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Don't forget your POISE

katiemakeup

Practically Family
Messages
822
Location
NYC/L.A.
So you are all dolled up and look lovely. Then you go to cross the room and...

CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! :eusa_doh:

What ever happened to elegence, gracefullness and poise? Okay, we can't all be ballerinas, but I just saw a gal in a nice outfit storm across the library like she was Frankenstein... and made just about as much noise.

I know finishing schools are a thing of the past, (or are they?[huh] )
where they have you walk with a book on your head, sit with your ankles crossed etc... and one of my biggest pet peeves, entering and exiting your car with dignity, without showing too much.

I am guilty though, of huge, knee slapping belly laughs. I can't help it! My friends say it's infectious, so I assume it cannot be too bad...

Thoughts? Stories?
 

BegintheBeguine

My Mail is Forwarded Here
If you've got it, flaunt it

A friend said the other day I look like I'm wearing a wiggle dress and wedgies even when I'm wearing a sweatsuit and sneakers. ;) A good tip from me: When exiting a car, put both tootsies on the ground first, then stand up.
Gals today think they have to be obvious and agressive because the guys expect it.
A gal flip-flopped up to my hubby last month and shrieked Tim! Want to see my new tattoo? She can have him. :rolleyes:
 

Daisy Buchanan

My Mail is Forwarded Here
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3,332
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BOSTON! LETS GO PATRIOTS!!!
katiemakeup said:
I know finishing schools are a thing of the past, (or are they?[huh] )
I don't know of any finishing schools in the states, but my mom attended one in Switzerland, and it is still open today. I'm not sure if they still balance books on their heads. But, I have heard the stories of her learning how to walk and set a proper table setting.

It is difficult nowadays, it certainly seems that modern shoes are quite noisy. Nothing is worse than walking through a quiet museum and hearing the annoying squeak of a new pair of shoes, or the clip clop of a pair of flip flops.
 

Lady Day

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
9,087
Location
Crummy town, USA
Im wearing my bitchin' boots today, and they make a loud click noise on the street. Im always cautious of it, and try to bring my foot down gently, so as to reduce the CLOMP, to a clomp :)

When Im in a stride, and just walking along my way, I do CLOMP, but Im a movin' and it works then.

It does annoy me when women are not cautious of the noise their shoes can make. That is what the cute little 'scurry' is for. You know, when you do a random bold across the way for no reason other than to reduce the noise of your shoes lol I did two today.

LD
 

fleur

One of the Regulars
Messages
128
Location
North Devon, England
I had to teach my cousin how to walk in a dangerously high pair of peep toe shoes.

I told her instead of striding to take smaller steps and wiggle.

It worked a treat :D
 

~landgirl~

A-List Customer
Messages
485
Location
Hampshire, UK
There are a couple of finishing school in the UK - and there was a series on TV a while back called 'Ladette to Lady' did anyone see it? Filmed at Eggleston Hall.
 

GOK

One Too Many
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1,308
Location
Raxacoricofallapatorius
My SIL went to finishing school. She has very good deportment. I took ballet classes as a child and did gymnastics, so I do too. I feel it is something that is very important, especially as being so tall (5'10" - 6'+ in heels) I could easily feel ungainly when with shorter people. I NEED to feel elegant and graceful! lol

I loathe all this slouchy lad-swagger that so many girls these days seem to have. Or the leaning-forward-with-knees-bent walk because they don't have the first idea how to walk in their heels. Do they think they look attractive? :eek:

I pride myself on being able to walk elegantly in 5" heels (though generally I'm in 4s!) and being able to enter and exit cars in a dignified manner. We have a teeny tiny sports car, so I have to be careful. Compared to that, normal sized cars are a breeze!

BegintheBeguine said:
Gals today think they have to be obvious and agressive because the guys expect it.

