Shhhhhhhhhh! I am trying to watch the MOVIE!

[Paisley]

You clearly have the patience I lack. I demand NO NOISE, and NO CHILDREN.

Any noise other than the occasional cough or breathing is undue. Children cannot be expected to be held to those standards.

For a small child to meet those standards, I agree that is unreasonable. But an older child should be able to sit through a movie without chattering.

And here exactly is my point. Nobody would dream of wasting a $60 and up symphony ticket or a $200 dinner on a child.

I guess I was sitting beside nobody and their fidgety, blabbering toddler that New Year's Eve at the symphony.

 

[Feraud]

This very interesting discussion has brought out the devil's advocate in me.
I do not want to walk around wiping anyone's nose either or having to be the morality police.

(rhetorical question coming up..)
What do we do when we are in these situation? What responsiblity do we have to the public good?
Confront the situation, walk away, or sometimes do a little of both. [huh]

This discussion reminds me of an article I read that really annoyed me. The actor Kirk Douglas wrote an "open letter" to some media outlet. I will paraphrase his article as, "prior generations have ruined the world and it is your mess to clean up." :rage: What?? Prior generations of businesses, politicians, and actors brought us to this stage of civilization through their actions or lack of, and we have to pay the price?
Something is wrong here.

 

[griffer]

...I guess I was sitting beside nobody and their fidgety, blabbering toddler that New Year's Eve at the symphony.

Oh, boo on them.

Nobody should dream of it....see earlier post, decline of civilization, stoopid parents etc....

GAL DANG THESE CRAZY KIDS!

 

[griffer]

...What do we do when we are in these situation? What responsiblity do we have to the public good?
Confront the situation, walk away, or sometimes do a little of both....

I confront, verbally and non-verbally, but it gets tiring fighting windmills.

......we have to pay the price?

Not me, I skip town before the barkeep comes for the tab.

I'll buy you a drink on Mars in 2037, just have them put it on my tab....

 

[Paisley]

What do we do when we are in these situation? What responsiblity do we have to the public good?
Confront the situation, walk away, or sometimes do a little of both. [huh]

It depends on your role in the situation. The night I was at the symphony beside the noisy two-year-old, whose mother was putting him into his jammies while they were in their seats, I finally shot the mother a dirty look, looked at the kid, and looked back at her. She took her baby and left.

If you are the parent, you should, IMHO, leave your little kids at home when you go out to a place that isn't for little kids specifically. If the sitter cancels at the last minute--too bad.

Proprietors are in a difficult position. Some parents are downright militant about taking their kids everywhere they go. I guess they should make a policy, state it up front, and be consistent about enforcing it.

 

[Fletch]

This discussion reminds me of an article I read that really annoyed me. The actor Kirk Douglas wrote an "open letter" to some media outlet. I will paraphrase his article as, "prior generations have ruined the world and it is your mess to clean up." :rage: What?? Prior generations of businesses, politicians, and actors brought us to this stage of civilization through their actions or lack of, and we have to pay the price?
Something is wrong here.

Hey, Kirk's generation may have ruined the world. But prior to that, they saved it. So cut 'em some slack. It was theirs to ruin, if ruin it they did.
Besides, their numbers are dwindling and the survivors largely failing. They couldn't clean up the mess if they owned up to it.

 

[Dinerman]

i expect there are. the problem is, one can't hear them.

hence my speaking up.

 

[Elaina]

I can take the parent route here. I can take my son anywere I choose. I also chose to make sure said child would be approproately behaved.

We hit the kiddie joints. I don't like them (do yourself a favor and just not eat the pizza at Chuck E. Cheese's), I don't like kids running hither and yon screaming, but I know if I go in them it's going to happen. Heck, my kid is going to do it.

On the same token, I can (and have) taken my son to the ballet. He doesn't like it, would rather have a dental appointment, but he behaved. I had to answer some questions through it, but I made a point of keeping mine, and his, voices low so as not to disturb others. I can take my kid to Mass and know he's not going to be playing his game boy, and I can take him to the tea rooms and not be embarassed by his manners. Because I spend a lot of time and threats to get him like that. It's a lot of work.


I'm one of those that feel a child that is well-behaved and when appropriate (for God's sake, New Year's eve is not appropriate) my son should and does tag along. I also make sure then when I have children with me, they will be welcome. You can't teach your own children manners when other people act boorish and rude to them.

