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How can you mend a broken heart.....

flat-top

My Mail is Forwarded Here
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3,772
Location
Palookaville, NY
I know this may not be the place for this, but what the heck!
How many out there have had their heart broken? How did you get over it (or have you?)
I'm dealing with heart break right now, and am having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I have great friends, and the attention of a couple of young ladies, but still, I am tormented by "why" and what if".
What's a hopeless romantic to do?
:cry: flat-top :cry:
 
Messages
11,579
Location
Covina, Califonia 91722
When it is serious, it takes serious time to get over it. Review, learn from your mistakes, and then move on. If you are religious, just remember, you are exactly where God wants you to be.

In a couple of weeks or so, go someplace new and have an adventure, try to build a new friendship and share an in depth experience with another of the fairer sex.
 

Andykev

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,118
Location
The Beautiful Diablo Valley
Been there, done that. Have the T shirt to prove it.

Most of us have experienced "This is the one" syndrom. Move on, and learn, as it makes you a better person for the experience. You cannot MAKE someone love you, it has to be right. I pray "thanks" that the "one" I wanted never came to be...for if it did, I would be a divorce statistic. And never would have met my wife, or had my son.

I look back and say, "oh my God, I am so glad I didn't ....". Trust in fate. You will survive..but the pain is not going to diminish. Except "TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS".
 

Hemingway Jones

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
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6,099
Location
Acton, Massachusetts
If you're still young, you have plenty of chances to meet someone new. And once you do, it will erase all of the pain of your former relationships. The best thing to do when a relationship ends is to achieve some happiness in yourself. Then, when someone new comes along, you share it with them and it is a whole new world.

If you're fortunate, you find someone wonderful when you are young and you remain together for the rest of your days.

Personally, my last relationship was six years ago. I have moved on to other things and have never been happier. My romantic years are behind me and my most prosperous years are ahead. I am too old to be seduced my illusions of love.

I wish you well, Flat Top. It is never an easy thing to get through.
 

flat-top

My Mail is Forwarded Here
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3,772
Location
Palookaville, NY
I guess to complicate matters, this last gal WAS the one who erased all the bad from my previous relationships. So to think there is someone more "perfect" than her..at this moment doesn't seem possible.
Line 'em up:beer:
flat-top
 

Solomon Kane

Familiar Face
Messages
69
Location
Salem, Mass.
Look at it this way, she was not perfect for you. Focus on her flaws, in this time of sorrow. Think about those things she did that really iritated you. We know that it is of little comfort, but this too shall pass.

We have been married for what seems an eternity now, and have several offspring. Even marraige is filled with disapointment and heartache.
 

Clyde R.

One of the Regulars
Messages
164
Location
USA
What Andy said....

It just takes time. Try not to obsess about it too much (but you will)
Try to get out and DO things
Other fair maidens never hurt, when you're ready.
We've all been there. It'll get better.
 

Doctor Strange

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,228
Location
Hudson Valley, NY
As someone who survived a very ugly divorce situation a few years back - with little kids caught in the crossfire, many thousands of dollars of debt to deal with, blatant miscarriages of the legal system, years of therapy - let me assure you that just dealing with heartbreak is awful... but things can be much, much worse. I would never claim that "just" the emotional loss and sense of betrayal is a minor thing, but at a bit later stage of life, it can be only a component of an entire constellation of misery that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

But the human heart does have a way of mending itself: life is long, and full of interesting new things.

Besides, to paraphrase Shakespeare (though I don't recall the precise wording or even which play), "it's not the worst, so long as we can point to something else and say *that's* the worst"!
 

photobyalan

A-List Customer
Write a semi-fictional story about it. Change the names, change a few details. Post it on the web. You'll be amazed at how cathartic that is. While you're writing it, listen to some old Warren Zevon, from the late 70's/early 80's. Always made me feel better. And there's always whiskey. As Lenny Leonard says: "There's nothin' like a depressant to chase away the blues!"
 

Big Man

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3,781
Location
Nebo, NC
If you love them, set them free ...

I once saw a t-shirt with a very thought provoking saying: "If you love something, set it free and if it loves you, it will return. But, if it doesn't return, hunt it down and kill it!"
 

Hemingway Jones

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
6,099
Location
Acton, Massachusetts
herringbonekid said:
none of my business Hemingway, but these lines surprised me. i thought you and Daisy B were an item ?
I don't want to hijack the thread, but let me just say that Daisy and I live together in a very large space and we are the best of friends; so much so, that my friends, including Mr Bern, call her my "fake wife." ;) Sometimes, that's better than a real relationship.

Flat Top, I was thinking a little more about your dilemma. Relate heartbreak to being hungover; it is the lasting effects of a relationship afterall. But, as sick as you get when you are hungover, so sick, in fact, that if you woke up that sick and hadn't been drinking the night before, you would immediately rush to the emergency room, so too is the pain of heartbreak, but as serious as if feels, like alcohol poisoning, eventually you process it through your system and move on.

Each day you will improve until that one morning when you wake up and the sun seems a little brighter, the air a little sweeter, and you forget what you were so upset about.

If you're lucky, beyond that point, she'll call, and you won't even care.

You know what; go rent "Swingers."
 

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