I'm not too self centered, and I really haven't taken the time out of my busy life to critique others for their abundance or dearth of ego.

Now, MY opinion- which thanks to forums like this one, my opions are now freely available for the enlightenment and betterment of the rest of mankind- is that no one balances rugged individualism, single-minded self aggrandization, independent spirit, and the good ol' trail blazer attitude better than your truly!

To the other question posited: Is self centeredness bad?
Why no, works great for me, but I wonder about the physics involved. How would it be possible for all those people in orbit around me in my universe to also be self centered? Seems like it would throw the whole wonderful whirly gig out of true.

That's not my two cents, that's my eight pounds of pure gold!

Now that that's all cleared up, bartenders can close the thread.

I don't feel the need for anything else to be added. I know I have gotten all I need from this thread, and I will never revisit it.

In fact, if it wasn't for the posterity of recording my musings, I would say just delete it.

I am off to tell my mute wife about my day and give her her allowance.

 

[Twitch]

Every generation has always believed they were at the top of the heap in accrued knowledge which surpassed their predecessors'. So it's simple human nature to think it's all about US and NOW.

 

[Paisley]

I don't see narcisism as self-reliance. If anything, narcisism means being more high-maintenance. Think of an archetypal diva: someone whose ego needs constant care and feeding. Perhaps this is one reason so many marriages fail today: spouses cannot meet the needs of such large egos (nor should they have to). It seems to me that having more modest needs can be a good thing.

 

[Fletch]

People also used to take a lot more crap from each other. That's kind of a lost art, if you ask some social critics who are sick of the "whining" they think they hear everywhere.

 

[Paisley]

People also used to take a lot more crap from each other.

I have to be good friends with someone to be ornery with them. And the person has to have the right sense of humor for practical jokes and such.

That's kind of a lost art, if you ask some social critics who are sick of the "whining" they think they hear everywhere.

A bit of gentle teasing from a friend can help someone get out of the rut of a bad habit.

 

[Fletch]

I don't think that's exactly what they're talking about. The people who think and write like this are angry people, and they believe a lot of others feel anger and want to trade on it.

 

[Nathan Flowers]

to answer your question

Shouldn't you be asking "Am I becoming too self-centered?"

 

[LizzieMaine]

I saw this same article in the newspaper this morning -- and what I took away from it was the idea that it's less about being self-reliant than it is about being, basically, spoiled rotten. When a generation grows up feeling entitled to immediate gratification of every possible need and affirmation of every possible whim, how can it end up being anything *but* self-centered? A year or two spent working on a factory line and living from paycheck to paycheck might knock some of that "vanity" out of them.

(Gad, I'm cranky today. Must be these cold pills.)

 

[Lady Day]

Are we too much more self-centered than previous generations? Has self-esteem turned into narcissism?

- C H

*geeze*

I dont have time to answer this question, I have stuff to do that involves me and only me. Because I give respect if I get it. Thats how I know how I plan on treating people....

**okay, Im done now**

LD

 

[Samsa]

Why aren't there more threads about ME?

 

[Feng_Li]

Anyone who would claim that the current generation is increasingly self-reliant clearly does not know what the term means.

 

[Bebop]

I thought this question was answered half way through our generation. Yes, we have become too self centered and narsissism is a way of life. We encourage people to have "self esteem" as if it were the most important concept in life. I never hear anyone say that someone has too much "self esteem". They say the person is a "go-getter" or "lives life to the fullest".
Another self centered display is all the "never give up on your dreams" bull that is fed to everyone. I think most people should give up on their dreams. They are unreachable and usually make the person feel like a failure because they can't achieve that goal or dream or whatever they want to call it. It usually means don't let anyone get in your way of your goals and that means get self centered and elbow your way through life. Does not work, at least for me.[huh]

 

[Cousin Hepcat]

I don't see narcisism as self-reliance. If anything, narcisism means being more high-maintenance.

Indeed...

nar¬?cis¬?sism - Excessive love or admiration of oneself / self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem / fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development... In fact, sounds quite the opposite of self-reliance. Perhaps, at least with those I've met who're most extremely narcissistic, it's not an actual lack of reliance on others that said folks posess, but rather a lack of appreciation of others, creating a Self-Proclaimed (but imagined) sense of self-reliance, when the truth is quite the opposite.

 

[John in Covina]

I do believe that John Gotti, Adolf Hitler and Joeseph Stalin had high self esteem.

 

[Leading Edge]

Isn't the real question: do we care?

 

[Lady Day]

I thought this question was answered half way through our generation. Yes, we have become too self centered and narsissism is a way of life. We encourage people to have "self esteem" as if it were the most important concept in life. I never hear anyone say that someone has too much "self esteem". They say the person is a "go-getter" or "lives life to the fullest".
Another self centered display is all the "never give up on your dreams" bull that is fed to everyone. I think most people should give up on their dreams. They are unreachable and usually make the person feel like a failure because they can't achieve that goal or dream or whatever they want to call it. It usually means don't let anyone get in your way of your goals and that means get self centered and elbow your way through life. Does not work, at least for me.[huh]

Maybe Im an optimist (yeah right), but I dont think its self centered to NOT give up on your dreams. Granted most people dont put in the work or devotion that it takes, and when I say dreams I dont mean *become a movie star* or something like that. Id gather most people who work at a goal know the difference.

LD

 

[Elaina]

Well, it's not just people under a certain age either.

I go to the fabric store, I get old biddies (from the workers to other customers) giving me guff because the dress I have on is a little out of style. Or I sew with an antique treadle, and not a $4,000+ machine. Or I'm 30. Or my son talks too much. Or my fabric is ugly (which I'll admit, I love ugly fabric, I may have taste, but nothing screams "me" like a piece of fabric no one in their right mind would buy.) Or something. And they all tell me heir opinions.

I quit taking it when I was 26. I'm too old, to self centered and too much my mother's daughter. I tell them off. Sometimes not very nice.

I don't know if it's about THEM or them wanting you to know how much better they are then YOU.

 

[Cousin Hepcat]

You know, this is one of those embarassing times I must say, "What was I THINKING?" :eusa_doh:

My apologies all for starting the thread, it's just downer/whiner with not much use to discussing it for the betterment of anyone...

So continue if you wish, or, feel free to let this topic quietly die.

:eusa_clap