I think you have hit the nail on the head there, BtB. It's all about aggression. I'm all for equality but really, is there any reason to behave like a lout? For either gender it is unflattering and a complete turn off - but for a female to behave so...:rage:

I find it sad that so many females these days have no idea of the power they hold (I won't say women because like the terms Lady and Gentleman, that is an accolade and not a generalization IMO), nor how to use it to its full advantage. I'm not talking about manipulation (frankly that stinks) but using all the assets we as women are fortunate to have.

It's about time there was another revolution - one where females embraced their womanhood and became empowered. There is no need for aggression, bra burning or man-hating. We should be celebrating our gender, not burying it.

**Oh I'm on a roll today!** lol
 

~landgirl~

A-List Customer
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485
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Hampshire, UK
I must confess to being a bit of a swearer :eek:

But I am trying to replace my 'insult' vocab with more vintage words such as

'bleeders' and 'buggers' and 'bleedin 'ell'

But I am beginning to sound rather like a cockney!

P.S. The above words are considered fairly mild in the UK - so I hope I haven't upset anyone!!

I have lots of other mannerisms that aren't so ladylike also. For instance, I bite my nails to 'buggery' and I belch in front of my other half lol
 

GOK

One Too Many
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1,308
Location
Raxacoricofallapatorius
~landgirl~ said:
I must confess to being a bit of a swearer :eek:

But I am trying to replace my 'insult' vocab with more vintage words such as

'bleeders' and 'buggers' and 'bleedin 'ell'

But I am beginning to sound rather like a cockney!

P.S. The above words are considered fairly mild in the UK - so I hope I haven't upset anyone!!

I have lots of other mannerisms that aren't so ladylike also. For instance, I bite my nails to 'buggery' and I belch in front of my other half lol

Jen you are a minger! LOL! How could you? lol I can see I need to teach you about allure and mystique. I bet you even let your man see you shave your legs too! :rolleyes: **shakes head sadly**
 

~landgirl~

A-List Customer
Messages
485
Location
Hampshire, UK
Ha ha. lol

Sorry, I know I shoudn't burp - but he does think it is rather funny and sweet. [huh] I don't do it in public, or in front of my friends even!

And biting my nails.. I will take ANY advice for curbing that habit!

I always stand up straight and have excellent table manners! :D
 

Kim_B

Practically Family
Messages
820
Location
NW Indiana
Being fairly young and having a very close relationship with my younger cousins (16 and 18), I honestly have to say I just don't think girls these days know what it means to be a lady. I mean, look through the media, and all we see is Britney and Paris flaunting themselves as party girls with their 'ladies' hanging out. Seriously, take a look at the female figures these girls have to look up to, and tell me one positive thing about each of them (besides Britney kicking K-Fed to the curb!) I can't think of anything. We see these girls day in and day out, all the same stories...parties, scantily clad, who's stealing who's boyfriend. What message is this sending our young ladies?!

And it doesn't help that there really doesn't seem to be a need to raise boys to be gentlemen anymore. In talking with my cousins it seems most of the guys they go to school with expect the girls to be easy...and if you aren't there is something wrong with you. I'm sure the girls get confused at how they should really be behaving!
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
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33,145
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Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
Years ago I took a public speaking course, and "poise" was one of the qualities on which we were graded -- not just how we conducted ourselves on the platform but also how we looked as we approached the podium before the talk and left it afterwards. No clomping, no schlepping, no sauntering, no shuffling, no draping one's-self over the lectern. I've found this training quite valuable -- and in lieu of a real finishing school, I'd definitely recommend looking into such courses!
 

fleur

One of the Regulars
Messages
128
Location
North Devon, England
I do swear when the need arises I have to admit :rolleyes: But not in a general sense.

I dont consider myself old at 34 but I think some of my good manners are starting to rub off especially on my younger cousin (and she is only 31).

However gok - you make me sad *sniff sniff* - if ever we meet I promise not to walk next to you being a meagre 5 ft 4.5 inches tall!