There is a time and a place for everything. I don't get too upset when some mother has a baby that decides halfway through a meal at Denny's to start screaming. I think any parents been thorough that. I don't feel the need to comment about it (although a lot do) and if they leave, good, if not, it's a family restaurant. I don't expect to go to Olive Garden and have some squalling baby cry through dinner.

I'm not militant about my son going everywhere (which he does about 95% of the time) but I feel it's my duty to have a child people don't mind being around. I just wish other people would do the same.

 

[Daisy Buchanan]

You clearly have the patience I lack. I demand NO NOISE, and NO CHILDREN.

No thanks, I left the children's table a long time ago, and I don't choose to go back.

I am very short on patience too. However, there are places that I choose to go to of my own free will, and I know there will be children there. I can only hope that the parents of these children would do their jobs and instead of ignoring their loud disruptive children, they should be teaching some discipline. However, it's hard to teach your children this if you have none yourself.
A very good example of this is when I flew to California last month. I had the pleasure of sitting in front of a woman and her 4 kids, all under the age of 6. The kids were jumping around on the seats. Pulling themselves out of their seats by grabbing onto the back of mine. They were playing some sort of board game that involved incredibly loud voices. 2 of the kids were in the row behind me with the mom. The other two were in the opposite row. But, they all wanted to play the game, so all four kids and mom piled into the 3 seats behind me. This went on for the entire 4 hour flight. To top it all off, mom was the loudest out of all of them. She spoke so loudly that I could hear her clearly even with my headphones on. It was awful. The noise, my chair constantly kicked. I tried to recline my seat a bit, which I only do if I know the person behind me will not be disturbed. Being that their was a tiny tot behind me, I leaned all the way back. The mom, who decided to move behind my seat kept yanking and kicking the back of my seat. I turned around quite a few times, each time with a glance that was crueler than the previous. She then had the nerve to ask me to move my seat for she didn't have enough space. I told her that maybe if she didn't have 5 people in a spot only meant for three that she would be quite comfortable. She said it was a long flight, and it was important that her kids were comfortable so they wouldn't get grumpy. I informed her they would be much more comfortable if they each had their own seats. The flight attendant did finally come up to them and made them move back to their own places. The mom kept yapping away, so loud. And her yapping was all nonsense. I don't like hearing other peoples conversation, I particularly don't want to hear completely idiotic conversation!!! By the time we arrived in California, I was in tears. It was just so horrible, talk about sensory overload. This woman was the reason why her kids had no manners, for she had none of her own to teach to her kids. The even sadder part is our flight was going on to Hawaii, another 6 to 7 hour flight, and she was on it. I felt so badly for the people who were continuing on. As we were leaving the plane we heard people as far away as five rows talking about how loud this woman was. Apparently she was taking her kids from Virginia to Hawaii to visit their dad who now lived there (yes, I got the woman's life story). It's no wonder the guy lives across the world from her. I would probably move farther away just to never hear the sound of her voice again!!

As for fine dining. I've seen it all too often. Enjoying dinner at a nice restaurant, spending a lot of money on a meal that I want to get every pennies worth. At these restaurants you expect to pay for atmosphere too. If I wanted loud tv's and bad music I'd eat at Friday's. But, and I don't know if it's a city thing, I've been to higher priced restaurants and seen parents with young kids. It's ridiculous to buy a kid a $70 dinner that will probably end up on the floor instead of in it's belly.

 

[griffer]

Less this becomes a debate over the merits of EDITED FOR CONTENT, for the record, I ador children. Really, dead serious; I wish could have some.

I play with them; let them play with me. I love their squeals; I even enjoy their fussiness sometimes.

But I do not trust parents' judgment. Sorry.

I am sure your little <name> is an angel and not like anyone else's little demon.

I am sure your discreet explanations were good intentioned and as discreet as possible. No sarcasm, I probably would have thought a well behaved, engaged young boy at a ballet to be adorable. The exception is, unfortunately, not the rule.

And I am NOT saying all rug rats should be under lock an key until 30, in fact I would take the company of a 3 year old over the company of a 15 year old in a heart beat.

I fully support children being taken in public and being taught social graces, arts, and theater.

