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Clean Jokes

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Funkytown, USA
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12,422
Location
Germany
Two old comrades meet on the street.

"Hey, what's up? You're looking so sad."

"Uh, I placed a marriage advertisement:
"I'm searching for someone, who brings light and warmness to my home."

"And some answered?"

"Two answered. Municipal works and gas company..."
 
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15,563
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East Central Indiana
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GHT

I'll Lock Up
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9,279
Location
New Forest
Two ladies talking in Heaven:
1st woman: Hi, Wanda!
2nd woman: Hi, Sylvia! How did you die?
1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible !
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and died a peaceful death. And you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected my husband was cheating so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him by himself in the living room watching TV.
1st woman: so what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure that there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house searching. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement, then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds, I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive today.
 
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