I have to agree with the general agressiveness and plain old rudeness of younger girls today :eusa_doh: I can safely say that my daughter will NOT be one of those numbers either.

Dont schools teach children respect anymore [huh]
 
P

Paul

Guest
I think it all starts with the need to be dignified, elegant and Graceful which is not as prevalent now as it was once. A few decades ago going out for a evening, a meal or dance was a special occasion so both girls and boys would make a big effort, wearing your best attire and knowing the cost did mean that you would not jump over a wall or do anything that risk damaging the clothes. The rest of good behaviour sort of follows.
But now if a lady breaks a heel then it's only a few $ to replace it so what not a big deal.
Appreciating the value of things has a lot to do with it, both financial and social. Because it is now possible to go out several times a week I think people do not make the same effort and if you do not respect yourself why should you expect other to respect you in return.

They say the Internet has a lot of influence over the younger generation. I have not seen any sites teaching deportment, makeup , fashion Yes but cannot think of one that teaches ladies how to walk in heels, sit down correctly etc.:eusa_clap
Them there is no money to be made from that.
 

~landgirl~

A-List Customer
Messages
485
Location
Hampshire, UK
fleur said:
Dont schools teach children respect anymore [huh]

No, that went out of the window with home economics! Some of my friends don't even know how to boil an egg and that is at the age of 24!

It's a sad society today. If only I had been taught to knit and sew at school, those kind of skills have died out for the younger generation and that is why I am determined to do my very best to learn them and teach my own children when I have them!
 

Grace

Vendor
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255
Location
Among the Tragically Hip
I was thinking of posting something along these lines just the other day!

I have noticed lately, that while heels are returning to fashion for younger crowd, no one knows how to wear them or walk in them! I used to complain to no end about why no one wears heels any more. I still see girls wearing perfectly feminine dresses and the ugliest, chunkiest shoes you've ever seen. I could go on forever about this. I think Glamour needs to come to my city and do a shoot for the black bar thing, they'd be beside themselves! And Stacy and Clinton from What Not to Wear would just DIE!

I am all too familiar with the CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP Frankenstein walk. Or wearing the completely wrong heels with the wrong outfit. They totter around looking completely stupid.

And, lordy, you ought to see the girls at the bars in these parts! Terribly loud and obnoxious and vulgar and completely whoring themselves around to any guy who will them any attention at all. UGH and then, half way through the night they decide their feet hurt, so they remove their shoes and walk around BAREFOOT on the bar floor :eek:

If you don't know how to wear heels, don't wear them at all!

I curse like a sailor (on occasion) and I have a nasty temper. I'm quick to anger and I will fight if pushed to it. I drink booze, beer and I smoke like a chimney. But I never forget that I'm a lady.
 
P

Paul

Guest
Grace said:
I was thinking of posting something along these lines just the other day!

I have noticed lately, that while heels are returning to fashion for younger crowd, no one knows how to wear them or walk in them!

I agree with you 100% ladies heels and shoe, I would say there is a small minority who do just glide over the ground as they walk effortless in heels they look as if it just a natural extension to there legs.
But on the other hand a lot of ladies or girls are obviously wearing them just because they are in fashion or there friend have them and do not want to be the odd one out.They look as if they might be near to the point of falling down every other step and sway like a old farmer .Looking and possibility feeling very awkward wearing them.
But hay that's fashion or what they think it is.
 

Paisley

I'll Lock Up
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5,439
Location
Indianapolis
I used to have a roommate (in 1989) who sounded like a sumo wrestler walking around. She must have weighed all of 125 pounds.

A year or two ago, there was a girl at a dance club who was bouncing up and down so hard that the CD player on the other side of the room was skipping.

I imagine that is hard on your body, as well as being loud and ungraceful. You are plunking your feet down instead of allowing your muscles to absorb the impact.
 
P

Paul

Guest
It is your knees Paisley, that takes this sort of punishment, same as jogging a lot on hard pavements . You only find out in years to come.
 

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