Clean Jokes

Discussion in 'The Observation Bar' started by jamespowers, Aug 4, 2004.

  1. GHT

    GHT I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    6,938
    Location:
    New Forest
    I lost my job with the funeral directors last week because I kept asking customers whether they wanted “Smoking” or “Non-smoking"
    Apparently the preferred terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
     
  2. Is this too corny..??
    [​IMG]
     
  3. Turnip

    Turnip Practically Family

    Messages:
    667
    Location:
    Europe
    Social distancing

    [​IMG]
     
    Bushman likes this.
  4. [​IMG]
     
    Turnip, Bushman, Zombie_61 and 5 others like this.
  5. Robieman

    Robieman One of the Regulars

    Messages:
    277
    Location:
    Tennessee
    I thought some of you ex military might get a "kick" out of this...
    IMG_3028.JPG
     
    Bamaboots, Turnip, Bushman and 3 others like this.
  6. "If You See Something, Say Something" -- Homeland Security
     
  7. Turnip

    Turnip Practically Family

    Messages:
    667
    Location:
    Europe
    OOOKAAAY - AND THE OTHER TWO WISHES?

    [​IMG]
     
  8. Turnip

    Turnip Practically Family

    Messages:
    667
    Location:
    Europe
    THANKS TO HIS URINAL CATHETER JÜRGEN HAS BEEN VERY LUCKY IN THIS CRASH.

    [​IMG]
     
  9. Benny Holiday

    Benny Holiday My Mail is Forwarded Here

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    Location:
    Sydney Australia
    Ouch!
     
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  10. Trenchfriend

    Trenchfriend I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Germany
    "Hungry, little?"

    "No, he wants to go to Tokio Hotel."

    [​IMG]

     
  11. Turnip

    Turnip Practically Family

    Messages:
    667
    Location:
    Europe
    Practicing Social Distancing

    Right

    [​IMG]

    Wrong

    [​IMG]
     
  12. Trenchfriend

    Trenchfriend I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    8,954
    Location:
    Germany
    A young man with a young (female) social pedagogue in bed, but both sadly bored and idealess.

    "Hm, what do we want to do?"

    "Hm. I give you a b.....b . "Is that okay for you?"
     
  13. Turnip

    Turnip Practically Family

    Messages:
    667
    Location:
    Europe
    Lesson Two, Keeping Six Feet Distance

    Right

    [​IMG]

    Wrong

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2020
  14. Bamaboots

    Bamaboots I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    9,716
    Location:
    Alabama
  15. Turnip

    Turnip Practically Family

    Messages:
    667
    Location:
    Europe
  16. I heard it where the angry driver gave the passive driver the finger.
     
  17. Trenchfriend

    Trenchfriend I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    8,954
    Location:
    Germany
    Most famous GDR joke:

    GDR launched a new improved metal wire, which is so thin, that the usual measuring tools can't measure it.
    So GDR sends the wire in a small parcel to Japan. BUT they forgot to enclose the letter, which contains the request to measure it.

    Then, the wire comes back with a letter from the japanese engineers:
    "We are sorry, but we didn't know what to do with the wire. So we cut an outer and inner thread in."

    Best regards.
     
    Benny Holiday likes this.
  18. Benny Holiday

    Benny Holiday My Mail is Forwarded Here

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    3,513
    Location:
    Sydney Australia
    Benny Holiday's tip of the day: When your wife asks you what's on TV, don't reply, "Dust."
     
  19. Benny Holiday

    Benny Holiday My Mail is Forwarded Here

    Messages:
    3,513
    Location:
    Sydney Australia
    The man who holds the world record for pronouncing the most difficult tongue twisters was arrested this morning. No doubt he’ll be given a tough sentence.
     
  20. Turnip

    Turnip Practically Family

    Messages:
    667
    Location:
    Europe
    Real courage is: Coming home late at night, full to the ridge, meeting your wife waiting with a broom in her hands in the hallway and asking her: „Want to clean up or just take a ride?“
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2020
    Zombie_61, Benny Holiday and Robieman like this.

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