This thread was simply about setting aside 'grown-up' times and spaces, specifically for movies.

Bless the children, 'cause somebody has gotta clean up after me when I'm gone...

 

[Daisy Buchanan]

Less this becomes a debate over the merits of -------, for the record, I ador children. Really, dead serious; I wish could have some.

I play with them; let them play with me. I love their squeals; I even enjoy their fussiness sometimes.

But I do not trust parents' judgment. Sorry.

I am sure your little <name> is an angel and not like anyone else's little demon.

I am sure your discreet explanations were good intentioned and as discreet as possible. No sarcasm, I probably would have thought a well behaved, engaged young boy at a ballet to be adorable. The exception is, unfortunately, not the rule.

And I am NOT saying all rug rats should be under lock an key until 30, in fact I would take the company of a 3 year old over the company of a 15 year old in a heart beat.

I fully support children being taken in public and being taught social graces, arts, and theater.

This thread was simply about setting aside 'grown-up' times and spaces, specifically for movies.

Bless the children, 'cause somebody has gotta clean up after me when I'm gone...

Oh, I don't think you were giving that idea at all
If anything I think a lot of us feel the same exact way as you do.
I must admit I felt a little badly saying how much I can't stand how kids behave in public places. I love kids, I can't wait to have a bunch of my own. I really think that their behavior is a direct reflection of their parents. Parent now-a-day's are so lax, it seems they spoil their kids rotten. Back in the day discipline was viewed as a necessity. Now it is often considered some sort of twisted abuse. I don't know if this is affecting the way parents are rearing their children, but it seems like their is no longer discipline that is actually PC or allowed to be instilled in our future generations.
Sorry to yap on about my sister again, but her son Isaac is really into helping out. My sister is a bit neurotic when it comes to cleaning up, and I think Isaac has picked up on this. Anyway, he wanted to clear all the appetizer plates from the coffee table, nice china dishes. But, he hasn't figured out yet that if you bang glass it breaks. So he's tossing the dishes on top of one another, each one chipping or cracking. I went over to him and showed him that he had to do it nicely, gently. He didn't listen, he's a boy he wants to bang things around. I then took the plates away and said, and I must say I did this in a sweet voice without the hint of anger, that he can't play with the plates any more because he was hurting them. My sister overheard this and said that I was being mean!!! That I shouldn't have reprimanded him, he's a boy and he has feelings!!!!!! I in know way reprimanded him, I just stopped him from breaking more plates, and potentially hurting himself on a broken piece of glass. Argh!!!! I'm so worried that he's gonna be this spoiled little brat who gets everything he wants. And because now he does not get reprimanded when it is indeed necessary, he will learn that he will never be reprimanded for anything he does, so he will end up pushing his boundaries. By the time my sister realizes that a little discipline is needed, she won't be able to administer it.

 

[Feraud]

Just to balance the conversation a bit..
I have seen quite a few well behaved young adults. What boggles my mind are the adults who act no better than a spoiled child! What is going on here?
Cell phone to ear, removing shoes in movie theater, bad driving, etc.
If they make Mars livable I am going!

 

[Daisy Buchanan]

Just to balance the conversation a bit..
I have seen quite a few well behaved young adults. What boggles my mind are the adults who act no better than a spoiled child! What is going on here?
Cell phone to ear, removing shoes in movie theater, bad driving, etc.
If they make Mars livable I am going!

I'm right there with you Feraud! Mars is sounding quite attractive to me right now, except for those pesky martians

 

[Feraud]

I'm right there with you Feraud! Mars is sounding quite attractive to me right now, except for those pesky martians

If they are not constantly on intergalactic cell phones I will deal with 'em.

 

[Fletch]

Parent now-a-day's are so lax, it seems they spoil their kids rotten. Back in the day discipline was viewed as a necessity. Now it is often considered some sort of twisted abuse. I don't know if this is affecting the way parents are rearing their children, but it seems like their is no longer discipline that is actually PC or allowed to be instilled in our future generations.

Once again let's look to the greater culture. I really believe language shapes reality. The word discipline itself has taken on connotations of punishment, domination, or abuse. In that sense, I'm not surprised most parents just waffle and act confused. Who (except a few fundamentalist zealots) sets out to dominate or abuse their kids?

The culture most families live in today doesn't have a strong concept of loving discipline, humane discipline, or thoughtful discipline. It's a lot easier for the media to titillate us with a nasty, in-your-face sense that Judge X or Coach Y is going to come down hard, kick butt and take names than it is for them to provide healthy models for caring authority figures. This is even truer now that simplistic and heavy handed methods to "train" kids have become so popular.

[...]he wanted to clear all the appetizer plates from the coffee table, nice china dishes. But, he hasn't figured out yet that if you bang glass it breaks. So he's tossing the dishes on top of one another, each one chipping or cracking. I went over to him and showed him that he had to do it nicely, gently. He didn't listen, he's a boy he wants to bang things around. I then took the plates away and said, and I must say I did this in a sweet voice without the hint of anger, that he can't play with the plates any more because he was hurting them. My sister overheard this and said that I was being mean!!! That I shouldn't have reprimanded him, he's a boy and he has feelings!!!!!!

Now I'm no behaviorist. So $.02 here. But that makes me think you sister's scared of setting limits with her boy – maybe because she doesn't think she can set limits for herself? Or is afraid of turning into a control freak with no regard for her son's emotional well being?

Chipping dinnerware is obviously no help to anyone's emotional well being, but again, your sister's (over)reaction might just be because she doesn't have a positive and loving idea of "discipline." I'm convinced a lot of people don't these days.

 

[griffer]

I just wanted to go to the movies..... <sniff!>

I surrender to Dr. Spock.








​

 

[Hemingway Jones]

I moved this...

... to the Observation Bar, where it really belongs.

It doesn't really concern motion pictures and started on the subject of loud kids at the cinema.

I had to clean up some of the language. Let's hold our discourses to a higher level.

Thank you.

 

[Lady Day]

Once again let's look to the greater culture. I really believe language shapes reality. The word discipline itself has taken on connotations of punishment, domination, or abuse. In that sense, I'm not surprised most parents just waffle and act confused. Who (except a few fundamentalist zealots) sets out to dominate or abuse their kids?

The culture most families live in today doesn't have a strong concept of loving discipline, humane discipline, or thoughtful discipline. It's a lot easier for the media to titillate us with a nasty, in-your-face sense that Judge X or Coach Y is going to come down hard, kick butt and take names than it is for them to provide healthy models for caring authority figures. This is even truer now that simplistic and heavy handed methods to "train" kids have become so popular.

Now I'm no behaviorist. So $.02 here. But that makes me think you sister's scared of setting limits with her boy – maybe because she doesn't think she can set limits for herself? Or is afraid of turning into a control freak with no regard for her son's emotional well being?

Chipping dinnerware is obviously no help to anyone's emotional well being, but again, your sister's (over)reaction might just be because she doesn't have a positive and loving idea of "discipline." I'm convinced a lot of people don't these days.

One thing with words is I find parents use the term 'want' in exchange for the term 'need'. When they should use the phrase 'would like'.

"What do you want, honey?"

"What would you like, honey?"

Want insinuates a command, where as would like, indicates you are aware of something else.

Also the sheer NUMBER of choices a 5 year old has are astounding. You have to narrow the field for a kid. "What would you like, honey? You can have either X or X."

LD

 

[The_Edge]

I'm all for your idea, Griffer. I would definitely go to and possibly pay extra for a movie theater that caters to folks that are respectful of their fellow film going patrons. I'm not at all concerned with discriminating on an age or even financial basis. Heck, bring on a dress code too! As long as I get the kind of movie going experience I expect when shelling out the dough everyone else can shove off.

The main problem is that I have been in many a movie where the person talking too loud or answering a phone is over twenty-one and should know better. These people should be forcefully removed from the auditorium and knee capped.

 

[griffer]

My apologies to the forum, and specifically those reading this thread.

I used a term that is a play on the phrase 'fruit of our loins', an old euphemism for children.

It was intended to be humorous, but it came across as vulgar. It was not a reference to any body parts, nor meant to be vulgar. I endeavor to write well, and keep the tone above the fray, but this time I missed.

Again, I had hoped to spark a discussion of movie etiquette and the idea of a 'premium' movie experience, but we got sidelined into a discussion of children. Thanks for moving the thread.

Sorry to make a mess on the bar, glad this place has such good bartenders.